Dark Shadows
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
Readers, forgive me.
Last week, The Avengers.
Oops.
I was again the drunk and did not review that awesome piece of shit.
How so?
My FinnBro (Pekka) and I did the drink on Nashville!
So many the pukes out of my mouth.
Then Pekka puked on the ice.
Partied like a star, then the falling and the hospital.
My fault Phoenix is in the Western Conference Finals.
Never to drink again. Until tomorrow!
Pekka, I take the bad!
Damn!
Damn, again!
Thanks, Hollywood.
When, as a child, I would exist – the loving of Barnabas Collins every afternoon.
Then, for we of the werewolf love, had Quentin. I wanted to grow up to a werewolf.
Cool.
Show was AWESOME!
Now, WTF?!?
I don’t hate “Dark Shadows.” There is some love.
Michelle Pfeiffer… HOT!
Eva Green… HOT.
Chloe Mortetz… HOT, but not legal for 5 more years.
Then a movie. I don’t care.
Once again, seventies are funny. Come on!
Burton, I crap in your eye.
This is the best funny movie Tim Burton has done since “Big Fish.”
But again, what the fjord?.
Old jokes are old. New jokes are old.
I want to like, but with a lack of laughing, what the hell?
Time for the Burton – Depp break-up.
Though, the happening of this is never.
Man, the Kossu is running out.
Therefore, I have nothing left to say.
“Dark Shadow” will be on my big screen in August. My pipe is full of the sweet weed.
Now is the time for us who love cinema to rage!
Do not throw poop at us like a monkey!
We are human.
We want to see the cinema that is good!
Come on!
Come on.
I am now escorted to a place where I can relax. One day, movies will be fun again.
No, probably never. Damn.
For now, I leave you with this: Go and see “Dark Shadows”.
Why not? Get drunk. Smoke some green. Time goes by.
Who gives a shit?
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. Summer again. Now time for summer brain cancer. Fuck.