Glynna Grimala – Behind the Proscenium

Paranormal Activity 4

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

*****SPOILER ALERT*****

Where could this possibly go?

#1 was near past.

#2 was near past and nearer past.

#3 was way back past.

#4 is the now (powered by iPhone and laptop).

More found footage.

More of the crazy that would put my body in a hotel but doesn’t affect dumb people.

My ears say a demon is walking around the house I run like a girl.

A fast girl!

If you are not having the viewing experience of “Paranormal Activity 1, 2, 3” read this no further. And why would you read about 4 if you haven’t seen the first three?

Are you drunk?

Are you high?

If “no” is answered get drunk or high and see 1 and 3 – read about 2 online (crap-fest I am wishing not to talk about, so I won’t – 2 sucked so hard it slurped and messed with the dog – no kidding).

Plot? Same as always.

As my fingers typed “Paranormal Activity 4” is the now time – if November 2011 is kind of the now time. No more California, but Nevada is where is Demon-town now. Henderson.

Mom and Dad (generic actors), cute adopted (holy sheet!) youngest Wyatt (Aiden Lovekamp), and hot (but of illegal young age, crap) Alex (Kathryn Newton). She is into the video of everything which is annoying.

All is happy… then creepiest of all kids, Robbie (Brady Allen) moves into the next door. He likes to shake hands, the freaky weirdo!

And he has a fork.

Alex computer talks with her sort of boyfriend Ben (Matt Shively). He sees creepy shit in the background places.

The coolest character is Kinect. You will see the meaning of this in the movie. Disco front room, with demon!

So, Paranormal checklist:

Creepy shadows doing the creeper in the background – check.

Something normal jumps into screen view, making you do a Cola spill on reviewer in front of you (and wow, was he pissed)– check.

Characters not running away screaming but walking TOWARDS demon sounds – check.

Characters getting a lethal smack down like from the Shaq in his prime – check (poor Mom).

Loud footsteps like from the fat kid in the apartment of my upstairs – check.

Katie – check.

Someone’s neck broken, Chuck Norris style – check.

People being dragged around by unseen Demon strongman – check.

Sleeping person sheet removal with not waking- check.

Did I on the checklist miss anything? Add them to the comments below.

So, two really disappointed thumbs hanging down.

The want for good was there, just not the good. Even the Spanish crap crazy stuff after credit time was “meh.”

I was thinking series full circle coolness, but no. Just set up for sequel after sequel after sequel after sequel. A damn shame.

Save your money for the buying of smoke and Cheetos – let this be a mind film all of your own making in your head. It will be better than “Paranormal Activity 4”. Truth.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Revolution” makes no sense. And it is the suckage for acting. And writing. Off the DVR forever! Suck it, “Revolution”!

The Hunger Games

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I have waited for this longer than time may seem to you.

Or even longer.

So when the cinema doors opened I was fully ready for an eyeball party!

Yes, “The Hunger Games” is finally open.

Smoke was smoked.

Popcorn was popped.

Kossu was in the fun pocket for in the theater for drinking.

Yes!

Then my confusion – is this about Finland? Dirt. Trees. Poor people. District 12 is Finland!

Then my panic pulls out (too much weed) and I realize that I’m in the right film theater.

First things right now: Jennifer Lawrence is hot. So hot that I have a Winter’s Bone in the springtime.

Movie critic humor (for the win)!

So, what did we see? Plot is now!

The story of “The Hunger Games” is set in an indeterminate future. North America is destroyed. From the ashes rose the country Panem, which consisted of the Capital and original 13 districts.

After an uprising a district was destroyed. In order to remember the debt of the districts, Capitol held once a year the so-called Hunger Games, in which 24 young people compete in a battle to the death against each other – in each district a girl and a boy.

In the 74^th Hunger Games something unexpected happens: This part is that her younger sister Prim (Willow Shields) to the Hunger Games must be reported, the 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers as a tribute.

This is the greatest movie that has ever been told.

The cool, cool book was cool – but the cinema book is even more cooler. Because it is not read, but seen with my (your) own eyes!

Reading is the suck. Except for my reviews.

First (since she is the lead and smoking hot) Jennifer Lawrence is to win every award of acting. Only her “overly large for a starving girl” boobs were a distraction.

Sometimes it is good to be distracted.

Woody Harrelson as the drunken Haymitch reminds me of me when the Kossu flows and I become the state of drunk.

As the badass leader, Donald Sutherland is old and must like mothballs and kidney medication smell – because he is old. The boys gave me jealousy for their nearness to Katniss.

Gale (Liam Hemsworth – why is a 30 year old up for the 12-18 year old Reaping? He is older than Haymitch. Weird.) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) both have inner stiffies for Katniss, but only Peeta gets too close for my comfort. And yours. She is mine.

Other actors were also good to acting: Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley (excellent face beard!), all greatness.

The directing Director – Gary Ross – was also the shit.

Battle scenes were with less blood flowing than the book, but more real blood than that “Twilight” crap that was smeared on my brain last year.

Hoping for the R rated directors cut on Blu-ray with many limbs cut to pieces.

Now, just wait on Hollywood with no originality or even an idea. Remake of “The Hunger.” Another movie of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.” Movie from board game “Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

For now, just go see “The Hunger Games.”

Have I mentioned that Jennifer Lawrence is hot? She is fully formed (and not 16 – at least in this world)!

Any bad?

Only if you are so stuck up that reading is cool and you remember the book. SPOILERS! Mutations looked like “Twilight” wolves for retards (redundant). Where were the tongue-less freak Avox people (movie foul!)? Foxface needed lines (hot for fox (redundant), yet not Jennifer).

That’s it. Not bad.

Verdict?

Two thumbs up… no joke here. Although District 12 brings Finland into my head, I still have the love on.

May the odds be ever in your favor – except for “Twilight”… that shit can die in a fire.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “The Voice” may be the thing for T.V. to watch. Erin Martin? Advancing in singing competition with looks? I loveAmerica!!!

Tag: Glynna Grimala

Paranormal Activity 4 [REVIEW]

The Hunger Games [REVIEW]