Should News Corp Buy Viacom

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzAdam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzYES!

But only Viacom’s cable networks and digital assetsCBS (not wanting to leave the cocoon of Old Media) should buy Viacom’s Paramount Pictures.

Is there any chance in hell this could actually happen?  Could Rupert Murdoch pull off an acquisition of that magnitude?

No fucking way.  Not while old man Redstone continues to draw a breath.

So, yes, it’s most likely a non-starter.  But even in a fantasy scenario, wouldn’t it be great to finally get rid of Viacom and Redstone?  Both are simply a mess and completely unnecessary.

[Note:  I realize Sumner Redstone is Chairman of the Board and majority stockholder of CBS, but Les Moonves is the much more appealing face of that company, not SumnerSumner is the face of Viacom… and the media world has had enough.]

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenImagine News Corp (which has the weakest portfolio of cable assets save Fox News, FX and those regional sports thingies) with Viacom’s cable channels: MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, TV Land, VH1, etc. etc.

This would immediately fill all News Corp’s demographic needs and, in the digital channel universe, put them on par with Time Warner, Disney and, in late 2010, Comcast.

Viacom was never going to be on par with anyone as long as Sumner is around (even with those assets)… so it’s time to shut it down.

As for CBS and their acquisition of Paramount Pictures… they, obviously, just want to be an old media company and ride that peaceful, easy feeling all the way into the grave.  Buying Paramount Pictures (and, hey, why not MGM while they’re at it!) would help realize that mid-1990s-vertical-alignment-synergy-world they are striving for.  And based on Comcast’s purchase of NBCU (which valued Universal Studios at less than $3 billion), Paramount, with its much smaller film and television library, can be picked up at quite a fire sale bargain.  (Wait two years and it will be even more of a bargain!)

Also, this would give CBS the opportunity to shut down the ridiculous CBS Films vanity project before it becomes a further embarrassment.

So, think about it people.  A deal like this would really be a win-win-win for everyone… and help us to get rid of (at least a part of) Sumner Redstone once and for all.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Xfinity – R.I.P.

Alix Cottrell, Amy Banse, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, fancastXfinity, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Karin Gilford, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Samuel Schwartz, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling, Xfinity, Xfinity TVYesterday, I told Comcast to dump Fancast and embrace Hulu.

Today, we learn that Comcast has decided to change the name of Fancast to FancastXfinity or just Xfinity.

Horrible – horrible name.

No one will use it.

Xfinity is dead.

As I said yesterday to Comcast (and say again today), dump Fancast (Xfinity) and embrace Hulu.  You might as well get some benefit from this disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.

All other confusing video watching sites owned by Comcast (currently running or in development) must be destroyed.

While on the subject of Comcast NBC Universal, my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., had a truly bizarre conversation with Comcast CEO Brian Roberts last night.  I’m still trying to make sense of it.  Check it out here.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Comcast Should Dump Fancast, Embrace Hulu

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling

Here’s why:

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling“OPTION 1:  SWITCH TO ANOTHER BROWSER?”

What is my five-year-old daughter and my 90-year-old grandmother supposed to do with that?!

When I go to Hulu, I get no prompt that says (in so many words) “MY MACHINE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FOR THIS WEBSITE!” – it just plays the videos I want to watch.  That’s it.  No downloads.  No waiting.  No rebooting.

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom FuellingI’m sure Fancast has a lot of good stuff on it, but enough with the “download this player” and “update your browser” and all that crap we have had to endure for the past 10 years.  You’ve made me feel outdated and behind-the-times for too long.  Now I realize it was all bullshit.

Now that Comcast owns Fancast AND Hulu (1/3 of it), it’s time to dump the one that sucks.

Sorry Fancast.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

White Male Disney Executives Embrace Women

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney Studios

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosApparently, Rich Ross has had an epiphany:  Women like movies.

According to the Los Angeles Times (and I’m paraphrasing/ reading between-the-lines), Rich Ross has told (male) literary agents at (male) literary agencies (who represent [male] literary writers), that (Walt) Disney Studios would like to produce more films that appeal to women.

It must have been one of those ‘flux capacitor’ moments for Rich Ross and got me wondering about how genius manifests itself.  I mean, thoughts this brilliant don’t just come along every day.

So in my own inferior mind, I began to wonder how the scene must have played out in Bob Iger’s office (or wherever it occurred) and believe it happened like this:

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosBob Iger, in sweaty shorts and a T-shirt is slamming racquetballs against the giant windows of his office (the one with the Seven Dwarfs outside). 

Intercom: Mr. Iger, your nephew, Richard Ross, is here to see you.

Bob Iger: He’s not my nephew.  Send him in.

Richard Ross enters.

Rich: Uncle Bob, I want to run something by you.

Bob: Rich, I’m not your uncle.

Rich: We can play it that way.  I’m hip to that.

Bob: What’s on your mind?

Rich: Women.

Bob: Really?  You?  Explain.

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney StudiosRich: I think we need to make movies that appeal to women.  Kagan recently did a study that came to the conclusion that women actually go to movies.  That they actually… enjoy movies.

Bob: You mean like Pirates of the Caribbean and Walt Disney’s A Christmas Carol?

Rich: I mean like Twilight and Sandra Bullock movies.

Bob: Jesus Christ.  What the fuck are you saying to me?

Rich: I’m saying we need to get together with some of the top male screenwriters and producers in Hollywood and come up with the next generation of “Twilights” and “Sandra Bullock” movies.  In order to survive, we need to tap more women.

Bob: Then do it.  You have my full support.

Rich: Thanks, Bob.

Bob: Uncle… Bob.

Rich smiles and leaves.

That may not have been exactly the way it played out – but the end result will be films manufactured by men that attempt to appeal to women that do nothing but turn women off.

My advice to DisneyPirates of the Caribbean 4.  Appeal to women when you have a good story to tell, not by turning a “John Travolta” script into a “Sandra Bullock” script.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Electus – R.I.P.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William FaulknerI realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure.  Sorry, Ben.

———————————————–
From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business.  875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs.  The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William FaulknerElectus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives:  “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus.  Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world!  No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls.  What a ride!  Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman:  “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben.  He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in VegasGoldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
———————————————————————————————————-

Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future:  The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television.  Sorry, Ben.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

It’s Time To Kill Melrose Place

Adam Kaufman, Allan Arkush, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Caprice Crane, Colin Egglesfield, Daniel Thomsen, Darren Star, Darren Swimmer, Davis Guggenheim, Dawn Ostroff, Episode 6 Shoreline, Ethan Erickson, Felicity, Fred Toye, Gossip Girl, Greg Beeman, Jason Olive, Jessica Lucas, Jill Kennedy, Joshua Levey, Katie Cassidy, Kelly Carlson, Khan Manka, Laura Leighton, Manka Bros., media blog, Melrose Place, Michael Rady, Nicholas Gonzalez, Norman Buckley, OnMedea, Patrick R. Norris, Roswell, Roxann Dawson, Shaun Sipos, Stephanie Jacobsen, The Beautiful Life: TBL, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, The WB, Thomas Calabro, Todd Slavkin, Victor Webster

Attention to Dawn Ostroff and all those concerned at The CW – it’s time.

Adam Kaufman, Allan Arkush, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Caprice Crane, Colin Egglesfield, Daniel Thomsen, Darren Star, Darren Swimmer, Davis Guggenheim, Dawn Ostroff, Episode 6 Shoreline, Ethan Erickson, Felicity, Fred Toye, Gossip Girl, Greg Beeman, Jason Olive, Jessica Lucas, Jill Kennedy, Joshua Levey, Katie Cassidy, Kelly Carlson, Khan Manka, Laura Leighton, Manka Bros., media blog, Melrose Place, Michael Rady, Nicholas Gonzalez, Norman Buckley, OnMedea, Patrick R. Norris, Roswell, Roxann Dawson, Shaun Sipos, Stephanie Jacobsen, The Beautiful Life: TBL, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, The WB, Thomas Calabro, Todd Slavkin, Victor WebsterIt was a valiant attempt to bring back the 1990s glory days of small network success, but it’s time – time to kill Melrose PlaceThe CW IS The WB and should be all about The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl.  That’s your sweet spot.  Melrose Place is too old.  Embrace the mental teenagers that you are!  Stop trying to move out of mommy and daddy’s house.  Let CBS get old and die. The CW is forever young.  Their characters don’t pay bills and rent apartments.  But I digress…

Last night’s episode, Episode 6 “Shoreline” received a 1.0/2 rating.  That’s not A18-49 – THAT’S TOTAL HHs.  It’s over.  Air repeats of Roswell or Felicity.  Show Color Bars.  Show anything.  But stop showing Melrose Place.  It’s not easy to get that small of an audience.  A show really has to work hard at NOT connecting with viewers to get that low of a rating.

You pulled the trigger at the right time on The Beautiful Life:TBL, it’s time for the characters of Melrose Place to strap on the mini-dresses, stick their feet in cement and jump into the pool.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Southland Canceled – Ben Silverman Strikes Again

America's Got Talent, Angela Amato, Angela Bromstad, Ann Biderman, Ari Emanuel, Arija Bareikis, Ben McKenzie, Ben Silverman, C. Thomas Howell, Dee Johnson, Dick Wolf, Emily Bergl, Heather Zuhlke, Heroes, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, John Ferriter, John Wells, Kevin Alejandro, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mercy, Michael Cudlitz, Michael McGrady, NBC Universal, Paul Telegdy, Regina King, Shawn Hatosy, Southland, Southland canceled, Susan Boyle, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, The Jay Leno Show, Tom Everett Scott, Trauma, Warner Bros. TelevisionFrom the executive grave, Ben Silverman has struck again.  Southland, the once promising (for one episode) gritty cop show has been canceled (before its season premiere!).

Another day – another failed show.  NBC is in big troubleMercy, Trauma, Heroes – all cancellations to come.

NBC had better start super-sizing episodes of The Office ASAP.

Also, maybe think about putting together a few hours of The Biggest Loser Outtakes.  Are there any extra Law & Orders laying around?  Somebody should get Dick Wolf on the phone.  That might work for a week or two.

Hey, America’s (Still) Got Talent – get the cameras rolling!  Or just show re-runs of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent.  How about that sand artist from Ukraine’s Got Talent?  Something is bound to work.  Right?

Thank God The Jay Leno Show only needs a 1.5 rating to make $300 million!

This has been an extremely challenging year for NBC so far – and it’s only October 8th.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Ben Silverman’s New Company?

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor KaufmanOK, Ben.

It’s been nearly three months since you announced you were leaving NBC to start a new company that will “capitalize on the ever-evolving world of multimedia production and distribution.”   We’re still waiting.

Who knows?  Maybe you actually did stay at NBC to help launch the new season (or whatever) like you claimed you were going to do.

If you stayed, most likely you left the morning after The Jay Leno Show premiered so that you could tell people that it was a hit while you were there.

[Note: Latest ratings for The Jay Leno Show (10/5/09): 2.9/5 – but, according to John Ferriter, it only needs a 1.5 to make NBC Universal $300 million!]

I know it must be difficult to be a cutting-edge wunderkind and I’m not trying to rush you – but it’s time to announce your new venture.

I’m sure Barry Diller can’t wait to hear about it either.  He’s got $100 million riding on your genius.

Don’t worry, Ben Vegas will still be there after you launch your company.  And… don’t forget… hot chicks dig launch parties.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBased on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009:  4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal.  They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K?  What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW.  If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs.  However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno.  We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”.  So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle.  They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank?  I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below).  Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like:  “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing?  Throwing Off Any Cash?”

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThis would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED.  It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share.  Ask The Food Network about their profits?  I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine.  And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share?  It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back.  Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with JayJay is about movie stars and pop icons.  Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay.  You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies.  Big fan.  She’s just F-ed by example.