Is it Hollywood week yet?  Vidar is so bored with these cattle call auditions.

Portland was the latest and it became A Tale Of Two Brittanys (Or Britnees) – or Battle of the Brittanys (Britnees).

That’s really all Vidar liked from Portland.

Brittany Zika (and her mom – who must also be a Brittany – she certainly has that Brittany look and appears younger than her daughter) was pretty good but must lose the dumb Woody Allen glasses and hipster hat.  It looked phony and, frankly, stupid on her.

If she wants to hide her identity she should take lessons from the Norse God Frey – who is a master shapeshifter and can become a salmon at the blink of an eye.

The other Brittany was actually “Britnee” and did not fool anyone in her disguise.  She was actually Brittany Spears.

The rules don’t allow already established pop stars to audition, so this must be why Brittany Spears decided to alter the spelling of her name (though she should have made it completely different – something like Gertrude or the she-bitch Solveig perhaps.

Brittany Spears did fine.  Had a very cute Aryan family of blondes.  Cried because her basketball player husband left her (or something).  Everyone knows she hasn’t been the same since K-Fed left her.

That was Portland – whoopee.

Vidar’s favorites so far:

1. Ashley Robles (San Diego)

2. Shelby Tweten (Aspen)

3. Prince Blanket Jackson (Savannah)

4. Hallie Day (Pittsburgh)

5. Baylie Brown (Texas)

Sorry to Tent Girl, Magic Cyclops and the guy born without ears – you won’t make the cut this year.

So – Portland was terrible.  What could be worse?

Vidar knows!  St. Louis!  That’s the next stop.

Vidar – The Norse God of Silence, Stealth & Revenge