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UPDATE:  The original CBS Films R.I.P. post below was written on January 25, 2010, right after "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser flopped. 

The latest CBS Films release to flop is "Beastly" starring actors who didn't get cast in "Twilight".  This modern take on "Beauty and the Beast" (one of an endless stream of upcoming Fairy Tale Movies) had an opening weekend of about $10 million (on the high end). 

While this one is not a complete disaster and may only lose a couple of million, it won't, by any means, be able to save the life of the division.

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CBS Films - R.I.P. (January 25, 2010)

I'm actually surprised there isn't more inside media coverage of the disastrous debut of CBS Films' first release - "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser ($6.0 Million opening weekend from over 2,500 theaters - finishing 8th behind "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" in its 5th week). 

I realize the Jay/Dave/Conan/Jeff Zucker drama is a much sexier story but CBS Films' failure is another example of the cocksure executive that believes he can do no wrong. 

Les Moonves, former bit player on "The Six Million Dollar Man" turned powerful CBS media mogul, is the exec on the hot seat this time.  (Personally, I can imagine Jeff Zucker pushing this story just to get his name out of the press.)

Four years ago, when Sumner Redstone was completing the disastrous Viacom / CBS split, Mr. Moonves wanted Paramount Pictures so badly that when he didn't get it, he decided he could create a new Paramount Pictures from scratch - CBS Films.

It's a cold Monday morning at Black Rock today.

I'm assuming there will be two maybe three more failed releases in 2010 and then a decision to "refocus CBS' energies on our booming cable network distribution platforms and new media" (translation: the end of CBS Films).

The R.I.P. tombstone above is generous in giving CBS Films a four year lifespan (2007-2010) considering the first release wasn't until this past weekend - but I think three years of staffing up and development does count as being in business.

Another possibility for CBS would be to acquire Summit Entertainment.  At least then they would have two guaranteed hits in the pipeline - the final two "Twilight" movies.

Or... my personal dream plan, somehow have CBS either acquire or wrest away Paramount from Viacom.  News Corporation buys the cable channels from Viacom (assets they sorely need).  Viacom shuts down thus getting us one step closer to saying bye-bye to Sumner Redstone forever.

Regardless of what happens, CBS' old media experiment is not going to make it.  But Les Moonves can take solace in the fact that a very exciting Super Bowl is coming to CBS and he still runs one of the top two broadcast networks in the country. 

There was a time when that would have been enough for one man.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

From Variety:  "VH1 has found its own real housewives -- all of whom are married to the mob.  Cabler has given a 10-episode order to "Mafia Wives," the first collaboration between the Weinstein Co. and Ben Silverman's Electus."

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Finally, thanks to Ben Silverman and Harvey Weinstein, the future of media is clear.  I think "Mafia Wives" will prove to be their finest hour and, most likely, their legacy.  Congratulations guys.

Ben (from Variety):  "Clearly, it's the world of 'The Sopranos' coming to life in a reality environment."  High standards, Ben, but I would expect no less... and the show is right in VH1's wheelhouse, if I may add.

I certainly hope this means we'll get to see real life Mafia Hits and a lot of violence (to accompany all that built in product placement that Electus will bring to the project).

I think I know why Ben was brought in by Harvey to help produce.  If, for whatever crazy reason, this show gets canceled, I can imagine how the conversation between Harvey and Ben will go:

Harvey (on the phone):  Hey Ben!

Ben (Eurotrash music thumps in the background):  Huh?!

Harvey:  I got a call from VH1, "Mafia Wives" is canceled - I would like you to tell the "Mafia Wives" in person.

Ben:  We can't cancel "Mafia Wives" - their husbands are violent criminals, they'll come after us.  They need that $20,000 a week we pay them for money laundering.

Harvey:  It's over, Ben.  This was your dumb idea.  You tell them.

Ben:  It wasn't my--

Harvey:  Shut up, Ben.  Do it!  And give me Barry Diller's number, I need to pay the light bill.

Five minutes later, Ben makes a call:

Ricky Van Veen:  Hee hee heeee!!  Ah-oo-gah!  You've got Rickaaaiiiee--!!

Ben:  Cut the shit, Ricky.  I need you to do me a favor.  You know that show "Mafia Wives" - it's canceled.  There's a meat locker downtown where we have our production meetings, go down and tell them the show is toast.

Ricky Van Veen:  No problema, hip master B!
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At least, I THINK that's how it would go.

I can't wait for this show.  And if it works, I certainly hope we'll see more wives of violent people.  It's just great television.  Maybe "Serial Killer Wives", "Terrorist Wives", "Dentist Wives" - it's just an endless brand and really plays into Ben Silverman's vision of the future of media. 

Ben, dude, you are hitting on all cylinders.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

So, it was announced today that Playhouse Disney will become Disney Junior.  The folks at Disney Corporate must have put in quite a bit of overtime on that one. 

It's a stroke of brilliance really -  just as I thought it was brilliant when Viacom changed Noggin to Nick Jr. last year!

Bravo to Disney's Brand Consultants who, most likely, put in extremely long hours and probably weren't cheap.  

I can imagine conference calls, late night food deliveries and logo designs on several other names like Disney Tots, Disney Ragamuffins, ToddlerDisney, Disney 2-7 (or 'The D27!')... before finally reaching the stroke of genius that is Disney Junior. 

And I'm sure it was a tense few days before Bob Iger finally signed off on it.  During the presentation, he probably said things like "Disney Junior?  Really?  Isn't Junior a term for boys?  Nickelodeon did it?  OK, go ahead."  And that was that.  Disney Junior will launch in 2012!

Being a parent of a five year old, I am not cynical about children's programming and appreciate the big media companies producing so much content that distracts my child long enough so I can take a five minute break to go to the bathroom (including my own parent company Manka Bros. and our Manka Kids brand - Manka Junior anyone?).

I just think with all the millions of dollars being thrown around at media companies on Brand Management, it's nice to know that all anyone needs to do to brand something for toddlers it to put the word "Junior" behind it.   Clorox Junior, Coke Junior (with 40% less sugar), 1976 Chateau Lafite Rothschild Junior (for French children)...

Maybe I'll launch OnMedea Junior for toddlers who want to read scandalous corporate media stories about "Dora the Explorer".

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

Seriously?  Is this the guy you want to work for?  Ugh.  

Oh, well... It's just a shame. 

Tony, you have a reputation for being one of the good guys in Hollywood and you're going to work for Ben Silverman? 

Come on, man! 

I'm on-board with you wanting to leave MTV and get back to your real passion - being a content producer. 

I'm on-board with the company name - DiGa.  Di (Santo) and Ga (for partner Liz Gately).  DiGa.  I'm sure there is also some foreign word that it translates to that gives it another dimension.

What I'm not on-board with is you partnering with Electus. 

Every studio in town would most likely want to make a deal with you guys and now you're stuck going to Holiday parties with Ben Silverman and Ricky Van Veen? 

You're better than that, Tony!

Now, most people who read this blog regularly know that I haven't been too kind to Mr. Silverman over the past year or so (several examples are listed below)...

Example A; Example B; Example C; Example D; Example E; Example F; Example G; Example H; Example I; Example J; Example K; Example L; Example M; Example N

... but, Tony, you're being way too nice here.  You're actually giving Ben a hint of credibility.  Credibility that he doesn't deserve. 

However, maybe it's not over. 

Perhaps something can be done to stop it... something like Howard Beale in "Network" screaming to "Stop the CCA Deal now!" (fyi, the fictional Saudi Arabian deal with CCA - the parent company of fictional TV network UBS).

If enough people actually care, we could mobilize and march on Electus Headquarters (which I believe is the Wynn Resort Las Vegas) screaming over and over:  STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW!  STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW! 

Ah, nevermind.  Good luck, Tony. 

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

I'm actually surprised there isn't more inside media coverage of the disastrous debut of CBS Films' first release - "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser ($6.0 Million opening weekend from over 2,500 theaters - finishing 8th behind "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" in its 5th week). 

I realize the Jay/Dave/Conan/Jeff Zucker drama is a much sexier story but CBS Films' failure is another example of the cocksure executive that believes he can do no wrong. 

Les Moonves, former bit player on "The Six Million Dollar Man" turned powerful CBS media mogul, is the exec on the hot seat this time.  (Personally, I can imagine Jeff Zucker pushing this story just to get his name out of the press.)

Four years ago, when Sumner Redstone was completing the disastrous Viacom / CBS split, Mr. Moonves wanted Paramount Pictures so badly that when he didn't get it, he decided he could create a new Paramount Pictures from scratch - CBS Films.

It's a cold Monday morning at Black Rock today.

I'm assuming there will be two maybe three more failed releases in 2010 and then a decision to "refocus CBS' energies on our booming cable network distribution platforms and new media" (translation: the end of CBS Films).

The R.I.P. tombstone above is generous in giving CBS Films a four year lifespan (2007-2010) considering the first release wasn't until this past weekend - but I think three years of staffing up and development does count as being in business.

Another possibility for CBS would be to acquire Summit Entertainment.  At least then they would have two guaranteed hits in the pipeline - the final two "Twilight" movies.

Or... my personal dream plan, somehow have CBS either acquire or wrest away Paramount from Viacom.  News Corporation buys the cable channels from Viacom (assets they sorely need).  Viacom shuts down thus getting us one step closer to saying bye-bye to Sumner Redstone forever.

Regardless of what happens, CBS' old media experiment is not going to make it.  But Les Moonves can take solace in the fact that a very exciting Super Bowl is coming to CBS and he still runs one of the top two broadcast networks in the country. 

There was a time when that would have been enough for one man.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea

CBS Films - that scrappy upstart with the name that screams 'OLD MEDIA' ("Films", really?  Can you even buy film stock anymore?  The world is going digital, CBS) - hits the ground running today with its first release, "Extraordinary Measures" starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser.

Most start-up production companies don't have Harrison Ford in their first movie.  Most start-up production companies have the guy or girl that's holding the boom pole also act in a major role and provide their own food and wardrobe.  But most start-up production companies aren't called "CBS FILMS". 

Why is there a CBS Films?  It seems that Viacom (before Sumner Redstone's idiotic decision to split the company in half - thus creating this problem in the first place) has a very nice movie production company called Paramount Pictures.  They also made a couple of Harrison Ford movies.  I remember he played a guy named Indiana Jones for them.

You see, I think it's ridiculous CBS Films had to be formed.  It's not going to last (sorry, Les).  New movie companies just don't make it - even backed by a large media company like CBS.  Yes, go ahead and scream all you want about Summit Entertainment and their success - but after they release two more teen-angst vampire movies - they're done. 

I understand Les Moonves' desire to run a completely vertical entertainment conglomerate.  But it's no longer 1995.  The media landscape has changed.  The glorious gatekeeper days are over.   Ask Harvey Weinstein how hard it is to build an empire from scratch (but you may have to buy him lunch to ask that question.  Dude is totally broke).

Look, I work for The World's Largest Media Company - Manka Bros. - and they have five movie labels and all of them suck.  Sorry, Khan (my boss, Khan Manka, Jr.).  And they've been doing it for 90 years.

Even though "Extraordinary Measures" looks like the kind of movie that would give me a really good cry on a Saturday night at home - WHILE WATCHING THE HALLMARK CHANNEL - I'm sort of rooting against this one to succeed. 

You see, I want CBS to buy (or wrest away) Paramount Pictures from Viacom and then immediately close CBS Films.  I want News Corporation to buy all the cable channels and other assets from Viacom. 

Then I want Viacom and Sumner Redstone to go away... forever.  (I realize Sumner will still be Chairman of CBS - but Chairman can be overthrown - ask Steve Case - even if it's an old coot that's never going to die.)

So, good luck CBS Films.  It's a tall mountain to climb.  I'm thinking "Extraordinary Measures" will pull down between $10-15 million this weekend.  Whether that is good enough to call the first release a success... we'll just have to find out.  Less than $10 million and there will be quite a few worried CBS Films execs on Monday morning.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea
 

YES!

But only Viacom's cable networks and digital assets.  CBS (not wanting to leave the cocoon of Old Media) should buy Viacom's Paramount Pictures.

Is there any chance in hell this could actually happen?  Could Rupert Murdoch pull off an acquisition of that magnitude?

No fucking way.  Not while old man Redstone continues to draw a breath.

So, yes, it's most likely a non-starter.  But even in a fantasy scenario, wouldn't it be great to finally get rid of Viacom and Redstone?  Both are simply a mess and completely unnecessary. 

[Note:  I realize Sumner Redstone is Chairman of the Board and majority stockholder of CBS, but Les Moonves is the much more appealing face of that company, not Sumner.  Sumner is the face of Viacom... and the media world has had enough.]

Imagine News Corp (which has the weakest portfolio of cable assets save Fox News, FX and those regional sports thingies) with Viacom's cable channels: MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, TV Land, VH1, etc. etc. 

This would immediately fill all News Corp's demographic needs and, in the digital channel universe, put them on par with Time Warner, Disney and, in late 2010, Comcast. 

Viacom was never going to be on par with anyone as long as Sumner is around (even with those assets)... so it's time to shut it down.

As for CBS and their acquisition of Paramount Pictures... they, obviously, just want to be an old media company and ride that peaceful, easy feeling all the way into the grave.  Buying Paramount Pictures (and, hey, why not MGM while they're at it!) would help realize that mid-1990s-vertical-alignment-synergy-world they are striving for.  And based on Comcast's purchase of NBCU (which valued Universal Studios at less than $3 billion), Paramount, with its much smaller film and television library, can be picked up at quite a fire sale bargain.  (Wait two years and it will be even more of a bargain!)

Also, this would give CBS the opportunity to shut down the ridiculous CBS Films vanity project before it becomes a further embarrassment.

So, think about it people.  A deal like this would really be a win-win-win for everyone... and help us to get rid of (at least a part of) Sumner Redstone once and for all.

Jill Kennedy - OnMedea