… da sea giveth, and da sea taketh away… and it leave ya smellin kinda fishy…

… St. Pat’s concert atop da Clarence Hotel were monumental craic, a night which will live in nymphony… da Edge sat in on me tune “Aisling Da Body Electric”, i could see da ladies below trowin demselves in da Liffey, overcome wit desire…

Edge n Bono performed one o’dem crap songs from da spidey musical while Aidan me dwarf, dressed as Spiderman, swung from a cable off da roof, smashed into a window n gashed his leg…

Andrea Corr wowed da crowd wit stuff from her new album “lifelines”… all do respect to her hubby Brett, whom i love like a brudder, but if i could, i would make sweat love her all night every night til da day she died… be a shame if Brett came down wit sometin incurable…

… da after party in me sweet was populated by all manner o’scantily clad, insatiable young lasses, who swarmed roun me…

… but i withdrew, suddenly overcome wit sadness for da payple o’japan n labya… helicoptered back to me castle, but it felt wrong bein dere, so i grabbed da keys to me van and headed north, alone, to wallow in me introspection, search for inner peace… once & for all discover… da hidden secret of Roan Inish…

… day one o’me sojourn o’self discovery, ran outta petrol in mulrany, took me tree hours to find da hole in which to place da petrol spiggot… landed dat night in place called bangor erris… hiked a bit up nephin beg, grabbed trout out of a stream wit me bare hand… magners at west end bar, Seamy & Monica Henry offered to put me up, but i slept dat night atop me van, under da stars, ponderin existence…

…. could only last about tree minutes atop me van, took Seamy & Mon up on dat room, left wit d’mornin sun… dare daughter Aoife begged me to take her along, but dis were a road i hadda face alone, temptin as she was…

… bathed in Lough Conn, a baptism for me soul, til me nips froze & i lost feelin in me fingers… foun meself in Crossmolina Deel Medical Centre wit hypothermia…

… me van crapped out in Inishcrone, so i buried it in da bog & stuck me thumb out on da motorway, determined to continue me sojourn come heller highwaters…

… only creepy fellas stopped fer me, starin all googly-eyed at me bare chest, so i rang Aidan & he drove up in da limo…

… i tole him to come alone, but he brung fookin Donal & fookin Eamonn…

… dey promised to keep dare traps shut while i plumbed da depths o’me tortured soul…

… donal checked d’interwebs & finds out Roan Inish be a fictional place, scottish tale made irish in da film, which made me sadder… i decided we should head for place called Portnoo where dey filmed da movie… aidan shotgunned 5 magners & mistakenly drove us down to Kinlough den over to Kildoney Glebe, so we stuffed him in da trunk & Eamonn took da wheel, weavin all over da N15… needed to reach me destination… me life depended on it…

… part too comin soo…

Seamus
Follow @SeamusIsLove