Only Tech Reporters Care About CES

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob's Big Boy Burbank, Electus, Fred Willard, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, kara swisher, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Melinda the first lady of magic, nikki finke, Nokia Theater, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Rupert Murdoch, sharon waxman, Sherry Lansing, Sumner Redstone, Taylor Swift, Terry Semel, The black Eyed Peas, thewrap.com, Viacom's Holiday party, Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Arvind Rajan, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bret Taylor, Chamath Palihapitiya, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Thiel, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Robby Kwok, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Ted Ullyot, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, CES

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob's Big Boy Burbank, Electus, Fred Willard, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, kara swisher, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Melinda the first lady of magic, nikki finke, Nokia Theater, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Rupert Murdoch, sharon waxman, Sherry Lansing, Sumner Redstone, Taylor Swift, Terry Semel, The black Eyed Peas, thewrap.com, Viacom's Holiday party, Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Arvind Rajan, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bret Taylor, Chamath Palihapitiya, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Thiel, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Robby Kwok, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Ted Ullyot, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3Nearly every major online publication (and print for that matter) are sending at least one reporter to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronic Show (CES) – and no one, except those reporters, actually cares what comes out of the show.

It’s all the same – year after year.

Reporters write up an elaborate post about “What to expect from CES this year!” –

– then they go to Vegas

– they do a decent write up of Day 1

– then they party hard the first night because they have been so focused on the build up of CES that they just want to unwind

– and then they write a lackluster Day 2 report (because they are hungover)

– party some more

– and then sort of disappear until it’s time to drag themselves home.

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob's Big Boy Burbank, Electus, Fred Willard, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, kara swisher, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Melinda the first lady of magic, nikki finke, Nokia Theater, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Rupert Murdoch, sharon waxman, Sherry Lansing, Sumner Redstone, Taylor Swift, Terry Semel, The black Eyed Peas, thewrap.com, Viacom's Holiday party, Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Arvind Rajan, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bret Taylor, Chamath Palihapitiya, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Thiel, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Robby Kwok, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Ted Ullyot, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, CESBelieve me, if CES were held in Fresno, even the Tech reporters wouldn’t show up.

Because it’s not about “new technology” (the gadgets are really just variations on themes from the past 10 years), it’s about “Vegas” and being able to get drunk on the company dime.

The same goes for the legions of companies that attempt to break new products and show off their brilliant innovations.

It’s a snow job – everyone is reprinting the same press release and then heading to dinners and cocktail parties to talk about the press release.

99.99% of the world’s population really don’t care to read about a $150,000 4K television, or a self-driving car or wearable tech – they might buy it once it hits the market if the products are good – but to read about it from hundreds of tech reporters and bloggers? Not so much.

But 99.99% do care about Vegas. So just write about your debauchery (like this CEO from last year – CES After Dark) and forget the gadgets.

No one cares.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Carol Bartz, Roy Bostock, Patti Hart, Sue James, Vyomesh Joshi, David Kenny, Arthur Kern, Brad Smith, Gary Wilson, Jerry Yang, Blake Irving, Ross Levinsohn, Rose Tsou, Rich Riley, Tim Morse, Michael J. Callahan, David Dibble, David Filo, Dr. Prabhakar Roghavan, Jeff Russakow, Elisa Steele, David Windley, Scott ThompsonJill Kennedy – OnMedea

OnMedea Raises $50 At A $1 Billion Valuation

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bryan Lourd, Charles King, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor Kaufman, Will Arnett, 1000Memories, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Edmond Yue, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Harjeet Taggar, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Weiner, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, Nick Marsh, OnMedea, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob Iger

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bryan Lourd, Charles King, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor Kaufman, Will Arnett, 1000Memories, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Edmond Yue, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Harjeet Taggar, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Weiner, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, Nick Marsh, OnMedea, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerI did it!

So, my mom sent me a check for $50 because she wanted to buy a piece of my growing media empire.  (The growing part is a yet-to-launch blog on the insane nightlife of La Canada, CA called “La Canada Nights”.)

I told my mom her share of the company would be based on a $1 billion valuation (as it seems that’s the only valuation there is for a company these days).

For that $50 she will own 0.00000005% of the company.  As part of my deal with Manka Bros., I own 50% of OnMedea (valued at $500 million), Manka Bros. owns another 20%($200 million) and Khan Manka, Jr. owns the remaining 30% ($300 million).  My mom’s share will come out of my piece.

While some would say this is an outrageously high valuation and a sign that we are truly in a bubble – it’s really no more ridiculous than Airbnb, LinkedIn, Zynga, Groupon, Facebook or (fill in Y Combinator’s next spin-off here).

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bryan Lourd, Charles King, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor Kaufman, Will Arnett, 1000Memories, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Edmond Yue, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Harjeet Taggar, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Weiner, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, Nick Marsh, OnMedea, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerYou could argue – hey, your annual revenues are in the low four figures,  Zynga makes hundreds of millions (mid nine figures).

Point taken.

But here’s my point:  A pumped up valuation is exactly that.

The key question for the entire financial ecosystem of Silicon Valley is, why do you do it?  Answer:  Because you can’t stop yourselves.

A fair valuation is not even on your radar because greed and jealousy take over.  ‘That guy over there is 21 and got $200 million, I’m 25 and I’m only getting $100 million?  F that!’

Why is everyone so desperate to reach THE BIG $B?  Is just because of that one line of dialogue in “The Social Network”?  Goddamn that is shallow… oh, yeah, right… I forgot who I am writing about.

Seriously, what’s wrong with a $350 million FAIR valuation and then show the world that you can grow and be worth more?  Or a $50 million FAIR valuation?  This obsession with “BILLION” is going to bring the entire system crashing down in the next year or so.

Bullshit is bullshit is bullshit…

But I digress… today, yippee-ki-yay, OnMedea is worth $1 billion dollars!

Suck on it.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bryan Lourd, Charles King, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, DumbDumb, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Endemol, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jason Batement, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeff Zucker's firing, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King World, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Burnett, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Mt. Kilimanjaro, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor Kaufman, Will Arnett, 1000Memories, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Edmond Yue, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Harjeet Taggar, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Weiner, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, Nick Marsh, OnMedea, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerJill Kennedy – OnMedea

LinkedIn Acquired By Monster.com For $37,242

Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob Iger

Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerThe year is 2014.

The people of the world have abandoned social networking after going out on too many creepy dates.

LinkedIn, once a Wall Street darling, was acquired today by Monster.com for $37,242 – basically the value of the copper wire in the walls of their unfinished (and unpaid for) $1 billion dollar office complex in The Presidio.

At its peak in late 2011, LinkedIn (a groundbreaking social network in which people could send messages to each other) had a market cap of $560 billion – more than the top 2 companies in the world combined.

The stock began its plunge after CEO Jeff Weiner cashed out and left the company to become CEO of Apple at the beginning of 2012.   Ironically, Apple’s stock began its plunge immediately after he became CEO.

It’s really a tragic story of greed and the inability to create a product that people can actually use.  And if they did use it, it was only because they thought they should be doing it – because others were – and no one wants to be left out.  But now everyone is left out.

Jeff Weiner, Nick Besbeas, Steve Cadigan, Mike Gamson, David Henke, Robby Kwok, Deep Nishar, Erika Rottenberg, Steve Sordello, Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue, Konstantin Guericke, Eric Ly, jean-Luc Vaillant, A George "Skip" Battle, Leslie Kilgore, Stanley Meresman, Michael J. Moritz, David Sze, Sal Iannuzzi, Timothy T. Yates, John Gaulding, Admiral Edmund P. Giambastiani, Cynthia P. McCague, Jeffrey F. Rayport, Roberto Tunioli, James M. Langrock, Andrea Bertone, Darko Dejanovic, Ted Gilvar, Edward Lo, Michael C. Miller, Lise Poulos, Mark Stoever, Patrick W. Manzo, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Ben Silverman, Sumner Redstone, Jeff Zucker, Ari Emanuel, Rupert Murdoch, Bob IgerAbout the sale, Mr. Weiner said:  “I work at Apple now.  I’m just thinking about running this company.  LinkedIn was just a blip in my long career.  It was really Reid’s baby, Reid’s vision (State Senator Reid Hoffman D-Palo Alto).  I just worked there.”

And made over $2 billion while there.

Senator Hoffman was unreachable by phone but did release a statement through his office:  “LinkedIn should have been my ticket to wealth beyond my wildest dreams.  Thinking back, I wish I would have sold all (or even some) of my stock when it peaked like Jeff Weiner did.  That bastard made $2 billion!  It’s a God damned shame.  State politics don’t pay shit.”

So LinkedIn, you were great once (in valuation), but now you’re gone.  To quote The Lion In Winter – “The sun was warmer then…”

Shine on you crazy diamond!

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea