Thomas Place – Behind the Proscenium

Man On A Ledge

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Action and adventure in January?

What is this film “Man on a Ledge”?

Is Hollywood sucking more smoky bong openings than film reviewers (ME!)?

Oh, my mind anticipates with wet quivering smart action fun.

Also smart. But no.

July movie in January – but July/January movie has no boobs or explosions. At least not like July movie.

This confusion haunts my brain-stem and makes thinking hurt.

Plot? I think so.

Nick Cassidy (Sam Worthington) was once a successful and highly respected cop until one day he was arrested for a robbery he never committed (really? This defense works as often as “Glee” makes sense).

As a cop, he also sits years later under difficult conditions in the prison where he has to defend his fellow prisoners in the first place. Especially the soap dropping prisoners. They need defending. From rape. In the butt.

Completely desperate, he uses the first available opportunity to escape and increases with an elaborate plan on the window ledge of a New York hotel (original!), where he soon gets the attention of passers-by and the police.

The police recognize him – because they’re smart.

During his conversation with the psychologist Lydia Anderson (Elizabeth Banks) time trying to give, this is still for a second plan.

At the same time break his brother Joey (Jamie Bell) and his girlfriend Nina (Pooja Kumar) in the adjacent high-rise of the industrial David Englander (Ed Harris) to the allegedly stolen diamonds now really stealing.

While Nick is running (shuffling) out on the windowsill, the time begins not only the special police unit to be restless, but also those corrupt colleagues who were involved in the diamond robbery at the time.

Corrupt colleagues are the suck.

How far would a man go when he is accused wrongly and arrested for something he has never committed?

Well, out on a ledge – that’s for sure.

And then stand, and talk… and stand… and talk… action in other places, stand… then talk.

Then run! On a ledge!

Son of a bitch – a man is on a ledge!

The marquee did not lie on me!

There is really a MAN ON A LEDGE!

The he gets off of it.

Other shit happens, too.

“Man on a Ledge” brings to fans of this genre, unfortunately, not much new with it.

While the cast – led by Elizabeth Banks and Sam Worthington – truly deliver a solid performance and blend together perfectly, the story still runs off to familiar patterns.

Maybe it should be then “Man In A Phone Booth”. Because that has never been done.

Conclusion: Wait until the lateness of March and rent. It will please your eye orbs more on your cool HDTV and cheaper than cinema. And you can make to fire up your pipe without old people (like mothballs and urine smell) telling you against lighting up.

Chill, old people. Take a hit. Your jello will never cover your tongue with more joy after the sweet, sweet smoke.

This I know. Trust Kimmo.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Stop NOW the reading of this! Go see “The Artist”. Go see “The Descendants”. Maybe even “The Iron Giant’s Lady”.

Beware! The summer film shit storm is on the horizon… and then the suck really starts.

Please Mayans – be right!

The Smurfs

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

What the Smurf?!?

Another Smurfing CGI poopfest of the summer of pooping Smurfed-up films?

The movie studios have Smurfed us again – right up the Smurfhole.

If animated characters take on real actors, then alarm bells should ring. Excluding again the extraordinary movie gem Beowulf (genius!), it is also already hard at all to call a movie of this kind that can convince.

Then, when a studio then tries the popular cartoon series The Smurfs and in this, is messed up, then red alert should be achieved!

Success!

Anyone who is curious nonetheless: Yes, The Smurfs is really a very weak movie that nobody has to look at – but if you do, blame only yourself (or your Smurfingly annoying mate who said it would be good – dump her now!).

Smurfs live concealed in a village, hidden from the outside world. And it also has a good reason: Among others, it has the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) who dicks with Smurfs (not literally – it’s kids movie!). But eventually he succeeds and his cat, Azrael (who does not dick), still make the village identified and found.

During their flight, a little Smurf group, including Papa Smurf and Smurfette (whore), in a magic vortex that brings them into an alien world: New York City – in and of our time.

Then, even Smurfs can’t get a ticket to Book of Mormon (sad Smurfs). And since Gargamel was also to New York, they seek refuge with Grace (Jayma Mays – boring in Glee. Have sex with Mr. Schuester already!) and Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris – ladykiller!), who are trying to help the Smurfs on their way back.

The concept is simple: Take a well-known franchise (in this case, The Smurfs), invent a hair-raising story line and try with as simplistic gags at least a little pep in the boring construct bring.

Or not.

The Smurfs makes it quite simple and shipped the blue little people with the help of a rather cheap gimmick in our world to be found (this is confusing).

As a consequence of a classic culture clash show is taken off, but unfortunately it lacks the rear to the front of even a semi-good idea.

The highlight is when there already is a hopelessly misplaced Gargamel heedless of a braking car.

Hurp durp.

Yes, The Smurfs actually tried it with only the very stale gags that were boring 25 years ago (or more – think vaudeville… IF YOU DARE!) and have since been contradicted by constantly chewed just such ideas and soulless, embarrassing movies.

For any half-experienced viewers of the film ensures only for a large dollop of boredom and who is looking for something for children, should be no problems have a better alternative to find the pool of wonderful animated films.

Even Neil Patrick Harris fans can save the visit as the How I Met Your Mother star burned here is just merciless.

Something like The Smurfs comes out just when they (money grubbing studio tycoons like Khan Manka, Jr.) tries again every last cent out of an old franchise to push.

The story is bleh, the gags are all lukewarm damp squishy sandwich and otherwise it is primarily a high dumbness.

View may well be the only very young audience, but otherwise everyone else of the moviegoers already implemented have seen better.

If I had paid any Smurfing money to see this Smurf-fest… well, I would have yelled “Smurf off and die!” Smurfing Smurf Smurfers. So, one thumb – Smurfing… downward.

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. This learned from The Glee Project – Ryan Murphy is a tool.

Tag: Thomas Place

Man On A Ledge [REVIEW]

The Smurfs [REVIEW]