New Media – Page 6

December 2, 2009April 21, 2011

Xfinity – R.I.P.

Yesterday, I told Comcast to dump Fancast and embrace Hulu.

Today, we learn that Comcast has decided to change the name of Fancast to FancastXfinity or just Xfinity.

Horrible – horrible name.

No one will use it.

Xfinity is dead.

As I said yesterday to Comcast (and say again today), dump Fancast (Xfinity) and embrace Hulu. You might as well get some benefit from this disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.

All other confusing video watching sites owned by Comcast (currently running or in development) must be destroyed.

While on the subject of Comcast NBC Universal, my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., had a truly bizarre conversation with Comcast CEO Brian Roberts last night. I’m still trying to make sense of it. Check it out here.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

December 1, 2009April 21, 2011

Comcast Should Dump Fancast, Embrace Hulu

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling

Here’s why:

“OPTION 1: SWITCH TO ANOTHER BROWSER?”

What is my five-year-old daughter and my 90-year-old grandmother supposed to do with that?!

When I go to Hulu, I get no prompt that says (in so many words) “MY MACHINE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FOR THIS WEBSITE!” – it just plays the videos I want to watch. That’s it. No downloads. No waiting. No rebooting.

I’m sure Fancast has a lot of good stuff on it, but enough with the “download this player” and “update your browser” and all that crap we have had to endure for the past 10 years. You’ve made me feel outdated and behind-the-times for too long. Now I realize it was all bullshit.

Now that Comcast owns Fancast AND Hulu (1/3 of it), it’s time to dump the one that sucks.

Sorry Fancast.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 30, 2009April 21, 2011

Dear Tiger Woods, Please Keep Lying

Online celebrity gossip blogs need you to keep evading authorities and issuing bizarre statements on your website. It’s the only way many of them will be able to survive the current advertising slowdown.

For a while, the crazy death of Michael Jackson and the pending divorce of Jon & Kate sustained TMZ, Defamer, Radar, etc., but now, they really needed something to jack up the Holiday season – and your insane Thanksgiving was the perfect (the absolute perfect) present under the tree.

What you need to do now, Tiger, is barricade yourself inside your home or come out naked and drunk like something on “Cops” (throw in a scream at the helicopters for that extra zing). Maybe you and Kobe could get together and go on some sort of cross-country crime spree ala “Bonnie and Clyde”.

I don’t really care what you decide to do next – but PLEASE DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH. That would kill this story faster than David Letterman confessing his illicit affair on national television.

So, Tiger…

DON’T come to California and host your golf tournament (keep everyone wondering where you are);

DON’T give a press conference to clear everything up (unless you decide to make it a crazy one with someone like Drew Rosenhaus as your spokesperson);

DO go on Oprah and Jay Leno once your wounds have healed for a nice, safe interview that you have full control over (and stick to your story of Elin freeing you with a golf club from your wrecked Escalade);

DO give Elin a flawless 20-carat diamond during “The View” and “thank her for saving your life”…

Etc. etc. etc.

Just don’t tell the truth. That would ruin everything.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 13, 2009April 22, 2011

The TV.com Awards?

I received an email this morning from a friend who said: “Jill, OMG, you have to click on this link and vote for my show!”

“Vote for what?”, I said.

“The Best Of 2009 TV.com Awards! My show was nominated!”

Are you fucking kidding me? The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards? What? What I mean say is… huh? The fuck?

I was wondering why everyone here at Manka Bros. is running around so excited. I thought it was because it is Friday – but no, IT’S BECAUSE THE BEST OF 2009 TV.COM NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! (And this is not to be confused with the 2009 TV.com Awards which were announced a month or so ago – I think.)

I am soooo nervous. Will “30 Rock” finally break out and beat “The Big Bang Theory” for their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award? Will “The Big Bang Theory” finally emerge from its “Two and a Half Men” shadow and beat “30 Rock” to win their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?

Actually, everyone who wins will win their very first Best Of 2009 TV.com Award. Because this is the first year of the Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Seriously, this town has got to stop giving out meaningless awards. I know we thrive on it and need these awards desperately to boost our egos (even more) but enough is enough. As a multi-year winner of the BLOGGY for Best General Media Blog, I know how it feels to have your name called. But we really need to stop it.

Woody Allen said it best in “Annie Hall“: “What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.”

And I have certain questions for the people at TV.com (owned by CBS). Have they only nominated shows from companies that have agreed to license their content to TV.com? Are any shows nominated that can only be found on competitor site Hulu.com, for instance? It makes you question the legitimacy of The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards.

However, the lawyers and executives at CBS don’t have to worry. I’m not going to poke around too much, because I really don’t care. I just wanted you all to know that, if I had to, I could blow the lid off this scandal and bring down The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 9, 2009April 22, 2011

Attention FoxPop and All Other Home Entertainment Groups

STOP DOING SHIT! Just stop it. People have already lost their ability to focus on any one particular thing and you want to “FoxPopize” your movies?

Let me explain. 20th Century Fox (that name is truly fitting in this case) is debuting a new service called FoxPop on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of “Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”. While a viewer is watching this horrible film, FoxPop will send out “a constant barrage of facts, photos, games and trivia questions related to the movie” to the user’s Mac, PC or iPhone.

Who gives a fucking shit?!

Do the execs at Fox Home Entertainment really think the consumer’s viewing experience will be enhanced and they will, in turn, embrace and save the dying DVD business by buzzing someone’s iPhone when T.rex appears on screen and asking “how many bones does this dino have?” Most people barely have time to watch one movie a month and you’re trying to waste more of their time!

It’s obvious Fox has quite a bit of extra money lying around to be able to attempt this lame exercise. But I beg you… please stop with all the bullshit and put your money where it really needs to go: Digital downloading technology, consumer education about digital downloading and digital downloading implementation.

That’s the future – not a zapping an iPhone to tell us how many hair follicles Ben Stiller has on his head.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 27, 2009April 25, 2011

Electus – R.I.P.

I realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure. Sorry, Ben.

———————————————–
From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business. 875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs. The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

Electus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives: “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus. Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world! No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls. What a ride! Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman: “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben. He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in Vegas. Goldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
———————————————————————————————————-

Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future: The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television. Sorry, Ben.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 6, 2009April 26, 2011

Attention Digital Hollywood!

OK – it’s time to redesign your website. That’s just hideous!

Come on – you’re called DIGITAL HOLLYWOOD! A site like that makes people go running back to Analog. Simplified complexity, please.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 1, 2009April 29, 2011

Comcast Acquires NBC Universal?

“COMCAST DENIES A DEAL IS DONE, BUT DOES NOT DENY TALKS.” Are you really fucking kidding me, Sharon?

So this is the way it’s going to be? Semantics.

Everyone in the world with a blog could report anything (anything) and find a way to call it a true story.

My five-year-old daughter could tell me she knows where Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb and I could report: “A trusted source tells me that Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb in a closet in La Canada.” I do consider my daughter to be “trusted”. She’s the “source”. Iran would come out immediately and call the story “inaccurate” – but I wouldn’t be a liar.

I’m stunned that nobody calls bullshit on a story that mentions quite a few details about a deal that is far from complete.

Yet nobody calls Sharon Waxman at TheWrap.com a liar. Semantics. Or… I suppose, because nobody really cares. TheWrap.com got everything it needed from this story. National exposure. Who cares if it’s “inaccurate”? That’s not the point.

Comcast and GE get everything they want out of the story – a test of the market to see what the rumor, if true, would do to their stock prices.

Even so, it’s absolutely ridiculous.

“Comcast is in talks to buy the entertainment giant NBC Universal from General Electric… ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGEABLE INDIVIDUALS.” WTF does that mean? I consider myself to be a “knowledgeable individual” – does that mean I could have been a source even if I didn’t know about the meeting?

“Deal points were hammered out…EXECUTIVES FAMILIAR WITH THE MEETING SAID.”

Who are these “Knowledgeable Individuals” and “Executives Familiar With The Meeting” – and why the fuck are they talking to TheWrap.com?

Are “Sources” protected in online journalism? What kind of a crazy-fucking world is it when Nikki Finke is the reserved one in a big entertainment business story like this? Maybe it’s because she didn’t break the story and would love to see it discredited. Actually, not “maybe” – I’m sure she wants to see it discredited.

The biggest surprise of all is that nobody is calling bullshit or lies lies lies. In today’s journalistic environment, that means the story is, most likely, true. And if I had the chance and “sources” to break this story, I would have done the same thing.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 22, 2009May 2, 2011

Yahoo’s New Ad Campaign ROCKS!

Ari Emanuel, Bill Gates, Carol Bartz, David Dibble, Elisa Steele, Eric Schmidt, Google, Hilary Schneider, Jack in the Box, Jeff Weiner, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Mac vs. PC, Manka Bros., Microsoft, Nicolas Sparks, Penny Baldwin, Steve Ballmer, Tapan Bhat, Terry Semel, Tim Morse, Y!ou, Yahoo!, Yahoo's new ad campaign

It simply blows Apple’s Mac vs. PC ads out of the water. Jack In The Box is Yahoo!’s bitch!

There… that should get a few Yahoo! executives clicking on this entry.

It’s actually a pretty terrible and underwhelming campaign and won’t do anything to help the brand.

On the plus side, it certainly won’t hurt to throw $100 million at the Yahoo! brand. It does need updating. But a more creative and less generic middle-of-the-road approach would have been the way to go.

It’s basically the Jay Leno of ad campaigns. Nice and safe. Your children will be okay if left alone with the new Yahoo! campaign.

You can sit and drink lemonade on the front porch with the new Yahoo! campaign. It’s a Nicolas Sparks novel on a rainy day. It don’t hurt nobody.

Some companies would have gone for a “lock-up your children because HERE COMES THE YAHOO! CAMPAIGN TO TAKE AWAY YOUR DAUGHTER ON A MOTORCYCLE” type of approach. Edgy and exciting.

Maybe in today’s economy, nice and safe is the way to go. We’ll find out soon enough. Microsoft was forced to dump a few crappy ad campaigns in the past – hopefully, if it doesn’t work out, Yahoo! will pull the trigger quickly and bring on the motorcycle gangs.

I wish Carol Bartz luck… I’m a big fan. So is my boss, Khan Manka, Jr.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 4, 2009April 29, 2011

Nikki Finke’s New Business Strategy Will Fail

Ari Emanuel, Deadline Hollywood, deadline.com, Hollywood gossip, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Wrap, TheWrap.com, Time Warner

Dear Nikki,

Your new business strategy will fail. This morning, a new (unremarkable) web design was revealed along with a new address (Deadline.com) and it is a disappointment. A disappointment to all us bomb throwers out there who are just trying to make a buck with salacious stories about other people’s lives.

I say it’s a disappointment because DHD is a straight-out-of-bed must read for nearly everyone in the business of media. You should resist the urge to turn it into something more than it is.

I don’t understand why people in this industry find it difficult to be content with success.

Nikki, you had an amazing one woman operation (terrible graphics and all – but it worked) with great inside sources, timely scoops and the freedom to say whatever the fuck you wanted.

That’s all going to change now.

You are attempting to become a corporation – a media conglomerate, if you will. You seem to fancy yourself one of those top media executives whose career you could bring down with one click of the “Publish” button. I fear those days are ending.

I believed you when you said nothing would change after being bought by Mail.com Media Corporation (I would have put a link of that last sentence to the blog you wrote after being bought – but it appears to be gone! See what I mean?).

Believe me, I’m not against buyouts. Manka Bros. doesn’t pay me shit and we all need capital to run a successful business. But now you’re opening offices (OK, hiring a couple bloggers in pajamas) in several other world cities under the “Deadline” brand. Plus, you talk about technical people and designers. Please. Can you look at the numbers and tell me that your free cash flow margin isn’t decreasing?

Do you seriously believe you’ll find other “Nikki Finke’s” in London, Hong Kong, Syndey, et al? What the fuck scoops are you going to get in Mumbai? There are plenty of great media muckrakers in that country. They don’t need you. There is only one Nikki Finke and paying other people to digg up fresh scandals in international territories isn’t going to work.

I’m going to miss the freshness, the immediacy and especially that feeling that we’re getting real inside dope.

But it’s not too late to change! Stay small and profitable. Don’t expand and be forced out of business in a year. Or worse, in a year, don’t attempt to go back to your old self in a pathetic display of “Well, I tried!”

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea