Jeff Zucker – Page 10

November 30, 2009April 21, 2011

Dear Tiger Woods, Please Keep Lying

Online celebrity gossip blogs need you to keep evading authorities and issuing bizarre statements on your website. It’s the only way many of them will be able to survive the current advertising slowdown.

For a while, the crazy death of Michael Jackson and the pending divorce of Jon & Kate sustained TMZ, Defamer, Radar, etc., but now, they really needed something to jack up the Holiday season – and your insane Thanksgiving was the perfect (the absolute perfect) present under the tree.

What you need to do now, Tiger, is barricade yourself inside your home or come out naked and drunk like something on “Cops” (throw in a scream at the helicopters for that extra zing). Maybe you and Kobe could get together and go on some sort of cross-country crime spree ala “Bonnie and Clyde”.

I don’t really care what you decide to do next – but PLEASE DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH. That would kill this story faster than David Letterman confessing his illicit affair on national television.

So, Tiger…

DON’T come to California and host your golf tournament (keep everyone wondering where you are);

DON’T give a press conference to clear everything up (unless you decide to make it a crazy one with someone like Drew Rosenhaus as your spokesperson);

DO go on Oprah and Jay Leno once your wounds have healed for a nice, safe interview that you have full control over (and stick to your story of Elin freeing you with a golf club from your wrecked Escalade);

DO give Elin a flawless 20-carat diamond during “The View” and “thank her for saving your life”…

Etc. etc. etc.

Just don’t tell the truth. That would ruin everything.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 19, 2009April 21, 2011

Notional – R.I.P.

The revolution is over… and what a crappy revolution it was.

Notional – the only company to ever come up with the idea for a dating show in a taxi; a competitive cooking show; a home makeover show; as well as several shitty internet game shows in development including “Ready, Set, Dance”, “You vs. America” and “Chase the Money” – is dead.

Yes, I realize Notional hasn’t got up on its feet yet – but, based on the announcement of the “slate” today, Notional IS creatively dead. Physically, they’re still on life support and won’t be dead until 2011 or so (thus the tombstone – thanks, R).

Oh, well. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what content visionary (and current Notional CEO) Ricky Van Veen will think up next. Hopefully something that will have the same forward-thinking press release that mentions words like “revolutionary” and “ground-breaking.”

I must apologize to Barry Diller and all IAC shareholders for killing off his two latest content creation ventures before they really got started – (I killed Ben Silverman’s cure for what has been a cancer of bad content and business models on the internet, Electus, a couple of weeks ago… also before the launch) – but it had to be done.

Come on, Ricky, freakin’ internet game shows? Who gives a shit? You were so clever until you started spending Barry Diller’s money. What does he get for making you rich? You… trying to make him poor.

The only show you could produce that could possibly work is you and your new best friend Ben Silverman going out every night and partying your brains out then putting your escapades up on the internet for everyone to see. You could actually erect the elusive paywall on that one. Just imagine it… you, Ben and hot chicks in bars… X-rated.

THAT is programming only you guys can do in just the right pathetic way. And THAT is your only competitive advantage.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 17, 2009April 22, 2011

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!

Meredith Whitney has been right in the past.

Meredith Whitney has been wrong in the past.

Meredith Whitney will be right about some things in the future.

And Meredith Whitney will be very wrong about some things the future.

The point?

Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about the future. Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about what the world will be like in the future. David Blaine doesn’t know what the world will be like in the future. Or Uri Geller or Sarah Michelle Gellar. NOBODY knows about the future!

When Meredith Whitney goes on CNBC with the Money Honey (Maria Bartiromo) and throws bombs while yelling fire at a stock market and overall economy that is struggling, what good does it do?

I’m not saying she should pull her punches if she seriously thinks a double-dip recession is inevitable. I’m just saying… she has no idea if a double-dip recession is inevitable. Nobody does. Much like the pundits who say the market is going to 15,000.

I understand Meredith Whitney has to be salacious to back up that rebel, bad girl photo on the front of the website (and above) for her company. “What will that renegade MW say this time? Get ready to sell sell sell!”

But now, Meredith, you are, once again, in the unenviable position of rooting against the American economy – desperately hoping to be right to uphold your “reputation” and secretly wishing the worst so that you can say on CNBC in the spring “Well, I called it last November, Maria.”

Even though you know… you don’t really know.

I don’t care about your precious math and underlying fundamentals, Meredith, and all the bullshit numbers you’ll throw out to back up whatever you’re trying to say – just admit that nobody knows nothing.

Not even a woman with a zebra on her wall.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 27, 2009April 25, 2011

Electus – R.I.P.

I realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure. Sorry, Ben.

———————————————–
From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business. 875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs. The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

Electus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives: “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus. Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world! No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls. What a ride! Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman: “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben. He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in Vegas. Goldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
———————————————————————————————————-

Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future: The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television. Sorry, Ben.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 22, 2009April 25, 2011

Ben Silverman – Fortune’s 40 Under 40?!

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William Faulkner

Seriously, Fortune? Are you fucking kidding me? What, will you sell 15 more magazines with him on the list? Couldn’t come up with that 40th name?

What about Jeff Weiner – he’s under 40 and was named CEO of LinkedIn. That’s a pretty big job and the site actually makes money and is relevant.

Ben Silverman is irrelevant. Everyone needs to please stop with the ‘Ben Silverman is great’ shit.

If (and this is about the biggest fucking ‘if’ I’ve ever written) Barry Diller and Ben Silverman put together a company that changes the media landscape and makes the world a better place, put him on your list next year. Oh, yeah, he won’t be UNDER 40 next year. Sorry, Ben.

Well, OnMedea is putting together our own list: ONMEDEA’S TOP 40 FAILURES UNDER 40 and Ben Silverman is in the running for the top of that list.

Check back here next week for all the exciting details.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 20, 2009January 7, 2014

Ayn Rand Was NOT A Conservative

There was a story posted on The Daily Beast by Rebecca Dana titled AYN RAND POWER DRESSING in which she writes:

“Ayn Rand–author of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, mother of Objectivism, and the conservative movement’s most rapacious cougar–leapt back into popular culture this year as the hero of the Obama-hating far-right.

But it’s not just Glenn Beck and his minions who are drawing inspiration from the writer, who died in 1982. This fall, the dowdy Russian émigré is en vogue with a whole different set: the free-wheeling, Obama-loving, arugula-eating fashion world.”

Now, I do not follow the antics of Glenn Beck (though I may follow a few of “his minions” depending who they are) and I realize that Rebecca Dana did not actually call Ayn Rand a Conservative (just “the movement’s most rapacious cougar”)… but I just need to put down for the record that she was a staunch anti-Conservative and actually speaks with an almost hatred of them in this extensive audio interview (about 3:30 into the interview she states “I am not a Conservative nor is Objectivism a Conservative philosophy.”):

http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=reg_ar_cvo

For readers of Ms. Dana’s blog who may not actually research her statements, I fear they would form a completely wrong opinion of Ayn Rand – especially by carelessly linking Ms. Rand to Glenn Beck. (Having done a little quick research on Mr. Beck, I will refrain from opining on him as I do not want to draw the bloodthirsty freaks in his audience into this discussion.)

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 8, 2009April 26, 2011

Southland Canceled – Ben Silverman Strikes Again

From the executive grave, Ben Silverman has struck again. Southland, the once promising (for one episode) gritty cop show has been canceled (before its season premiere!).

Another day – another failed show. NBC is in big trouble. Mercy, Trauma, Heroes – all cancellations to come.

NBC had better start super-sizing episodes of The Office ASAP.

Also, maybe think about putting together a few hours of The Biggest Loser Outtakes. Are there any extra Law & Orders laying around? Somebody should get Dick Wolf on the phone. That might work for a week or two.

Hey, America’s (Still) Got Talent – get the cameras rolling! Or just show re-runs of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent. How about that sand artist from Ukraine’s Got Talent? Something is bound to work. Right?

Thank God The Jay Leno Show only needs a 1.5 rating to make $300 million!

This has been an extremely challenging year for NBC so far – and it’s only October 8th.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 5, 2009April 26, 2011

Ben Silverman’s New Company?

OK, Ben.

It’s been nearly three months since you announced you were leaving NBC to start a new company that will “capitalize on the ever-evolving world of multimedia production and distribution.” We’re still waiting.

Who knows? Maybe you actually did stay at NBC to help launch the new season (or whatever) like you claimed you were going to do.

If you stayed, most likely you left the morning after The Jay Leno Show premiered so that you could tell people that it was a hit while you were there.

[Note: Latest ratings for The Jay Leno Show (10/5/09): 2.9/5 – but, according to John Ferriter, it only needs a 1.5 to make NBC Universal $300 million!]

I know it must be difficult to be a cutting-edge wunderkind and I’m not trying to rush you – but it’s time to announce your new venture.

I’m sure Barry Diller can’t wait to hear about it either. He’s got $100 million riding on your genius.

Don’t worry, Ben – Vegas will still be there after you launch your company. And… don’t forget… hot chicks dig launch parties.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 1, 2009April 28, 2011

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

Based on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009: 4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal. They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K? What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW. If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs. However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno. We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”. So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle. They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank? I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below). Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like: “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing? Throwing Off Any Cash?”

This would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED. It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share. Ask The Food Network about their profits? I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine. And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share? It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back. Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with Jay. Jay is about movie stars and pop icons. Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay. You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies. Big fan. She’s just F-ed by example.

October 1, 2009April 29, 2011

Comcast Acquires NBC Universal?

“COMCAST DENIES A DEAL IS DONE, BUT DOES NOT DENY TALKS.” Are you really fucking kidding me, Sharon?

So this is the way it’s going to be? Semantics.

Everyone in the world with a blog could report anything (anything) and find a way to call it a true story.

My five-year-old daughter could tell me she knows where Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb and I could report: “A trusted source tells me that Iran is hiding a nuclear bomb in a closet in La Canada.” I do consider my daughter to be “trusted”. She’s the “source”. Iran would come out immediately and call the story “inaccurate” – but I wouldn’t be a liar.

I’m stunned that nobody calls bullshit on a story that mentions quite a few details about a deal that is far from complete.

Yet nobody calls Sharon Waxman at TheWrap.com a liar. Semantics. Or… I suppose, because nobody really cares. TheWrap.com got everything it needed from this story. National exposure. Who cares if it’s “inaccurate”? That’s not the point.

Comcast and GE get everything they want out of the story – a test of the market to see what the rumor, if true, would do to their stock prices.

Even so, it’s absolutely ridiculous.

“Comcast is in talks to buy the entertainment giant NBC Universal from General Electric… ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGEABLE INDIVIDUALS.” WTF does that mean? I consider myself to be a “knowledgeable individual” – does that mean I could have been a source even if I didn’t know about the meeting?

“Deal points were hammered out…EXECUTIVES FAMILIAR WITH THE MEETING SAID.”

Who are these “Knowledgeable Individuals” and “Executives Familiar With The Meeting” – and why the fuck are they talking to TheWrap.com?

Are “Sources” protected in online journalism? What kind of a crazy-fucking world is it when Nikki Finke is the reserved one in a big entertainment business story like this? Maybe it’s because she didn’t break the story and would love to see it discredited. Actually, not “maybe” – I’m sure she wants to see it discredited.

The biggest surprise of all is that nobody is calling bullshit or lies lies lies. In today’s journalistic environment, that means the story is, most likely, true. And if I had the chance and “sources” to break this story, I would have done the same thing.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea