Battleship [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. Smith

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBattleship 

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Once again, the youth is easy picking for the child predators.

Our youth be the memories.

The predator?

Hollywood.

Again.

B4 – Hit!  But in an inappropriate way on my child thoughts.

J1 – Miss!  But not for your lacking at the trying.

J10 – Oh, you sunk my Battleship memories of fun and now is just CGI shit-fest!  (I slap my forehead and into the lake backwards off the dock I reel, “You sunk my childhood!”).

My excitement rises like a boil in my armpit.

What’s next?  “Bingo – The Movie?”

So, it seems that sailors are the cool.

So cool that they must fight a Transformer-like army from a wet dream on the Michael Bay sheets.

Mom, his sheets need changing.

His camera moves even in the night.  It never stops.

Would that he would go blind.  Michael Bay.

And he had nothing to do with this – except inspire it – with his camera frantic wet penis dreams.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithI hate him.

HATE HIM.

So, like a turd in a punchbowl, “Battleship” floats.

Like the turd, we wish for its existence to end.

Like the turd, its existence is demanded.

It’s in our damn punchbowl.

Fuck.

Plot?  Really?

Are you kidding my brain?

Battleships.  Other ships.  Crazy alien shit.

Kaboom!!!!

Destroyers.  Cruise missiles.  Actors.

Kablooie!!!.  Waves.  More actors.

Fizzle.

I need a drink.

Burp.

Good things, though?  Hells yeah!.

Rhianna (character irrelevant) in shrink-to-fit with a blow-dryer body suit carrying a gun as big as a redneck making up for his short penis… Hells yeah!

She is #1 in my Masturbation Memory Bank – with a bullet (take a seat Christina Aguilera).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBrooklyn Decker’s cleavage?

If heaven was of boobs, I’m in heaven.

Liam Neeson (character irrelevant, but higher rank – not in my MMB, but in Navy) growls like a bear.

Poor Liam.  Wife dead from ski head rock, but will take any movie like a new generation Michael Caine.

I understand.  Take the money.

But, son of a bitch buddy, not this!

You sunk my “give a shit!”

Could I write more?  If, by the word paid, then yes.

But this is the summer movie shit-storm beginning.  I will see the same thing.  I will write the same thing.  Greed will overtake my mind more than the Rhianna-lust.

Shit movie is shit movie.

This reviewer is drooling on the coming of “Prometheus.”

Wrong?  I could be.

But the belief that summer BANG movies can be smarter than me?  I hope.  I believe.

As for “Battleship?”  I am sad with the thought that for some retards, this turd will float.

No.  Please.

And “no” again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol.”  Make me proud.  White Guy With Guitar #5 FTW!!!!!!  And then disappear quickly.  That is the pattern.

Melancholia [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna Lundin

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinIs Nazi lover Lars now feeling “Melancholia” (ha!)?

With wit, reviewed by guest critic Kimmo Mustonenen

Impacts Cannes:  The apocalyptic drama “Melancholia” are pushed into the background – of a provocateur Lars von Trier and his statement that he was a Nazi.

The man is 55, but his reputation as the eternal enfant terrible of cinema, he apparently wants to do justice to all eternity.  Not only in his radical films for which he is loved all over the world and feared, but also outside in a lot more confusing life (is his).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinAt the press conference in Cannes on Wednesday afternoon to his apocalyptic drama “Melancholia”, he was – unfortunately – in this respect too great shape.

He said not only to gentle horror of his leading lady Kirsten Dunst, she was suffering from depression, but claimed this week to shoot on the request of his actors a porno.  Yes!

What?

And when this was not enough, he outed himself as a Nazi even – after his family had German roots.  Hitler was indeed made “a few bad things”, but “I can imagine him in his bunker, in the end, sad.”  Lordy.

The manager of the Film Festival will take place this kind sardonic submissions not funny.  In the early evening, they said in such a short communiqué as sharp, they would never allow such submissions become the stage of Cannes.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinLars von Trier had to ask an explanation for his behavior, now apologized, saying he had “carried away by a provocation” to.

The most peculiar tendency to self-promotion was already in the press release for “Melancholia” are visible.  There, Lars von Trier makes ado self insult to the principle.

“Cream of the Cream,” his film has become, and only the poster, the film stills, the trailer:  The see everything “sort of shit” from.  Likely to say the enfant terrible with the fact that his new film is a great place.  In any case, somehow.

See?  I am not afraid to say it.

At least it is pleasing – or so it seemed up to the press conference – that Lars von Trier has made a deep depression, he set two years ago with “Antichrist” is a frightening monument, found apparently. 

“Melancholia” but told by an identically-giant planet speed towards the earth and swallows them, of nothing less than the end of the world – by swallowing (what?).

But instead of torturing his film characters, as then, his audience physically and mentally, Lars von Trier celebrates its fatalism and nihilism in a disaster film, as we have seen him in such peace before.  And for his concise history, he needs only one scene with highly transparent personnel.

What?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinJustine (Kirsten Dunst in fine forming, but no Ginnifer Goodwin) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgard) celebrate their wedding in a castle, one with an adjacent golf course on the lake, Justine’s sister, Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband John (Kiefer Sutherland).

With the hand-held camera filmed nervously close to the people (like “Cloverfield” – awesome!), the party, not least through active support of the embodied by Charlotte Rampling bride’s mother, similarly gruesome next, as was the family party in Thomas Vinterberg’s Dogma classic “Festen” (1998).

The couple separated on the wedding night, and the mentally unstable Justine remains with Claire’s family on the property alone.  Meanwhile, the planet is approaching inexorably Melancholia:  In five days he should, say the optimists among scientists, just pass by the earth.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinOnly Justine (turning whiter)- or rather, feel – better.  And she suspects the reason the reverse story of creation.  The earth is as evil as the earthlings, and a life out in space after the big bang, there is not anyway.  But this is too much.

If I say again, why see it, no?

A new masterpiece by Lars von Trier?  In “Dancer in the Dark”, which he won the Golden Palm in 2000, reaches “Melancholia” not approach (“Melancholia” to “Dancer in the Dark” – I’m not clear).  But even if the movie almost seems to shrink in proportion as the light blue shimmering star grows into full-length canvas size, it remains a suggestive impressive experience.

Just like the astronomers, because if the human race should flourish once a similar fate, please call the killer planet differently.  Like Conan.  Or Jack Bauer

“Melancholy” does not kill, but is a worthy temperament that helps understand life.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Ginnifer Goodwin to make fun in new television serial this fall on television!  More news when known!