UPDATE: Jeff Zucker Still Has A Job

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Are You Stupid?, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, NBC Olympic Coverage, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Sven Kramer, TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, USA vs. Canada, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThe Billion Dollar Question is – WHY?

If I were to talk directly to Jeff Zucker’s current boss (Jeffrey Immelt) and future boss (Brian Roberts), I would quote my new hero, Dutch speed skater Sven Kramer, and say “Are you stoopid?”

Even if we all could forget about the recent mistakes that have been made under Jeff Zucker’s watch

  • Lowest rated network
  • Jay/Conan debacle
  • Hiring Ben Silverman for… anything
  • The absolutely horrendous Olympic coverage which not only sucks but will LOSE millions of dollars.  (The latest horrible decision was to air the TAPE-DELAYED 2-man Bobsled coverage on NBC over one of the best LIVE Olympic hockey games in years – USA vs. Canada.  I’m sure JZ would say it was a brilliant move on his part to force people to find MSNBC on their televisions.)

… at this point, it’s a matter of credibility.  And he has none.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Are You Stupid?, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, NBC Olympic Coverage, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Sven Kramer, TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, USA vs. Canada, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorImagine Jeff Zucker standing in front of a group of Wall Street investor analysts with his PowerPoint slides and telling them “This is the future of television…”  “This is the direction Comcast/NBC needs to go…” “Here are my ideas on how to turn things around…” etc.

Seriously, who the hell would believe he has the answers?  And why does he even get the chance to give the answers.  NBC was once great.  All the missteps really started to snowball AFTER he become Chairman & CEO.  He is into his fourth year and has thus far proven nothing to nobody.

Basta.  Enough.

However, in an effort to make my entries a little more positive, I’m going to attempt to end them all on an upbeat note.  So… that said… I do like the bulky ski resort sweaters Jeff Zucker has been wearing as he talks up NBC’s suck ass Olympic coverage on CNBC.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Can Elin Woods Learn From Conan O’Brien?

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmberg, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, Elin Nordegren, Elin Woods, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Heidi Montag, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Josefin Lonnborg, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Mark Steinberg, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Rory Sabbatini, Sharon Waxman, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, The Hills, thewrap.com, Thomas Nordegren, Tiger Woods, Tony DiSanto, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmberg, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, Elin Nordegren, Elin Woods, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Heidi Montag, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Josefin Lonnborg, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Mark Steinberg, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Rory Sabbatini, Sharon Waxman, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, The Hills, thewrap.com, Thomas Nordegren, Tiger Woods, Tony DiSanto, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorAs Tiger Woods slowly reemerges from hiding and Team-Tiger Damage Control goes full throttle, there is an interesting parallel to be made between the Tiger/Elin Woods drama and the NBC/Conan O’Brien drama (which cost all of us a few months out of our lives).

Imagine Conan and Elin on one side and Tiger, Jay Leno, Jeff Zucker and NBC and on the other.

The parallel begins with a couple of a wide-eyed youths – dreaming of the big time.

  • Elin: Is a nanny for a Swedish golf pro and hangs around a lot of single golfers on tour but really only imagines herself with one man… the crown jewel of golfers… Tiger Woods.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmberg, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, Elin Nordegren, Elin Woods, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Heidi Montag, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Josefin Lonnborg, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Mark Steinberg, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Rory Sabbatini, Sharon Waxman, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, The Hills, thewrap.com, Thomas Nordegren, Tiger Woods, Tony DiSanto, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor———————————————————————–

  • Conan: Finally gets “The Tonight Show” in 2009 after slumming it for 16 years at 12:35am.
  • Elin: Finally gets a marriage proposal in 2004 from Tiger Woods after slumming it as a nanny for Jesper Parnevik’s kids.

———————————————————————–

  • Conan: Jay Leno retires from “The Tonight Show” and prepares to launch an ill-conceived prime time talk show – “The Jay Leno Show”Conan, believing NBC’s promise, happily takes over the reigns of “The Tonight Show” and looks forward to a long and prosperous run as host.
  • Elin:  Tiger Woods retires from his crazy single days and prepares for an ill-conceived life of domestic bliss.  Elin, believing Tiger, happily sets up a life of wealth and prosperity (and has two children to complete the ideal picture).

———————————————————————–

  • Elin:  Tiger Woods crashes a Cadillac Escalade into a tree after Elin Woods decides to move a few of his teeth from the front to the back of his mouth with a 7 iron.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmberg, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, Elin Nordegren, Elin Woods, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Heidi Montag, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Josefin Lonnborg, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Mark Steinberg, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Rory Sabbatini, Sharon Waxman, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, The Hills, thewrap.com, Thomas Nordegren, Tiger Woods, Tony DiSanto, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor————————————————————————

  • Conan: Begins to feel humiliated by rumors of Jay Leno returning to late night.
  • Elin: Begins to feel humiliated by rumors of Tiger Woods having 11 mistresses (6 of them ‘serious’).

————————————————————————

  • Elin: Rather than take the suck ass deal offered, Elin decides to hold out for $800 million!  Take that suckers.

———————————————————-
As for the future?  Here’s my guess:

  • Conan: Having finalized the divorce from NBC, agrees to a deal with TBS.
  • Elin: After finalizing the divorce from Tiger, agrees to go on a disastrous first date with Rory Sabbatini (or some other less successful golfer that wishes he was Tiger Woods).  She breaks her promise not to talk about Tiger’s affairs and loses everything.  The book doesn’t sell and she moves in with John Daly.

————————————————————–

Dear Elin:

Conan couldn’t in good conscious stay at NBC (even though his dream life went up in flames) and you can’t stay with Tiger (even though your dream life has gone up in flames).  Take the money and run to that house in Sweden.  You will have a better future.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

“Hesher” Has 22 Producers

At the upcoming Super Bowl in Miami, 22 players are absolutely necessary to play the game.  Apparently, 22 producers are absolutely necessary to make “Hesher” – an independent film premiering at the Sundance Film Festival (and just picked up for distribution by Newmarket) starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Natalie Portman.

There’s a fixed joke in Hollywood that you can’t throw a rock without hitting a screenwriter.  It seems, for those of us inclined to throw rocks, you can’t throw a rock at Sundance without hitting an independent film producer.

What happens if, by some chance, “Hesher” gets nominated for an Academy Award next year.  Only three producers are allowed on the ballot and actually receive the award.  What happens to the other 19 and what is the process for weeding it down to three?  Wouldn’t that be a great reality show?

And “Hesher” is not an isolated case.  It appears to be a trend.

Here are three films that were at the Sundance Film Festival and the number of Producers that were necessary to produce them.

22 Producers, Aaron Dowing, Aleen Keshishian, Andrew Sawyer, Anne O'Shea, Annette Bening, Annette Savitch, Ari Ackerman, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Celine Rattray, Christy Cashman, Daniela Taplin Lundberg, Galt Niederhoffer, Gary Gilbert, Gina Kirkpatrick, Happy Walters, Hesher, J. Todd Harris, Jay Franks, Jay Rifkin, Jeff Davis, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Jennifer Todd, Jill Kennedy, Johnny Lin, Jonathan Weisgal, Jordan Horowitz, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Josh Duhamel, Julianne Moore, Katie Holmes, Khan Manka, Lucy Cooper, Manka Bros., Mark Ruffalo, Matthew Weaver, Michael Benaroya, Natalie Portman, Neil Katz, Newmarket, OnMedea, Pamela Hirsch, producer's credit, Ravi Nandan, Riva Marker, Rob Ortiz, Ron Stein, Scot Armstrong, Scott Kluge, Scott Prisand, Spencer Susser, Steven Saxton, Sundance Film Festival, Super Bowl 44, Suzanne Todd, Taylor Kephart, Terry Semel, The Kids Are All Right, The Romantics, Wayne Chang, Win SheridanHesher (22 Producers – including “Executive” and “Co”-Producers)

  • Lucy Cooper
  • Matthew Weaver
  • Scott Prisand
  • Natalie Portman
  • Spencer Susser
  • Johnny Lin
  • Win Sheridan
  • Jonathan Weisgal
  • Wayne Chang
  • Aleen Keshishian
  • Annette Savitch
  • Scot Armstrong
  • Ravi Nandan
  • Aaron Dowing
  • Rob Ortiz
  • Scott Kluge
  • Jeff Davis
  • Jay Rifkin
  • Ari Ackerman
  • Jay Franks
  • Happy Walters
  • Gina Kirkpatrick

 

22 Producers, Aaron Dowing, Aleen Keshishian, Andrew Sawyer, Anne O'Shea, Annette Bening, Annette Savitch, Ari Ackerman, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Celine Rattray, Christy Cashman, Daniela Taplin Lundberg, Galt Niederhoffer, Gary Gilbert, Gina Kirkpatrick, Happy Walters, Hesher, J. Todd Harris, Jay Franks, Jay Rifkin, Jeff Davis, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Jennifer Todd, Jill Kennedy, Johnny Lin, Jonathan Weisgal, Jordan Horowitz, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Josh Duhamel, Julianne Moore, Katie Holmes, Khan Manka, Lucy Cooper, Manka Bros., Mark Ruffalo, Matthew Weaver, Michael Benaroya, Natalie Portman, Neil Katz, Newmarket, OnMedea, Pamela Hirsch, producer's credit, Ravi Nandan, Riva Marker, Rob Ortiz, Ron Stein, Scot Armstrong, Scott Kluge, Scott Prisand, Spencer Susser, Steven Saxton, Sundance Film Festival, Super Bowl 44, Suzanne Todd, Taylor Kephart, Terry Semel, The Kids Are All Right, The Romantics, Wayne Chang, Win SheridanThe Kids Are All Right (starring Julianne Moore, Annette Bening and Mark Ruffalo – 13 Producers)

  • Gary Gilbert
  • Jeffrey Levy-Hinte
  • Celine Rattray
  • Jordan Horowitz
  • Daniela Taplin Lundberg
  • Steven Saxton
  • Ron Stein
  • Christy Cashman
  • Anne O’Shea
  • Riva Marker
  • Andrew Sawyer
  • Neil Katz
  • J. Todd Harris

 

22 Producers, Aaron Dowing, Aleen Keshishian, Andrew Sawyer, Anne O'Shea, Annette Bening, Annette Savitch, Ari Ackerman, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Celine Rattray, Christy Cashman, Daniela Taplin Lundberg, Galt Niederhoffer, Gary Gilbert, Gina Kirkpatrick, Happy Walters, Hesher, J. Todd Harris, Jay Franks, Jay Rifkin, Jeff Davis, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Jennifer Todd, Jill Kennedy, Johnny Lin, Jonathan Weisgal, Jordan Horowitz, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Josh Duhamel, Julianne Moore, Katie Holmes, Khan Manka, Lucy Cooper, Manka Bros., Mark Ruffalo, Matthew Weaver, Michael Benaroya, Natalie Portman, Neil Katz, Newmarket, OnMedea, Pamela Hirsch, producer's credit, Ravi Nandan, Riva Marker, Rob Ortiz, Ron Stein, Scot Armstrong, Scott Kluge, Scott Prisand, Spencer Susser, Steven Saxton, Sundance Film Festival, Super Bowl 44, Suzanne Todd, Taylor Kephart, Terry Semel, The Kids Are All Right, The Romantics, Wayne Chang, Win SheridanThe Romantics (starring Katie Holmes and Josh Duhamel – 11 Producers)

  • Daniela Taplin Lundberg
  • Jennifer Todd
  • Suzanne Todd
  • Michael Benaroya
  • Taylor Kephart
  • Galt Niederhoffer
  • Katie Holmes
  • Riva Marker
  • Celine Rattray
  • Pamela Hirsch
  • Ron Stein

 

Look, I’m sure all these people played a vital role in their respective films’ journey to the screen… or not (only those on the production really know what’s going on here).  But a Producer credit used to be highly-coveted and very difficult to get – in most cases after years of paying dues and working up the cinematic ladder.

Today, it seems, the credit is handed out like film festival swag.  Now, when I meet someone who says they are a producer on an independent film, I am inclined to say “Oh, really, what, did you deliver the food?”

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

CBS Films – R.I.P.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. Cohen
CBS Films - R.I.P.

I’m actually surprised there isn’t more inside media coverage of the disastrous debut of CBS Films’ first release – Extraordinary Measures starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser ($6.0 Million opening weekend from over 2,500 theaters – finishing 8th behind “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel” in its 5th week).

I realize the Jay/Dave/Conan/Jeff Zucker drama is a much sexier story but CBS Films’ failure is another example of the cocksure executive that believes he can do no wrong.

Les Moonves, former bit player on “The Six Million Dollar Man” turned powerful CBS media mogul, is the exec on the hot seat this time.  (Personally, I can imagine Jeff Zucker pushing this story just to get his name out of the press.)

Four years ago, when Sumner Redstone was completing the disastrous Viacom / CBS split, Mr. Moonves wanted Paramount Pictures so badly that when he didn’t get it, he decided he could create a new Paramount Pictures from scratch – CBS Films.

It’s a cold Monday morning at Black Rock today.

I’m assuming there will be two maybe three more failed releases in 2010 and then a decision to “refocus CBS’ energies on our booming cable network distribution platforms and new media” (translation: the end of CBS Films).

The R.I.P. tombstone above is generous in giving CBS Films a four year lifespan (2007-2010) considering the first release wasn’t until this past weekend – but I think three years of staffing up and development does count as being in business.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenAnother possibility for CBS would be to acquire Summit Entertainment. At least then they would have two guaranteed hits in the pipeline – the final two “Twilight” movies.

Or… my personal dream plan, somehow have CBS either acquire or wrest away Paramount from ViacomNews Corporation buys the cable channels from Viacom (assets they sorely need).  Viacom shuts down thus getting us one step closer to saying bye-bye to Sumner Redstone forever.

Regardless of what happens, CBS’ old media experiment is not going to make it.  But Les Moonves can take solace in the fact that a very exciting Super Bowl is coming to CBS and he still runs one of the top two broadcast networks in the country.

There was a time when that would have been enough for one man.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong – Part 2

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, bank regulations, Benjamin Swinburne, Bloomberg, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Lynn Tomasson, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, President Obama, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Scott Brown, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!People really need to stop listening to this woman.  I said it back in November when she made her crazy comments then, and I say it now.

Even though I know she would love to take credit for the Wall Street panic this week, nothing could be further from the truth.

If you look at the news out of China and threats against future bank profits by the President of the United States (which she could have in no way predicted), it’s not difficult to see why so many people would feel jittery and want to sell off a few questionable stocks.

And then, today, Ms. Whitney throws gasoline onto the fire by saying President Obama’s proposed banking regulations will probably become law and “dramatically” reduce bank profits.

What?  What shit is Meredith Whitney smoking to think that this bill will pass?  I can even imagine President Obama and Paul Volcker secretly saying – ‘We’ll take a tough stand on the banks, but no way in hell does this pass.’

She even has the temerity to say this AFTER the Massachusetts Senatorial election this week.  What’s going on here?

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, bank regulations, Benjamin Swinburne, Bloomberg, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Lynn Tomasson, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, President Obama, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Scott Brown, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!First of all, there is no chance this bill gets to the Congress before the mid-term elections in November and (thanks to the Supreme Court decision yesterday) with all the new money that corporations (including big banks) can spend on candidates, I suspect there will be a different make-up of the House and Senate by the time this bill does come up for a vote.  And it will, most likely, be defeated – or watered down to a point that it really has no effect.

So, what is the point of Meredith Whitney speaking out with such bravado about how bad things are?  Perhaps she is shorting everything in her portfolio and has discovered that she can move the markets with her statements.  Perhaps she’s just a downer of a person and needs some joy in her life.

I don’t know – but it disturbs me whenever she talks.

Personally, I think President Obama was wrong to come out with such a strong statement against banks on the day Goldman Sachs reported such strong earnings.  I think, in general, negativity about the economy should be released only in the Summer when people aren’t so gloomy and can handle bad news better.

Obviously, that can’t happen.  And we shouldn’t “put lipstick on a pig”, as they say, if things are getting worse out there.

I just don’t believe things are getting worse.  I don’t believe Meredith Whitney thinks things are getting worse, but, for whatever reason, she wants you to believe they are.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

CBS Films’ Big Test

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenCBS Films – that scrappy upstart with the name that screams ‘OLD MEDIA’ (“Films”, really?  Can you even buy film stock anymore?  The world is going digital, CBS) – hits the ground running today with its first release, “Extraordinary Measures” starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenMost start-up production companies don’t have Harrison Ford in their first movie.  Most start-up production companies have the guy or girl that’s holding the boom pole also act in a major role and provide their own food and wardrobe.  But most start-up production companies aren’t called “CBS FILMS”.

Why is there a CBS Films?  It seems that Viacom (before Sumner Redstone’s idiotic decision to split the company in half – thus creating this problem in the first place) has a very nice movie production company called Paramount Pictures.  They also made a couple of Harrison Ford movies.  I remember he played a guy named Indiana Jones for them.

You see, I think it’s ridiculous CBS Films had to be formed.  It’s not going to last (sorry, Les).  New movie companies just don’t make it – even backed by a large media company like CBS.  Yes, go ahead and scream all you want about Summit Entertainment and their success – but after they release two more teen-angst vampire movies – they’re done.

I understand Les Moonves’ desire to run a completely vertical entertainment conglomerate.  But it’s no longer 1995.  The media landscape has changed.  The glorious gatekeeper days are over.   Ask Harvey Weinstein how hard it is to build an empire from scratch (but you may have to buy him lunch to ask that question.  Dude is totally broke).

Look, I work for The World’s Largest Media CompanyManka Bros. – and they have five movie labels and all of them suck.  Sorry, Khan (my boss, Khan Manka, Jr.).  And they’ve been doing it for 90 years.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenEven though “Extraordinary Measures” looks like the kind of movie that would give me a really good cry on a Saturday night at home – WHILE WATCHING THE HALLMARK CHANNEL – I’m sort of rooting against this one to succeed.

You see, I want CBS to buy (or wrest away) Paramount Pictures from Viacom and then immediately close CBS Films.  I want News Corporation to buy all the cable channels and other assets from Viacom.

Then I want Viacom and Sumner Redstone to go away… forever.  (I realize Sumner will still be Chairman of CBS – but Chairman can be overthrown – ask Steve Case – even if it’s an old coot that’s never going to die.)

So, good luck CBS Films.  It’s a tall mountain to climb.  I’m thinking “Extraordinary Measures” will pull down between $10-15 million this weekend.  Whether that is good enough to call the first release a success… we’ll just have to find out.  Less than $10 million and there will be quite a few worried CBS Films execs on Monday morning.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Letterman vs. Leno

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThe Conan exit deal is done – probably the largest payout in television history for someone averaging a 2.5 rating.

It is presumed he will go to Fox and get a 2.0 rating at 11:00 (my guess is reruns of The Simpsons on local affiliates do better than that).

So, with apologies to Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, George Lopez, Charlie Rose, etc., it comes down, once again, to Letterman vs. Leno.

Who will win the ratings battle (long-term) once they resume head-to-head competition March 1, 2010?

It’s very simple:
Jay Leno wins – without a doubt.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorHere’s why:

DEMOGRAPHICS: Late night talk show viewers are not the Taco-Bell-eating slacker college students that most of these hosts think they’re ‘in touch with’.  That demo is watching The Daily Show, Colbert, Adult Swim or they’re online or playing video games (maybe they’re not consuming any media and are out pounding drinks and, God willing, conversing with the opposite sex).  So, older viewers are watching Jay and Dave – and older viewers prefer Jay.  It’s warm and safe television with Headlines and JaywalkingDave is ‘too edgy’ for older America, even in his advanced years.

VACATION: Jay is notorious for working 46-48 weeks a year.  Dave works… less than that.  Even if Dave wins the first few weeks after Jay returns in March (as expected), Jay will pick up viewers once Dave goes on his first long vacation.

WORK ETHIC: While I am not doubting that Dave works very hard to put on his show four nights a week, Jay is indefatigable.  He always seems to be out with the public, doing stand-up, corporate events, car shows… almost anything the network asks him to do.  Jay has a high visibility factor that Dave… doesn’t have.  (Not that you need that to succeed – Johnny Carson was a painfully shy recluse and did just fine.)  However, when you’re trying to win back the hearts and minds of your viewers, being visible with “your public” can go a long way.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, Brian Roberts, CBS, Charlie Rose, Comcast, Conan O'Brien, CSI: NY, David Letterman, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, GE shareholder, George Lopez, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Gaspin, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Ferriter, Jon Stewart, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Marc Graboff, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stephen Colbert, Stop all the clocks..., TCA Winter Press Tour, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorHISTORY: Jay Leno has been a consistent ratings winner for 17 years.  Yes, bad press and public sentiment has damaged that but most of Jay’s fans could care less about ‘The Tonight Show’ debacle (though, I think everyone would love to see Jeff Zucker get fired).

Finally, Jay spent 20 years in comedy clubs across the country before getting ‘The Tonight Show’ and he cut his teeth in that ruthless, back-stabbing world.  If he survived the shit that went on in those clubs, he can survive almost anything.

Dave did quite a bit of stand-up in the 1970s, yes, but never really immersed himself into that world.  Being a great comic was not on his radar.  He has always been perceived (as he wished) as a TV guy.

Jay is a comic first and a TV guy next – which is why his fans keep watching – they simply want to hear jokes on ‘The Tonight Show’ told by a comic and not just a “funny person” doing bits.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Where were all these new Conan fans when he really needed them – over the summer when he started hosting The Tonight Show?  If he had the ratings then that he has now – there is no controversy.  Jay would be out and Conan would be in.

The Human Target – Internet Advertising Gone Wrong

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

A couple of moments ago, I went to AOL.com to see what fresh content they had put up today and was greeted with a heartbreaking headline about four missing American college students in Haiti who were on a humanitarian mission when the earthquake struck last week.

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

Then, just as I was going to click-through to read about the parents’ anguished search for their children… The Human Target – Premiering On Fox – burst through the story headline with digital flames and bullet holes.

Allison Warren, AOL, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Brad Kern, Chi McBride, DC Comics, Fox Broadcasting, Grace Gilroy, inappropriate online advertising, Jackie Earle Haley, Jay Leno, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jonathan Steinberg, Kevin Hooks, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mark Valley, Matthew Federman, McG, Mike Desabrais, missing college students in Haiti, OnMedea, Peter Johnson, Simon West, Stephen Scaia, Terry Semel, The Human Target, Tim Armstrong

Call me crazy, and I realize it’s hard to pick and chose which stories get the full animated advertising treatment, but this seems a little inappropriate to me.

Can’t The Human Target just burst through Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker stories?

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea