RoboCop [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff Mohs

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsRoboCop

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I don’t want to sound like a bitch bitching.

Yet things are forever the same.

Scene: Interior: Hollywood. Oldsters with the graying heads talk.

Oldster One: I have no idea of anything.

Oldster Two: I have to poop.

Oldster Three: Back in the day…

Then, into the room walks a younger oldster – a goddamn MBA.

Goddamn MBA: We don’t for having ideas. I just saw “RoboCop” from year’s long gone last night on IFC. Let’s make it three more times! If I had one original idea it would be my FIRST!!!

End Scene.

So I see the new “RoboCop.” 

I fall back in to old ways.

I smoke the sweet, sweet smoke. I drink the Kossu. Ice cream bon-bons pressed against my taint. And I wonder – can this not be a suck-fest?

Can this be a mind changing of my mind event? Then there is the movie start.

MGM lion makes “Thrrrrrbbb, thrrrbbb” sound with the lion lips instead of “roar, I will eat your ass” sound.

So I turn to hot Finnish date Aino (her boobs are like rockets). Her look says “you are not too high – the lion just “thrrrrrbbbb”-ed.”

Man, this is movie done right!!!

And, do lions have lips?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsPlot? OK.

Then the movie really starts. We have seen this in the before. Cop Murphy (Joel Kinnaman), soon to be Cop – Robo, has hot marriage ruining wife (Reese Witherspoon thanks you, Abbie Cornish).

He is good cop. He must fight cops for who to them good is just bad.

And more profitable.

Then the kaboom.

Enter Dr. Norton (Gary Oldmam) who works for the worst Batman (Michael Keaton) to make a robot cop a human/robot cop that will make liberals squeal and let drones fly our skies and walk our streets.

And he does.

Black Bill O’Reilly (Samuel L. Jackson) lets from his mouth place propaganda squirt. We must have robot cops. Drones are for the making of the friendly sky.

OK. I get it. Today has so many more troubles than 1987 things must be redone.

Or maybe not.

Damn, thinking is harder than not for thinking.

But the remake must be the remade. We have no choice.

For one more time this year I feel that I am watching Brad on the X-Box. (Brad is asshole roommate, but he did replace his eaten PB with the crunchy. Nice first step, Brad. Dick.)

Brad’s RoboCop rides a motorcycle. Well done!

Brad’s RoboCop hunts down bad guys with face mask giving him cheats. Done even better!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscnium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, RoboCop, Jose Padilha, Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L Jackson, Aimee Garcia, Douglas Urbanski, John Paul Ruttan, Patrick Garrow, K.C. Collins, Daniel Kash, Zach Grenier, Maura Grierson, Stewart Arnott, Matt Cook, Steve Cumyn, Noorin Gulamgaus, Marjan Neshat, Meysam Motazedi, Khaliya Hosein, Savana Hosein, Phillip Akin, Paul Haywood, Adrian Griffin, Rich Huges, Raffi Atounian, Melanie Scrofano, Kelvin Wheeler, Alex Mallan, Dwayne McLean, Tattiawna Jones, Wayne Downer, Robert Thomas, Jordan Johnson-Hinds, Ian Peters, Ricardo Betancourt, Evan Stern, Ishan Morris, Ambrose Wong, Mark McKay, Aurora Browne, Rory o'Shea, Shondra Kayd, Stacey Unsworth, Jeana Lowes, Kanu Giddings, Tamara Almeida, Shane Invervary, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Thomas Mitchell, Ian Butcher, Rocky Anderson, Dallas Blake, Barry Nerling, Dean Redman, Demord Dann, Darcy Hinds, Sean Francis, Steve Wright, Kirby Morrow, David Harcourt, Kevin Hare, Carlyn Burchell, Markus Panilo, Jessica Booker, Joe Merritt, Raiden Eastman, Aallyah Cinello, Meghan Hoople, Prince Massey, Mark Baldesarra, Jason Bigio, Tommy Chang, Jimmy Chimarios, Raven Cinello, Brian Cranstone, Tazito Garcia, WBBrown, Diezel Ramos, Jon Rhys, Rebecca Rodley, Azra Valani, Joe Vercillo, Joshua William James, Peter Yan, Marc Abraham, Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Bill Carraro, Brad Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold Messer, Eric Newman, Pedro Bronfman, Lula Varvalho, Peter McNulty, Daniel Rezende, Diane Kerbel, Martin Whist, Patrick Banister, April Ferry, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Jeff JJ Authors, Yari Azzopardi, Mitch Cappe, Penny Charter, Romy Barber, Brett Carroll, Mary Juric, Kacie Kane, Blair Miller, Mitch Paulson, Gustavo Borner, Marc Miller, Nick Carraro, Scott Alexander, Lynell Bangs, Gavin Behrman, Kameron Bodaly, Jared Burton, Jason Chan, Joel Cyr, Colin Czarnecki, Hans Dayal, Kait Dubbiestyne, Katharine Duke, Andrea Eisen, Joe Everett, Davina Faye, Meredith Garstin, Sabine Graham, Jenna Hamilton, Marie-Claude Hamois, Jessica Johnston, Paul Kalkman, Ainslee Kennedy, Michele Kokkinakis, Carmen Levy, Volney McFarlin, Jeff MohsWhen is my turn? I would like to have the game for the playing.

But no. I must watch.

God dammit.

The last half of “RoboCop” is watching the roommate bogart the controller.

Don’t bogart the controller, my friend – pass it over to me!

So, thumbs are confused. Stuff is cool. Stuff is remade, but not better. 

Where is Red (“come on, dumbass!”)?

Will there ever be new ideas? 

Will the new “300” movie be more guys covered with oil? 

This job is hard and then harder. 

And with summer movies coming, my face makes a sad.

Summer is coming.

Crap storm.

Who will survive?

See “RoboCop” if you must.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Austria, Finland will crush you. In hockey. In other things, maybe not. Aino (of the buxom wonderness), you can watch the game in my apartment. I promise I will not go psychotic. I cannot promise this for my brother, Olli. He may psychotic and die. Such is being a Finn in Olympics time.

HEAR/SEE KIMMO’S REVIEWS EVERY WEEK RIGHT HERE:

Footloose [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Footloose 2011, Footloose 1984, Footloose Broadway, Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford, Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, Miles Teller, Ray McKinnon, Patrick John Flueger, Kim Dickens, Ziah Colon, Ser-Darius Blain, L. Warren Young, Brett Rice, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Mary-Charles Jones, Enisha Brewster, Josh Warren, Corey Flaspoehler, Anessa Ramsey, Jason Ferguson, Frank Hoyt Taylor, Claude Phillips, Clay Chappell, Tony Vaughn, Staley Colvert, Daniel Burnley, Jack Davidson, Alisa Riggs Petitt, Tracy Goode, Clayton Landey, John Still, Brian F. Durkin, Amber Wallace, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, D. Dylan Schettina, Blair Jasin, Jasmine Cook, Reece Thomas, Ivey Lowe, Anna Marie Dobbins, Kevin Renard Fisher, Andrew Ruark, Travis Young, Jamal Sims, Benjamin Davis, Khamren Dehawnn, Terence Dickson, Comfort Fedoke, Patricia French, Trey Greene, Allison Holker, Kat Slatery, Jayson Warner Smith, Madison Grace Ballard, Chynna Dulac, Cory Graves, Ashlyn Henson, Ariana Neal, Tom Stedham, Gary Barger, Roger Birnbaum, Timothy M. Bourne, Eben DAvidson, Neil Meron, Patrick Rofoli, Dylan Sellers, Brad Weston, Craig Zadan, Deborah Lurie, Amy Vincent, Billy Fox, Laray Mayfield, Julie Schubert, Jon Gary Steele, Chris Cornwell, Dena Roth, Laura Jean Shannon, Vivian Baker, Sarah Mays, Susan E. Novick, G. A. Aguilar, Timothy Blockburger, Mary Eli Schwartz, Mollie Stallman, Xanthus Valan, Bill Barnes, Seth Gardner, Mark Nave, Paul Hackner, Drew Ponder, David Fletcher, Jamie Baxter, Bob Fisher, Chris Morena, K.C. Bailey, Matthew Horn, Eric Loveland, Jimmy Shaw, Shilla Benning, Scott Richter, Harry Muller, Pamela Abdy, Gaytra Arnold, Wayne Barker, Paul Becker, Jennifer Caldwell, Neal Dodson, Erin Douglass, Heidi Falconer, Terri Greening, Dondraico Johnson, Eara Merrit, Elizabeth Palmore, Noell M. Pflum, Angela Randazzo, Crystle Roberson, Ryan Schaetzle, Jennifer Scudder Trent, Lisa Marie Thomas, Beau Turpin, Mari Wilson, Martin Guigui, movie review

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Footloose 2011, Footloose 1984, Footloose Broadway, Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford, Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, Miles Teller, Ray McKinnon, Patrick John Flueger, Kim Dickens, Ziah Colon, Ser-Darius Blain, L. Warren Young, Brett Rice, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Mary-Charles Jones, Enisha Brewster, Josh Warren, Corey Flaspoehler, Anessa Ramsey, Jason Ferguson, Frank Hoyt Taylor, Claude Phillips, Clay Chappell, Tony Vaughn, Staley Colvert, Daniel Burnley, Jack Davidson, Alisa Riggs Petitt, Tracy Goode, Clayton Landey, John Still, Brian F. Durkin, Amber Wallace, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, D. Dylan Schettina, Blair Jasin, Jasmine Cook, Reece Thomas, Ivey Lowe, Anna Marie Dobbins, Kevin Renard Fisher, Andrew Ruark, Travis Young, Jamal Sims, Benjamin Davis, Khamren Dehawnn, Terence Dickson, Comfort Fedoke, Patricia French, Trey Greene, Allison Holker, Kat Slatery, Jayson Warner Smith, Madison Grace Ballard, Chynna Dulac, Cory Graves, Ashlyn Henson, Ariana Neal, Tom Stedham, Gary Barger, Roger Birnbaum, Timothy M. Bourne, Eben DAvidson, Neil Meron, Patrick Rofoli, Dylan Sellers, Brad Weston, Craig Zadan, Deborah Lurie, Amy Vincent, Billy Fox, Laray Mayfield, Julie Schubert, Jon Gary Steele, Chris Cornwell, Dena Roth, Laura Jean Shannon, Vivian Baker, Sarah Mays, Susan E. Novick, G. A. Aguilar, Timothy Blockburger, Mary Eli Schwartz, Mollie Stallman, Xanthus Valan, Bill Barnes, Seth Gardner, Mark Nave, Paul Hackner, Drew Ponder, David Fletcher, Jamie Baxter, Bob Fisher, Chris Morena, K.C. Bailey, Matthew Horn, Eric Loveland, Jimmy Shaw, Shilla Benning, Scott Richter, Harry Muller, Pamela Abdy, Gaytra Arnold, Wayne Barker, Paul Becker, Jennifer Caldwell, Neal Dodson, Erin Douglass, Heidi Falconer, Terri Greening, Dondraico Johnson, Eara Merrit, Elizabeth Palmore, Noell M. Pflum, Angela Randazzo, Crystle Roberson, Ryan Schaetzle, Jennifer Scudder Trent, Lisa Marie Thomas, Beau Turpin, Mari Wilson, Martin Guigui, movie reviewFootloose

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

There was many times ago an original idea in Hollywood.

D.W. Griffith was that guy who had it.

Since then, maybe Blake Edwards or Eli Roth.

Now we can go to a cinema knowing that we will see what already we have seen yesterday, last summer, five summers, childhood or (in this example) 1984.

How did Kevin Bacon not kill these people?

New game for this film’s greenlighters – Six Degrees From Grim Reaper (remember to enter my new Dead Pool – info appearing to the future!).

For those who live under rocks – the story:  Ren MacCormack moves from Boston to the small town Bomont in the southern USA, where he has a real culture shock (every movie lately lives next to “The Help”).

Some years before, the congregation – by the tragic death of five teenagers – has been plagued by celebrations after that one night.  Then spoke the local politicians and the popular Reverend Shaw, a ban on loud music and dancing.

Ren (not Stimpy) wants to accept it, however, being a teen, rebels against the ban.

He breathed life back in the village and falls in love with it?

No, just in Ariel (Julianne HoughRyan Seacrest‘s beard), the daughter of the pastor.

She is hot.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Footloose 2011, Footloose 1984, Footloose Broadway, Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford, Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, Miles Teller, Ray McKinnon, Patrick John Flueger, Kim Dickens, Ziah Colon, Ser-Darius Blain, L. Warren Young, Brett Rice, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Mary-Charles Jones, Enisha Brewster, Josh Warren, Corey Flaspoehler, Anessa Ramsey, Jason Ferguson, Frank Hoyt Taylor, Claude Phillips, Clay Chappell, Tony Vaughn, Staley Colvert, Daniel Burnley, Jack Davidson, Alisa Riggs Petitt, Tracy Goode, Clayton Landey, John Still, Brian F. Durkin, Amber Wallace, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, D. Dylan Schettina, Blair Jasin, Jasmine Cook, Reece Thomas, Ivey Lowe, Anna Marie Dobbins, Kevin Renard Fisher, Andrew Ruark, Travis Young, Jamal Sims, Benjamin Davis, Khamren Dehawnn, Terence Dickson, Comfort Fedoke, Patricia French, Trey Greene, Allison Holker, Kat Slatery, Jayson Warner Smith, Madison Grace Ballard, Chynna Dulac, Cory Graves, Ashlyn Henson, Ariana Neal, Tom Stedham, Gary Barger, Roger Birnbaum, Timothy M. Bourne, Eben DAvidson, Neil Meron, Patrick Rofoli, Dylan Sellers, Brad Weston, Craig Zadan, Deborah Lurie, Amy Vincent, Billy Fox, Laray Mayfield, Julie Schubert, Jon Gary Steele, Chris Cornwell, Dena Roth, Laura Jean Shannon, Vivian Baker, Sarah Mays, Susan E. Novick, G. A. Aguilar, Timothy Blockburger, Mary Eli Schwartz, Mollie Stallman, Xanthus Valan, Bill Barnes, Seth Gardner, Mark Nave, Paul Hackner, Drew Ponder, David Fletcher, Jamie Baxter, Bob Fisher, Chris Morena, K.C. Bailey, Matthew Horn, Eric Loveland, Jimmy Shaw, Shilla Benning, Scott Richter, Harry Muller, Pamela Abdy, Gaytra Arnold, Wayne Barker, Paul Becker, Jennifer Caldwell, Neal Dodson, Erin Douglass, Heidi Falconer, Terri Greening, Dondraico Johnson, Eara Merrit, Elizabeth Palmore, Noell M. Pflum, Angela Randazzo, Crystle Roberson, Ryan Schaetzle, Jennifer Scudder Trent, Lisa Marie Thomas, Beau Turpin, Mari Wilson, Martin Guigui, movie reviewIn the remake of the cult MTV dance film “Footloose (1984)” has not exactly changed much (the story is still playing in southern backwater Bomont).

Ren (Kenny Wormald) wants to abolish the local ban on dancing and his queen of hearts Ariel (Juliann Hough, still hot) is still situated on meaningless tests of courage and the patience of the audience to the test.

Why must hot chicks test us?

On Cinemax they just get naked.

New story, new characters?

Forget it!

Why is there this stencil-like remake anyway?

Are you stupider, already?  MONEY!

I love it as much (more) than you (money).

Yet the suck that is making movies over and over the same makes my sitting butt crack wish that no longer the theater I must inhabit.  I stand by this.

Where were we?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Footloose 2011, Footloose 1984, Footloose Broadway, Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford, Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, Miles Teller, Ray McKinnon, Patrick John Flueger, Kim Dickens, Ziah Colon, Ser-Darius Blain, L. Warren Young, Brett Rice, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Mary-Charles Jones, Enisha Brewster, Josh Warren, Corey Flaspoehler, Anessa Ramsey, Jason Ferguson, Frank Hoyt Taylor, Claude Phillips, Clay Chappell, Tony Vaughn, Staley Colvert, Daniel Burnley, Jack Davidson, Alisa Riggs Petitt, Tracy Goode, Clayton Landey, John Still, Brian F. Durkin, Amber Wallace, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, D. Dylan Schettina, Blair Jasin, Jasmine Cook, Reece Thomas, Ivey Lowe, Anna Marie Dobbins, Kevin Renard Fisher, Andrew Ruark, Travis Young, Jamal Sims, Benjamin Davis, Khamren Dehawnn, Terence Dickson, Comfort Fedoke, Patricia French, Trey Greene, Allison Holker, Kat Slatery, Jayson Warner Smith, Madison Grace Ballard, Chynna Dulac, Cory Graves, Ashlyn Henson, Ariana Neal, Tom Stedham, Gary Barger, Roger Birnbaum, Timothy M. Bourne, Eben DAvidson, Neil Meron, Patrick Rofoli, Dylan Sellers, Brad Weston, Craig Zadan, Deborah Lurie, Amy Vincent, Billy Fox, Laray Mayfield, Julie Schubert, Jon Gary Steele, Chris Cornwell, Dena Roth, Laura Jean Shannon, Vivian Baker, Sarah Mays, Susan E. Novick, G. A. Aguilar, Timothy Blockburger, Mary Eli Schwartz, Mollie Stallman, Xanthus Valan, Bill Barnes, Seth Gardner, Mark Nave, Paul Hackner, Drew Ponder, David Fletcher, Jamie Baxter, Bob Fisher, Chris Morena, K.C. Bailey, Matthew Horn, Eric Loveland, Jimmy Shaw, Shilla Benning, Scott Richter, Harry Muller, Pamela Abdy, Gaytra Arnold, Wayne Barker, Paul Becker, Jennifer Caldwell, Neal Dodson, Erin Douglass, Heidi Falconer, Terri Greening, Dondraico Johnson, Eara Merrit, Elizabeth Palmore, Noell M. Pflum, Angela Randazzo, Crystle Roberson, Ryan Schaetzle, Jennifer Scudder Trent, Lisa Marie Thomas, Beau Turpin, Mari Wilson, Martin Guigui, movie reviewAttractive teens, rebelling, attract to each other.  Teen conflicts are indicated and the skeptical view of the pastor Shaw (Dennis Quaid).

Then all dance enthusiasts are in the house.  Successful entry, retro feel sprayed, may now be as wild dancing – you might think!

After director Craig Brewer has lulled us positively tap toeing, he is taking a wrong direction and to illuminate characters who are simply not worth that one is concerned more with their background.

Ariel’s problems with race car driver Chuck, her problems with her daddy, her problems with her friend and top it up with their innocence – Julianne Hough (she is very hot) has to bear all sorts of character with their parcels, which do not really care about anyway.

We care about her nakedness.  Our cares end up meaning nothing.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Footloose 2011, Footloose 1984, Footloose Broadway, Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford, Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andie MacDowell, Miles Teller, Ray McKinnon, Patrick John Flueger, Kim Dickens, Ziah Colon, Ser-Darius Blain, L. Warren Young, Brett Rice, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Mary-Charles Jones, Enisha Brewster, Josh Warren, Corey Flaspoehler, Anessa Ramsey, Jason Ferguson, Frank Hoyt Taylor, Claude Phillips, Clay Chappell, Tony Vaughn, Staley Colvert, Daniel Burnley, Jack Davidson, Alisa Riggs Petitt, Tracy Goode, Clayton Landey, John Still, Brian F. Durkin, Amber Wallace, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, D. Dylan Schettina, Blair Jasin, Jasmine Cook, Reece Thomas, Ivey Lowe, Anna Marie Dobbins, Kevin Renard Fisher, Andrew Ruark, Travis Young, Jamal Sims, Benjamin Davis, Khamren Dehawnn, Terence Dickson, Comfort Fedoke, Patricia French, Trey Greene, Allison Holker, Kat Slatery, Jayson Warner Smith, Madison Grace Ballard, Chynna Dulac, Cory Graves, Ashlyn Henson, Ariana Neal, Tom Stedham, Gary Barger, Roger Birnbaum, Timothy M. Bourne, Eben DAvidson, Neil Meron, Patrick Rofoli, Dylan Sellers, Brad Weston, Craig Zadan, Deborah Lurie, Amy Vincent, Billy Fox, Laray Mayfield, Julie Schubert, Jon Gary Steele, Chris Cornwell, Dena Roth, Laura Jean Shannon, Vivian Baker, Sarah Mays, Susan E. Novick, G. A. Aguilar, Timothy Blockburger, Mary Eli Schwartz, Mollie Stallman, Xanthus Valan, Bill Barnes, Seth Gardner, Mark Nave, Paul Hackner, Drew Ponder, David Fletcher, Jamie Baxter, Bob Fisher, Chris Morena, K.C. Bailey, Matthew Horn, Eric Loveland, Jimmy Shaw, Shilla Benning, Scott Richter, Harry Muller, Pamela Abdy, Gaytra Arnold, Wayne Barker, Paul Becker, Jennifer Caldwell, Neal Dodson, Erin Douglass, Heidi Falconer, Terri Greening, Dondraico Johnson, Eara Merrit, Elizabeth Palmore, Noell M. Pflum, Angela Randazzo, Crystle Roberson, Ryan Schaetzle, Jennifer Scudder Trent, Lisa Marie Thomas, Beau Turpin, Mari Wilson, Martin Guigui, movie reviewFelt her character has the most screen time and leaves actor Kenny Wormald in reverse always appear sympathetic.

He plays the cool James Dean blend, cooked up here and there at times and ultimately mimics exactly the kind of singleness dance rebel, the one in a movie called… wait for it… “Footloose”!

The different characters, whether it makes sense, annoying or charming, all have a common weakness:

They do not do the forbidden dance!  Which, in Bomont, is every dance.

Instead of focusing on the movement of talented performers (Julianne Hough, did I mention her?), the audience must always fight words by books and dialogues and are hoping for a extravagant finale.

But until it comes to this final move, agonizing over long dialogues, danceable tracks are burned in the background and just after half the movie is clear that this remake is completely unnecessary.

Conclusion:  “Footloose” is a usefulness-free remake of the ’80s cult film starring Kevin Bacon (I tread on his foot in New York – ONE DEGREE!).  Music and dance are unfortunately too short, since director Craig Brewer puts his focus instead on the background of his characters, interchangeable.

So, one thumb, rebelling and trying to dance for Julianne Hough (muy caliente!) – the other thumb ready to be rammed up idea-free Hollywood’s arse-hole.

Excuse me while I watch “Intolerance” (which will be re-made soon, I’m SO sure).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Terra Nova” has one flaw – no persons with a working mind train would ever bring teenagers to the 85 million year past.  They mess shit up.