World’s Largest Media Company – Page 4

November 15, 2010August 10, 2011

TBS – Go Get Your Shinebox

What is it going to take for TBS (or any other Basic Cable channel) to get a little respect?

I watched the premiere week of Conan and thought it was fine and exactly what I expected (which is a slight disappointment, right?). (Also, why was it on at 10pm on DirecTV when every advertisement in the world says 11pm?… but I digress.)

The one thing that did stand out was the constant bashing of TBS and Basic Cable in general (I know it is a joke, I get it – I also got it in 1985 when the Basic Cable jokes started). But times have changed.

I was a proponent of Conan leaving NBC and for Jeff Zucker to be fired for many MANY reasons (including the handling of the Jay/Conan affair and for having anything to do with Ben Silverman. Please, someone wash everything Ben touched, it’s filthy!).

But, I must say, I’m disappointed with the way Conan has handled the transition to TBS. It was a very difficult decision, I’m sure, but why bash your new home?

Why is Basic Cable still struggling for any sort of respect?

It’s all very reminiscent of the scene from “Goodfellas” with Billy Batts (Frank Vincent) and Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) in the bar. Imagine Billy Batts is the “Broadcast Networks” and Tommy DeVito is “Basic Cable”:

Basic Cable: No more shines, Broadcast Networks.

Broadcast Networks: What?

Basic Cable: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. I don’t shine shoes anymore.

Broadcast Networks: Relax, will ya? Ya flip out, what’s got into you? I’m breaking your balls a little bit, that’s all. I’m only kidding with ya…

Basic Cable: Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…

Broadcast Networks: I’m only kidding with you. I’m breaking your balls, and you’re getting fucking fresh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

Basic Cable: I’m sorry, too. It’s okay. No problem.

Broadcast Networks: Now go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox!

Basic Cable: Mother fuckin’ mutt! You fucking piece of shit!

If you remember the movie, Tommy then kicked and stabbed Billy about a thousand times, threw him in the trunk of his car and buried him in some disgusting pit. I’m not saying Basic Cable will completely bury the Broadcast Networks – but it seems to be headed that general direction – so Broadcast Networks had better cut it out with the “shinebox attitude”.

And seriously, to watch Conan, you would think the year is 1985 and the only programming on TBS was really bad VHS copies of really bad 1970s movies and a few Body By Jake infommercials.

This is 2010 and Basic Cable Channels are a key driver and profit center helping to keep the Hollywood machine afloat.

So how about a little respect, Conan? I know you’re only getting $10 million from that suckass TBS that gives you “no budget” (other than a very large one) but come on!

And are you taping this show from some local station in Palmdale or in a very nice soundstage on a very nice Burbank studio lot? And do you have one blimp to promote your show or zero blimps?

And the last I checked, Mad Men on AMC (Basic Cable) won the Emmy for Best Drama; TBS just paid upwards of $2 million/episode for Big Bang Theory (among others); and the ACE Awards (which was a popular punchline for comedians about FIFTEEN YEARS AGO) haven’t been on the air for FIFTEEN YEARS!

I would also argue that with its scripted reruns and movies, TBS and the other top Basic Cable Channels have better daytime programming than any of the Broadcast Station Groups (unless you like Judge shows) and the primetime lineups are equally as creative and catching up in the ratings.

In fact, Broadcast Networks are deep into the 5 Stages of Grief from “On Death and Dying” – and they have been in denial about Basic Cable for years. Retrans is one final pathetic attempt to stay competitive.

So, Conan, I’m sorry you are stuck on lowly TBS when all your life you dreamed of being on NBC (now worth negative $690 million on NBC Universal’s balance sheet) – but the truth is, in today’s media environment, it’s not which channel you are on but the programming you produce.

Remember, even a show shot in a shack in Palmdale can be relevant (and widely seen) today.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why doesn’t anyone ever bash MTV for being “Basic Cable”? Just wondering.

October 7, 2010April 11, 2011

Disney Junior – EUREKA!

So, it was announced today that Playhouse Disney will become Disney Junior. The folks at Disney Corporate must have put in quite a bit of overtime on that one.

It’s a stroke of brilliance really – just as I thought it was brilliant when Viacom changed Noggin to Nick Jr. last year!

Bravo to Disney’s Brand Consultants who, most likely, put in extremely long hours and probably weren’t cheap.

I can imagine conference calls, late night food deliveries and logo designs on several other names like Disney Tots, Disney Ragamuffins, ToddlerDisney, Disney 2-7 (or ‘The D27!’)… before finally reaching the stroke of genius that is Disney Junior.

And I’m sure it was a tense few days before Bob Iger finally signed off on it. During the presentation, he probably said things like “Disney Junior? Really? Isn’t Junior a term for boys? Nickelodeon did it? OK, go ahead.” And that was that. Disney Junior will launch in 2012!

Being a parent of a five year old, I am not cynical about children’s programming and appreciate the big media companies producing so much content that distracts my child long enough so I can take a five minute break to go to the bathroom (including my own parent company Manka Bros. and our Manka Kids brand – Manka Junior anyone?).

I just think with all the millions of dollars being thrown around at media companies on Brand Management, it’s nice to know that all anyone needs to do to brand something for toddlers it to put the word “Junior” behind it. Clorox Junior, Coke Junior (with 40% less sugar), 1976 Chateau Lafite Rothschild Junior (for French children)…

Maybe I’ll launch OnMedea Junior for toddlers who want to read scandalous corporate media stories about “Dora the Explorer”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 13, 2010April 4, 2011

The Woman Of Sun Valley

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Being a member of the fringe press, I have no idea how many people attended the Herb Allen Sun Valley Retreat last week and I certainly don’t know a complete gender breakdown – but from everything I’ve seen in the press (including from the blogs written by my mogul boss, Khan Manka, Jr., from inside the event), there were very very very few women represented.

By my count, there were three (and two were from Xerox – Ursula Burns and Anne Mulcahy [retired]) and only one, Sheryl Sandberg got any sort of attention at all.

And, no, mogul wives don’t count.

[If Allen & Co. can please email me an invited guest list, I’ll be happy to post an update with other names.]

Yes, Facebook is the hot company of the moment with a giant spotlight on senior management, but (and we all know this is a Hollywood / New York / Silicon Valley problem and not a Herb Allen problem) this was a pretty pathetic effort no matter the situation.

This is not to slight the accomplishments of Sheryl Sandberg. I have a great admiration for her (even though I think she’s on a sinking ship).

“The Women In Technology” panel (moderated by Tom Brokaw) must have been fascinating. Perhaps it was set up as a way to inform the white male moguls that there are ‘Women in Technology’. Who knew?

Here’s hoping that next year I can report on “The WOMEN of Sun Valley”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

June 30, 2010April 4, 2011

10 Slideshows You Must See RIGHT NOW!

OK, online media publishers – enough with the freakin’ slideshows! They’re nothing but a waste of time to those who click through all those pages of The World’s Top 10 Shellfish and the Best Tasting Fruits You’ve Never Tasted. What’s the real reason for these time suckages? Page views and ad impressions – the life force of online media (yes, I admit, my humble blog also depends on these metrics). And what’s the best way to rack up page views and ad impressions? Slideshows with one image and, on average, three ads per page. Multiply that by the Top 50 Female Insurance Industry Executives – and you get the idea.

But you didn’t come to this page for my rant against Slideshows – you came to see 10 SLIDESHOWS YOU MUST SEE RIGHT NOW! Let’s get to it! (Note: I have mercifully avoided the obvious and did not put this in Slideshow format.)

10 Unbelievable, Unlikely Animal Friendships

What Booze Looks Like Under A Microscope

May 6, 2010April 6, 2011

Meredith Whitney Predicted The Glitch!

While today was an insane day on Wall Street with no one seeming to know anything about why there was so much volatility (Crisis in Greece, Banking Reform, etc.), there was one person who knew all along what would happen. If we would have just listened to her years ago, all of today’s anxiety could have been prevented.

That person? Meredith Whitney.

The brilliant Nostrodamus of Wall Street knew years ago this would happen (as evidenced by the dated quote on today’s stock chart).

Now, I’ve been pretty tough on Ms. Whitney over the past few months (i.e., here and here) – but this is undeniable proof that she really does know what she’s talking about and we’re all idiots for doubting her.

From now on, whatever she says – no matter how ridiculous -should be writ in stone.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

April 16, 2010October 10, 2017

Bob Iger Finishes Off The Weinstein Brothers

Alan Braverman, Andrew Mooney, Andy Bird, Anne Sweeney, Aylwin Lewis, Bob Iger, Bob Weinstein, Brent Woodford, Christine McCarthy, Fred Langhammer, George Bodenheimer, Harvey Weinstein, Jay Rasulo, Jayne Parker, John Bryson, John Chen, John Pepper, Jr., Judith Estrin, Kevin Mayer, Khan Manka, Lee Solomon, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Miramax, Monica Lozano, Orin Smith, Preston Padden, Rich Ross, Robert Matschullat, Ron Burkle, Ronald Iden, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Steve Wadsworth, Susan Arnold, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Staggs, Tina Brown, Walter Liss, World's Largest Media Company, Zenia Mucha

By selling Miramax back to the Weinstein Brothers (that would be Harvey and Bob) and (ahem) Lord Ron Burkle (he who has single-handedly created thousands of jobs in the prostitution and supermarket industries), Disney Chief Bob Iger has effectively given the coup de grace to Harvey and Bob thus ending their 30+ year run in show business.

But, you say, they’ll be running Miramax, picking up awesome Kevin Smith and Ben Affleck movies that the big studios don’t want to make?

Right?

They’re still in the business.

Sorry. Miramax will out of business in five years.

In 2013, a fire sale of the library will be hastily arranged by GoldmanSachsBankOfAmericaJPMorganCiti (a division of Lending Tree) and the price will be less that $200 million.

I suppose the deal allows the total prick and predator Harvey and his brother Bob the chance to die with dignity and go down in flames with the company they started (the name combines their parent’s first names “Miriam” and “Max”) – but I think a real friend (which obviously Bob Iger isn’t) would have said to stay far away from this horribly overpriced mess of fragmented film rights that have very little resale / remake value left in them.

I suppose that’s why Bob Iger is the current toast of the town and Harvey and Bob are just toast. (Texas Toast if you believe this blog.) Karma’s a bitch.

If the new post-Disney Miramax is run as efficiently as The Weinstein Company, Ron Burkle’s $3.5 billion net worth should be exhausted within 10 or 15 years (though I’m sure he’ll pull the plug once $1 billion is gone and save the rest to solve the growing hooker unemployment problem that has ravaged this country.

(At this point, Ron could probably just trade sex for food – which he probably could arrange to get from his former Ralph’s and Food4Less stores. I would hope he would offer food from Ralph’s so the poor girls don’t have to bag their own groceries at Food4Less).

But enough about Ron Burkle’s (alleged) shenanigans mentioned above, this is about Harvey and Bob – two guys who changed the film distribution industry by taking on the big guys with small movies (and many times winning). But the greedy, creepy bastards sold off the dream for $80 million to Disney and now, the even greedier bastards, want it back for $600 million.

The classic example of throwing good money (well, Ron Burkle’s money) after bad.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 22, 2010February 22, 2012

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong – Part 2

People really need to stop listening to this woman. I said it back in November when she made her crazy comments then, and I say it now.

Even though I know she would love to take credit for the Wall Street panic this week, nothing could be further from the truth.

If you look at the news out of China and threats against future bank profits by the President of the United States (which she could have in no way predicted), it’s not difficult to see why so many people would feel jittery and want to sell off a few questionable stocks.

And then, today, Ms. Whitney throws gasoline onto the fire by saying President Obama’s proposed banking regulations will probably become law and “dramatically” reduce bank profits.

What? What shit is Meredith Whitney smoking to think that this bill will pass? I can even imagine President Obama and Paul Volcker secretly saying – ‘We’ll take a tough stand on the banks, but no way in hell does this pass.’

She even has the temerity to say this AFTER the Massachusetts Senatorial election this week. What’s going on here?

First of all, there is no chance this bill gets to the Congress before the mid-term elections in November and (thanks to the Supreme Court decision yesterday) with all the new money that corporations (including big banks) can spend on candidates, I suspect there will be a different make-up of the House and Senate by the time this bill does come up for a vote. And it will, most likely, be defeated – or watered down to a point that it really has no effect.

So, what is the point of Meredith Whitney speaking out with such bravado about how bad things are? Perhaps she is shorting everything in her portfolio and has discovered that she can move the markets with her statements. Perhaps she’s just a downer of a person and needs some joy in her life.

I don’t know – but it disturbs me whenever she talks.

Personally, I think President Obama was wrong to come out with such a strong statement against banks on the day Goldman Sachs reported such strong earnings. I think, in general, negativity about the economy should be released only in the Summer when people aren’t so gloomy and can handle bad news better.

Obviously, that can’t happen. And we shouldn’t “put lipstick on a pig”, as they say, if things are getting worse out there.

I just don’t believe things are getting worse. I don’t believe Meredith Whitney thinks things are getting worse, but, for whatever reason, she wants you to believe they are.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 13, 2010April 12, 2011

Peter Sarsgaard – Green Lantern Villain – Who Cares!?

OK geeks. Time to go outside for a little air.

I just noticed that the current most popular item on Digg is a story about Peter Sarsgaard possibly being cast as the villain in next year’s Green Lantern movie.

WHO GIVES A FUCK?! Jesus Christ, seriously, with the unimaginably horrific tragedy unfolding in Haiti, who cares about who will play the villain in The Green Lantern?!

Sure, he’s a fine actor. I’m sure he’ll be good in the part. BUT WHO CARES?! Please don’t spend the valuable time you have remaining in your lives “DIGGING” stories like this.

Here’s how this story should be discussed:

TWEET: Peter Sarsgaard may play the villain in “The Green Lantern” movie?
RESPONSE: Cool.

End of story.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 17, 2009April 22, 2011

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!

Meredith Whitney has been right in the past.

Meredith Whitney has been wrong in the past.

Meredith Whitney will be right about some things in the future.

And Meredith Whitney will be very wrong about some things the future.

The point?

Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about the future. Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about what the world will be like in the future. David Blaine doesn’t know what the world will be like in the future. Or Uri Geller or Sarah Michelle Gellar. NOBODY knows about the future!

When Meredith Whitney goes on CNBC with the Money Honey (Maria Bartiromo) and throws bombs while yelling fire at a stock market and overall economy that is struggling, what good does it do?

I’m not saying she should pull her punches if she seriously thinks a double-dip recession is inevitable. I’m just saying… she has no idea if a double-dip recession is inevitable. Nobody does. Much like the pundits who say the market is going to 15,000.

I understand Meredith Whitney has to be salacious to back up that rebel, bad girl photo on the front of the website (and above) for her company. “What will that renegade MW say this time? Get ready to sell sell sell!”

But now, Meredith, you are, once again, in the unenviable position of rooting against the American economy – desperately hoping to be right to uphold your “reputation” and secretly wishing the worst so that you can say on CNBC in the spring “Well, I called it last November, Maria.”

Even though you know… you don’t really know.

I don’t care about your precious math and underlying fundamentals, Meredith, and all the bullshit numbers you’ll throw out to back up whatever you’re trying to say – just admit that nobody knows nothing.

Not even a woman with a zebra on her wall.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 13, 2009April 22, 2011

The TV.com Awards?

I received an email this morning from a friend who said: “Jill, OMG, you have to click on this link and vote for my show!”

“Vote for what?”, I said.

“The Best Of 2009 TV.com Awards! My show was nominated!”

Are you fucking kidding me? The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards? What? What I mean say is… huh? The fuck?

I was wondering why everyone here at Manka Bros. is running around so excited. I thought it was because it is Friday – but no, IT’S BECAUSE THE BEST OF 2009 TV.COM NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! (And this is not to be confused with the 2009 TV.com Awards which were announced a month or so ago – I think.)

I am soooo nervous. Will “30 Rock” finally break out and beat “The Big Bang Theory” for their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award? Will “The Big Bang Theory” finally emerge from its “Two and a Half Men” shadow and beat “30 Rock” to win their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?

Actually, everyone who wins will win their very first Best Of 2009 TV.com Award. Because this is the first year of the Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Seriously, this town has got to stop giving out meaningless awards. I know we thrive on it and need these awards desperately to boost our egos (even more) but enough is enough. As a multi-year winner of the BLOGGY for Best General Media Blog, I know how it feels to have your name called. But we really need to stop it.

Woody Allen said it best in “Annie Hall“: “What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.”

And I have certain questions for the people at TV.com (owned by CBS). Have they only nominated shows from companies that have agreed to license their content to TV.com? Are any shows nominated that can only be found on competitor site Hulu.com, for instance? It makes you question the legitimacy of The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards.

However, the lawyers and executives at CBS don’t have to worry. I’m not going to poke around too much, because I really don’t care. I just wanted you all to know that, if I had to, I could blow the lid off this scandal and bring down The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea