Paranormal Activity 4
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
*****SPOILER ALERT*****
Where could this possibly go?
#1 was near past.
#2 was near past and nearer past.
#3 was way back past.
#4 is the now (powered by iPhone and laptop).
More found footage.
More of the crazy that would put my body in a hotel but doesn’t affect dumb people.
My ears say a demon is walking around the house I run like a girl.
A fast girl!
If you are not having the viewing experience of “Paranormal Activity 1, 2, 3” read this no further. And why would you read about 4 if you haven’t seen the first three?
Are you drunk?
Are you high?
If “no” is answered get drunk or high and see 1 and 3 – read about 2 online (crap-fest I am wishing not to talk about, so I won’t – 2 sucked so hard it slurped and messed with the dog – no kidding).
Plot? Same as always.
As my fingers typed “Paranormal Activity 4” is the now time – if November 2011 is kind of the now time. No more California, but Nevada is where is Demon-town now. Henderson.
Mom and Dad (generic actors), cute adopted (holy sheet!) youngest Wyatt (Aiden Lovekamp), and hot (but of illegal young age, crap) Alex (Kathryn Newton). She is into the video of everything which is annoying.
All is happy… then creepiest of all kids, Robbie (Brady Allen) moves into the next door. He likes to shake hands, the freaky weirdo!
And he has a fork.
Alex computer talks with her sort of boyfriend Ben (Matt Shively). He sees creepy shit in the background places.
The coolest character is Kinect. You will see the meaning of this in the movie. Disco front room, with demon!
So, Paranormal checklist:
Creepy shadows doing the creeper in the background – check.
Something normal jumps into screen view, making you do a Cola spill on reviewer in front of you (and wow, was he pissed)– check.
Characters not running away screaming but walking TOWARDS demon sounds – check.
Characters getting a lethal smack down like from the Shaq in his prime – check (poor Mom).
Loud footsteps like from the fat kid in the apartment of my upstairs – check.
Katie – check.
Someone’s neck broken, Chuck Norris style – check.
People being dragged around by unseen Demon strongman – check.
Sleeping person sheet removal with not waking- check.
Did I on the checklist miss anything? Add them to the comments below.
So, two really disappointed thumbs hanging down.
The want for good was there, just not the good. Even the Spanish crap crazy stuff after credit time was “meh.”
I was thinking series full circle coolness, but no. Just set up for sequel after sequel after sequel after sequel. A damn shame.
Save your money for the buying of smoke and Cheetos – let this be a mind film all of your own making in your head. It will be better than “Paranormal Activity 4”. Truth.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. “Revolution” makes no sense. And it is the suckage for acting. And writing. Off the DVR forever! Suck it, “Revolution”!
Too bad!!! I was REALLY hoping this would be good! Why are scary movies so freaking hard to make and there is never more than one good per year if that?!? Writers need to take clues from movies like The Exorcist, The Ring, Blair Witch, etc… I love good scary movies to watch around Halloween! Frustrating!!
Love the franchise but i think it may have run it’s course. There was really nothing new to the frights and suspense, more of the same. I had pretty high expectations but at the end of the movie I am left with more WTH questions than answers and feeling slightly disappointed. I wish they would have had the guts to go all out, create new scares, keep some of the original formula but amp it up. Let’s try more creative shall we? There are some good jolts and what could have been interesting plot twists but I think they ended up as just missed opportunities because they just couldn’t see past the next sequel. If they do make another one and this Hollywood so unless this bombs big time you there is one coming, I hope that someone involved with the franchise can come up with something truly new and scary and end it all with OMG, didn’t see that coming at all but what a way to end it.
Kimmo you so high. I saw it last night at 9 and quite enjoyed it – even more than the last one. Let others see it for themselves and decide.
FCK Paranormal Activity 4!!! All them shits the same
If I was in Paranormal Activity 4, I could have just ate the soul of that little kid and they would have all lived happily ever after.
Don’t listen to this guy! This movie is the scariest one yet! Most of the theater (including myself) was almost crying at the end because the ending is that scary. My only complaint about the movie is in the first part of the movie. The camera is handheld and is very wobbly. Gave me a little bit of a headache. Other then that this movie is GREAT! If you are still thinking about seeing it you have already over thought it. Just go!
moral of paranormal activity: white people are mad dumb