Simon Chase – Behind the Proscenium

Ginger & Rosa

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

What the hell?!?

I am sent to see the independently filmed “Ginger & Rosa.”

I have depression, for it is no “Olympus is Falling Over!”

That would have been the shit.

But no.

“Ginger & Rosa.”

Then my disappointment was to disappear – like hangover pain after a good bong load.

I see on the screen something almost not possible.

But is.

There are two Fannings now.

My mind is blow up. I already knew this, but this new one is now more formed.

There was once one Fanning – cute, with oozing talent, charm. Like young Drew Barrymore with less drugs.

Then she started with the dirty in “The Runaways.”

Pretty soon, 18 and naked – please (this is not a bad thing and my fingers are crossed).

So the Dakota parents make a clone.

This clone is not perfect – less a twin and more like a little sister.

She is very serious. And in “8mm” the only actor who acted.

Now she is very, very serious. Red hair serious.

Plot? Not so much.

Atmosphere? Totally.

Early 1960s England is a very cold place with nuclear bomb fear stuck on everybody. There is nothing to do but have bomb fear (Angry Birds is still 100 years into the future and texting even further away).

So schoolgirl friends, the smart Ginger (Elle Fanning) and increasingly horny Rosa (Alice Englert), have no time for nothing but smoking crappy cigarettes and looking at the sea.

And hanging out, while looking at the sea.

Then, there is more sea looking.

Ginger’s father Roland (Alessandro Nivola) is of the art-type, and a pussy when war was a thing to do.

He is a pre-hippy.

With a boat.

There is a lot of hanging out and smoking (and sea looking).

There are gay guys who aren’t gay at all.

Annette Bening is for no reason. Cuba then has a crisis.

SPOILER ALERT! SERIOUSLY!

Finally, some plot. Or not. Ginger goes all anti-bomb death – Rosa goes all “I need me some daddy time” – Roland goes all “I need me some teenage [censored by editor]”.

Can friendship survive worst screen father in Cuban Crisis history?

Will Christina Hendricks (as Ginger’s big boobed Mom) ever show off her amazing chest puppies?

Will someone explain why Annette Bening is on the screen?

END SPOILERS!!!

I can’t help but to be in the liking of this movie.

None of my thumbs scream skyward, yet none of them are too droopy as well.

I partook of the sweet, sweet smoke. I drank Kossu before sitting at this typing computer.

Maybe see it for free. Time is not too wasted (unlike me, Kimmo, who is totally wasted).

Elle Fanning will some day be a star. Until she, too, has to be dirty and third Fanning (second clone) will be unleashed. The count down to 18 has begun…

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “The Voice” is coming back, but no Xtina! I hope Shakira wears little clothes. And Blake Shelton accepts my invitation to drink until Kossu madness is achieved. And they have now an asshole (and Justin Bieber enabler) instead of the cool dwarf. I hope there is no hate in my heart and head for the new.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Okay, Hollywood, I give.

It is FUN to see great literary figure turned into 19^th century James Bond.

There must always be explosions.

CGI must be in every movie ever made.

See, Hollywood?

You win.

For the rest of the film career of reviewing I shall just suck on my bong and sit through whatever I’m being paid to sit through.

And LIKE it.

No… LOVE it.

So, for the second time staged a witty director Guy Ritchie crime adventure with invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s master detective Sherlock Holmes, a classic figure of English literature (that is not in this movie. Same name. Definitely not same guy.).

As in the first film from the year 2009 the script the action transferred to the Victorian era, which also comes from Doyle’s character. The men of the friendship of Robert Downey, Jr. played Holmes and his assistants presented by Dr. John Watson Jude Law delighted with lively war of words.

This time, the detective met his equal intellectually nemesis, Professor James Moriarty (also a name that appears in the Doyle stories, not so much the character), who is about to incite a world war and to seize the most important industries of Europeunder the nail.

The freaking nail!!!

To put the criminal played by Jared Harris, in the shaft, Holmes and Watson travel to Paris, Germany and Switzerland, as if they were secret agents of later generations of film (Bond, Bourne, whoever the closeted Cruise plays in MI: Whatever).

They fight often in the literal sense before picturesque scenery, in a gentleman’s club, a train, in the Paris Opera House, a posh hotel and a Swiss mountain chateau, a munitions factory and on the backs of horses.

Son of a bitch!

Doyle’s master detective was originally in the struggle with Moriarty in Switzerland – fall down the Reichenbach Falls, in death, before he then reanimated again for more adventures.

It takes the action back here and puts on an impressive waterfall, a CGI castle in ludicrous steep hillside (maybe the same town as “Immortals” 2,000 years later). There sits a peace conference, which Moriarty wants to make the starting point of World War II.

Or I – I was pretty high.

While Watson and the belligerent gypsy Sim, played by Naomi Rapace (Dragon Tattoo chick – For The Win!), inside Europe are trying to save to provide themselves Holmes and Moriarty at the balcony of a game of chess on the board and as spirited debate about the case.

Damn straight.

Enough already.

There was a plot, but that is unimportant.

Robert Downey, Jr. has mister fun good times.

The women were hot.

You saw SH#1 and liked it? This is also for your liking.

I suggest using a bong – with and Indica blend because that will make you like an idiot drool.

And being an idiot with drool is the only way to see this.

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows” has made me see the light. The light of my lighter as I take another major hit.

Hollywood is awesome.

Light up and pass the cheetos.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Ryan Murphy, thank you for a taste of Lindsay Pearce in “Glee.” I know now that you are listening! Two more Lindsay episodes – then we can be friends!

Tag: Simon Chase

Ginger & Rosa [REVIEW]

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows [REVIEW]