Steven Soderbergh – Behind the Proscenium

The Hunger Games

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I have waited for this longer than time may seem to you.

Or even longer.

So when the cinema doors opened I was fully ready for an eyeball party!

Yes, “The Hunger Games” is finally open.

Smoke was smoked.

Popcorn was popped.

Kossu was in the fun pocket for in the theater for drinking.

Yes!

Then my confusion – is this about Finland? Dirt. Trees. Poor people. District 12 is Finland!

Then my panic pulls out (too much weed) and I realize that I’m in the right film theater.

First things right now: Jennifer Lawrence is hot. So hot that I have a Winter’s Bone in the springtime.

Movie critic humor (for the win)!

So, what did we see? Plot is now!

The story of “The Hunger Games” is set in an indeterminate future. North America is destroyed. From the ashes rose the country Panem, which consisted of the Capital and original 13 districts.

After an uprising a district was destroyed. In order to remember the debt of the districts, Capitol held once a year the so-called Hunger Games, in which 24 young people compete in a battle to the death against each other – in each district a girl and a boy.

In the 74^th Hunger Games something unexpected happens: This part is that her younger sister Prim (Willow Shields) to the Hunger Games must be reported, the 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers as a tribute.

This is the greatest movie that has ever been told.

The cool, cool book was cool – but the cinema book is even more cooler. Because it is not read, but seen with my (your) own eyes!

Reading is the suck. Except for my reviews.

First (since she is the lead and smoking hot) Jennifer Lawrence is to win every award of acting. Only her “overly large for a starving girl” boobs were a distraction.

Sometimes it is good to be distracted.

Woody Harrelson as the drunken Haymitch reminds me of me when the Kossu flows and I become the state of drunk.

As the badass leader, Donald Sutherland is old and must like mothballs and kidney medication smell – because he is old. The boys gave me jealousy for their nearness to Katniss.

Gale (Liam Hemsworth – why is a 30 year old up for the 12-18 year old Reaping? He is older than Haymitch. Weird.) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) both have inner stiffies for Katniss, but only Peeta gets too close for my comfort. And yours. She is mine.

Other actors were also good to acting: Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley (excellent face beard!), all greatness.

The directing Director – Gary Ross – was also the shit.

Battle scenes were with less blood flowing than the book, but more real blood than that “Twilight” crap that was smeared on my brain last year.

Hoping for the R rated directors cut on Blu-ray with many limbs cut to pieces.

Now, just wait on Hollywood with no originality or even an idea. Remake of “The Hunger.” Another movie of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.” Movie from board game “Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

For now, just go see “The Hunger Games.”

Have I mentioned that Jennifer Lawrence is hot? She is fully formed (and not 16 – at least in this world)!

Any bad?

Only if you are so stuck up that reading is cool and you remember the book. SPOILERS! Mutations looked like “Twilight” wolves for retards (redundant). Where were the tongue-less freak Avox people (movie foul!)? Foxface needed lines (hot for fox (redundant), yet not Jennifer).

That’s it. Not bad.

Verdict?

Two thumbs up… no joke here. Although District 12 brings Finland into my head, I still have the love on.

May the odds be ever in your favor – except for “Twilight”… that shit can die in a fire.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “The Voice” may be the thing for T.V. to watch. Erin Martin? Advancing in singing competition with looks? I loveAmerica!!!

“Contagion” – Catch It!

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Boy, the future becomes to suck more and more.

Even sucking in the now time happens in “Contagion”. It is not a cinema suck – but a suck as to the matters at hand.

Or within the lungs.

Or bowel.

Or your brain!!!

The movie though? Pretty dang good.

I have “Contagion” fever! A-choo!!!

To what Steven Soderbergh, the old shit-kicker, wants to educate us, would be worth a closer look: “Contagion” stands out first of all with several top stars: Kate Winslet (Yes!), Marion Cotillard (Oui!), Gwyneth Paltrow (Meh.), Matt Damon, Jude Law and Laurence Fishburne.

This amount does Soderbergh, but also because “Contagion” is an apocalyptic thriller epidemics that so many must appear.

Body count = Box office. Fact.

It is a bird-flu-like epidemic that kills the people like flies. Or birds, since they named this flu.

Although the film shows nothing that can not already in other doomsday movies seen like “28 Days Later”, and “Outbreak” had, nevertheless impressed the perfect craftsmanship of the director.

He weaves a tapestry of images, a network of relationships knits from infection, health police and media reports covering the whole world – a symphony of the disease.

I would pay money to hear a disease symphony. They are rare.

Globalization and cinema par excellence, in the rapidly between Tokyo and New York and everywhere, and the way the disease is marked visually – simple peanuts, a innocent computer, a hand on a pole in the bus (a bus pole you dirty people – stop thinking like I think!).

The whole thing is very elegant and beautiful to see – maybe there is already a problem with a disease movie.

Above all, one must ask, what should it end? Other than for we must, at some point, get to go home from the cinema.

The first victim of the disease is Gwyneth Paltrow – no wonder!

She is a vegan and watches her few minutes of film correspondingly weakened and drained of blood from the laundry.

A very convenient place for a drainage (you can clean your bloody clothes while doing the dying).

The best scene of the movie then the one in which Paltrow lies dead on the autopsy table (type casting! I kid you Goop Queen).

Since her with a beautiful sawing noise of the skull is sawed and pulled the scalp (hers) to the front – suddenly her blond hair hanging under her chin.

Like poor Mr. Cobain after being the killed – shotgun to face style – by the shrewish Ms. Love (unproven, but I know. Yes… I know.).

As I watch her in the brain, of which obviously is not much left – I think “does vegan diet shrinks the brain – or the flu?” And it is then also equal the best dialogue of the film: “Oh my god! What’s that?” – “Should I call anyone?” – “Call everyone!”

Without concern for cellular calling plan. That is a bad-ass flu that puts the forget on that.

A new word we learned in the movie is called “disease clusters”.

Apparently, researchers analyze striking epidemics in clusters in clusters. Or a cluster-cluster.

The more clusters, the worse the hit when there is a fan shitting.

The most annoying moments are those in which Soderbergh with the disease still puritanical moralizing – disease trigger is a combination of cheating (pathogen sex!), gambling and the consumption of pork (Carnitas are too good to cause disease. Fact. Other pork products – watch out!).

And at the very end of Asia are still very poor hygiene and blame for everything!

What?

Well, if you have scapegoats. And who doesn’t like a goat?

So… no “Omega Man”, no “Andromeda Strain”. Yet I give two thumbs, fighting with sickness, flopping, sweat-covered, ever upward – in the liking!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. The Glee Project – Glee collision is fast approaching! Lindsay, you have not reached to me, yet I was your champion. I can still forgive. You can still call. I’m listed!

P.P.S. (or P.S.S. – English is hard) “Hunger Games” new trailer! Jennifer Lawrence, if you call first – Glee is dead to me.

Tag: Steven Soderbergh

The Hunger Games [REVIEW]

Contagion [REVIEW]