Idris Elba – Behind the Proscenium

June 8, 2012June 8, 2012

Prometheus [REVIEW]

Prometheus

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“Prometheus!”

Finally!

I gathered my supplies – for movie ogling and note taking, sweet sticky bud smoked in my car.

The a large coke.

No popcorn.

The greasy corn turns my note sheets into transparent unreading mush.

Now for reviewing I drink the kossu.

But trouble is in a dangling Damocles sword over my head.

So much kossu has been in my mouth hole that I must get a liver ultrasound tomorrow!

How is this can possible?

Is this the end for Kimmo?

Is this the end for kossu?

I am the bummer… but wow – “Prometheus!”

Considered one of the great directors in 30 years, has in some of the best films in the field of science fiction (and others) and with each new film attracts audiences from simple village idiots to up hardcore cinephiles.

His name is Ridley Scott and has nothing to prove anything anymore.

Except for “Gladiator.”

That movie was more the funny than “Monty Python And The Holy Grail” but still a shit log.

The legendary “Alien” is undoubtedly the expected movies of the year and shortly before he had released the movie trailer was enough to cause a frenzy of fans.

And geeks are frenzied bunch!

Virgins can get nasty.

Plot? Hells yeah!

The mythical Prometheus created the first humans from clay and fire (made sense while stoned – now suspect).

The spacecraft “Prometheus”, Scott starts from the realm of uncertainty to come to the eternal mystery of the origin of the first man.

The theories on the creation of man from the aliens are not new, their roots hold thousands of years since man began to think consciously and carved on the walls.

Conscious men never got their deposits back.

Do not carve on the walls.

Or let your cat pee on the carpet.

From the first minutes of the film and the spectacular opening of the thirsty viewer (a large coke is quickly drunken when the sweet bud is in my head) is confronted with all these unanswered questions in a 3D world (damn, 3D that worked!) abundant charm and a spectacle that nourishes the eye and excites the imagination.

The work done in special effects and generally in all the scenery is truly worthy of attention and the most rigorous and demanding audience.

Also the cast of Scott in the film include Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron as “robot” and “ruthless woman” respectively and are highly successful.

Charlize has given me two cinematic boners in my pants this year.

This is a good year for Kimmo!

Noomi Rapace is the good. No shit.

She is the girl in a shrink-to-fit-with-blow-dryer space suit that showed her a good ass actor.

So confusion comes. Is this cinematic boner for Noomi or Charlize?

Do I really care?

So, two thumbs throbbing like my love of the Charl-oomi.

I want. And then I want more.

The view is the almost obligatory to all lovers of science fiction and general lovers of the dark room.

Go see this thing.

Twice.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Game of Thrones” season 2 in the books. We have White Walkers in Finland. We call them “drunk relatives in the snow.” They are less scary in Finland but smell worse. Now, back to my bong and the worry thoughts that will bring me to tomorrow. If I must not drink of the kossu, is live worth living? These thoughts must be thought.

February 17, 2012

Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor, Scott M. Gimple, Seth Hoffman, David S. Goyer, Nicolas Cage, Violante Placido, Ciaran Hinds, Idris Elba, Johnny Whitworth, Fergus Riordan, Spencer Wilding, Sorin Tofan, Jacek Koman, Anthony Head, Christian Iacob, Christopher Lambert, Jai Stefan, Vincent Regan, Ionut Cristian Lefter, Will Ashcroft, Sabina Branduse, Tobias Ojerfalk, Adina Galupa, Alin Panc, Ashok Amritraj, Ari Arad, Avi Arad, Stefan Brunner, Michael De Luca, Gary Foster, Manu Gargi, Mark Steven Johnson, Steven Paul, E. Bennett Walsh, David Sardy, Brandon Trost, Brian Berdan, Colin Jones, Gail Stevens, Kevin Phipps, Adrian Curelea, Serban Porupca, Justin Warburton-Brown, Dominic Capon, Bojana Nikitovic, Lisa Buscher, Daniela Busoiu, Adelina Popa, Adrian Conerth, Bogdan Moncea, Simona Dinu, Sean Guest, Mircea Hategan, james Andrew Haven, Deb Adair, Jamy Kim, Peter Jurca, Drew King, Jarrett Lee, Steve Mele, Pat Sarrel, Lee Adamson, Rick English, Daniel Visan, Nick Baxter, Clint Bennett, Kier Lehman, Patrick Aiello, Vasile Anghel, Razvan Badea, Andra Barbuica, Susan Bliss, Alexandru Bogdan, Madalina Bugeanu, Ana Ramona Damiean, Alina David, Ecaterina Dinu, Mike Doughtery, Monica Duta, Marius Florescu, Miruna Gheorghiu, Melis Gobekcioglu, Toygar Ilik, Kahraman Kavas, Fiona Landreth, Melanie Lawrence, Scott Levine, Peter Moses, Neda Pavlovic, Paul Pawlowski, Irina Raducanu, Irina Scurt, Daniela Soare, Eve Swannell, Sarah Zyke, Monica Urziceanu

Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Many apologies for the writing lack for two weeks.

Fluffy the Wonder Ferret, greatest animal in history, crossed the Rainbow Bridgeand now feasts on ferret food with Jesus – and other ferrets who also have caught the death.

I took time away from the critic things.

I cried, baby style. Then I cried again.

Why?

Because on the returning to work I found I get to review “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.”

Who is the Ghost Rider?

Did you see even the first one?

He is Marvel’s darkest hero. A hell of a biker (joke!), a sort of hybrid man-demon who fights with the forces of Lucifer as the good guy. This is with a burning skull head and no face – which is cool after many sweet, sweet bong loads.

Without the bonging, not so much.

Remember?

Or, like me, did you erase your mind of the first one? I’ll refresh you.

Once Johnny Blaze sold his soul to the devil, and won only sufferer until he managed to outwit Satan similarly and to keep the forces of the Riders for themselves to use them for good.

This confuses.

Remember?

Ends approximately in the way “Ghost Rider” to unleash the first attempt in the year 2007, the demonic biker on the big screen. Managed to cartoonish staging it but not really convincing.

Too much slapstick, romance and – if one disregards the Lucifer-esque performance by Peter Fonda – an opponent who seemed so threatening, like a teen boy-band member

Whether it should then be a sequel, especially under the contribute by Nicolas Cage, was long doubtful until the end – but were still 75 million reasons to shoot a sequel, and let heat with Cage-head inflamed again over the marble pavement (on a motorcycle. No shit!).

Plot? Here we go!

This time is somewhere in Eastern Europe, a sect of devil worshipers after a boy (Fergus Riordan) go, which brings extraordinary occult powers in itself.

To defend this guy, a secret society of warrior monks (bad-assery!) swore. The Satanists, led by its top guru (Ciaran Hinds) have taken hold of the boy. Now, only the Ghost Rider can help.

Johnny Blaze (I was blazed, let me tell you) lives in seclusion, however, and would again be a demon in any way. Moreau (Idris Elba), one of the warrior monks, succeeds him then but still convincing – after all, it’s again about beating the devil’s trick – and off you go.

Wheee!

Even if one wants to be on the first part, it had at least still something of a plot and a few original ideas.

Peter Fonda was also off a fabulously smug Lucifer, the lovely Eva Mendes (schwing!) is already a well-bred eye-catching and Sam Elliott’s (“the Dude abides”!) performances were always kind of cult.

All this gave the previous charm, something that “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” completely lacks.

The figures, like Idris Elba, Ciaran Hinds and even Christopher Lambert in a brief guest appearance, get far too little opportunity which would be able to see to it. Right? Right.

So, this Ghost Rider gets one limp thumb – limp as Fluffy the Wonder Ferret before the rigor mortis gave him a stiff.

At least it wasn’t in 3-D (the movie – ferrets are always in 3-D). I’m off to smoke for Fluffy and for more the crying…

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “American Idol” needs more hot chicks – and less passing out during “Hollywood Week.” Or more passing out. I’m undecided. But definitely more hot chicks.

May 2, 2011May 31, 2011

Thor

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kenneth Branagh, Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, Don Payne, J. Michael Straczynski, Mark Protosevich, Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby, Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgard, Kat Dennings, Clark Gregg, Idris Elba, Colm Feore, Ray Stevenson, Tadanobu Asano, Josh Dallas, Jaimie Alexander, Rene Russo, Adriana Barraza, Maximiliano Hernandez, Richard Cetrone, Darren Kendrick, Joshua Cox, Justice Smith, Joseph Gatt, Luke Massy, Matthew David Ducey, Jason Camp, Buddy Sosthand, Blake Silver, Jamie McShane, Dale Godboldo, Patrick O'Brien Demsey, Jim Palmer, Seth Coltan, Ryan Schaefer, Matt Battaglia, Joel McCrary, Isaac Kappy, Juliet Lopez, Rob Mars, Carrie Lazar, Harley Graham, Alexander Wright, Hilary Pringle, Shawn-Caulin Young, Kinsey McLean, Kelly Hawthorne, Dakota Goyo, Ted Allpress, Samuel L. Jackson, Jeremy Renner, Victoria Alonso, Mike Bodkin, Louis D'Esposito, Kevin Feige, Debra James, Craig Kyle, David Maisel, Patricia Whitcher, Patrick Doyle, Haris Zambarloukos, Paul Rubell, Sarah Finn, Bo Welch, Pierre Buffin, Debra James, Ben Grayson, Grit Menzzer

Dear readers, as I am still under the weather – and still getting used to living in sunny (too sunny) and beautiful (too beautiful) Los Angeles – I am happy to, once again, allow Kimmo Mustonenen to write a guest review. Here is Kimmo with a very brilliant take on Hollywood’s newest 3D blockbuster – THOR! Go, Kimmo… Go!

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Thor

By Kimmo Mustonenen

The film follows the powerful but arrogant warrior Thor, who is diagnosed from hubris at the beginning of the film. When he puts the entire Asgard in danger as he becomes manliest and refers to the earth in which he loses all his powers and becomes merely a human being again.

To begin with, I think that Thor was a very entertaining action movie, not too many working one-liners that otherwise very often seen in American action movies. The leading role in Thor played by Chris Hemsworth is a relatively new actress with not too many films under his belt, some may recognize him from the Star Trek movie? Or A Perfect Getaway? The role of the arrogant Thor is he doing well in all cases and is looking forward to see when he takes the role of Thor again in the upcoming movie The Avengers.

The girl in this film is played by none other than Natalie Portman, as you probably memorable seen in films such as No Strings Attached or Black Swan, and soon you will be able to see her in the comedy film Your Highness. But Thor, Natalie Portman plays the role of a physicist who studies the theory that they may arise portals “wormholes” between our world and other worlds. In the midst of her studies she runs goes without saying at Thor when he is sent off to Earth and the sparks hit almost directly between the two.

Then, we must not forget the wise Anthony Hopkins, who may assume the role of Odin in the film, however, he is active only barely half the movie. But he takes the role of the strict parent who just wants best for their children very well, much better than he did with his role in the film The Rite. Last and almost least, has Stellan Skarsgård a role in the movie Thor, not the biggest but not the least, he played Eric Selva in the film is friends with Natalie Portman’s character.

One last thing about film is that it really did not need to be in 3D, there is nothing in the film directly, which brings together a “wowie” feeling just because it is 3D.

In my opinion, was the movie where as good if not better without 3D. So you went and saw the movie, arrived late and tell me what you thought? Was it good? Lived it up to your expectations? Was it necessary that the film was in 3D?

Please comment!

Kimmo Mustonenen
Follow @KimmoMustonenen