The Wolverine [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael Horvath

The Wolverine

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

There is much to fall out of my brain and skipping my mouth through straight to typing.

First, “The Wolverine.” I will review it. I promise this right into your face.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathSeconded, the goddamn Royalty child.

Is he to be Luke Skywalker?

Is he to be Jonas Salk?

Will he be able to stuff delicious sausage in his kitchen someday, like cousin Raimo or family friend Petteri?

Maybe all.

Most likely none.

It is a little human squirm worm in the now – all poopy and drooly.

CNN, let the tiny King clone grow into something before filling my 50 inch plasma with nothing.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathThank you.

But the Royal sister in law. Pippen.

I would see her naked and stuff her with my own delicious sausage.

I believe such an action is the way to her heart.

Her royal butt is a national treasure and must be preserved in the Tower or wherever they place the royal butts for public viewing.

Third, why at Comic-Con are there very few for comics to see?

Not crappy “I am standing in front of a mike opening and boy are my arms tired for flapping comic”

No.

Comic BOOK.

Comic-Con needs to have the name “Movies That Nerds Will Squirt On-Com” in the now time. Because the comic book part slides away into the place where A-Ha lives.

Like Purgatory.

Or Chatsworth (L.A. humor FTW!!!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathThe Jack Kirby panel was awesome, I must say once or twice. Not Justice League Movie blah, blah, blah.

So suck it, nerds.

Oh, and Batman vs. Superman? You mean the movie Tim Burton should have made slightly after the Big Bang event of too big movies in my childhood?

“The Dark Night Returns” is still waiting for the filming to be in its now (graphic novel – 1986 – “I’ve got the home stretch all to myself…”).

Where have you gone, Frank Miller? Make it happen!

Damn! That was a good feeling for me!

With words my mind can lance the icky boil of its own making. The mind cluster thoughts that make me yell at my cat.

Yet, she never listens or makes mad.

Good kitty.

Ooze, mind boil. Ooze. My cat needs no more loud words.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael Horvath“The Wolverine.”

I almost had to forget why we are here.

I saw “X-Men Origins – Wolverine.” I thought the same was to be, but no. There is now Japan, and when there is not Anime.

Boy howdy, without Anime Japan can be cool.

This is good.

The Kossu and sweet, sweet smoke had me to believe that the before times were the now times (at the same time!  Mind blown.)

No. The more things are the same the more they may change.

Plot? Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I review?

Encountering each other once they were in Nagasaki during the atomic bomb (in the past) are Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman – veiny muscles!!!) with important Japanese guy (Important Japanese Actor – I was not racist, just higher than Asgard – still am), is in the apocalyptic destruction of violence for a fleeting moment, an impression of the curse and blessing of Wolverine’s superhuman self-healing forces.

Atom bomb?

Yo, I’m Wolverine, bitch (thank you Jesse Pinkman!)!!!

This capability provides Yashida (Important Actor is Haruhiko Yamanouchi, HA, apologize to Kimmo now!) to take on himself, so that his old friend can have a normal life with “an ordinary death” – and he himself immortality.

Son of a bitch.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathWolverine hesitates long enough to burial Yashida whose granddaughter and sole heiress Mariko (Tao Okamoto) has desperately needed a seemingly invulnerable watch dog.

That’s it. Dammit.

The Kossu says “no more GD plot – it brings back the flashbacks.”

I’m done.

My brain cells are back at Comic-Con, hearing nerds argue over which Princess Leia was more for boner eruption.

Obviously, the one in glasses. But only those that had a prescription. Fake glasses are the suck and make a loser.

Like a fake wheelchair. Not cool.

Except, I guess, for line cutting at the land of Disney. I am ashamed for doing it…

So, two thumbs… UP! Like my bone.

Crazy.

Famke Janssen alone is my magnificent queen! Two hot old chicks with their asses making to kick in a row (see “R.I.P.D.” review from last week, I will not stop you – Mary-Louise Parker is waiting for your eyes for her to see her) is summer movie greatness.

Finally, and no CGI needed. I’m ready for my “Pacific Rim” job.  Heh, heh, heh.

You go, girls.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Under The Dome” from great to “dog butt scoot carpet stain” in four weeks. It took “Lost” six seasons to ruin the rug that was my senses. Congrats, Under the Dumb. You are the Oreck Vacuum of suck.

Battleship [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. Smith

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBattleship 

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Once again, the youth is easy picking for the child predators.

Our youth be the memories.

The predator?

Hollywood.

Again.

B4 – Hit!  But in an inappropriate way on my child thoughts.

J1 – Miss!  But not for your lacking at the trying.

J10 – Oh, you sunk my Battleship memories of fun and now is just CGI shit-fest!  (I slap my forehead and into the lake backwards off the dock I reel, “You sunk my childhood!”).

My excitement rises like a boil in my armpit.

What’s next?  “Bingo – The Movie?”

So, it seems that sailors are the cool.

So cool that they must fight a Transformer-like army from a wet dream on the Michael Bay sheets.

Mom, his sheets need changing.

His camera moves even in the night.  It never stops.

Would that he would go blind.  Michael Bay.

And he had nothing to do with this – except inspire it – with his camera frantic wet penis dreams.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithI hate him.

HATE HIM.

So, like a turd in a punchbowl, “Battleship” floats.

Like the turd, we wish for its existence to end.

Like the turd, its existence is demanded.

It’s in our damn punchbowl.

Fuck.

Plot?  Really?

Are you kidding my brain?

Battleships.  Other ships.  Crazy alien shit.

Kaboom!!!!

Destroyers.  Cruise missiles.  Actors.

Kablooie!!!.  Waves.  More actors.

Fizzle.

I need a drink.

Burp.

Good things, though?  Hells yeah!.

Rhianna (character irrelevant) in shrink-to-fit with a blow-dryer body suit carrying a gun as big as a redneck making up for his short penis… Hells yeah!

She is #1 in my Masturbation Memory Bank – with a bullet (take a seat Christina Aguilera).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo On Kino, Battleship, Peter Berg, Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNicol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory Gadson, Jerry Ferrara, Adam Godley, Rico McClinton, Joji Yoshida, Louis Lombardi, Norman Vincent McLafferty, Stephen Bishop, Dante Jimenez, Daven Arce, Ralph Richardson, Biunca Love, Michael Sherman, Austin Naulty, Patricia Brown, Gregory Harvey, James Rawlings, Andrew Serpas, Damien Seanard Parker, Carson Aune, Doug Penty, Josh Pence, Jason Henderson, Brint Terrell, Brad Faucheux, Dustin Reno, John Schmotzer, Jonathon Groves, Lloyd Pitts, Ryan Tinio, Allie Sillah, John Santiago, Kiley Margeson, Jeffrey Johns, Esther Solomon, Kevin Garlington, Anthony Czumalowski, James Hadde, Pat Lancaster, Jordan Kirkwood, Jane Dubiel, John A. Weaver, Mark Lindquist, Phil Neilson, Dane Justman, Dustin Watchman, Drew Rausch, Ryland Reamy, Donald Willcutt, Eli Miranda, Josh Demuth, Thomas Grieser, Chris Darling, Tyrone Gregg, Brian Hirono, Yutaka Takeuchi, Nobuharu Harada, Masaomi Uchida, Kyle Ken Shimabukuro, Masashi Takekawa, Hyoe Joe Takahashi, Rick Hoffman, Stephen Baldini, Bill Stinchcomb, Bruce Mandell, Gary Grubbs, David Jensen, Mike Meldman, Hunter Meldman, George Arine, Bill McMullen, Joe Chrest, Benjamin Lloyd, Billy Slaughter, Griff Furst, Terri Battee, Angelo Denova, Colby Parker, Geoff Clayton, David Kors, Christopher McGahan, Kerry Cahill, Liz Wicker, Michelle Arthur, Natalia Castellanos, Dan Cooke, Leni Ito, Jay Jackson, Jackie Johnson, Frank Doyle, Robin Atkin Downes, Zach Selwyn, Leonard Rogers, Citizen Cope, Evan Bernard, Cora Yamagata, Frank Cassavetes, Thomas McCurdy, Robert Hotalen, Rami Malek, Ray Mabus, Marissa Nordhelm, Ronald Chavez, Legrand Strickland, Michael Vernon, Jason Wilken, James Ward, Phillip Trifilo, William Powers, Donald Dailey, Bill Carr, Dennis M. Keating, Garrett Lynch, Wallace Mackensen, William Long, Edward Drew, John Culkin, Hiram Fong, Larry Wegger, Dallas Kane Hewitt, Adam Sibley, James Rish, George O'Hanlon, Wesley Phelps, Marcus Lyle Brown, Kyle Russell Clements, Kevin P. Kearns, John Bell, Conor McCarry, Dylan Gillooly, Adrian Bellani, Tom Cain, Philip Trifilo, Teresa Alvarez, Luing Andrews, Reila Aphrodite, Joshua Aucoin, Fileena Bahris, Joanne Bahris, Tim Blanchard, Raj K. Bose, Beau Brasseaux, Curtis Bush, Edward J. Clare, Davo Coria, Kamakani De Dely, Annie Doiron, Paul Edney, Kerry Ellington, Kasey Emas, Gregory Allen Gabroy, Jaq Galliano, Mickey Graue, Paul Gunawan, Martin William Harris, Dakota Hill, Sean Douglas Hoban, Kailtlin Hoychick, James Koons, Anthony A. Kung, Greg Liem, Rebecca Maltby, Wes Martinez, Ed Moy, Jane Runnalls, Rhonda Schaubert, Barbara Southern, Kelly R. Thomas, Lauren Thomas, Michael Wozniak, Elvin Yoshida, Todd Arnow, Sarah Aubrey, Chen On Chu, Brian Goldner, Duncan Henderson, Bennett Schneir, Scott Stuber, Steve Jablonsky, Tobias Schliessler, Colby Parker, Billy Rich, Paul Rubell, Neil Spisak, Candice Campos, Renee Confair, Michael Malone, Wendy Wong, Sean Stratton, Matt Goldstein, Eric Heffron, Hideaki Jimbo, Lemon Liu, Michael J. Moore, Phil Neilson, Richard Oswald, Taylor Phillips, Basti Van Der Woude, Andrew Ward, Marvin Williams, Lloyd Barachina, Hunter Baxley, Damon Caro, Gene Harline, Scott Hunter, Ben Jensen, Don King, Sara Hartman, Kevin Hickman, Justin Yates, Zack Bartow, David Becker, Leif Akaji, Amanda Avanzino, Frank Barnett, Tyler Belcik, John Bellina, Chuck Bennethum, Monty Bennett, William Wyatt Blomingdale, Matthew Bonneau, Shawn Booth, Kara Bowman, Lisa Calhoun, Damien Callais, Timmy Chinn, Katrin Chong, Shalyn Clark, Jessica Cole, Kyle Cooper, Zane Crump, Drew Maximillion Davis, Brittney Diez, Sophia Dilley, Travis Fontenot, Michael Galasso, Rhett Guillot, Cheri Hall, Parker Haynes, nancy Honeycutt, Rachel Jacob, Evan Johnson, Jodiah Johnson, Peter Jones, Kim Ju, Nathan Kimball, Nicole Kiele Matteson, Shauna Moss, Crystal Munson, Bill Phillips, Stockton David Porter, Ryan Redmond, Kim Ronstadt, Johnny Santiago, Andy Scott, Caroline Seale, Allen Taylor, Karla Torres, Kanesha Washington, Richard Wilson, Bonnie Campanella, Pablo Paz, Michael L. SmithBrooklyn Decker’s cleavage?

If heaven was of boobs, I’m in heaven.

Liam Neeson (character irrelevant, but higher rank – not in my MMB, but in Navy) growls like a bear.

Poor Liam.  Wife dead from ski head rock, but will take any movie like a new generation Michael Caine.

I understand.  Take the money.

But, son of a bitch buddy, not this!

You sunk my “give a shit!”

Could I write more?  If, by the word paid, then yes.

But this is the summer movie shit-storm beginning.  I will see the same thing.  I will write the same thing.  Greed will overtake my mind more than the Rhianna-lust.

Shit movie is shit movie.

This reviewer is drooling on the coming of “Prometheus.”

Wrong?  I could be.

But the belief that summer BANG movies can be smarter than me?  I hope.  I believe.

As for “Battleship?”  I am sad with the thought that for some retards, this turd will float.

No.  Please.

And “no” again.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol.”  Make me proud.  White Guy With Guitar #5 FTW!!!!!!  And then disappear quickly.  That is the pattern.