The Smurfs
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
What the Smurf?!?
Another Smurfing CGI poopfest of the summer of pooping Smurfed-up films?
The movie studios have Smurfed us again – right up the Smurfhole.
If animated characters take on real actors, then alarm bells should ring. Excluding again the extraordinary movie gem Beowulf (genius!), it is also already hard at all to call a movie of this kind that can convince.
Then, when a studio then tries the popular cartoon series The Smurfs and in this, is messed up, then red alert should be achieved!
Success!
Anyone who is curious nonetheless: Yes, The Smurfs is really a very weak movie that nobody has to look at – but if you do, blame only yourself (or your Smurfingly annoying mate who said it would be good – dump her now!).
Smurfs live concealed in a village, hidden from the outside world. And it also has a good reason: Among others, it has the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) who dicks with Smurfs (not literally – it’s kids movie!). But eventually he succeeds and his cat, Azrael (who does not dick), still make the village identified and found.
During their flight, a little Smurf group, including Papa Smurf and Smurfette (whore), in a magic vortex that brings them into an alien world: New York City – in and of our time.
Then, even Smurfs can’t get a ticket to Book of Mormon (sad Smurfs). And since Gargamel was also to New York, they seek refuge with Grace (Jayma Mays – boring in Glee. Have sex with Mr. Schuester already!) and Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris – ladykiller!), who are trying to help the Smurfs on their way back.
The concept is simple: Take a well-known franchise (in this case, The Smurfs), invent a hair-raising story line and try with as simplistic gags at least a little pep in the boring construct bring.
Or not.
The Smurfs makes it quite simple and shipped the blue little people with the help of a rather cheap gimmick in our world to be found (this is confusing).
As a consequence of a classic culture clash show is taken off, but unfortunately it lacks the rear to the front of even a semi-good idea.
The highlight is when there already is a hopelessly misplaced Gargamel heedless of a braking car.
Hurp durp.
Yes, The Smurfs actually tried it with only the very stale gags that were boring 25 years ago (or more – think vaudeville… IF YOU DARE!) and have since been contradicted by constantly chewed just such ideas and soulless, embarrassing movies.
For any half-experienced viewers of the film ensures only for a large dollop of boredom and who is looking for something for children, should be no problems have a better alternative to find the pool of wonderful animated films.
Even Neil Patrick Harris fans can save the visit as the How I Met Your Mother star burned here is just merciless.
Something like The Smurfs comes out just when they (money grubbing studio tycoons like Khan Manka, Jr.) tries again every last cent out of an old franchise to push.
The story is bleh, the gags are all lukewarm damp squishy sandwich and otherwise it is primarily a high dumbness.
View may well be the only very young audience, but otherwise everyone else of the moviegoers already implemented have seen better.
If I had paid any Smurfing money to see this Smurf-fest… well, I would have yelled “Smurf off and die!” Smurfing Smurf Smurfers. So, one thumb – Smurfing… downward.
Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. This learned from The Glee Project – Ryan Murphy is a tool.
God this looks bad. ugh. What a waste of time. I would prefer to pound myself in the head with a hammer for 80 minutes.
I decide go see the smurfs because the critics don´t know anything.
I decided to see it also and wish I didn’t. I should have listened to the critics. It was terrible.
You know, I bet Smurfette really is a whore.