Real Steel [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Real Steel, Shawn Levy, John Gatins, Dan Gilroy, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Jeremy Leven, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo, Evangeline Lilly, Anthony Mackie, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, james Rebhorn, Marco Ruggeri, Karl Yune, Olga Fonda, John Gatins, Sophie Levy, Tess Levy, Charlie Levy, Gregory Sims, Torey Adkins, Tom Carlson, John Hawkinson, David Alan Basche, Phil LaMarr, David Herbst, Julian Gant, Ken Alter, Leilani Barrett, Eric Gutman, Nicholas Yu, D.B. Dickerson, Peter Carey, Dan Lemieux, Richard Goteri, Tim Holmes, Ricky Wayne, Taris Tyler, Kevin Dorman, John Manfredi, Rachael Adams, Mike Ancrile, Jamie Berk, Jeff Caponigro, Michael Patrick Carmody, Ron Causey, Jahnel Curfman, Larry C. Fenn, Joey Ghinelli, Shane Hagedorn, Robert Herrick, Jason Hughley, Kimberly Koltyk, Andrew Kruczynski, Chris Mannix, Jordan Kenneth Messing, Gary L. Minix, Steven Hugh Nelson, Chris Newman, Alan D. Purwin, Steven Scott, Daniel Everett Watson, Wendy Aaron, Apollo Bacala, Leah Barkoff, Joshua Ray Bell, Clark Birchmeier, Don Boerst, Wayne E. Brown, Geneva Brunetti, Kathleen Brzuszek, Justin P. Calkins, Steven Campbell, Michael B. Clark, Will Clarke, Jeremy Cook, Sandy Coonan, Eddie Davenport, John Dezsi, P.J. Edwards, Shannon Edwards, Raffi Elias, Rima Fakih, Tom Feldpausch, Johnny Flynn, Sarah Forton, Logan Fry, Ryan Genther, Jake Godzak, Ashley Goulson, Megan Grant, J.J. Green, Kevin Hall, Joey Harlow, Ron Heisler, Suzy Hunt, Pauline Ann Johnson, Josh Jones, Douglas King II, Nathan Kranzo, Joe Kras, Amy LaPlante, Kef Lee, Dervis Lici, Linda Linsley, Nathaniel Loveland, Rich Lozano, Bill Lumbert, Brad Leo Lyon, Mary Magyari, Jon Manthei, Melissa Marra, Rance Martin, Bryan Matti, Samuel Meadows, Antonio Miller, Wendel Millstead, Kirstie Munoz, Anton Narinskiy, Antoinette Nikprelai, Chris O'Brien, Clarence Olinger, Wendy Paquette, Matt Philliben, Ralph A. Recchia, Kara Joy Reed, Jay Reid, DaJuan Rippy, Nicolas Ritz, Jeff Rosenfeld, Maria Lucia Safi, Sebastian Sarkissian, Robert Sayers, Shana Schultz, Daryl M. Simpson, Gary Lee Simpson, Brian Anderson Smith, Joseph Smith, Nikki Smith, Dwight Sora, Paul J. Spear, Alan Stefan, Tiffany Stone, Morris Lee Sullivan, Regina Taufen, John E.L. Tenney, Johnny Truong, Eric Tuchelske, Laurie Valko, Brett VanDunk, Johnathon VanDusen, Kaitlan Welton, Jojuan Westmoreland, Paul W. Wilson, Amanda Wright, Ron Ames, Rick Benattar, Eric Hedayat, Shawn Levy, Josh McLaglen, Mary McLaglen, Susan Montford, Don Murphy, Jack Rapke, Steven Spielberg, Steve Starkey, Robert Zemeckis, Danny Elfman, Mauro Fiore, Dean Zimmerman, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Tom Meyer, Seth Reed, Jason Baldwin Stewart, Jeff Wisniewski, Lauren Kress, Tina Anderson, Mark Graziano, Jennifer Bash, Jamie Bishop, Miles Teves, James Ashwill, Neal Garon, John Cucci, Helen Luttress, Greg Zimmerman, Alan Scott, Dan Akers, Ben Bray, Marie Fink, Ryan Nelson, Jonah Austin, Roy Sato, Marisa Clayton, Nicolas Hasson, Matthew Carson, Bill Abbott, Tony Amadi, Justin Calkins, Alexandra Ducocq, Alex Fields, Pam Ellington, John Hanlin, Kelly Helstrom, Tiffany Lanier, Gary Martyn, Michael Mili, Steven Molen, Demetrios Skodras, Lindsey Spaulding, Shelly Strong, Regina Taufen, Michalla Petersen, Irving Milgrom

An Apology:  I was away in Finland for a tragic family.  My own.  To say, without too much, a cousin lost a fight with a cod boat.  He was torn.  But unlike The Humpty Egg, there was no putting him back from pieces.

Plus, there was college football andGlee” (Ryan MurphyLindsay in only one episode so far?  Are we now enemies?  I could do worse on you than a cod boat – these are words!).

Now, A Review:

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Real Steel, Shawn Levy, John Gatins, Dan Gilroy, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Jeremy Leven, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo, Evangeline Lilly, Anthony Mackie, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, james Rebhorn, Marco Ruggeri, Karl Yune, Olga Fonda, John Gatins, Sophie Levy, Tess Levy, Charlie Levy, Gregory Sims, Torey Adkins, Tom Carlson, John Hawkinson, David Alan Basche, Phil LaMarr, David Herbst, Julian Gant, Ken Alter, Leilani Barrett, Eric Gutman, Nicholas Yu, D.B. Dickerson, Peter Carey, Dan Lemieux, Richard Goteri, Tim Holmes, Ricky Wayne, Taris Tyler, Kevin Dorman, John Manfredi, Rachael Adams, Mike Ancrile, Jamie Berk, Jeff Caponigro, Michael Patrick Carmody, Ron Causey, Jahnel Curfman, Larry C. Fenn, Joey Ghinelli, Shane Hagedorn, Robert Herrick, Jason Hughley, Kimberly Koltyk, Andrew Kruczynski, Chris Mannix, Jordan Kenneth Messing, Gary L. Minix, Steven Hugh Nelson, Chris Newman, Alan D. Purwin, Steven Scott, Daniel Everett Watson, Wendy Aaron, Apollo Bacala, Leah Barkoff, Joshua Ray Bell, Clark Birchmeier, Don Boerst, Wayne E. Brown, Geneva Brunetti, Kathleen Brzuszek, Justin P. Calkins, Steven Campbell, Michael B. Clark, Will Clarke, Jeremy Cook, Sandy Coonan, Eddie Davenport, John Dezsi, P.J. Edwards, Shannon Edwards, Raffi Elias, Rima Fakih, Tom Feldpausch, Johnny Flynn, Sarah Forton, Logan Fry, Ryan Genther, Jake Godzak, Ashley Goulson, Megan Grant, J.J. Green, Kevin Hall, Joey Harlow, Ron Heisler, Suzy Hunt, Pauline Ann Johnson, Josh Jones, Douglas King II, Nathan Kranzo, Joe Kras, Amy LaPlante, Kef Lee, Dervis Lici, Linda Linsley, Nathaniel Loveland, Rich Lozano, Bill Lumbert, Brad Leo Lyon, Mary Magyari, Jon Manthei, Melissa Marra, Rance Martin, Bryan Matti, Samuel Meadows, Antonio Miller, Wendel Millstead, Kirstie Munoz, Anton Narinskiy, Antoinette Nikprelai, Chris O'Brien, Clarence Olinger, Wendy Paquette, Matt Philliben, Ralph A. Recchia, Kara Joy Reed, Jay Reid, DaJuan Rippy, Nicolas Ritz, Jeff Rosenfeld, Maria Lucia Safi, Sebastian Sarkissian, Robert Sayers, Shana Schultz, Daryl M. Simpson, Gary Lee Simpson, Brian Anderson Smith, Joseph Smith, Nikki Smith, Dwight Sora, Paul J. Spear, Alan Stefan, Tiffany Stone, Morris Lee Sullivan, Regina Taufen, John E.L. Tenney, Johnny Truong, Eric Tuchelske, Laurie Valko, Brett VanDunk, Johnathon VanDusen, Kaitlan Welton, Jojuan Westmoreland, Paul W. Wilson, Amanda Wright, Ron Ames, Rick Benattar, Eric Hedayat, Shawn Levy, Josh McLaglen, Mary McLaglen, Susan Montford, Don Murphy, Jack Rapke, Steven Spielberg, Steve Starkey, Robert Zemeckis, Danny Elfman, Mauro Fiore, Dean Zimmerman, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Tom Meyer, Seth Reed, Jason Baldwin Stewart, Jeff Wisniewski, Lauren Kress, Tina Anderson, Mark Graziano, Jennifer Bash, Jamie Bishop, Miles Teves, James Ashwill, Neal Garon, John Cucci, Helen Luttress, Greg Zimmerman, Alan Scott, Dan Akers, Ben Bray, Marie Fink, Ryan Nelson, Jonah Austin, Roy Sato, Marisa Clayton, Nicolas Hasson, Matthew Carson, Bill Abbott, Tony Amadi, Justin Calkins, Alexandra Ducocq, Alex Fields, Pam Ellington, John Hanlin, Kelly Helstrom, Tiffany Lanier, Gary Martyn, Michael Mili, Steven Molen, Demetrios Skodras, Lindsey Spaulding, Shelly Strong, Regina Taufen, Michalla Petersen, Irving MilgromReal Steel

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

There was a time when the children all wanted to replace their little robot with a teddy bear to cuddle.

Or My Little Pony.

Or Dancing Torval, the Helsinki Wonder Elf (I miss you, Torval).

Today, society is violent, it offers young people an alternative rather disturbing.

The 11 year old wants his robot, but he be at war with other machines on boxing rings, the risk of losing its bolts and pay a lot of oil (out of his machine hole – nasty!).

Times change and Hollywood follows the trend increases or whatever.

In any case, the script “Real Steel” is confusing in this regard, the robot found in one case, which saves the life of the child is not receiving the emotional one, but no longer represents that an object dedicated to letting off steam in future games where at least the man has been replaced by powerful machines, he leads with voice or video game controllers (this is my newest entry in “The World’s Longest Sentence Competition.”  Be sure to vote!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Real Steel, Shawn Levy, John Gatins, Dan Gilroy, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Jeremy Leven, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo, Evangeline Lilly, Anthony Mackie, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, james Rebhorn, Marco Ruggeri, Karl Yune, Olga Fonda, John Gatins, Sophie Levy, Tess Levy, Charlie Levy, Gregory Sims, Torey Adkins, Tom Carlson, John Hawkinson, David Alan Basche, Phil LaMarr, David Herbst, Julian Gant, Ken Alter, Leilani Barrett, Eric Gutman, Nicholas Yu, D.B. Dickerson, Peter Carey, Dan Lemieux, Richard Goteri, Tim Holmes, Ricky Wayne, Taris Tyler, Kevin Dorman, John Manfredi, Rachael Adams, Mike Ancrile, Jamie Berk, Jeff Caponigro, Michael Patrick Carmody, Ron Causey, Jahnel Curfman, Larry C. Fenn, Joey Ghinelli, Shane Hagedorn, Robert Herrick, Jason Hughley, Kimberly Koltyk, Andrew Kruczynski, Chris Mannix, Jordan Kenneth Messing, Gary L. Minix, Steven Hugh Nelson, Chris Newman, Alan D. Purwin, Steven Scott, Daniel Everett Watson, Wendy Aaron, Apollo Bacala, Leah Barkoff, Joshua Ray Bell, Clark Birchmeier, Don Boerst, Wayne E. Brown, Geneva Brunetti, Kathleen Brzuszek, Justin P. Calkins, Steven Campbell, Michael B. Clark, Will Clarke, Jeremy Cook, Sandy Coonan, Eddie Davenport, John Dezsi, P.J. Edwards, Shannon Edwards, Raffi Elias, Rima Fakih, Tom Feldpausch, Johnny Flynn, Sarah Forton, Logan Fry, Ryan Genther, Jake Godzak, Ashley Goulson, Megan Grant, J.J. Green, Kevin Hall, Joey Harlow, Ron Heisler, Suzy Hunt, Pauline Ann Johnson, Josh Jones, Douglas King II, Nathan Kranzo, Joe Kras, Amy LaPlante, Kef Lee, Dervis Lici, Linda Linsley, Nathaniel Loveland, Rich Lozano, Bill Lumbert, Brad Leo Lyon, Mary Magyari, Jon Manthei, Melissa Marra, Rance Martin, Bryan Matti, Samuel Meadows, Antonio Miller, Wendel Millstead, Kirstie Munoz, Anton Narinskiy, Antoinette Nikprelai, Chris O'Brien, Clarence Olinger, Wendy Paquette, Matt Philliben, Ralph A. Recchia, Kara Joy Reed, Jay Reid, DaJuan Rippy, Nicolas Ritz, Jeff Rosenfeld, Maria Lucia Safi, Sebastian Sarkissian, Robert Sayers, Shana Schultz, Daryl M. Simpson, Gary Lee Simpson, Brian Anderson Smith, Joseph Smith, Nikki Smith, Dwight Sora, Paul J. Spear, Alan Stefan, Tiffany Stone, Morris Lee Sullivan, Regina Taufen, John E.L. Tenney, Johnny Truong, Eric Tuchelske, Laurie Valko, Brett VanDunk, Johnathon VanDusen, Kaitlan Welton, Jojuan Westmoreland, Paul W. Wilson, Amanda Wright, Ron Ames, Rick Benattar, Eric Hedayat, Shawn Levy, Josh McLaglen, Mary McLaglen, Susan Montford, Don Murphy, Jack Rapke, Steven Spielberg, Steve Starkey, Robert Zemeckis, Danny Elfman, Mauro Fiore, Dean Zimmerman, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Tom Meyer, Seth Reed, Jason Baldwin Stewart, Jeff Wisniewski, Lauren Kress, Tina Anderson, Mark Graziano, Jennifer Bash, Jamie Bishop, Miles Teves, James Ashwill, Neal Garon, John Cucci, Helen Luttress, Greg Zimmerman, Alan Scott, Dan Akers, Ben Bray, Marie Fink, Ryan Nelson, Jonah Austin, Roy Sato, Marisa Clayton, Nicolas Hasson, Matthew Carson, Bill Abbott, Tony Amadi, Justin Calkins, Alexandra Ducocq, Alex Fields, Pam Ellington, John Hanlin, Kelly Helstrom, Tiffany Lanier, Gary Martyn, Michael Mili, Steven Molen, Demetrios Skodras, Lindsey Spaulding, Shelly Strong, Regina Taufen, Michalla Petersen, Irving MilgromYou can not stop progress.

You can’t even stop Michael Bay, although for this he is not to blame.

At this level, these robots mark such progress that one wonders how the company proposed in futuristic “Real Steel” look like much of our time.

Apart from mobile phones and computers that are with transparency, the proposed future on the screen looks suspiciously like our present, or at least that of some American redneck present (“The Help” had no robots, but many rednecks), that of the hinterland that allows director Shawn Levy, director accustomed to pure comedy, giving us some very nice shots of landscapes.

His staging is really neat and keen, away from its usual entertainment achievements of great magnitude (“Liar, Liar”, “The Pink Panther”, “Night at the Museum”).

Magnitude!

Show very light for adults who will see an appropriate starting point for a racy tale of anticipation and visceral gutiness (maybe sex?  Even more disappointing than “Glee”), “Real Steel” is exclusively for young people, especially during the film fun to patch up a crappy, unworthy father, obsessed with combat (he is himself a former boxer), and the son he never knew, since he abandoned at birth, the son.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Real Steel, Shawn Levy, John Gatins, Dan Gilroy, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Jeremy Leven, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo, Evangeline Lilly, Anthony Mackie, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, james Rebhorn, Marco Ruggeri, Karl Yune, Olga Fonda, John Gatins, Sophie Levy, Tess Levy, Charlie Levy, Gregory Sims, Torey Adkins, Tom Carlson, John Hawkinson, David Alan Basche, Phil LaMarr, David Herbst, Julian Gant, Ken Alter, Leilani Barrett, Eric Gutman, Nicholas Yu, D.B. Dickerson, Peter Carey, Dan Lemieux, Richard Goteri, Tim Holmes, Ricky Wayne, Taris Tyler, Kevin Dorman, John Manfredi, Rachael Adams, Mike Ancrile, Jamie Berk, Jeff Caponigro, Michael Patrick Carmody, Ron Causey, Jahnel Curfman, Larry C. Fenn, Joey Ghinelli, Shane Hagedorn, Robert Herrick, Jason Hughley, Kimberly Koltyk, Andrew Kruczynski, Chris Mannix, Jordan Kenneth Messing, Gary L. Minix, Steven Hugh Nelson, Chris Newman, Alan D. Purwin, Steven Scott, Daniel Everett Watson, Wendy Aaron, Apollo Bacala, Leah Barkoff, Joshua Ray Bell, Clark Birchmeier, Don Boerst, Wayne E. Brown, Geneva Brunetti, Kathleen Brzuszek, Justin P. Calkins, Steven Campbell, Michael B. Clark, Will Clarke, Jeremy Cook, Sandy Coonan, Eddie Davenport, John Dezsi, P.J. Edwards, Shannon Edwards, Raffi Elias, Rima Fakih, Tom Feldpausch, Johnny Flynn, Sarah Forton, Logan Fry, Ryan Genther, Jake Godzak, Ashley Goulson, Megan Grant, J.J. Green, Kevin Hall, Joey Harlow, Ron Heisler, Suzy Hunt, Pauline Ann Johnson, Josh Jones, Douglas King II, Nathan Kranzo, Joe Kras, Amy LaPlante, Kef Lee, Dervis Lici, Linda Linsley, Nathaniel Loveland, Rich Lozano, Bill Lumbert, Brad Leo Lyon, Mary Magyari, Jon Manthei, Melissa Marra, Rance Martin, Bryan Matti, Samuel Meadows, Antonio Miller, Wendel Millstead, Kirstie Munoz, Anton Narinskiy, Antoinette Nikprelai, Chris O'Brien, Clarence Olinger, Wendy Paquette, Matt Philliben, Ralph A. Recchia, Kara Joy Reed, Jay Reid, DaJuan Rippy, Nicolas Ritz, Jeff Rosenfeld, Maria Lucia Safi, Sebastian Sarkissian, Robert Sayers, Shana Schultz, Daryl M. Simpson, Gary Lee Simpson, Brian Anderson Smith, Joseph Smith, Nikki Smith, Dwight Sora, Paul J. Spear, Alan Stefan, Tiffany Stone, Morris Lee Sullivan, Regina Taufen, John E.L. Tenney, Johnny Truong, Eric Tuchelske, Laurie Valko, Brett VanDunk, Johnathon VanDusen, Kaitlan Welton, Jojuan Westmoreland, Paul W. Wilson, Amanda Wright, Ron Ames, Rick Benattar, Eric Hedayat, Shawn Levy, Josh McLaglen, Mary McLaglen, Susan Montford, Don Murphy, Jack Rapke, Steven Spielberg, Steve Starkey, Robert Zemeckis, Danny Elfman, Mauro Fiore, Dean Zimmerman, Richard Hicks, David Rubin, Tom Meyer, Seth Reed, Jason Baldwin Stewart, Jeff Wisniewski, Lauren Kress, Tina Anderson, Mark Graziano, Jennifer Bash, Jamie Bishop, Miles Teves, James Ashwill, Neal Garon, John Cucci, Helen Luttress, Greg Zimmerman, Alan Scott, Dan Akers, Ben Bray, Marie Fink, Ryan Nelson, Jonah Austin, Roy Sato, Marisa Clayton, Nicolas Hasson, Matthew Carson, Bill Abbott, Tony Amadi, Justin Calkins, Alexandra Ducocq, Alex Fields, Pam Ellington, John Hanlin, Kelly Helstrom, Tiffany Lanier, Gary Martyn, Michael Mili, Steven Molen, Demetrios Skodras, Lindsey Spaulding, Shelly Strong, Regina Taufen, Michalla Petersen, Irving MilgromAgain, the figure of Hugh Jackman – an actor very concerned about his appearance throughout the film – has little flavor.

He is close to his son through the shared passion for real life Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

What would he have been so indifferent to fighting had the kid?

Faced with this single-minded and immature father, completely loser, the child finds the right horse (well the good robot) to win fights, takes the control during competition and after a few opponents, already finds himself facing the champion of the world, the invincible Zeus (so fake!  Zeus was a god, not a robot… Duh.)

Major madness for me – why in the name of hell was Evangeline Lilly wasted so?

And why am I still so mad at the “Lost” ending that left my life sucked like Twinkie filling?  I tend for forgetting my viewing of the film – “Lost” really pissed me off.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, “Real Steel” – one thumb thinking “Hugh, be Wolverine already”, the other thumb thinking “Why did the Dharma Initiative exist – where did Ben Linus get all the money – and… an exploding submarine?!?

I mean, COME ON!!!!!”  Damn you, “Lost”.

Go see it.  Or don’t.  Whatever.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Ryan Murphy – I am not kidding.  Lindsay Pearce major storyline on “Glee” or I get liquored up and say mean things.  At your face!

Colombiana [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Colombiana, Olivier Megaton, Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen, Zoe Saldana, Amandla Stenberg, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Callum Blue, Jordi Molla, Max Martini, Lennie James, Graham McTavish, Monica Acosta, Beau Brasseaux, Jesse Borrego, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Affif Ben Badra, Billy Slaughter, Sam Douglas, Andrea Helene, Anita Nicole Brown, Jim Nieciecki, Ofelia Medina, Michael Showers, Jay Amor, Doug Rao, Kylie Creppel, Elton LeBlanc, Haylie Creppel, Michael Kuster, Emily D. Haley, John C. Klein, Lauren Thomas, Nikea Gamby-Turner, Julian Sedgwick, Cedric Burton, Alan D. Purwin, Beto Benites, Charles Maquignon, Mylene Pilutik, David Clark, Edward J. Clare, Richard Zeringue, Grace LaRocca, Wes Cannon, Angel Gamica, Larraine Morales, Ricky Vo, Stephane Lagoutte, David Anthony Jackson, Benoit Lavelatte, Scheryl W. Brown, Gene Bryant, Nelson Carvajal, Geraldine Glenn, Yohanni Liman, Allen Panakal, David Lee Valle, Robert A. Young, Luc Besson, Mariano Carranco, Alex Corven Caronia, Olivier Glaas, Pierre-Ange Le Pogam, Sandrine Molto, Gareth Upton, Ariel Zeitoun, Nathaniel Mechaly, Romain Lacourbas, Camille Delamarre, John Papsidera, Patrick Durand, Stacy Kelly, Matthieu Bled, Carrie Bush, Matt Corrado, Colin Bach, Alexandra Capps, Gus Coto, Chad Harris, Damien Abry, J.T. Mueller, Thomas Tymen, Chad Rose, Michael Ortiz, Dave Wightman, Dylan Jury, Barbara Babb, Gregory Brecher, Eric Bassoff, Erin Booth, Brittney Diez, Claire Dumaze, Mike Eisenberg, Giuseppe Ferlito, Nathan Grigsby, Jonathan Gray, Katrina Meier, Steven James Price, Ken Speed, Derrick Bentley Wells, Nicole Williams

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Colombiana, Olivier Megaton, Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen, Zoe Saldana, Amandla Stenberg, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Callum Blue, Jordi Molla, Max Martini, Lennie James, Graham McTavish, Monica Acosta, Beau Brasseaux, Jesse Borrego, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Affif Ben Badra, Billy Slaughter, Sam Douglas, Andrea Helene, Anita Nicole Brown, Jim Nieciecki, Ofelia Medina, Michael Showers, Jay Amor, Doug Rao, Kylie Creppel, Elton LeBlanc, Haylie Creppel, Michael Kuster, Emily D. Haley, John C. Klein, Lauren Thomas, Nikea Gamby-Turner, Julian Sedgwick, Cedric Burton, Alan D. Purwin, Beto Benites, Charles Maquignon, Mylene Pilutik, David Clark, Edward J. Clare, Richard Zeringue, Grace LaRocca, Wes Cannon, Angel Gamica, Larraine Morales, Ricky Vo, Stephane Lagoutte, David Anthony Jackson, Benoit Lavelatte, Scheryl W. Brown, Gene Bryant, Nelson Carvajal, Geraldine Glenn, Yohanni Liman, Allen Panakal, David Lee Valle, Robert A. Young, Luc Besson, Mariano Carranco, Alex Corven Caronia, Olivier Glaas, Pierre-Ange Le Pogam, Sandrine Molto, Gareth Upton, Ariel Zeitoun, Nathaniel Mechaly, Romain Lacourbas, Camille Delamarre, John Papsidera, Patrick Durand, Stacy Kelly, Matthieu Bled, Carrie Bush, Matt Corrado, Colin Bach, Alexandra Capps, Gus Coto, Chad Harris, Damien Abry, J.T. Mueller, Thomas Tymen, Chad Rose, Michael Ortiz, Dave Wightman, Dylan Jury, Barbara Babb, Gregory Brecher, Eric Bassoff, Erin Booth, Brittney Diez, Claire Dumaze, Mike Eisenberg, Giuseppe Ferlito, Nathan Grigsby, Jonathan Gray, Katrina Meier, Steven James Price, Ken Speed, Derrick Bentley Wells, Nicole Williams“Colombiana”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

1992.

Colombia (cocaine, not District of).

The little nine-year Cataleya witnessed the murder of her parents.  She manages to escape the slaughter with difficulty and takes refuge in the United States with Emilio, her mobster uncle.

(My mobster uncle was Jarkko – he drowned in a Norwegian fjord smuggling high proof liquor.  No movies for Jarkko.  Why Norway, Jarkko, why?)

Fifteen years later, she is working for him as a hit-person.  Your business card, an orchid drawn on the chest of their victims is a message to the murderers of their parents, because Cataleya’s determination to take her revenge to its logical conclusion.

Even if it means sacrificing everything she loves.

Exactly like James Caan in “Thief”.  But with a worse soundtrack (Tangerine Dream FTW!)

Written and produced by Luc Besson, Colombiana” is one of those crappy ass movies that proves the French film a commercial for American coinage.

Or “The Birdcage” – but much less gay.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Colombiana, Olivier Megaton, Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen, Zoe Saldana, Amandla Stenberg, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Callum Blue, Jordi Molla, Max Martini, Lennie James, Graham McTavish, Monica Acosta, Beau Brasseaux, Jesse Borrego, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Affif Ben Badra, Billy Slaughter, Sam Douglas, Andrea Helene, Anita Nicole Brown, Jim Nieciecki, Ofelia Medina, Michael Showers, Jay Amor, Doug Rao, Kylie Creppel, Elton LeBlanc, Haylie Creppel, Michael Kuster, Emily D. Haley, John C. Klein, Lauren Thomas, Nikea Gamby-Turner, Julian Sedgwick, Cedric Burton, Alan D. Purwin, Beto Benites, Charles Maquignon, Mylene Pilutik, David Clark, Edward J. Clare, Richard Zeringue, Grace LaRocca, Wes Cannon, Angel Gamica, Larraine Morales, Ricky Vo, Stephane Lagoutte, David Anthony Jackson, Benoit Lavelatte, Scheryl W. Brown, Gene Bryant, Nelson Carvajal, Geraldine Glenn, Yohanni Liman, Allen Panakal, David Lee Valle, Robert A. Young, Luc Besson, Mariano Carranco, Alex Corven Caronia, Olivier Glaas, Pierre-Ange Le Pogam, Sandrine Molto, Gareth Upton, Ariel Zeitoun, Nathaniel Mechaly, Romain Lacourbas, Camille Delamarre, John Papsidera, Patrick Durand, Stacy Kelly, Matthieu Bled, Carrie Bush, Matt Corrado, Colin Bach, Alexandra Capps, Gus Coto, Chad Harris, Damien Abry, J.T. Mueller, Thomas Tymen, Chad Rose, Michael Ortiz, Dave Wightman, Dylan Jury, Barbara Babb, Gregory Brecher, Eric Bassoff, Erin Booth, Brittney Diez, Claire Dumaze, Mike Eisenberg, Giuseppe Ferlito, Nathan Grigsby, Jonathan Gray, Katrina Meier, Steven James Price, Ken Speed, Derrick Bentley Wells, Nicole WilliamsWith an international cast, led by Zoe Saldana, Jordi Moll and Cliff Curtis, “Colombiana” has a technical bill as carefully as the rest of the production of Besson.

I stand by that statement.

The plot is predictable and tend to be known by all who read bestsellers or industrial enjoy thrillers which today are content to nurture the multiplex.

Zoe Saldana portrays Cataleya Restrepo, a girl so beautiful and smart (but no longer blue… I see you!  “Avatar”, you lump heads… ), whose fortunes changed from a tragedy: her parents were murdered in Bogotá by order of a vicious drug dealer.  Well mannered drug dealers are not so bad from what I hear.

Since then, Cataleya has learned to handle all types of weapons with two very different purposes.

On the one hand, shines the minions who work in the service of her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis).

For another, she spends her free time to settle criminals hoping to find the one that killed their parents, like we all would do, but less pretty.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Colombiana, Olivier Megaton, Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen, Zoe Saldana, Amandla Stenberg, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Callum Blue, Jordi Molla, Max Martini, Lennie James, Graham McTavish, Monica Acosta, Beau Brasseaux, Jesse Borrego, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Affif Ben Badra, Billy Slaughter, Sam Douglas, Andrea Helene, Anita Nicole Brown, Jim Nieciecki, Ofelia Medina, Michael Showers, Jay Amor, Doug Rao, Kylie Creppel, Elton LeBlanc, Haylie Creppel, Michael Kuster, Emily D. Haley, John C. Klein, Lauren Thomas, Nikea Gamby-Turner, Julian Sedgwick, Cedric Burton, Alan D. Purwin, Beto Benites, Charles Maquignon, Mylene Pilutik, David Clark, Edward J. Clare, Richard Zeringue, Grace LaRocca, Wes Cannon, Angel Gamica, Larraine Morales, Ricky Vo, Stephane Lagoutte, David Anthony Jackson, Benoit Lavelatte, Scheryl W. Brown, Gene Bryant, Nelson Carvajal, Geraldine Glenn, Yohanni Liman, Allen Panakal, David Lee Valle, Robert A. Young, Luc Besson, Mariano Carranco, Alex Corven Caronia, Olivier Glaas, Pierre-Ange Le Pogam, Sandrine Molto, Gareth Upton, Ariel Zeitoun, Nathaniel Mechaly, Romain Lacourbas, Camille Delamarre, John Papsidera, Patrick Durand, Stacy Kelly, Matthieu Bled, Carrie Bush, Matt Corrado, Colin Bach, Alexandra Capps, Gus Coto, Chad Harris, Damien Abry, J.T. Mueller, Thomas Tymen, Chad Rose, Michael Ortiz, Dave Wightman, Dylan Jury, Barbara Babb, Gregory Brecher, Eric Bassoff, Erin Booth, Brittney Diez, Claire Dumaze, Mike Eisenberg, Giuseppe Ferlito, Nathan Grigsby, Jonathan Gray, Katrina Meier, Steven James Price, Ken Speed, Derrick Bentley Wells, Nicole WilliamsIn short, we have here yet another version of vigilante cool, capable of sacrificing one’s neighbor without entirely losing morality.

Otherwise, there is some relationship between this heroin and other Cataleya invented years ago by Besson: Nikita!

As usual in such films, the atmosphere is a key element.  Since the filming took place between Paris, Chicago,Miami,New Orleans and Mexico City, is not surprising that the most characteristic of each of these urban environments come to light in the display.

Of the cities.  For our eyeballs.

The director, Olivier Megaton, Olivier Fontana is really called, is part of the Team Besson since he directed “Transporter 3” (poop pile).

For more signs, was also the second unit director of “Hitman” (poop pile), which gives us the key to his specialty: persecutions, parkour (French people climbing walls like tweekers), shootings and, ultimately, all these more or less frenetic sequences that characterize the genre that we occupies.

Summary:  Zoe Saldana is a fox.

“Columbiana”, though made by people who make poop piles, is not a poop pile.  WHAT?!

One thumb has a stiffie, the other is neutral, like Switzerland without the snobbery.

Netflix for sure.

Save your money for Apollo 18.  At the trailer, I made my own poop pile… a poop pile for good!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  September 20th brings us new Glee.  Lindsay, don’t let me down.