The Campaign [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney Young

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungThe Campaign

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Oh, Hollywood.

I see you now – the game where my brain is turning to crazy.

I had surrendered already, a white waving of the flag saying “Hollywood, there is nothing expected – stink up the theater and I will write the words… I have no choice. I have nothing in me left to fight.”

Then comes what was never to happen again, or so said my mind thoughts.

Something fun (I needed none of the sweet smoke!).

Something original (no Kossu shots needed, although I had five – habit, and that stuff makes me awesome).

I did not leak from my eyes the salty pain tears.

No.

I saw “The Campaign.”

First, I must speak truth: I thought it was a documentary.

George W. Bush vs. a more hairy Barney Frank.

Then more soberness came to me (alas, it always does).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungWill Ferrell has been a Bush.  He is acting!

Barney Frank with facial bush is Zach Galifianakis.  More acting!

With mincing.  More later.

Plot?  Yes!

Cam Brady (Ferrell) is a congress person from the north of Carolina.

He is a dick, yet is unbeatable in his mind.

Until rich guys want to bring Chinato Americaso they get maybe gay Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) to run.

A baby gets facially punched, the best actor in “The Artist” (Augie!) is brutalized.

But funny.

Baby face punching is funny, America!  And for the first time – I think.

Dog brutalization, less funny.

Marty acts like he has the gay, but it is the subject never talked on

He wears sweaters of the Cosby style. He talks the lisp. We never speak of it.

Cam is “W” (with a much lower body count), but that isn’t talked on, too.

There is much that is distasteful humor to those who think they have the taste.  They do not have the taste.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungThey just have a stick directly up the butt.

This is some funny shit (again, no bong hits prior to the screening – this is NOT a lie!).

This is a summer movie that makes the summer.

No, it is not “Shark Night 3D.”  That was greatness.

This is the funniness.

I can now sit though “The Expendables 2” or (Odin, kill me if I am assigned the seeing of this) “Sparkle.”

But for now, I smile the smile of a happy smile right on my face.

Thank you, “The Campaign.”

So, two thumbs chuckling and (with a guffaw or three) pointing in the air. Although no smoke was in my mind, I recommend it to you.

With the wonderful smoke popcorn tastes better, ice cream is colder, and the film is only 85 minutes of length.

You will still be high when you sneak into the next theater, accidentally, and are watching Hope Springs.” You will need to be high to sit through that crap.  Trust me.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  I raise my glass to my mouth to drink to Tuuli Petaja!  Finland’s only medal in London! In sailing! Huh. Sailing. Yep. Just you bastard laughing people wait until the Winter Olympics.  Our greatness will be like a foot in your ball sack!

P.P.S.  Who will be the winning one on “The Glee Project” finale? Does anybody care? Does Ryan Murphy care?

P.P.P.S.  Kristen Stewart is a slut! I am so proud of her! Is it because her boobs fly free in her next film (“On The Road”)? I am wanting to see that so hard! Has anyone said that about her before? I don’t think so (Twi-tards not included).

Battleship [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. Smith

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBattleship 

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Once again, the youth is easy picking for the child predators.

Our youth be the memories.

The predator?

Hollywood.

Again.

B4 – Hit!  But in an inappropriate way on my child thoughts.

J1 – Miss!  But not for your lacking at the trying.

J10 – Oh, you sunk my Battleship memories of fun and now is just CGI shit-fest!  (I slap my forehead and into the lake backwards off the dock I reel, “You sunk my childhood!”).

My excitement rises like a boil in my armpit.

What’s next?  “Bingo – The Movie?”

So, it seems that sailors are the cool.

So cool that they must fight a Transformer-like army from a wet dream on the Michael Bay sheets.

Mom, his sheets need changing.

His camera moves even in the night.  It never stops.

Would that he would go blind.  Michael Bay.

And he had nothing to do with this – except inspire it – with his camera frantic wet penis dreams.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithI hate him.

HATE HIM.

So, like a turd in a punchbowl, “Battleship” floats.

Like the turd, we wish for its existence to end.

Like the turd, its existence is demanded.

It’s in our damn punchbowl.

Fuck.

Plot?  Really?

Are you kidding my brain?

Battleships.  Other ships.  Crazy alien shit.

Kaboom!!!!

Destroyers.  Cruise missiles.  Actors.

Kablooie!!!.  Waves.  More actors.

Fizzle.

I need a drink.

Burp.

Good things, though?  Hells yeah!.

Rhianna (character irrelevant) in shrink-to-fit with a blow-dryer body suit carrying a gun as big as a redneck making up for his short penis… Hells yeah!

She is #1 in my Masturbation Memory Bank – with a bullet (take a seat Christina Aguilera).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBrooklyn Decker’s cleavage?

If heaven was of boobs, I’m in heaven.

Liam Neeson (character irrelevant, but higher rank – not in my MMB, but in Navy) growls like a bear.

Poor Liam.  Wife dead from ski head rock, but will take any movie like a new generation Michael Caine.

I understand.  Take the money.

But, son of a bitch buddy, not this!

You sunk my “give a shit!”

Could I write more?  If, by the word paid, then yes.

But this is the summer movie shit-storm beginning.  I will see the same thing.  I will write the same thing.  Greed will overtake my mind more than the Rhianna-lust.

Shit movie is shit movie.

This reviewer is drooling on the coming of “Prometheus.”

Wrong?  I could be.

But the belief that summer BANG movies can be smarter than me?  I hope.  I believe.

As for “Battleship?”  I am sad with the thought that for some retards, this turd will float.

No.  Please.

And “no” again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol.”  Make me proud.  White Guy With Guitar #5 FTW!!!!!!  And then disappear quickly.  That is the pattern.