In 1944, I was ordered to go to Spain after five months of heavy fighting in eastern France. I counted 35 kills in my personal quest to get to the Rhine but my fuck-ass superior officer thought I was 'over-zealous' in my hatred for strangers and told me to take a break from killing. My superior officer was a pussy - but I won't smear his name here - he was, after all, a decorated hero in the war to end all wars (WWI) and a valuable member of the super-duper war to end all wars (WWIl). I think ol' pussy Captain Jackson (oops) would have been ashamed of himself if he actually thought the allies would win. But I think he always thought the Nazis would win, so he hedged his bets. We can only hope ol' Pussy Jackson is burning in Hell now for being weak. Though I don't think Satan would have much to do with him in Hell. What does Satan need with pussy ass weak field commanders?

Anyway, I was orderd to go to Spain. Southern Spain. The only thing I knew about southern Spain was nothing. Nothing at all. I knew they ate goat brains and pig feet but that was it. I wasn't expecting to see "La Trucha" (The Trout). La Truca was a flamenco dancer. And she was the love of my life. I never knew a dance could seduce me so. Once you are in "La Trucha's" grip you can not get out. I spent five glorious days with the trout and then I had to leave and kill more Nazis. I had to kill a lot more Nazis. Fuck La Trucha - she might have been a double agent for all I knew. Who cares - as long as Nazis are alive, I must kill them. I would kill La Trucha if she were a Nazi. I would kill my mother if she were a Nazi. All Nazis must die. Get it? Don't try to win me over with your flamenco dance. It won't work! SCREW YOU, LA TRUCHA! No fish will defeat democracy!

I realize this little flashback has nothing to do with THOSE DAMN KIDS, but sometimes you have to kill others in order to kill yourself. Capisce?

I'll talk at you next week...

Manka Bros. is not responsible for any action by our freelance writers. If Mr. Aldrich actually kills someone, that's his problem. Manka Bros. cannot be held accountable.