The Campaign [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney Young

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungThe Campaign

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Oh, Hollywood.

I see you now – the game where my brain is turning to crazy.

I had surrendered already, a white waving of the flag saying “Hollywood, there is nothing expected – stink up the theater and I will write the words… I have no choice. I have nothing in me left to fight.”

Then comes what was never to happen again, or so said my mind thoughts.

Something fun (I needed none of the sweet smoke!).

Something original (no Kossu shots needed, although I had five – habit, and that stuff makes me awesome).

I did not leak from my eyes the salty pain tears.

No.

I saw “The Campaign.”

First, I must speak truth: I thought it was a documentary.

George W. Bush vs. a more hairy Barney Frank.

Then more soberness came to me (alas, it always does).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungWill Ferrell has been a Bush.  He is acting!

Barney Frank with facial bush is Zach Galifianakis.  More acting!

With mincing.  More later.

Plot?  Yes!

Cam Brady (Ferrell) is a congress person from the north of Carolina.

He is a dick, yet is unbeatable in his mind.

Until rich guys want to bring Chinato Americaso they get maybe gay Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) to run.

A baby gets facially punched, the best actor in “The Artist” (Augie!) is brutalized.

But funny.

Baby face punching is funny, America!  And for the first time – I think.

Dog brutalization, less funny.

Marty acts like he has the gay, but it is the subject never talked on

He wears sweaters of the Cosby style. He talks the lisp. We never speak of it.

Cam is “W” (with a much lower body count), but that isn’t talked on, too.

There is much that is distasteful humor to those who think they have the taste.  They do not have the taste.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Campaign, Jay Roach, Shawn Harwell, Chris Henchy, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifanakis, Jason Sudekis, Dylan McDermott, Katherine LaNasa, Sarah Baker, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Brian Cox, Karen Maruyama, Grant Goodman, Kya Haywood, Randall Cunningham, Madison Wolfe, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Lawson, Heather Lawless, Jack McBrayer, Elizabeth Wells Berkes, Billy Slaughter, Aaron Jay Rome, Kate Lang Johnson, Amelia Jackson-Gray, Bobby Tisdale, Wolf Blitzer, Piers Morgan, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Dennis Miller, Lawrence O'Donnell, Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, Willie Geist, Ed Schultz, P.J. Byrne, Patrick Weathers, Gerry May, Tzi Ma, Bill Martin Williams, Danny Vinson, John Reaves, Scott Martin, Rob Mariano, Mike "the Miz" Mizanin, Sandy Bachman, Mick Dalla-Vee, Marc Lafrance, Brent Howard Drudsen, Charles Frederick Turner, Danny Hanemann, Joson Kirkpatrick, Taryn Terrell, J.D. Evermore, Matt Borel, Millard Darden, Mikki Val, Ramona Tyler, Steve Wilkins, Rowan Joseph, Dane Rhodes, Trey Bunant, Joe Chrest, Cranston Clements, John Vidacovitch, Tommy Malone, Sion Daneshrad, Peaches Davis, George Young, Stephanie Dotson, Dylan DePaula, Seth Morris, Tara Copeland, Frank Drank, Luke Jones, Paul Zies, Early Whitesides, Leslea Fisher, Steve Tom, Catherine Stevens, Amber Dawn-Landrum, Dustan Costine, Tim Hickey, Lariel Hennington, Tyne Stecklein, Drystal Ellsworth, Kayla Radomski, Brittany Perry-Russell, Colleen Craig, Leni Ford, Julia Adams, Rhonda Flloyd Aguillard, John Amijo, Kevin Beard, Tim Beckstrom, Kristen Beevers, Nick Blady, Caitlyn Bosarge, Tom Bubrig, Tom Cain, Grant Case, John Cenetiempo, Lee Christian, Paige Cudini, Jennifer Cullicchia, John Daniel, Kasey Emas, Cy Fahrenholtz, Elizabeth Foley, Claire Frederiksen, Paul Gunawan, Russell Haeuser, Emily Haley, Tymberlee Hill, Timothy Hinrickhs, Robert Hotalen, Sara Kenley, John Klein, Arabella Landrum, Ever Eloise Lendrum, Robert Larriviere, Cynthia LeBlanc, Elton LeBlanc, Parker Lovein, Avon Maser, Harlon Miller, Dustin Milligan, Lance Nichols, Jeffery Nowell, Jay Oliver, Terrence Parks, Andrew Plaisance, Catherine Kim Poon, Phillippe Radelet, Jonathan Ray, Christine Craft Regusa, Kirsten Roeters, Annette Doucet Sharpe, Terry Lee Smith, Tyler Soerries, Marco St. John, Jordan Sudduth, Christine Tornry, Michelle Torres, Joseph Uzzell, Daniel Vincent, Carl Walker, Glen Warner, David Michael Warren, Michael Warren, Adam McKay, Jon Poll, Jon Poli, Amy Sayres, Theodore Shapiro, Jim Denault, Craig Alpert, Michael Corenblith, Kelly Curley, Daniel Orlandi, Ravi Mehta, Lenny Vullo, Josh King, Brian Relyea, Joaquin Aragon, Gerard Averill, Maxwell Berry, Christian Brown, Steven Clawson, Tony Cypress, Johnny Eastlund, Bryan Gardiner, Anna Holley, David Midgen, Kyle O'Brien, Scott Parker, Jennifer Ray, Melissa Rosal, Gregory Santoro, Tm Sigur, Lauren Von Huene, Britney YoungThey just have a stick directly up the butt.

This is some funny shit (again, no bong hits prior to the screening – this is NOT a lie!).

This is a summer movie that makes the summer.

No, it is not “Shark Night 3D.”  That was greatness.

This is the funniness.

I can now sit though “The Expendables 2” or (Odin, kill me if I am assigned the seeing of this) “Sparkle.”

But for now, I smile the smile of a happy smile right on my face.

Thank you, “The Campaign.”

So, two thumbs chuckling and (with a guffaw or three) pointing in the air. Although no smoke was in my mind, I recommend it to you.

With the wonderful smoke popcorn tastes better, ice cream is colder, and the film is only 85 minutes of length.

You will still be high when you sneak into the next theater, accidentally, and are watching Hope Springs.” You will need to be high to sit through that crap.  Trust me.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  I raise my glass to my mouth to drink to Tuuli Petaja!  Finland’s only medal in London! In sailing! Huh. Sailing. Yep. Just you bastard laughing people wait until the Winter Olympics.  Our greatness will be like a foot in your ball sack!

P.P.S.  Who will be the winning one on “The Glee Project” finale? Does anybody care? Does Ryan Murphy care?

P.P.P.S.  Kristen Stewart is a slut! I am so proud of her! Is it because her boobs fly free in her next film (“On The Road”)? I am wanting to see that so hard! Has anyone said that about her before? I don’t think so (Twi-tards not included).

Shark Night 3D [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Shark Night 3D, David R. Ellis, Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg, Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee, Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan, Chris Briggs, Douglas Curtis, Tawny Ellis, Mike Fleiss, Lynette Howell, Kelly McCormick, Crystal Powell, Gary Capo, Dinnis Virkler, Kelly Wagner, Jaymes Hinkle, Tricia Schneider, Allan Apone, Chrissy Morris, Solina Tabrizi, Douglas Curtis, Louise Runge, Jason Alteieri, Kim Barnard, Curtis Akin, Robert Lee, David Alexander, Kelly Bellini, Clay Cullen, Jeff Lonn, Bob Bates, Tim Williams, David Bell, Kevin Downer, Nathan Berry-Chaney, Dottie Buck, Jon Dainty, Tecia Esposito, Sean Gowrie, Aaron Brown, Harrison Huffman, Renee Kitterman, Carlos Marinccioni, Traci Martin, Terri Rainha, Scott Smith, Natalie Simpkins, Michael Swafford, James Gibb, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roger Ebert

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Shark Night 3D, David R. Ellis, Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg, Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee, Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan, Chris Briggs, Douglas Curtis, Tawny Ellis, Mike Fleiss, Lynette Howell, Kelly McCormick, Crystal Powell, Gary Capo, Dinnis Virkler, Kelly Wagner, Jaymes Hinkle, Tricia Schneider, Allan Apone, Chrissy Morris, Solina Tabrizi, Douglas Curtis, Louise Runge, Jason Alteieri, Kim Barnard, Curtis Akin, Robert Lee, David Alexander, Kelly Bellini, Clay Cullen, Jeff Lonn, Bob Bates, Tim Williams, David Bell, Kevin Downer, Nathan Berry-Chaney, Dottie Buck, Jon Dainty, Tecia Esposito, Sean Gowrie, Aaron Brown, Harrison Huffman, Renee Kitterman, Carlos Marinccioni, Traci Martin, Terri Rainha, Scott Smith, Natalie Simpkins, Michael Swafford, James Gibb, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roger Ebert“Shark Night 3D”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

3D is the suck.

Roger Ebert knows.

You (the smart “you” people) know.

I know.

But, holy crap, it is “Shark Night 3D”!

Confession – I’ve been saving a fat green bud all summer for this movie experience.  I now live in California and have the glaucoma.

Now go be jealous on me.  It was whack.

I assure you that by now I do not care if David R. Ellis is not a good director.

If we talk about sharks and 3D, all that matters is how these thugs satiate their hunger floating.

Shark thugs that kick (bite?) ass – unlike pansy Sharks in “West Side Story”.

What for a motivations?  To speed exhibitionism and gore, in pursuit of the teenager who was passing by clueless (all teenagers, really)?  Or consciously, choosing his prey as he portrayed the great white Spielberg shark?

Right who will choose the first option.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Shark Night 3D, David R. Ellis, Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg, Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee, Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan, Chris Briggs, Douglas Curtis, Tawny Ellis, Mike Fleiss, Lynette Howell, Kelly McCormick, Crystal Powell, Gary Capo, Dinnis Virkler, Kelly Wagner, Jaymes Hinkle, Tricia Schneider, Allan Apone, Chrissy Morris, Solina Tabrizi, Douglas Curtis, Louise Runge, Jason Alteieri, Kim Barnard, Curtis Akin, Robert Lee, David Alexander, Kelly Bellini, Clay Cullen, Jeff Lonn, Bob Bates, Tim Williams, David Bell, Kevin Downer, Nathan Berry-Chaney, Dottie Buck, Jon Dainty, Tecia Esposito, Sean Gowrie, Aaron Brown, Harrison Huffman, Renee Kitterman, Carlos Marinccioni, Traci Martin, Terri Rainha, Scott Smith, Natalie Simpkins, Michael Swafford, James Gibb, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roger EbertIn fact, without other parallels in your script, “Shark Night 3D” becomes the contemporary equivalent of “Jaws 3D”, which was also the suck, but I’m much too younger to remember.

I am also aware that “Jaws 3D”, even with all its faults, was Richard Matheson as a writer, which in “Shark Night 3D” does not even deserve to be taken into account (I’m sure “Shark Night 3D” had writers – I must check my notes.)

But despite all this, in both cases we speak of products designed to entertain young audiences with sharks, cute girls (va va voom!) and scares of a lifetime.

However, I do not think James Cameron is very happy with this use of film in three dimensions.  For a son of a bitch rich guy, Cameron is often unhappy.  Paradox (new English word!)!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Shark Night 3D, David R. Ellis, Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg, Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee, Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan, Chris Briggs, Douglas Curtis, Tawny Ellis, Mike Fleiss, Lynette Howell, Kelly McCormick, Crystal Powell, Gary Capo, Dinnis Virkler, Kelly Wagner, Jaymes Hinkle, Tricia Schneider, Allan Apone, Chrissy Morris, Solina Tabrizi, Douglas Curtis, Louise Runge, Jason Alteieri, Kim Barnard, Curtis Akin, Robert Lee, David Alexander, Kelly Bellini, Clay Cullen, Jeff Lonn, Bob Bates, Tim Williams, David Bell, Kevin Downer, Nathan Berry-Chaney, Dottie Buck, Jon Dainty, Tecia Esposito, Sean Gowrie, Aaron Brown, Harrison Huffman, Renee Kitterman, Carlos Marinccioni, Traci Martin, Terri Rainha, Scott Smith, Natalie Simpkins, Michael Swafford, James Gibb, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roger EbertIn fact, Ellis uses the same formula with the sensationalism that is distilled in the last gasp in the series “Final Destination” or “Piranha 3D”.

Since we’re talking the director of “Snakes on a Plane”, we could not expect otherwise.  I missed “who let these mother effin’ sharks in this mother effin’ 3D?!?”

Also, lest anyone forget that this is fiction realistic, responsible for managing the animatronic creatures is the great Walt Conti, responsible for this kind of trick in “Anaconda”, “Free Willy” (these titles back to back and I don’t make joke?  Maturity FTW!) and “Deep Blue Sea” (crap pile).

Do you really want to know the plot of the movie?  Judge for yourselves – seven young people from Tulane University summer in one of the most beautiful spots in Louisiana, Lake Pontchartrain.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Behind The Proscenium, Shark Night 3D, David R. Ellis, Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg, Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee, Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan, Chris Briggs, Douglas Curtis, Tawny Ellis, Mike Fleiss, Lynette Howell, Kelly McCormick, Crystal Powell, Gary Capo, Dinnis Virkler, Kelly Wagner, Jaymes Hinkle, Tricia Schneider, Allan Apone, Chrissy Morris, Solina Tabrizi, Douglas Curtis, Louise Runge, Jason Alteieri, Kim Barnard, Curtis Akin, Robert Lee, David Alexander, Kelly Bellini, Clay Cullen, Jeff Lonn, Bob Bates, Tim Williams, David Bell, Kevin Downer, Nathan Berry-Chaney, Dottie Buck, Jon Dainty, Tecia Esposito, Sean Gowrie, Aaron Brown, Harrison Huffman, Renee Kitterman, Carlos Marinccioni, Traci Martin, Terri Rainha, Scott Smith, Natalie Simpkins, Michael Swafford, James Gibb, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roger EbertJust when you begin to have fun, make their appearance sharks, and swimmers choose a dish on their (the sharks… in 3D!!!) menu.

What is not so clear is whether this is a chance zoological hiccup or a sinister plan, designed for other purposes (I see you “Jurassic Park”).

Ellis, already experimented with 3D in “The Final Destination” is an expert in underwater photography since he directed the second unit in the filming of “The Perfect Storm” and “Deep Blue Sea” (that crap pile again).

Mike Fleiss and Chris Briggs, producers, and worked together in “Hostel” (gag me once) and the remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (gag me twice).

Both must have been in the head struck by a rock.  Because “Shark Night 3D” made my summer a fun filled balloon of feel good shark-eating kids.

Was that me or the glaucoma medicine talking?  Or both?

“Shark Night 3D” – Two thumbs pointing straight up like fin on a hungry shark after seeing that hot blonde stretching her bikini!  She was fully formed!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Go Cougs!  (My intern went to Washington State University and paid me $50 to for that in my review appear.  Pay up, honey!)