Media - General: November 2009 Archives

Online celebrity gossip blogs need you to keep evading authorities and issuing bizarre statements on your website.  It's the only way many of them will be able to survive the current advertising slowdown.

For a while, the crazy death of Michael Jackson and the pending divorce of Jon & Kate sustained TMZ, Defamer, Radar, etc., but now, they really needed something to jack up the Holiday season - and your insane Thanksgiving was the perfect (the absolute perfect) present under the tree.

What you need to do now, Tiger, is barricade yourself inside your home or come out naked and drunk like something on "Cops" (throw in a scream at the helicopters for that extra zing).  Maybe you and Kobe could get together and go on some sort of cross-country crime spree ala "Bonnie and Clyde". 

I don't really care what you decide to do next - but PLEASE DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH.  That would kill this story faster than David Letterman confessing his illicit affair on national television.

So, Tiger...

DON'T come to California and host your golf tournament (keep everyone wondering where you are);

DON'T give a press conference to clear everything up (unless you decide to make it a crazy one with someone like Drew Rosenhaus as your spokesperson);

DO go on Oprah and Jay Leno once your wounds have healed for a nice, safe interview that you have full control over (and stick to your story of Elin freeing you with a golf club from your wrecked Escalade);

DO give Elin a flawless 20-carat diamond during "The View" and "thank her for saving your life"...

Etc. etc. etc.

Just don't tell the truth.   That would ruin everything.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

Meredith Whitney has been right in the past. 

Meredith Whitney has been wrong in the past. 

Meredith Whitney will be right about some things in the future. 

And Meredith Whitney will be very wrong about some things the future.  

The point? 

Meredith Whitney doesn't know shit about the future.  Meredith Whitney doesn't know shit about what the world will be like in the future.  David Blaine doesn't know what the world will be like in the future.  Or Uri Geller or Sarah Michelle Gellar.  NOBODY knows about the future!

When Meredith Whitney goes on CNBC with the Money Honey (Maria Bartiromo) and throws bombs while yelling fire at a stock market and overall economy that is struggling, what good does it do? 

I'm not saying she should pull her punches if she seriously thinks a double-dip recession is inevitable.  I'm just saying... she has no idea if a double-dip recession is inevitable.   Nobody does.  Much like the pundits who say the market is going to 15,000.

I understand Meredith Whitney has to be salacious to back up that rebel, bad girl photo on the front of the website (and above) for her company.  "What will that renegade MW say this time?  Get ready to sell sell sell!"  

But now, Meredith, you are, once again, in the unenviable position of rooting against the American economy - desperately hoping to be right to uphold your "reputation" and secretly wishing the worst so that you can say on CNBC in the spring "Well, I called it last November, Maria." 

Even though you know... you don't really know.

I don't care about your precious math and underlying fundamentals, Meredith, and all the bullshit numbers you'll throw out to back up whatever you're trying to say - just admit that nobody knows nothing.

Not even a woman with a zebra on her wall.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea