Dark Shadows
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
Readers, forgive me.
Last week, The Avengers.
Oops.
I was again the drunk and did not review that awesome piece of shit.
How so?
My FinnBro (Pekka) and I did the drink on Nashville!
So many the pukes out of my mouth.
Then Pekka puked on the ice.
Partied like a star, then the falling and the hospital.
My fault Phoenix is in the Western Conference Finals.
Never to drink again. Until tomorrow!
Pekka, I take the bad!
Damn!
Damn, again!
Thanks, Hollywood.
When, as a child, I would exist – the loving of Barnabas Collins every afternoon.
Then, for we of the werewolf love, had Quentin. I wanted to grow up to a werewolf.
Cool.
Show was AWESOME!
Now, WTF?!?
I don’t hate “Dark Shadows.” There is some love.
Michelle Pfeiffer… HOT!
Eva Green… HOT.
Chloe Mortetz… HOT, but not legal for 5 more years.
Then a movie. I don’t care.
Once again, seventies are funny. Come on!
Burton, I crap in your eye.
This is the best funny movie Tim Burton has done since “Big Fish.”
But again, what the fjord?.
Old jokes are old. New jokes are old.
I want to like, but with a lack of laughing, what the hell?
Time for the Burton – Depp break-up.
Though, the happening of this is never.
Man, the Kossu is running out.
Therefore, I have nothing left to say.
“Dark Shadow” will be on my big screen in August. My pipe is full of the sweet weed.
Now is the time for us who love cinema to rage!
Do not throw poop at us like a monkey!
We are human.
We want to see the cinema that is good!
Come on!
Come on.
I am now escorted to a place where I can relax. One day, movies will be fun again.
No, probably never. Damn.
For now, I leave you with this: Go and see “Dark Shadows”.
Why not? Get drunk. Smoke some green. Time goes by.
Who gives a shit?
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. Summer again. Now time for summer brain cancer. Fuck.
As a huge fan of the earlier shows which I watched pretty religiously when I was a kid I’ve got to say the only thing that would get me to watch this movie is that it has the last performance by Jonathan Frid. (And most of the rest of the original cast I’ve heard.) But it won’t be at the theater. It’ll be on dvd when it gets there. Probably in a month if all the diehard Depp fans don’t blow the box office out of proportion and keep it in theaters longer.
Worst movie of the year if not the decade or century. Tim Burton has lost it and Johnny can only play the one character type. Way to ruin a movie that could have been.
What?!? You were responsible for Rinne playing like shit? I will hunt you down and kill you.
OH NO not another tim burton depp movie! they look the same. Perhaps burton will do better with a vampire movie than his Willy Wonka debacle.
Get some rest Kimmo. I have to say I am predicting a bomb on this one.
Fantastic review! The best. Looks like I will be spending my money on Avengers! Again! Avengers assemble!!!
@Kimmo..YOU ARE A BIG PEACE OF SHIT ,YOU REALLY ARE..AND WHY DO YOU PUT THAT HORRID PIC OF YOU?RIDICULOUS ,I THINK YOU ARE GAY WITH THAT BLOND HAIR TOO..MONKEY FACE!And about the movie..it’s clear that you don’t like it at all,but DON’T TRY TO MAKE THE PEOPLE BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT..IDIOT.YOU LIKE TO WASH PEOPLE BRAIN AND THE PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID THAT BELIEVE EVERTHING THEY SAW OR READ ,WELL GOOD JOB,YOU MADE IT..YOU FEEL GOOD NOW?RIGHT..NOW GO TO SEE THE SEXY GUYS OF AVENGERS AND MASTURBATE WITH THEM…I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT,BECAUSE I DOUBT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO TOUCH YOU WITH THA MONKEY FACE YOU HAVE
Your anger and hatred of me is hot. Do you want to go out?
Not to mention literate!
And I mean ..PIECE OF SHIT,not peace,the emotion..sorry 😛
With that monkey face? NOoooo way 🙁