LinkedIn Acquired By Monster.com For $37,242

Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerThe year is 2014.

The people of the world have abandoned social networking after going out on too many creepy dates.

LinkedIn, once a Wall Street darling, was acquired today by Monster.com for $37,242 – basically the value of the copper wire in the walls of their unfinished (and unpaid for) $1 billion dollar office complex in The Presidio.

At its peak in late 2011, LinkedIn (a groundbreaking social network in which people could send messages to each other) had a market cap of $560 billion – more than the top 2 companies in the world combined.

The stock began its plunge after CEO Jeff Weiner cashed out and left the company to become CEO of Apple at the beginning of 2012.   Ironically, Apple’s stock began its plunge immediately after he became CEO.

It’s really a tragic story of greed and the inability to create a product that people can actually use.  And if they did use it, it was only because they thought they should be doing it – because others were – and no one wants to be left out.  But now everyone is left out.

Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerAbout the sale, Mr. Weiner said:  “I work at Apple now.  I’m just thinking about running this company.  LinkedIn was just a blip in my long career.  It was really Reid’s baby, Reid’s vision (State Senator Reid Hoffman D-Palo Alto).  I just worked there.”

And made over $2 billion while there.

Senator Hoffman was unreachable by phone but did release a statement through his office:  “LinkedIn should have been my ticket to wealth beyond my wildest dreams.  Thinking back, I wish I would have sold all (or even some) of my stock when it peaked like Jeff Weiner did.  That bastard made $2 billion!  It’s a God damned shame.  State politics don’t pay shit.”

So LinkedIn, you were great once (in valuation), but now you’re gone.  To quote The Lion In Winter – “The sun was warmer then…”

Shine on you crazy diamond!

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

 

26 Replies to “LinkedIn Acquired By Monster.com For $37,242”

  1. Who bought this stock, how do they even make money? They have been giving away their services for years and only have a few thousand paying customers, lets see how they do when they have to tell all the people that have been using it for free to start paying.

  2. More likely that LinkedIn would acquire Monster in the future as LinkedIn’s popularity continues to grow. Having been recruited by potential employers on both sites, the quality of businesses that have contacted me on LinkedIn is much higher than that of Monster. Just because something is overvalued doesn’t mean it has no value, which many seem to be assuming.

    LinkedIn currently generates $240,000,000 + in revenue off a combination of paid services. Most of that comes from services charged to recruiters. Is it worth $10 billion, I don’t think so, but is it worth $1 billion, maybe. It’s valuation does seem way overvalued, but its actually a pretty sustainable business providing a good product. You know what else, they turned a profit in 2010, not a big one, but they actually made money last year. Not enough to justify their current value, but enough to disregard this blog post as humorous non sense.

  3. That is a super-peachy-keen post. Thanks for really blathering on like that! Seriously, I don’t think I could have spent more effort wishing for something heavy to fall on me to erase that nonsense from my mind!

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