Battleship [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. Smith

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBattleship 

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Once again, the youth is easy picking for the child predators.

Our youth be the memories.

The predator?

Hollywood.

Again.

B4 – Hit!  But in an inappropriate way on my child thoughts.

J1 – Miss!  But not for your lacking at the trying.

J10 – Oh, you sunk my Battleship memories of fun and now is just CGI shit-fest!  (I slap my forehead and into the lake backwards off the dock I reel, “You sunk my childhood!”).

My excitement rises like a boil in my armpit.

What’s next?  “Bingo – The Movie?”

So, it seems that sailors are the cool.

So cool that they must fight a Transformer-like army from a wet dream on the Michael Bay sheets.

Mom, his sheets need changing.

His camera moves even in the night.  It never stops.

Would that he would go blind.  Michael Bay.

And he had nothing to do with this – except inspire it – with his camera frantic wet penis dreams.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithI hate him.

HATE HIM.

So, like a turd in a punchbowl, “Battleship” floats.

Like the turd, we wish for its existence to end.

Like the turd, its existence is demanded.

It’s in our damn punchbowl.

Fuck.

Plot?  Really?

Are you kidding my brain?

Battleships.  Other ships.  Crazy alien shit.

Kaboom!!!!

Destroyers.  Cruise missiles.  Actors.

Kablooie!!!.  Waves.  More actors.

Fizzle.

I need a drink.

Burp.

Good things, though?  Hells yeah!.

Rhianna (character irrelevant) in shrink-to-fit with a blow-dryer body suit carrying a gun as big as a redneck making up for his short penis… Hells yeah!

She is #1 in my Masturbation Memory Bank – with a bullet (take a seat Christina Aguilera).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBrooklyn Decker’s cleavage?

If heaven was of boobs, I’m in heaven.

Liam Neeson (character irrelevant, but higher rank – not in my MMB, but in Navy) growls like a bear.

Poor Liam.  Wife dead from ski head rock, but will take any movie like a new generation Michael Caine.

I understand.  Take the money.

But, son of a bitch buddy, not this!

You sunk my “give a shit!”

Could I write more?  If, by the word paid, then yes.

But this is the summer movie shit-storm beginning.  I will see the same thing.  I will write the same thing.  Greed will overtake my mind more than the Rhianna-lust.

Shit movie is shit movie.

This reviewer is drooling on the coming of “Prometheus.”

Wrong?  I could be.

But the belief that summer BANG movies can be smarter than me?  I hope.  I believe.

As for “Battleship?”  I am sad with the thought that for some retards, this turd will float.

No.  Please.

And “no” again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol.”  Make me proud.  White Guy With Guitar #5 FTW!!!!!!  And then disappear quickly.  That is the pattern.

Contagion [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Contagion, Warner Bros., Steven Soderbergh, Scott Z. Burns, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tien You Chui, Josie Ho, Daria Strokous, Matt Damon, Monique Gabriela Cumen, Griffin Kane, Yoshiaki Kobayashi, Laurence Fishburne, John Hawkes, Jude Law, Teri McEvoy, Sue Redman, Teri Campbell, Stef Tovar, Mary Jo Faraci, Grace Rex, Marion Cotillard, Armin Rohde, Joseph Anthony Foronda, Phillip James Brannon, Rebecca Spence, David Lively, Andrew White, Kate Winslet, Larry Clarke, Anna Jacoby-Heron, Ira Blumen, Scott Strangland, Jimmy Chung, Rick Uecker, Tara Mallen, Jennifer Ehle, Demetri Martin, Elliott Gould, Enrico Colantoni, Bryan Cranston, John Hines, Joshua Weinstein, Sarah Charipar, Mark Czoske, Dan Aho, Chin Han, Hee-Wan Kwon, Phil Tang, Robert Chi, Blair Robertson, Randy Lowell, Pete Sack, Brian J. O'Donnell, Kwok-Wah Wong, Sau-Ming Tsang, Jim Ortlieb, Annabel Armour, Sanaa Lathan, Kara Zediker, Josh Pollack, Laura Fisher, Pete Kelly, Mary Beth Dolan, Jason Babinsky, Howie Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, Thomas Gebbia, Dan Flannery, Dan Sanders-Joyce, Joshua Seiden, Kam Tong Wong, Zakaria Alaoui, Chen On Chu, Contagion, Gregory Jacobs, Michael Polaire, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Cliff Martinez, Stephen Mirrione, Carmen Cuba, Howard Cummings, Abdellah Baadil, Cindy Carr, Louise Frogley, Julie Anderson, B. Ted Deiker, David Kirchner, Mark Scoon, Afnahn Khan, Brendon Breese, Yann Mari Faget, Eric Richard Lasko, Lemon Liu, Jody Spilkoman, Susan Alegria, Paul Allen, Colin Bach, Paul Crawford, Tim Halpin, David Mong, Corey Bayes, Saad Aledigue, Robert Beck, Genona Blue, Jonelle Castillo, Drew Durepos, Brad Garoon, Joseph Malloch, Elaine Mongeon, Juliet Lopez, Matt Ott, Andrew Parsons, Jackie Swanson, Chelsea Wehner

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Contagion, Warner Bros., Steven Soderbergh, Scott Z. Burns, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tien You Chui, Josie Ho, Daria Strokous, Matt Damon, Monique Gabriela Cumen, Griffin Kane, Yoshiaki Kobayashi, Laurence Fishburne, John Hawkes, Jude Law, Teri McEvoy, Sue Redman, Teri Campbell, Stef Tovar, Mary Jo Faraci, Grace Rex, Marion Cotillard, Armin Rohde, Joseph Anthony Foronda, Phillip James Brannon, Rebecca Spence, David Lively, Andrew White, Kate Winslet, Larry Clarke, Anna Jacoby-Heron, Ira Blumen, Scott Strangland, Jimmy Chung, Rick Uecker, Tara Mallen, Jennifer Ehle, Demetri Martin, Elliott Gould, Enrico Colantoni, Bryan Cranston, John Hines, Joshua Weinstein, Sarah Charipar, Mark Czoske, Dan Aho, Chin Han, Hee-Wan Kwon, Phil Tang, Robert Chi, Blair Robertson, Randy Lowell, Pete Sack, Brian J. O'Donnell, Kwok-Wah Wong, Sau-Ming Tsang, Jim Ortlieb, Annabel Armour, Sanaa Lathan, Kara Zediker, Josh Pollack, Laura Fisher, Pete Kelly, Mary Beth Dolan, Jason Babinsky, Howie Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, Thomas Gebbia, Dan Flannery, Dan Sanders-Joyce, Joshua Seiden, Kam Tong Wong, Zakaria Alaoui, Chen On Chu, Contagion, Gregory Jacobs, Michael Polaire, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Cliff Martinez, Stephen Mirrione, Carmen Cuba, Howard Cummings, Abdellah Baadil, Cindy Carr, Louise Frogley, Julie Anderson, B. Ted Deiker, David Kirchner, Mark Scoon, Afnahn Khan, Brendon Breese, Yann Mari Faget, Eric Richard Lasko, Lemon Liu, Jody Spilkoman, Susan Alegria, Paul Allen, Colin Bach, Paul Crawford, Tim Halpin, David Mong, Corey Bayes, Saad Aledigue, Robert Beck, Genona Blue, Jonelle Castillo, Drew Durepos, Brad Garoon, Joseph Malloch, Elaine Mongeon, Juliet Lopez, Matt Ott, Andrew Parsons, Jackie Swanson, Chelsea Wehner“Contagion” – Catch It!

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Boy, the future becomes to suck more and more.

Even sucking in the now time happens in “Contagion”.  It is not a cinema suck – but a suck as to the matters at hand.

Or within the lungs.

Or bowel.

Or your brain!!!

The movie though?  Pretty dang good.

I have “Contagion” fever!  A-choo!!!

To what Steven Soderbergh, the old shit-kicker, wants to educate us, would be worth a closer look:  “Contagion” stands out first of all with several top stars:  Kate Winslet (Yes!), Marion Cotillard (Oui!), Gwyneth Paltrow (Meh.), Matt Damon, Jude Law and Laurence Fishburne.

This amount does Soderbergh, but also because “Contagion” is an apocalyptic thriller epidemics that so many must appear.

Body count = Box office.  Fact.

It is a bird-flu-like epidemic that kills the people like flies.  Or birds, since they named this flu.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Contagion, Warner Bros., Steven Soderbergh, Scott Z. Burns, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tien You Chui, Josie Ho, Daria Strokous, Matt Damon, Monique Gabriela Cumen, Griffin Kane, Yoshiaki Kobayashi, Laurence Fishburne, John Hawkes, Jude Law, Teri McEvoy, Sue Redman, Teri Campbell, Stef Tovar, Mary Jo Faraci, Grace Rex, Marion Cotillard, Armin Rohde, Joseph Anthony Foronda, Phillip James Brannon, Rebecca Spence, David Lively, Andrew White, Kate Winslet, Larry Clarke, Anna Jacoby-Heron, Ira Blumen, Scott Strangland, Jimmy Chung, Rick Uecker, Tara Mallen, Jennifer Ehle, Demetri Martin, Elliott Gould, Enrico Colantoni, Bryan Cranston, John Hines, Joshua Weinstein, Sarah Charipar, Mark Czoske, Dan Aho, Chin Han, Hee-Wan Kwon, Phil Tang, Robert Chi, Blair Robertson, Randy Lowell, Pete Sack, Brian J. O'Donnell, Kwok-Wah Wong, Sau-Ming Tsang, Jim Ortlieb, Annabel Armour, Sanaa Lathan, Kara Zediker, Josh Pollack, Laura Fisher, Pete Kelly, Mary Beth Dolan, Jason Babinsky, Howie Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, Thomas Gebbia, Dan Flannery, Dan Sanders-Joyce, Joshua Seiden, Kam Tong Wong, Zakaria Alaoui, Chen On Chu, Contagion, Gregory Jacobs, Michael Polaire, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Cliff Martinez, Stephen Mirrione, Carmen Cuba, Howard Cummings, Abdellah Baadil, Cindy Carr, Louise Frogley, Julie Anderson, B. Ted Deiker, David Kirchner, Mark Scoon, Afnahn Khan, Brendon Breese, Yann Mari Faget, Eric Richard Lasko, Lemon Liu, Jody Spilkoman, Susan Alegria, Paul Allen, Colin Bach, Paul Crawford, Tim Halpin, David Mong, Corey Bayes, Saad Aledigue, Robert Beck, Genona Blue, Jonelle Castillo, Drew Durepos, Brad Garoon, Joseph Malloch, Elaine Mongeon, Juliet Lopez, Matt Ott, Andrew Parsons, Jackie Swanson, Chelsea WehnerAlthough the film shows nothing that can not already in other doomsday movies seen like “28 Days Later”, and “Outbreak” had, nevertheless impressed the perfect craftsmanship of the director.

He weaves a tapestry of images, a network of relationships knits from infection, health police and media reports covering the whole world – a symphony of the disease.

I would pay money to hear a disease symphony.  They are rare.

Globalization and cinema par excellence, in the rapidly between Tokyo and New York and everywhere, and the way the disease is marked visually – simple peanuts, a innocent computer, a hand on a pole in the bus (a bus pole you dirty people – stop thinking like I think!).

The whole thing is very elegant and beautiful to see – maybe there is already a problem with a disease movie.

Above all, one must ask, what should it end?  Other than for we must, at some point, get to go home from the cinema.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Contagion, Warner Bros., Steven Soderbergh, Scott Z. Burns, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tien You Chui, Josie Ho, Daria Strokous, Matt Damon, Monique Gabriela Cumen, Griffin Kane, Yoshiaki Kobayashi, Laurence Fishburne, John Hawkes, Jude Law, Teri McEvoy, Sue Redman, Teri Campbell, Stef Tovar, Mary Jo Faraci, Grace Rex, Marion Cotillard, Armin Rohde, Joseph Anthony Foronda, Phillip James Brannon, Rebecca Spence, David Lively, Andrew White, Kate Winslet, Larry Clarke, Anna Jacoby-Heron, Ira Blumen, Scott Strangland, Jimmy Chung, Rick Uecker, Tara Mallen, Jennifer Ehle, Demetri Martin, Elliott Gould, Enrico Colantoni, Bryan Cranston, John Hines, Joshua Weinstein, Sarah Charipar, Mark Czoske, Dan Aho, Chin Han, Hee-Wan Kwon, Phil Tang, Robert Chi, Blair Robertson, Randy Lowell, Pete Sack, Brian J. O'Donnell, Kwok-Wah Wong, Sau-Ming Tsang, Jim Ortlieb, Annabel Armour, Sanaa Lathan, Kara Zediker, Josh Pollack, Laura Fisher, Pete Kelly, Mary Beth Dolan, Jason Babinsky, Howie Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, Thomas Gebbia, Dan Flannery, Dan Sanders-Joyce, Joshua Seiden, Kam Tong Wong, Zakaria Alaoui, Chen On Chu, Contagion, Gregory Jacobs, Michael Polaire, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Cliff Martinez, Stephen Mirrione, Carmen Cuba, Howard Cummings, Abdellah Baadil, Cindy Carr, Louise Frogley, Julie Anderson, B. Ted Deiker, David Kirchner, Mark Scoon, Afnahn Khan, Brendon Breese, Yann Mari Faget, Eric Richard Lasko, Lemon Liu, Jody Spilkoman, Susan Alegria, Paul Allen, Colin Bach, Paul Crawford, Tim Halpin, David Mong, Corey Bayes, Saad Aledigue, Robert Beck, Genona Blue, Jonelle Castillo, Drew Durepos, Brad Garoon, Joseph Malloch, Elaine Mongeon, Juliet Lopez, Matt Ott, Andrew Parsons, Jackie Swanson, Chelsea WehnerThe first victim of the disease is Gwyneth Paltrow – no wonder!

She is a vegan and watches her few minutes of film correspondingly weakened and drained of blood from the laundry.

A very convenient place for a drainage (you can clean your bloody clothes while doing the dying).

The best scene of the movie then the one in which Paltrow lies dead on the autopsy table (type casting!  I kid you Goop Queen).

Since her with a beautiful sawing noise of the skull is sawed and pulled the scalp (hers) to the front – suddenly her blond hair hanging under her chin.

Like poor Mr. Cobain after being the killed  – shotgun to face style – by the shrewish Ms. Love (unproven, but I know.  Yes… I know.).

As I watch her in the brain, of which obviously is not much left – I think “does vegan diet shrinks the brain – or the flu?”  And it is then also equal the best dialogue of the film:  “Oh my god!  What’s that?” – “Should I call anyone?” – “Call everyone!”

Without concern for cellular calling plan.  That is a bad-ass flu that puts the forget on that.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Contagion, Warner Bros., Steven Soderbergh, Scott Z. Burns, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tien You Chui, Josie Ho, Daria Strokous, Matt Damon, Monique Gabriela Cumen, Griffin Kane, Yoshiaki Kobayashi, Laurence Fishburne, John Hawkes, Jude Law, Teri McEvoy, Sue Redman, Teri Campbell, Stef Tovar, Mary Jo Faraci, Grace Rex, Marion Cotillard, Armin Rohde, Joseph Anthony Foronda, Phillip James Brannon, Rebecca Spence, David Lively, Andrew White, Kate Winslet, Larry Clarke, Anna Jacoby-Heron, Ira Blumen, Scott Strangland, Jimmy Chung, Rick Uecker, Tara Mallen, Jennifer Ehle, Demetri Martin, Elliott Gould, Enrico Colantoni, Bryan Cranston, John Hines, Joshua Weinstein, Sarah Charipar, Mark Czoske, Dan Aho, Chin Han, Hee-Wan Kwon, Phil Tang, Robert Chi, Blair Robertson, Randy Lowell, Pete Sack, Brian J. O'Donnell, Kwok-Wah Wong, Sau-Ming Tsang, Jim Ortlieb, Annabel Armour, Sanaa Lathan, Kara Zediker, Josh Pollack, Laura Fisher, Pete Kelly, Mary Beth Dolan, Jason Babinsky, Howie Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, Thomas Gebbia, Dan Flannery, Dan Sanders-Joyce, Joshua Seiden, Kam Tong Wong, Zakaria Alaoui, Chen On Chu, Contagion, Gregory Jacobs, Michael Polaire, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Cliff Martinez, Stephen Mirrione, Carmen Cuba, Howard Cummings, Abdellah Baadil, Cindy Carr, Louise Frogley, Julie Anderson, B. Ted Deiker, David Kirchner, Mark Scoon, Afnahn Khan, Brendon Breese, Yann Mari Faget, Eric Richard Lasko, Lemon Liu, Jody Spilkoman, Susan Alegria, Paul Allen, Colin Bach, Paul Crawford, Tim Halpin, David Mong, Corey Bayes, Saad Aledigue, Robert Beck, Genona Blue, Jonelle Castillo, Drew Durepos, Brad Garoon, Joseph Malloch, Elaine Mongeon, Juliet Lopez, Matt Ott, Andrew Parsons, Jackie Swanson, Chelsea WehnerA new word we learned in the movie is called “disease clusters”.

Apparently, researchers analyze striking epidemics in clusters in clusters.  Or a cluster-cluster.

The more clusters, the worse the hit when there is a fan shitting.

The most annoying moments are those in which Soderbergh with the disease still puritanical moralizing – disease trigger is a combination of cheating (pathogen sex!), gambling and the consumption of pork (Carnitas are too good to cause disease. Fact. Other pork products – watch out!).

And at the very end of Asia are still very poor hygiene and blame for everything!

What?

Well, if you have scapegoats.  And who doesn’t like a goat?

So… no “Omega Man”, no “Andromeda Strain”.  Yet I give two thumbs, fighting with sickness, flopping, sweat-covered, ever upward – in the liking!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  The Glee ProjectGlee collision is fast approaching!  Lindsay, you have not reached to me, yet I was your champion.  I can still forgive.  You can still call.  I’m listed!

P.P.S. (or P.S.S. – English is hard) “Hunger Games” new trailer!  Jennifer Lawrence, if you call first – Glee is dead to me.