New Year’s Eve
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
New Year’s Eve.
Really?
A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York).
Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the most important parameter which moves the narrative academic standards (I’m so high), and we are in the New Year’s Eve and all shows on first sight cheerful and festive.
Bullshit.
So, is it better than “The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)”?
No. Hell no.
The characters through many emotional and less comical situations are easily predictable in a pleasant but dull (like an AM/PM hamburger, yummy, and yet gross) in the whole movie follows the same recipe last year’s “Valentine’s Day” by the same director (Garry Marshall – who has giant big teeth… creepy).
That “little bit of everything” – loves all types and ages.
Here of course the nature of the celebration that unites or reunites families (as opposed to“Valentine’s Day” where we saw first young love, but without guilt and boners) seeing traumatic relationships and people in crisis who are required to overcome the wounds of the past or to retrieve media a second chance (like you, Kyrle – your obsession with pecs was your undoing – I said it!).
Usually the New Year people make “self” for their mistakes and set goals for the new (or drunk, and then the regret, and then the pregnancy).
Experiential endoscopy – I think – makes the standing on the story of New YORK’S Eve – sorry, New YEAR’S Eve.
The story of an estranged, and severe ill father (Robert De Niro – he must pay the bills, poor bastard) of Hillary Swank (no character name that I remember but major boobs), responsible for the celebration in Times Square (she fails) is typical of the dramatic tone that introduces us to the plot of Big Tooth Man Director and the character of Michelle Pfeiffer (yes!) who give up everything for to live within a few hours, as did a whole life, shows that things do not always go as we dream, chasing unrealistic time.
(This is an homage to The Talking Heads, from me, Kimmo Mustonenen I’m pretty high.)
The melancholy touches, however, is temporary and as time is pressing everyone to catch up to complete the remaining issues created some grotesque comic situations such as the birth of babies(!) by Jessica Biel. I guess Timberlake finally got busy. Tap it, Justin!
It is gratifying to planning something carefully and setting goals which will then happen by hard effort, but some things make nature itself …as twins.
WTF?!?
Can arrange a time for a natural phenomenon? With the help of technology, perhaps!
(This is an homage to DEVO. Holy crap, I may never come down!)
This is not, damage to the “countdown to the ball” in the Times Square of New York causes a confusion in the already fragile nature of the Swankster (she said I could call her that), but the right decision to put the right person for the repair of the short time until midnight (an electrician who had been dismissed in the past) shows that, in some relationships inevitably “make cycle”.
(This is an homage to my bong. Son of a bitch. I’m wasted.)
Then there is the shit-ton avalanche of other stars: Ashton Kutcher (The Cougar Tamer), Lea Michelle (Playskool’s “My First Streisand”), Sarah Jessica Parker (My Little Pony), Abigail Breslin (Why Are You In This Shit?), Halle Barry (Another Razzie?) and Zac Efron (“It’s a trap!”).
This is a soup lesson.
How?
You want a soup to make. You have ingredients for the soup in the millions. You know in reality the best soup? Maybe five ingredients. Maybe ten.
Instead, all ingredients go into the soup.
All millions.
And the soup? Shit.
You have now spent time and treasure to create shit soup.
And the name of your shit soup?
New Year’s Eve.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. Soon I will see Charlize Theron in “Young Adult”. Ginnifer Goodwin, you are so out of my mind (in the not good way).
P.P.S. I’m so fried. I have a total hard-on for the Flame Flavored Cheeto. Tell me the favorite of your high Cheeto in the comments! Damn, I’m hungry.
What?
Thanks for a funny review. No chance in fucking hell do I go see this shit.
Does anyone get naked? Come on Kimmo, you’re leaving out the relevant details.
It’s a Garry Marshall movie, Zagnut Fartknocker. Do you seriously think anyone does anything sexual at all? Grandpa Marshall wouldn’t approve of that.
Universally bad reviews. I’m not sure this movie runs in theaters through New Year’s Eve. It might get pulled before Christmas.
Kimmo, the Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos are the bomb. Seriously.
CHEETOS® Crunchy XXTRA FLAMIN’ HOT® Cheese Flavored Snacks, you pussy.
Honey BBQ Cheetos.
YES! Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos! Discovered them on a late-night run to the gas station last week… may or may not have been under the influence…
They are delectable!
I made the mistake of seeing Valentine’s day and won’t make the same error twice. Even the trailer looks just awful.
It’s a shame because this cast could make something great.
You lost me at Lea Michele.
This started out like Valentine’s Day as far as premise goes, but really was no better than the routine Love Boat episode. I didn’t believe any of it. It was actually boring.
You people wonder why we still go out and watch these cheesy movies. The reason is because its a holiday movie. People complain so much about movies. The thing is…there isnt enough holiday movies in theaters anymore. Instead of complaining…WTF wont you make your own holiday movie then?
Your logic is infallible. We’ll stop complaining now. I’m off to make a non-cheesy holiday blockbuster in my shed.
i don’t think it’s trash. because people DO put effort into making good quality movies. i understand it might be overrated with a shit load of oscar winners but i don’t see a reason why people shouldn’t see it. i think some people just want to watch a movie that makes them relax and just see some good actos, not tense and overdramatic crap of a huge screen – especially during december, a festive holiday. so this time, i disagree.
Call me crazy but I liked it.
You are crazy.
The movie wasn’t that bad. It was alright and the audiences are coming out of it saying it wasn’t that bad either and was actually a fun fluff holiday film. Not everyone wants to see a doctor sew someone’s mouth to someone else’s butt.
You know what you’re going to see when you see New Year’s Eve. If you didn’t know what you were going to see, then you need to get out more. The critics are way too dramatic. I’ve seen worse. Twilight anyone?
I can agree with you on one thing Tyler – I do not want to see a doctor sew someone’s mouth to someone else’s butt. But I must say – this movie was that bad. Sure, not Twilight bad, but still really bad. It doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook so easily.
Good review. I was pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed myself with this flick, even though I do feel like Garry Marshall didn’t really try to do anything with all of these stars instead of just have them show up and do something. Still, a fun film that is a crowd-pleaser for sure. Check out my review when you get the chance.