Total Recall [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane Spencer

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerTotal Recall

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Son of a bitch.

My working life is now my life of my life.

Sometimes the pain is so much, that there is howling where none is wanted.

Was I kicked in the right ball?

Stabbed in the lower right gut, pain flashing like a flashing pain light?

Made like the Lohan, when she moans the “Coke has run out” moan?

No.

Life life = kidney stone.

Pee that looks like oil of the motor, pain that is for the yelling until the sweet, sweet Dilauded in my new vein hole makes me the smiling man.

Pain is for the drug-free. I like drugs.

Work life = “Total Recall.”

Really?

Has the farting monkey classic “Ed” already been re-animated?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerHollywood, if there was a God with a shit to give you would all have the ball pain that made me Mr. Vicodin.

I think watching Colin Ferrell, take on the Arnold head a major crap, would have been O.K. if I was still Mr. Vicodin.

Or Mr. Kossu. Or Mr. Lemon Skunk Sativa.

Just being Mr. Kimmo made me cry.

Plot?  There was one, in 1990.  And it was good.

Now, white bread crap fest.

“Total Recall” and no Mars.  I see.

Now is the time to re-do, yet take out all that made the first to be made.

Smart!

Sony, way to be!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerReplace Arnold with boring Colin – check.

Replace Sharon Stone with a boring (but hot) vampire chick – check.

Interesting stuff replaced with same old crap – check.

Three-breasted woman – check.

I have seen the trailer – I have seen the movie.

Sony, my butt is for the kissing… get back there, pucker up, I like tongue!

That is all to say about this nothing pile. No reason to exist, no reason to write about it.

Rent it – smoke the sweet Sativa – eat Cheetos – maybe nap.  Check out the Beckin-butt (Kate Beckinsale).

But… that is all.

Please Odin, give me another stone for the passing before my eyeballs must hurt my brain with another crappy re-do. Please.

Now, that is all.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  You, the children, who want to watch movies for the money all day and night like Kimmo?  This is the shit that is your 90%. Study dentistry. Less pain all around.

P.P.S.  Olympics.  Why do the flippy pre-pubescent girls get the ratings?  Why not the beach ladies with the ass crack assaulting shorts? That is entertainment! And Ryan Seacrest must be stopped. Before he multiplies! Hey Sony, there’s an idea that’s not a remake. Assholes.

New Year’s Eve [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg Wilson

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonNew Year’s Eve

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

New Year’s Eve.

Really?

A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York).

Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the most important parameter which moves the narrative academic standards (I’m so high), and we are in the New Year’s Eve and all shows on first sight cheerful and festive.

Bullshit.

So, is it better than “The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)”?

No.  Hell no.

The characters through many emotional and less comical situations are easily predictable in a pleasant but dull (like an AM/PM hamburger, yummy, and yet gross) in the whole movie follows the same recipe last year’s “Valentine’s Day” by the same director (Garry Marshall – who has giant big teeth… creepy).

That “little bit of everything” – loves all types and ages.

Here of course the nature of the celebration that unites or reunites families (as opposed to“Valentine’s Day” where we saw first young love, but without guilt and boners) seeing traumatic relationships and people in crisis who are required to overcome the wounds of the past or to retrieve media a second chance (like you, Kyrle – your obsession with pecs was your undoing – I said it!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonUsually the New Year people make “self” for their mistakes and set goals for the new (or drunk, and then the regret, and then the pregnancy).

Experiential endoscopy – I think – makes the standing on the story of New YORK’S Eve – sorry, New YEAR’S Eve.

The story of an estranged, and severe ill father (Robert De Niro – he must pay the bills, poor bastard) of Hillary Swank (no character name that I remember but major boobs), responsible for the celebration in Times Square (she fails) is typical of the dramatic tone that introduces us to the plot of Big Tooth Man Director and the character of Michelle Pfeiffer (yes!) who give up everything for to live within a few hours, as did a whole life, shows that things do not always go as we dream, chasing unrealistic time.

(This is an homage to The Talking Heads, from me, Kimmo Mustonenen  I’m pretty high.)

The melancholy touches, however, is temporary and as time is pressing everyone to catch up to complete the remaining issues created some grotesque comic situations such as the birth of babies(!) by Jessica Biel.  I guess Timberlake finally got busy.  Tap it, Justin!

It is gratifying to planning something carefully and setting goals which will then happen by hard effort, but some things make nature itself …as twins.

WTF?!?

Can arrange a time for a natural phenomenon?  With the help of technology, perhaps!

(This is an homage to DEVO.  Holy crap, I may never come down!)

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, New Year's Eve, Garry Marshall, Katherine Fugate, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Charlotte Marshall-Fricker, Fiona Choi, Mary Marguerite Keane, Michael Mandell, Patrick Reale, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Barbara Marshall, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Sarah Paulson, Til Schweiger, Carla Gugino, Amber Bela Muse, Peter Allen Vogt, Ross Ryman, Kal Parekh, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Serena Poon, Sarge, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, James Belushi, Lillian Lifflander, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Jake T. Austin, Mara Davi, Jacklyn Miller, Cassidy Reiff, Nat Wolff, Kendra Jain, Julia Randall, Christian Fortune, Tatyana Disla, Chealy Phoung, Marvin Braverman, Alexandra Guthy, Denise Violante, Katherine McNamara, Norman Bukofzer, Beth Kennedy, Josh Duhamel, Joey McIntyre, Jackie Seiden, Sean O'Bryan, Larry Miller, Jack McGee, Yeardley Smith, Benjamin McGowan, Jon-Christian Costable, Juliette Allen-Angelo, Penny Marshall, Drena De Niro, Vanessa Mendoza, Christine Lakin, Sandra Taylor, Shea Curry, Earl Rose, Johnny DeBrito, Samuel E. Mitchell, Amare Stoudemire, Cherry Jones, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Kathleen Marshall, Joey Sorge, Rob Nagle, Matthew Walker, Wedil David, David Valcin, Stephanie Fabian, Patrick Collins, Pat Battle, Tom Hines, Greg Wilson, Hector Elizondo, Anna White, Sam Marshall, Susan Silver, Emily Moss Wilson, Bob Weston, Lucy Woodwar, Stephanie Alexander, Nicole Michele Sobchack, Anna Kulinova, Ryle J. Neale, Lily Marshall-Fricker, Lori Marshall, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Broderick, Angel Dillemuth, Rosemary Howard, Ryss, Richard Brener, Toby Emmerich, Heather Hall, Mike Karz, Diana Pokomy, Wayne Allan Rice, Josie Rosen, John Debney, Charles Minsky, Michael Tronick, Amanda Mackey Johnson, Cathy Sandrich, Mark Friedberg, Kim Jennings, Gary Jones, Vivian Baker, Jerry DeCarlo, Michelle Morrissey, Diana Pokomy, David Catalano, Alyssa Frankel, Jennifer Roberts, David Venghaus, Kimberly Harris, Ric Schnupp, Jon Taylor, Chris Barnes, William Cote, Declan Mulvey, Kat Spiess, Jodi Ameson, Kimberly Arnold, Kelley Beaman, Katie Bova, Beverly Cole, Jen Day, Sam Day, Carol DePasquale, John Edmundson, Toni Embry, Lindsay Feldman, Julie Kuehndorf, Ruben Malaret, Vanessa Mendoza, Julia Muggia, Chelsea Shanders, Marisa Taylor, Canella Williams, Emily Moss Wilson, Peter Pamela Rose, Greg WilsonThis is not, damage to the “countdown to the ball” in the Times Square of New York causes a confusion in the already fragile nature of the Swankster (she said I could call her that), but the right decision to put the right person for the repair of the short time until midnight (an electrician who had been dismissed in the past) shows that, in some relationships inevitably “make cycle”.

(This is an homage to my bong.  Son of a bitch.  I’m wasted.)

Then there is the shit-ton avalanche of other stars: Ashton Kutcher (The Cougar Tamer), Lea Michelle (Playskool’s “My First Streisand”), Sarah Jessica Parker (My Little Pony), Abigail Breslin (Why Are You In This Shit?), Halle Barry (Another Razzie?) and Zac Efron (“It’s a trap!”).

This is a soup lesson.

How?

You want a soup to make.  You have ingredients for the soup in the millions.  You know in reality the best soup?  Maybe five ingredients.  Maybe ten.

Instead, all ingredients go into the soup.

All millions.

And the soup?  Shit.

You have now spent time and treasure to create shit soup.

And the name of your shit soup?

New Year’s Eve.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Soon I will see Charlize Theron in “Young Adult”Ginnifer Goodwin, you are so out of my mind (in the not good way).

P.P.S.  I’m so fried.  I have a total hard-on for the Flame Flavored Cheeto.  Tell me the favorite of your high Cheeto in the comments!  Damn, I’m hungry.

What?