[The following review is written completely honestly and without platitudes of any kind.]
Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 1 – “Pilot”
Reviewed by Vidar – The Norse God of Silence, Stealth & Revenge
Last night, The CW aired the greatest show in the history of television.
“Arrow” (previously known in boring comic book form as “The Green Arrow”), to put it simply, has relegated Superman, Batman, Spider-man, all of the Avengers, all of the X-Men, etc. etc. etc., every fucking superhero in the known universe to fucking nothingness.
Those characters are dead to me now. And they are all “Arrow”‘s little bitches.
If you’re a geek-dork and love comic book movies and shows, there is only one character necessary to fill your nerdy cup.
Vidar was expecting something shitty. Really really “CW-like” shitty.
But this show is not shit.
It is the filet mignon you eat before your body processes it into shit. The shit that comes out your ass now is Spider-man (in comparison to the greatest of “Arrow”).
EPISODE 1 “PILOT” Synopsis (courtesy of IMDB.com with Vidar interjections):
After a violet shipwreck, billionaire playboy Oliver Queen was missing and presumed dead for five years before being discovered alive on a remote island in the Pacific.
When he returns home to Starling City, his devoted mother Moira (yeah, right), much-beloved sister Thea (nicknamed Speedy – why because she snorts a lot of cocaine?), and best friend Tommy (with friends like Tommy who needs fucking friends), welcome him home, but they sense Oliver has been changed by his ordeal on the island. (You think?)
While Oliver hides the truth about the man he’s become, he desperately wants to make amends for the actions he took as the spoiled brat he was as a boy. Most particularly, he seeks reconciliation with his former girlfriend, Laurel Lance.
(Good luck there – he was banging her sister, Sarah, on the yacht that sunk which started this whole mess. Sarah died [though that was left wide open with no body discovered – she’ll be back]. Forgiveness of Oliver might be a problem for Laurel and her dad – Detective Lance Quince.)
As Oliver reconnects with those closest to him, he secretly creates the persona of Arrow (fuck yeah!) – a vigilante – to right the wrongs of his family, fight the ills of society, and restore Starling City to its former glory.
By day, Oliver plays the role of the wealthy, carefree and careless philanderer he used to be – flanked by his devoted chauffeur/bodyguard, John Diggle (seems like a decent guy but there’s something up with him – ‘don’t trust’ alert!), while carefully concealing the secret identity he turns to under cover of darkness.
However, Laurel’s father, Detective Quentin Lance, is determined to arrest the vigilante operating in his city. (Dude also doesn’t care much for Oliver. Oliver is, after all, somewhat responsible for his daughter’s death in the shipwreck.)
Meanwhile, Oliver’s own mother, Moira, knows much more about the deadly shipwreck than she has let on. (She’s going to turn out to be some sort of hardcore beyatch that no one wants to cross.)
Holy fucking shit, this is a great show! The Nobel Prize for Literature was awarded today to some guy in China.
Vidar says “BULLSHIT!” The Noble Prize should have been awarded to the Pilot Episode of “Arrow”!
The cast is perfect. The action, clothes, special effects, hair and even make-up is perfect times six. The story is better than any shit you’ve ever loved before.
No platitudes, just truth.
THIS SHOW ROCKS!
Vidar – The Norse God of Silence, Stealth & Revenge
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 1 – “Pilot”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 2 – “Honor Thy Father”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 3 – “Lone Gunman”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 4 – “An Innocent Man”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 5 – “Damaged”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 6 – “Legacies”
- Arrow – Season 1 – Episode 7 – “Muse of Fire”