James Nesbitt – Behind the Proscenium

The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

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Here are the facts:

The Fellowship of the Ring – Book pages 432 – Film minutes 2:58

The Two Towers- Book pages 352 – Film minutes 2:59

Return of the King- Book pages 512 – Film minutes 3:21

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The Hobbit – Book pages 300

Now for the movies.

The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey – 2:49

The Hobbit – Desolation of Smaug – 2:41

The Hobbit – Ka-ching!!! – Who the hell knows?

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So, The Lord of the Rings – Book pages 1296, Total Time 9:18

The Hobbit – Book pages 300, Total Time (so far) 5:30

‘Nuff said.

Are we still there for the caring?

I am done.

How long can this go on?

The Hobbit (Kim Kardashian) continues on its quest.

Things go on forever. BUT, 3-D IMAX made my pants a place for the peeing.

Awesome!!

Go see it.

You will if I do or if I do not say the right things.

As much as thinking Peter Jackson drools over money, the film still makes the mind flop on itself.

Good work, moneygrubber!!!

In other ways, go see “Afternoon Delight.” Independent films make on feel the smarter.

This is the time of year when Hollywood makes the liking of Hollywood seem like the boning of one’s sister.

Kind of hot. Totally sleazy.

If Hollywood was a man, “The Hobbit” would have been 10 movies.

Hollywood – you are a pussy.

So…Two thumbs up.

Made up story is still good story. IMAX 3-D is still IMAX 3-D.

Hey, Hollywood whoredom works. I must deal with this.

See this three times.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Now for brain expanding Vonnegut (Dead Eye Dick – 1982 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadeye_Dick) – “We all see our lives as stories, it seems to me, and I am convinced that psychologists and sociologists and historians and so on would find it useful to acknowledge that. If a person survives an ordinary span of sixty years or more, there is every chance that his or her life as a shapely story has ended, and that all the remains to be experienced is the epilogue. Life is not over, but the story is.

Some people, of course, find inhabiting an epilogue so uncongenial that they commit suicide.

P.P.S. “Survivor” finale on Sunday! Whoop dee whoop!!

Coriolanus

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

What?

Not 100% CGI?

No robot alien things?

Am I high (yes, I am)?

Then soldiers. My brain screams – You are within the stuck times of “Battle: Los Angeles!”

The worst of fates that mine could be… to have.

But no.

Winter’s cold has made me for to shrivel (in my man place).

Summer is for the confrontation of the ear (and mind – or mindlessness).

Now is for brain flexing cinema.

Thanks, Odin.

Plot? Sure!

An angry crowd in a clean-rehearsed choreography calls for bread of the armed military men guarding a bread factory (which makes bread).

A squad of soldiers with heavy artillery and camouflage uniforms (sharp!) stormed a housing estate and speaks in blank verse.

Shakespeare meets Balkan war – Ralph Fiennes directorial debut “Coriolanus” (heh, anus) transports the Elizabethan drama in the time and now it is dead right.

Massive, violent and bloody, this film – and psychologically subtle and finely worked, not least thanks to the wonderful language of William Shakespeare (he speaks of English from his mouth-place worse than I – lucky for the press kit or in the wilderness my thoughts were straying).

Fiennes, who plays Coriolanus, the excellent and very nuanced itself, and especially Vanessa Redgrave as the mother of the hero know the language to use (English, but still not right – I still confuse my own thoughts) – but even the minor characters are occupied very solid.

How alive do these lines, the power and magic in the age-old phrases is, if only the right people interpret it (I pretend that it made sense to me – clever)!

In the past, some directors have transported Shakespeare to the present day (or yesterday – confusion remains) – and usually the result was at least interesting.

Fiennes has landed “Coriolanus” a really big throw. Yes – THROW!

The story is told quickly: the Romans wage war against the Volscians (but not the same Volscians from “Star Trek”) – Coriolanus (heh), the Roman commander gains a bloody victory and to be in gratitude for consul.

Unfortunately, this little man of war, civil fine sense (? – what the hell, I will stop drinking), the common people is repugnant to him (they should bathe more often). Thus arises as soon opposed his appointment and must Coriolanus into exile.

Here he teams up with former arch-enemy, the leader of the Volscians (Gerald Butler, not Leonard Nimoy – disappoint), and moves with him to Rome.

The insanity of war and the inability of a soldier to survive in peace, are the pillars of this tragic drama. But the dialectic of hatred and admiration to homoerotic (no judgment) undertones between the two antagonists provides an additional voltage level (electric!).

Conclusion: Two thumbs yelling “Yippee! I’m not in the childish shit wallowing!”

Warning – this will involve your thinking brain. And your hearing ears. It is not shit. This is for brain-flexing. Sweet, sweet relief!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Speaking of Star Trek Volscians, I must a joke:

How is the U.S.S. Enterprise like a wad of toilet paper?

They both wipe out Klingons around Uranus.

Or your Coriol-anus.

I laugh at this still.

Tag: James Nesbitt

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Coriolanus [REVIEW]