Sumner Redstone Is Staying At My House…

Ever since he announced his divorce from Paula Fortunato a few months ago, Sumner Redstone has been at staying on and off at my house.

Every night, he wants to go out and “party at Trader Vic’s“.  And every night, I tell him that Trader Vic’s closed a few years ago.  Sumner is 86 years old and doesn’t take no for an answer.  So last night, once again, we went to “Trader Vic’s” to “party” (we actually went to LAX – a very sweaty club in Hollywood).

Even though Sumner and myself are two of the most powerful people in entertainment, we sometimes aren’t immediately recognized in public.

So I asked my driver (and former child star) Leif Garrett to call ahead and make sure we would be given the proper respect at the door.  He must have said the right things because when we arrived at the club, there was a gaggle of drunken girls in their 20s waiting for us.

Sumner slammed a shot of Slivovitz and jumped out of the limo before it had come to a complete stop.  He rolled awkwardly onto the pavement but hopped right back up and moved as fast as he could to the young girls like some perverted Grandpa.

I would have preferred to stay in the car getting drunk with Leif Garrett and watch the MLB playoffs – or go over to Mariska Hargitay’s house and watch whatever-it-is horrible show that she does… but here I was at LAX with Sumner Redstone looking pathetic as we tried to keep up with these dumb young girls.

Once inside, Sumner was completely out of control.  I found him huddled at a back corner table making out with Tila Tequila.  To  see that in person is as disturbing as it sounds.

Audrina (who I later found out was an actress on some MTV show) and Cate Blanchett were at the same table in the middle of a very animated conversation about Jacobean comedy.

I figured my only option at this point was to get as drunk as possible.  Which I did.

Audrina is actually a very nice person and the most intelligent woman I have ever met.

She told me that she was such a consummate actor that she had her teeth overly whitened for the part of “Audrina” and actually has very brown smokers teeth underneath with several gaps.  It didn’t matter to me.  I liked her!  We talked about her favorite Manka Bros. Films – she has very good taste.  She later left with her boyfriend – some MIT grad student in molecular biology.  Nice kid.

I could go on and on about last night – but it’s just too sad.

The low point of the evening came when Tila Tequila was told the old dude she was making out with was Sumner Redstone – the Chairman & CEO of Viacom (her show is on MTV which is owned by Viacom).  She SLAPPED him across the face and starting screaming, “You son of a bitch!  My stock options are under water because of you!  You owe me money!”  Sumner said something along of the lines of “Stand in line, sweetheart.”

I’m not sure who she thought he was but it was all very bizarre.  Sumner then tried to hit on Cate Blanchett – but that was a non-starter.

I finally got Sumner back to the house.  My cook, Ismaralda got him changed and made him some beef stew.  We spent the rest of the evening watching the Lifetime Movie Network which Sumner said made him feel safe and warm.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios