NBC Universal: February 2010 Archives

Love him or hate him, there is a reason Jay Leno has been #1 and will soon be #1 again in the late night wars. 

He will book anyone necessary to get ratings - as evidenced by the top guest on his second night back - Ms. Sarah Palin. 

Add to the mix Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn, Apolo Ohno, Brad Paisley, the cast of Jersey Shore and I think it's game over for Dave as soon as Jay returns.  The Letterman vs. Leno battle will last all but one week.

It's even possible that by week two most people will have forgotten there ever was a 'Tonight Show controversy' which will mean less and less "I'm with Coco" fanatics inviting you to join Facebook clubs.

So what have we learned from this whole debacle?  As long as there are publicists and stars who need publicity, the past is meaningless.  Hollywood is a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately" town. 

And what will Jay do for these media hungry whores stars?  Deliver ratings that Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel or David Letterman can't (unless Dave could book Sarah Palin again).

And ratings are all that matters.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

P.S. - To Jeff Immelt - please fire Jeff Zucker before "The Tonight Show" is #1 again.  We all know he'll be trying to take the credit and that will make me physically ill.

The Billion Dollar Question is - WHY? 

If I were to talk directly to Jeff Zucker's current boss (Jeffrey Immelt) and future boss (Brian Roberts), I would quote my new hero, Dutch speed skater Sven Kramer, and say "Are you stoopid?"

Even if we all could forget about the recent mistakes that have been made under Jeff Zucker's watch...

• Lowest rated network
• Jay/Conan debacle
• Hiring Ben Silverman for... anything
• The absolutely horrendous Olympic coverage which not only sucks but will LOSE millions of dollars.  (The latest horrible decision was to air the TAPE-DELAYED 2-man Bobsled coverage on NBC over one of the best LIVE Olympic hockey games in years - USA vs. Canada.  I'm sure JZ would say it was a brilliant move on his part to force people to find MSNBC on their televisions.)
  

... at this point, it's a matter of credibility.  And he has none.

Imagine Jeff Zucker standing in front of a group of Wall Street investor analysts with his PowerPoint slides and telling them "This is the future of television..."  "This is the direction Comcast/NBC needs to go..." "Here are my ideas on how to turn things around..." etc. 

Seriously, who the hell would believe he has the answers?  And why does he even get the chance to give the answers.  NBC was once great.  All the missteps really started to snowball AFTER he become Chairman & CEO.  He is into his fourth year and has thus far proven nothing to nobody. 

Basta.  Enough.

However, in an effort to make my entries a little more positive, I'm going to attempt to end them all on an upbeat note.  So... that said... I do like the bulky ski resort sweaters Jeff Zucker has been wearing as he talks up NBC's suck ass Olympic coverage on CNBC.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

As Tiger Woods slowly reemerges from hiding and Team-Tiger Damage Control goes full throttle, there is an interesting parallel to be made between the Tiger/Elin Woods drama and the NBC/Conan O'Brien drama (which cost all of us a few months out of our lives). 

Imagine Conan and Elin on one side and Tiger, Jay Leno, Jeff Zucker and NBC and on the other.

The parallel begins with a couple of a wide-eyed youths - dreaming of the big time.

• Conan:   Becomes a comedy writer for such shows as "The Simpsons" and "Saturday Night Live", works his way up to get his own late night talk show on NBC but deep-down only imagines himself the host of one show... the crown jewel of the late night talk shows... "The Tonight Show".

• Elin:  Is a nanny for a Swedish golf pro and hangs around a lot of single golfers on tour but really only imagines herself with one man... the crown jewel of golfers... Tiger Woods.

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• Conan:  Finally gets "The Tonight Show" in 2009 after slumming it for 16 years at 12:35am.

• Elin:  Finally gets a marriage proposal in 2004 from Tiger Woods after slumming it as a nanny for Jesper Parnevik's kids.

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• Conan:  Jay Leno retires from "The Tonight Show" and prepares to launch an ill-conceived prime time talk show - "The Jay Leno Show".  Conan, believing NBC's promise, happily takes over the reigns of "The Tonight Show" and looks forward to a long and prosperous run as host.

• Elin:  Tiger Woods retires from his crazy single days and prepares for an ill-conceived life of domestic bliss.  Elin, believing Tiger, happily sets up a life of wealth and prosperity (and has two children to complete the ideal picture).

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• Conan:  Jay Leno's ratings crash after one week on the air.  Jeff Zucker at NBC begins to question the decision to move Jay to prime time especially considering Conan O'Brien's horrible ratings.

• Elin:  Tiger Woods crashes a Cadillac Escalade into a tree after Elin Woods decides to move a few of his teeth from the front to the back of his mouth with a 7 iron.

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• Conan:  Begins to feel humiliated by rumors of Jay Leno returning to late night.

• Elin:  Begins to feel humiliated by rumors of Tiger Woods having 11 mistresses (6 of them 'serious').

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• Conan:   Rather than take the suck ass deal offered, Conan decides to leave NBC with $45 million.

• Elin:  Rather than take the suck ass deal offered, Elin decides to hold out for $800 million!  Take that suckers.
  

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As for the future?  Here's my guess:

• Conan:  Having finalized the divorce from NBC, agrees to a deal with TBS.
• Elin:  After finalizing the divorce from Tiger, agrees to go on a disastrous first date with Rory Sabbatini (or some other less successful golfer that wishes he was Tiger Woods).  She breaks her promise not to talk about Tiger's affairs and loses everything.  The book doesn't sell and she moves in with John Daly.
  

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Dear Elin:

Conan couldn't in good conscious stay at NBC (even though his dream life went up in flames) and you can't stay with Tiger (even though your dream life has gone up in flames).  Take the money and run to that house in Sweden.  You will have a better future.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

Ben Silverman is making this way too easy. 

IAC has released the logo for Ben Silverman's world-changing, earth-shattering, ground-breaking new venture - Electus. 

In my opinion, it is the perfect logo for the company.  Everything you need to know about Electus and its future success is represented in the design of that logo.

Accompanying the logo (on the IAC website - Electus.com is... still to come) is a new description of the company.  (Could we be getting close to launch?):  "Led by founder Ben Silverman, Electus is a next generation studio enabling premium content creators to engage with advertising and technology partners at the inception of the creative process and partner on the finished product across a global and multi-platform distribution model. 

"Electus is defining an innovative advertising component, which will challenge the traditional entertainment silos, allowing content creators and branding partners to develop premium programs and reach audiences like never before.  The content will be distributed globally through the Electus international distribution arm as well as across a multitude of analog and digital platforms."

Because nothing says "Next Generation" like a logo with A HORSE AND BUGGY ON IT!

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

P.S. - Ben Silverman is the upcoming keynote speaker at MIPTV this year.  Because he is busy changing the world, I have taken the liberty of penning his speech for him.