Prometheus [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul Zieleniec

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecPrometheus

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“Prometheus!”

Finally!

I gathered my supplies – for movie ogling and note taking, sweet sticky bud smoked in my car.

The a large coke.

No popcorn.

The greasy corn turns my note sheets into transparent unreading mush.

Now for reviewing I drink the kossu.

But trouble is in a dangling Damocles sword over my head.

So much kossu has been in my mouth hole that I must get a liver ultrasound tomorrow!

How is this can possible?

Is this the end for Kimmo?

Is this the end for kossu?

I am the bummer… but wow – “Prometheus!”

Considered one of the great directors in 30 years, has in some of the best films in the field of science fiction (and others) and with each new film attracts audiences from simple village idiots to up hardcore cinephiles.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecHis name is Ridley Scott and has nothing to prove anything anymore.

Except for “Gladiator.”

That movie was more the funny than “Monty Python And The Holy Grail” but still a shit log.

The legendary “Alien” is undoubtedly the expected movies of the year and shortly before he had released the movie trailer was enough to cause a frenzy of fans.

And geeks are frenzied bunch!

Virgins can get nasty.

Plot?  Hells yeah!

The mythical Prometheus created the first humans from clay and fire (made sense while stoned – now suspect).

The spacecraft “Prometheus”, Scott starts from the realm of uncertainty to come to the eternal mystery of the origin of the first man.

The theories on the creation of man from the aliens are not new, their roots hold thousands of years since man began to think consciously and carved on the walls.

Conscious men never got their deposits back.

Do not carve on the walls.

Or let your cat pee on the carpet.

From the first minutes of the film and the spectacular opening of the thirsty viewer (a large coke is quickly drunken when the sweet bud is in my head) is confronted with all these unanswered questions in a 3D world (damn, 3D that worked!) abundant charm and a spectacle that nourishes the eye and excites the imagination.

The work done in special effects and generally in all the scenery is truly worthy of attention and the most rigorous and demanding audience.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecAlso the cast of Scott in the film include Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron as “robot” and “ruthless woman” respectively and are highly successful.

Charlize has given me two cinematic boners in my pants this year.

This is a good year for Kimmo!

Noomi Rapace is the good.  No shit.

She is the girl in a shrink-to-fit-with-blow-dryer space suit that showed her a good ass actor.

So confusion comes.  Is this cinematic boner for Noomi or Charlize?

Do I really care?

So, two thumbs throbbing like my love of the Charl-oomi.

I want.  And then I want more.

The view is the almost obligatory to all lovers of science fiction and general lovers of the dark room.

Go see this thing.

Twice.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Game of Thrones” season 2 in the books.  We have White Walkers in Finland.  We call them “drunk relatives in the snow.”  They are less scary in Finland but smell worse.  Now, back to my bong and the worry thoughts that will bring me to tomorrow.  If I must not drink of the kossu, is live worth living?  These thoughts must be thought.

Battleship [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. Smith

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBattleship 

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Once again, the youth is easy picking for the child predators.

Our youth be the memories.

The predator?

Hollywood.

Again.

B4 – Hit!  But in an inappropriate way on my child thoughts.

J1 – Miss!  But not for your lacking at the trying.

J10 – Oh, you sunk my Battleship memories of fun and now is just CGI shit-fest!  (I slap my forehead and into the lake backwards off the dock I reel, “You sunk my childhood!”).

My excitement rises like a boil in my armpit.

What’s next?  “Bingo – The Movie?”

So, it seems that sailors are the cool.

So cool that they must fight a Transformer-like army from a wet dream on the Michael Bay sheets.

Mom, his sheets need changing.

His camera moves even in the night.  It never stops.

Would that he would go blind.  Michael Bay.

And he had nothing to do with this – except inspire it – with his camera frantic wet penis dreams.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithI hate him.

HATE HIM.

So, like a turd in a punchbowl, “Battleship” floats.

Like the turd, we wish for its existence to end.

Like the turd, its existence is demanded.

It’s in our damn punchbowl.

Fuck.

Plot?  Really?

Are you kidding my brain?

Battleships.  Other ships.  Crazy alien shit.

Kaboom!!!!

Destroyers.  Cruise missiles.  Actors.

Kablooie!!!.  Waves.  More actors.

Fizzle.

I need a drink.

Burp.

Good things, though?  Hells yeah!.

Rhianna (character irrelevant) in shrink-to-fit with a blow-dryer body suit carrying a gun as big as a redneck making up for his short penis… Hells yeah!

She is #1 in my Masturbation Memory Bank – with a bullet (take a seat Christina Aguilera).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBrooklyn Decker’s cleavage?

If heaven was of boobs, I’m in heaven.

Liam Neeson (character irrelevant, but higher rank – not in my MMB, but in Navy) growls like a bear.

Poor Liam.  Wife dead from ski head rock, but will take any movie like a new generation Michael Caine.

I understand.  Take the money.

But, son of a bitch buddy, not this!

You sunk my “give a shit!”

Could I write more?  If, by the word paid, then yes.

But this is the summer movie shit-storm beginning.  I will see the same thing.  I will write the same thing.  Greed will overtake my mind more than the Rhianna-lust.

Shit movie is shit movie.

This reviewer is drooling on the coming of “Prometheus.”

Wrong?  I could be.

But the belief that summer BANG movies can be smarter than me?  I hope.  I believe.

As for “Battleship?”  I am sad with the thought that for some retards, this turd will float.

No.  Please.

And “no” again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol.”  Make me proud.  White Guy With Guitar #5 FTW!!!!!!  And then disappear quickly.  That is the pattern.