Heidi Brook Myers – Behind the Proscenium

American Reunion

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Kimmo was in trouble.

Big trouble.

Last week I had super cool “Wrath of the Titans” review that I made.

Then the dumbness strikes.

I e-mail copy of review to my Uncle Tukka who is in living outside of the Helsinki – not to Kyrle, who is the editor that manages these things.

I have screwed Straight Up (like Paula Abdul!). Kyrle has made a rule that is new: Kossu shots OR bong loads, not Kossu shots AND bong loads.

This is fair, in my heart and in my head thoughts. I know that booze is good. So is the sweet, sweet smoke.

Together? I begin to be a Greeter Man at WalMart.

Sorry to my 15 loyal readers. I feel shame.

Now – for a movie!

And what a goddamn good time for a movie to have! I was very worrisome.

Every time Hollywood touches my past it is “the wrong touch.”

But “American Reunion?” I am sporting a Stifler!

Really. I am not kidding.

Plot? Sure!

All of our “American Pie” friends come back – 13 year reunions are important in America.

So, like locusts on Egypt they return. Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) are married with kid attached. Oz (Chris Klein) works at crap ESPN channel. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is worldly in many ways. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is whipped by Gossip Girls. Stifler (Seann William Scott) is… you will see as moments come by.

All are older, some are bigger in the wise area, some are better now as people than as high school students.

We see a penis.

Craps are taken in places where craps have never been before (so I hope).

Chicks that were once to be sat on as babies are now so hot for drooling.

Lies are lied.

Love is kindled (from the past) then rekindled – like fire!

Life is tested… some pass, others think they are taking another test (true story – remember old joke about Norwegian who stayed up all night studying for his urine test? NEVER GETS OLD!!!).

Many happy faces from the past float on the screen. We (I) smile.

I missed my “American Franchise” friends.

But sometimes, expectations are face rubbed in gravel.

The surprise that surprised me was too surprising. This is a movie about a Stifler.

I will now, out of my mouth (computer mouth) say – “Seann William Scott is the most funny comic actor of the last 20 years.” His eyeballs tell stories.

He makes sounds that my heart go a kind of “chugga-chugga”, in that straight “chugga-chugga” way. He is the man (boy) that my aspirations were looking at when I was the young.

Now he is complete. I feel, now, to be complete, too.

Jim’s father (Eugene Levy) deserves some kind of outing. He, now widowed, is still the father we wanted (without the Pie fucking advice – that was a metaphor anyhow – Jim was kind of a dumbness).

Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge) has many more lines (on face and on script).

She must still be done. And done again.

Vicky (Tara Reid) is now a zombie – but hotter than any zombie on “The Walking Dead”. It was good to see her. But not for too long.

And Heather (Mena Suvari) has learned to cover her forehead (or 8-head, if we’re going by the thing’s size) with bangs. She is now to be whacked to – in a pinch.

So, two thumbs straining to heaven – which is warm pie!

I am in love with “American Reunion.” Laughs were barked out of my mouth and Dr. Pepper flew through my nose and on the critic to my front place (sorry, Peter Travers).

But never in the life that I live would I thought that I would be in Stifler love.

And I am. Like an American!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “American Idol” is the suck. I will now only watch “The Voice”. Or anything. Please comment on things that I may watch without Kosso AND bong loads. In advance – thank you!!!

“Warrior”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Things are getting heavy.

Summer is at an almost end.

If not for 3D Sharks, I would be singing the award movie song – like internet Karaoke.

Not just yet!

Ass kicking flies from the screen – and into your head.

And it has a name:

“Warrior”.

From time to time, by the merest chance, you come across a film carried by the combat sport that nevertheless manages to find the right balance between drama and action and more importantly (if you’re REALLY lucky), with more drama than action that it becomes a backdrop for everything else.

And then the action has it’s own drama, which makes the action dramatic-er. For it is only when the fighting is justified by a compelling scenario that they become emotionally more intense and rewarding.

Right? Right.

“Warrior” refers to a world of mixed martial arts where the gladiators of the modern clash in a hexagonal cage both feet on the ground, due to gravity.

The creation of an international tournament imagination, “Sparta”, will on the same trajectory Paddy (Nick Nolte), Brendan (Joel Edgerton) and Tom Conlon (Tom Hardy), which are all part of a family torn apart and removed in the past through an excess of favoritism and neglect.

I’m not afraid to say that.

Tom resurfaced in the company to get the help of his father, recovering alcoholic in passing (not recovering in real life), to the physical and mental training for participation in the tournament.

In parallel, Brendan returns sweat in the halls of fighting in the hope of winning the award of $5 million to restore interest in life to his family in need.

I could restore my own interest in life for much less that $5 million – settling for $1.5. Maybe just $1.

However, as would more or less expected, although these two mad dogs will face some of the toughest fighters that MMA has created, the real battle appears to be in them. At each other.

Paddy is fighting for the forgiveness of his son, Tom is fighting to prove to himself that he is strong physically and mentally, and Brendan is struggling to reconcile with his family.

I was fighting the popcorn (note to theater managers – melted butter flavored Crisco is not a substitute for real butter. My mouth is stuck together still with a bad 70’s bathhouse flavor.).

Each brother has his own reasons respectable to face combat, reasons that will divide the audience when it comes time to choose to support one or other of the brother’s finalists.

For its part, the scenario is almost epic, presented in a very committed. Almost epic. Remember this.

Gradually, through his dialogues, we see the past events of this family torn apart and motivations of characters to keep such hatred in them are revealed gradually. This drama is of course made possible and given credibility by the immense talent of these three headliners.

All three, each in their ways, infusing their characters an unwavering charisma. Wavering charisma just wouldn’t cut it and makes sit-coms intolerable.

Nick Nolte had not been touched since the long, very long years (literally – his last mug-shot has him stuck to the internet porn now, and luckily it is free), Tom Hardy, appearing more monstrous than ever physically (biceps!), proves once again that the method of the Method Acting has not finished dazzle us, and in between, Joel Edgerton has not to be ashamed of its performance even if he has to work extra hard not to give way completely opposite to its partners, and in doing so, not suck too much.

Only on the horizon, the role of Jennifer Morrison is under-exploited (Captain Kirk’s mom!) and Nick Nolte seems to have been somewhat forgotten in the last third.

The final could also have been treated differently but how to avoid clichés with a subject that is a cliché in itself (two brothers confronting end up in the same tournament). But a cliché used in the service of a cliché within a cliché? Genius.

Therefore it is appropriate to say that overall, the director is doing very well.

Although much entertained (still angry at the popcorn – screw you, Crisco!) my thumbs aren’t engaged to the level of my brain stem.

Still, the thumbs are fighting gravity to the sky.

“Warrior” is cool.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. My mind wanders around Patty Smyth. This would make a better movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIDaBF8LILk

The dancers know Bob Fosse Kung Fu!!!!!!

P.P.S. (What is the rule?) Fall TV! Fringe in two weeks! Where is Peter? Or… where isn’t he?!? Guesses are appreciated!

Tag: Heidi Brook Myers

American Reunion [REVIEW]

Warrior [REVIEW]