Jeff Skoll – Behind the Proscenium

Lincoln

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Nothing can bring the fear.

Nothing like the season of the fjord.

We are not lucky (unlucky) in fjords.

We are not Norway.

Sweden not, too, as well (Swedes are pussies so this is in the OK zone).

Yet the tragedy comes. Like winter.

More family drowning while trying to defeat cod.

The cod fight so hard, the winning may never happen.

Yet, I will eat their deep fried flesh. And the herring’s picked bodies.

I am a Finn.

I will fight the fish.

And I will eat.

Why all of this?

Another Mustonenen down. In the drink. Davey Jones’ locker, breathing water until the end.

Sadness makes my brain say “Hells no, ‘Silver Linings Playbook’, when my family has a dead member. Bradley Cooper is still an asshole. And Jennifer Lawrence cannot be lusted after without Jesus being bummed. Thanks for the cock block Jesus.”

So, “Lincoln.”

Plot? Are you giving me the kids?

In the Middle Ages, America chose its leader by height. Lincoln was taller than hell. So he became King of America.

Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis) used his height to look down (like a God) and could somehow read the thoughts of those who were his enemies/friends.

Except he married The Flying Nun before she became annoying (retards, look up the reference).

Finally, America likes her. They really, really like her. But she is a bitch ass shrew. With hair from “Star Wars – Episode 4” (if you’re a nerd who has never kissed a girl or tasted a teat – to real people just damn “Star Wars”).

Anyway, the tallest man in America (who always had a helium suck before talking – squeak – where was James Earl Jones?) held the cards for political poker.

Then the entire movie started to seem like “Midnight Poker” on ESPN. With fake facial hair that could an automobile be purchased.

Luckily, an alcoholic puff-ball named James Spader showed up to make me want to have the drinking of the Kossu and the sweet, sweet smoke.

I had both.

And Tommy Lee Jones had the best hair in the America since Phil Spector. Yet there were no restaurant deaths. Too bad. His love for his woman made things boring.

So, tons of bad hair of the face.

Sweet Jesus, has nothing advanced since “Gettysburg” (worst face hair ever!)?

And casting Bruce McGill… genius, if only for his appearance in best history ever, “FDR: American Badass.” My world would have been completed if he only said, face to camera – “He’s Abraham Lincoln, motherfucker!”

Steven Spielberg has no balls. I believe they belong to Amy Irving.

Thumbs? Pretty damn up. Daniel Day-Lewis plays tall better than any man since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in “Game of Death.”

I truly in my mind believe that the tallest man (so the greatest man) in America was Abraham Lincoln. He allowed black people to talk and kung-fu Bruce Lee in the chest.

It is a weave that does tangle that American cinema weaves.

My mind is mush. I go back and forth between great cinema and another Finnish family death.

Oh well, Finland can take it in the anal pore. I am an American now and forever. And if tall people rule – well, then Daniel Day-Lewis is my leader forever. He stayed up late and told stories.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Game of Thrones” in three, maybe four months. My excitement hurts. Winter is coming! If my words have no meaning then your mind is potato. Seriously.

“The Help”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“The Help” is funny and touching (right in the heart chamber) adaptation of the novel of the same title published in 2009 by Kathryn Stockett.

How come it took so long to hang the book on the screen? I laugh at me.

Sockett’s book, a success in the Anglo market, makes a young American, “Skeeter” Phelan, whose relationship with two African-American women raised early sixties, a key cheerful and endearing, which was the movement Civil Rights in that country.

Was ever a more cheerful time?

With their impeccable debut film adaptation behind the camera to actor Tate Taylor, under whom works an excellent cast led by Emma Stone (“Easy A” – hubba!), Mike Vogel, Bryce Dallas Howard (she kicked my butt in “Terminator: Salvation”, even with red hair), Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer and Allison Janney (CJ in “The West Wing” and voice in those annoying Kaiser-Permanente commercials – I don’t want to thrive, alright?!?).

Broadly speaking, the script preserves the essential novel by Kathryn Stockett and gets carried away by the personality of three unforgettable characters: Aibileen Clark (Viola Davis), an African-American middle-aged white babysitter (white babies, Aibilieen is not white – this is important later), shattered by the loss of a son, Jackson Minny (Octavia Spencer), another black maid who dreams of a stable job (one that lasts awhile, not with horses), and Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone), the young graduate and aspiring writer who returns home and realizes that certain prejudices weigh like a millstone.

Except when you’re hot.

Set in Jackson, Mississippi, “The Help” portrays, through the comedy of manners and the intimate drama, the complicated emotional relationship plotted between white and black (no gray area here) communities throughout the sixties, just at that stage in which, happily, it all started to change.

Except for poor George Wallace. He wasn’t happy at all.

The success of this production will not surprise those who know the reputation that precedes the novel by Kathryn Stockett (if I write her name three times I get a free Kindle! Success!), a delightful book, which was rejected by sixty literary agents before they achieved the feat that is already on his lapel (contortionists – before you make letters, I know “feat” and “feet” are not the same. I’m from Finland, not Retardia.), selling five million copies and remain one hundred weeks on the bestseller list of The New York Times.

With Emma Stone and Viola Davis hired for the main roles, the rest of the casting was a relatively simple task. Throw a copy of the book down Sunset, hit an actor head-wise and “you’re in a movie!” Invented by Soderbergh. Genius.

And what about the atmosphere? This is another chapter in which the film succeeds completely (although it can’t really be seen – much like the air atmosphere we breath).

To preserve the spirit of the age and local color, the team moved to Greenwood, Mississippi.

Parts of the film also took place Jackson,Clarksdale and Greenville. Undoubtedly, all contribute to the feeling of breathing the whole truth. And being surrounded by hicks.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. The Glee Project?!? WTF?!?! Lindsay, if you need comfort, contact me at Manka Bros. You have made Ginnifer Goodwin no longer exist on me. Forever.

Tag: Jeff Skoll

Lincoln [REVIEW]

The Help [REVIEW]