“Where have you been, Kimmo?” you ask to the heavens.
Holy for the crap.
I have been in rehab for the rehab.
The kossu and sweet, sweet smoke is too much.
Or just enough.
I think just enough.
And my damn dumb employers think this is where problems lie. I have no longer the caring in my wet drive brain.
I will do what I do, for I am what I is. Kimmo. And I do this for you.
I review… “It.” Not “IT.” “IT” would be our IT department and would be about the mentally retarded and not the scary clown thing. And that movie would suck me.
Dry.
Review time.
Not yet. The theater where the watching happened has itself a bar (thanks Odin!) that has movie drinks made for the movie in the theme of the movie.
I laughed for my friend and said, “’The Pennywise’ drink would be a six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade” and laughed and laughed.
My friend was “huh?” To which my mouth said, “To Catch a Predator, dumbass.”
Slivovitz shot from my friend’s nose holes.
All was fun.
Now review time.
Back in time was a town.
In 1990, Tim Curry tried to kill John Boy, Jack Tripper and friends. He sucked at it. So now an uber Tim Curry, Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård) says “I got this, clown friend, take a nap” and goes a kid killin’.
First is Georgie (Jackson Robert Scott) who is all “Do you need a hand… arm?” He gives it.
The shit gets really shitty (for kids, not for film) from here.
Budding teenagers, teenager angst, sheep, sewers, more teenager angst, death, teenager assholes, don’t give a single fuck parents, bikes, evil hair in sink, and more teenager angst.
And great ending!
SPOILER ALERT!
Pennywise comes to door of a house that the suburbs call cool. Carrying the nectar called Mike’s Hard Lemonade he, at the door, is knock knock knock. The door is opened. In walks Pennywise, starting to sport a major chub. Then… a man appears. “Pennywise, take a seat!” It is Chris Hansen (Chris Hansen)!!! “No more child death fun for you!”
This is a lie. But would have been so satisfying to my brain.
SPOILER UN-ALERT!
“It” has both of my thumbs up like the major chub that Pennywise was about to sport.
Can I love a movie with more of my soul?
Only if they remake “Pompeii.”
Go see it.
You won’t even need kossu or the smoke. That is a joke – always drink the kossu and always smoke the smoke. Doctors recommend it.
Kimmo Mustonenen – Manka Bros. Studio – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. “Twin Peaks” – WTF? David Lynch, I want to smoke with you. Which Coop is Coop? Why is Dougie? What is Richard? Mr. C? Why is David Bowie now a giant tea pot? Is there sense to be made? Why doesn’t Mädchen Amick age? Why am I even caring? Am I not high enough? My brain stem aches. Don’t make another season. I am for the begging. Stop. Now.
P.P.S. This I know of “Game of Thrones.” Tormund Giantsbane is Finnish. A Finn’s Finn. This I know. From his woman taste. For there is nothing better than a woman you can climb like a ladder. There is no more for the truth than that. Ask a Finn. This is daring you!