This is an apology.  An online mea culpa.  I take the proverbial cat o’nine tails and self flagellate.  This is an open apology to the great Zenobia Lassiter.

Last week, I posted an interview and diatribe against her brilliant new work, Pussy.  Yes, I said brilliant.  I’ve not had time to process what I saw on stage.

I saw her put a fish in her “V” word and felt its power.

I saw her put on a Hitler mustache and read excerpts from Mao’s Little Red Book and now understand what it is to be forced to work retail in a strip mall.

I now know that as I listened to her describe her last colonoscopy that she was in fact talking about our need to vote on a regular basis if we ever hope to sustain democracy.

I had to nerve to say that performance art is neither!  I was a Philistine.  An ignorant man, who although he lives in a metropolis, has the mind of a plastic suburbanite.  If I could find a way to spit on myself, I would.

So, dear Zenobia, here is what I have to say:  I couldn’t possibly be more sorry.  You are a genius.  You are a colossus, and we peep about your feet like insects (I paraphrase my Shakespeare, but you know what I mean).

Zenobia, can you ever forgive me?  Will you ever allow me to speak to you again, to sit in your angelic presence and absorb your unabashed brilliance?  To be a mortal in the aura of a goddess?  Please?  Pretty please?

Ha!

The day that I apologize to the likes of you is the day that I buy season tickets to the barbaric New Jersey Devils and their hyper-man-beast NHL.  YOU MAKE ME SICK!

Faithful readers, I hope you had a little chortle at my innocent prank.

In a week or so, I will be interviewing some of the artistic minds involved with the Manka Center Stage World Premiere of Tennessee Williams’ lost classic Haunted Alligators.  You can see the 1960 film version all this month on Manka Classic Movies.

Yours In Art,
Kyrle Lendhoffer – Behind The Proscenium