Chris Miller – Behind the Proscenium

21 Jump Street

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First, a truth.

In a second week – I was having the déjà vu, right in my face.

Something else from my happy child times is under attack.

From Hollywood.

The greatest showing in television that wasn’t “Baywatch” (which is the best if only for the great mammary swings in a slower motion – hot stuff!).

And even I, when high or even not, was not much for the original of “21 Jump Street.” Richard Grieco freaked me out – his skin was unnatural and unholy.

But still – why do the Hollywood persons have to bend over everything that was from our pasts and violate the brown eye?

Sometimes the past memory needs its hole revisited.

This past memory is this movie.

If you were to judge the success of a movie-play simply by how much or how little you made me laugh, “21 Jump Street“ would be one of the best I’ve seen in a while.

The effectiveness of the film is amazing, especially based on the same television series of the 80’s whose greatest legacy to cinema it was Johnny Depp (what in bloody hell have you done to Barnabas Collins, Johnny? – I will hurt you when I see you next).

The directors of “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, transfer the same energy and humor that characterized that great this new animated comedy, thankfully, is rated “R”, for full of delicious dirtiness.

The dick jokes were particularly welcome from the mouths of the leads.

Among the best sequences are a feature film that revolves around a trip of hallucinogen (I sure love drugs!) and one in which our “heroes” are involved in a chase on the highway.

Absurd first in nature and the second with his parody of the clichés of the genre of action, show that neither the directors nor the screenwriter Michael Bacall are taken very seriously, which invites the audience to laugh at and with the film.

And then the invitation is make to fire up the bong.

Then the movie is near perfect and good – simultaneously.

Thank you, weed.

Plot? Come on, a plot is needed?!?

O.K. it exists.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star as Schmidt and Jenko, two incompetent cops are reassigned to an old unit not activated from the 80’s that infiltrates as students in a college to stop the transfer of a deadly narcotic.

Ice Cube scowls as the new superior, Captain Dickson, and then he scowls again. And scowls one more time.

I wanted to smoke him out and bring on the smiling. Next time, Mr. Cube.

Things happen. Roles from High School (heh, high school) are reversed.

A big dick in olden days is no longer respected. Fat kids who were openly slapped for smelling like bacon are now the cool.

Up is down.

Sideways is straight.

And comedy is had by all.

Note to self – when stoned at funny movie DO NOT hold ice cream bon bons in the lap – without knowledge you can freeze your nuttles.

Pain!

So, two thumbs higher than I was when seeing this screening!

Funny, clever and no Richard Grieco leather face to give me nightmares.

Better than the stupid show it was “based” on (really only the title is shared correctly).

And my testicles have thawed sufficiently so that the panic is gone from my voice.

Success!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo on Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

Next week – “The Hunger Games.” My Katniss inspired wood is filling with sap.

P.S. To the “sports expert” who helped me with my first NCAA March Insanity pool… you are an asshole. Thank you for saying “Kimmo, take Montana all the way.” No money for me now. I hope your eyeballs fall out and are eaten by your cat. This I mean! Dick.

Puss In Boots

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

So “Shrek” is released on us, at one time.

Then more and more “Shreks” for the counting.

I was sickened… until the “Shrek” comes along and I became gay for a cat.

This cat I love so much?

Puss (which I just found out means “cat,” I was previously confused) in Boots!

Rico Suavẽ!

There was technology.

And technology is cool (except for my new iPhone – it weeps over Steve).

I digress.

This is called a new revolution in film. Oscar-winning technology Fluid Animation System (FLU) has allowed the subtleties of facial expressions to convey the magic characters. The motion of each hair molecule at the talking donkey obeyed the laws of high art and gravity.

The so-called “facial animation system” acted individually – in the computer were driven and character, and how this character is reflected in the muscles and skin – as if the entire face were playing for the same team.

Team Face.

“Smile!” each time gave new results. The result was so absolute and real that the animators decided to take a little back – to keep the feeling of a fairy tale and not so real.

Nothing worse than toddlers screaming “Crap! Real talking cat! Real talking donkey! Real ogre! I have shat myself!” And then they run screaming outside to the lobby and are abducted.

That is too real. Really.

Ten years passed, and now an army of actors, festooned with electronic sensors, depicts a different animation of animals, computer animation is among the leaders in the global box office.

That and those goddamn sparkly vampires (when will the Twi-tards sickness pass over and leave us alone?).

It is now so great that it threatens to blow up the film from the inside and wholly divert his children to make a video game and the main specialties of multiplexes. Which is cool – but not as cool like “Shark Night – 3D“ (I was wasted that day, yeehaw!).

Puss in Boots appeared in the second “Shrek” as an episodic character and two or three scenes pushed into the background and even a donkey and Shrek.

Antonio Banderas gave him his facial expressions and voice, cat dashing Spanish accent, and artists have come up with a brilliant cat.

There we see pleaded rounding the eye (swoon), they become bottomless (swooner), they reproached all our unjust world is so compelling that the frame broke on the world (swoonest), took place on the desks of the secretaries of the world, became the computer screen savers and symbol of the New Cinema.

I told you I was gay for a non-existing cat.

And it became clear that with this film about Puss, Shrek unexpectedly unearthed a gold mine.

The story? Who gives a paska? It is Puss in mother-effin’ Boots!!!

A quibble: While a truly witty film could be obtained if the authors had relied on the mysterious world of cats, and then combined it with a jaded world of a human tales – would open up the abyss of the paradoxes (did I blow your mind? I blew mine.). But it only once managed to touch the mystery cat – this is when the cat begged for mercy, that in a moment to make us their slaves (did I say already that I was gay for this cat?). They understand the price of his discovery, and now replicate the frame again and again. His wait, they admire, but neither higher nor deeper jump is no longer possible.

And that is that… cat!

So, two thumbs straight in to the air – like the butt end of a cat when the scratching happens near the tail.

Just don’t look at the brown-eye.

Cute effect is ruined.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Fringe”, wtf?!? Come on, J.J. Abrams! You already showed me your hate with the last season of “Lost” (yes, you hired showrunners with that eat paste) and now you do the same already again with the last season of “Fringe”?!? I hate you more than Ryan Murphy!

P.S.S. “Once Upon A Time”… thank you Father in Heaven! I can think more dirty Ginnifer Goodwin thoughts! I owe you, God.

Tag: Chris Miller

21 Jump Street [REVIEW]

Puss In Boots [REVIEW]