Prometheus [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul Zieleniec

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecPrometheus

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“Prometheus!”

Finally!

I gathered my supplies – for movie ogling and note taking, sweet sticky bud smoked in my car.

The a large coke.

No popcorn.

The greasy corn turns my note sheets into transparent unreading mush.

Now for reviewing I drink the kossu.

But trouble is in a dangling Damocles sword over my head.

So much kossu has been in my mouth hole that I must get a liver ultrasound tomorrow!

How is this can possible?

Is this the end for Kimmo?

Is this the end for kossu?

I am the bummer… but wow – “Prometheus!”

Considered one of the great directors in 30 years, has in some of the best films in the field of science fiction (and others) and with each new film attracts audiences from simple village idiots to up hardcore cinephiles.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecHis name is Ridley Scott and has nothing to prove anything anymore.

Except for “Gladiator.”

That movie was more the funny than “Monty Python And The Holy Grail” but still a shit log.

The legendary “Alien” is undoubtedly the expected movies of the year and shortly before he had released the movie trailer was enough to cause a frenzy of fans.

And geeks are frenzied bunch!

Virgins can get nasty.

Plot?  Hells yeah!

The mythical Prometheus created the first humans from clay and fire (made sense while stoned – now suspect).

The spacecraft “Prometheus”, Scott starts from the realm of uncertainty to come to the eternal mystery of the origin of the first man.

The theories on the creation of man from the aliens are not new, their roots hold thousands of years since man began to think consciously and carved on the walls.

Conscious men never got their deposits back.

Do not carve on the walls.

Or let your cat pee on the carpet.

From the first minutes of the film and the spectacular opening of the thirsty viewer (a large coke is quickly drunken when the sweet bud is in my head) is confronted with all these unanswered questions in a 3D world (damn, 3D that worked!) abundant charm and a spectacle that nourishes the eye and excites the imagination.

The work done in special effects and generally in all the scenery is truly worthy of attention and the most rigorous and demanding audience.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Prometheus, Ridley Scott, Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof, Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Patrick Wilson, Lucy Hutchinson, Anil Biltoo, Matthew Burgess, Rhona Croker, Charalambos Dendrinos, Branwell Donaghey, Robin Atkin Downes, Sonam Dugdak, Reynir Thor Eggertsson, James Embree, Giannina Facio, Vladimir Furdo Furdik, Daniel James, John Lebar, Philip McGinley, Eugene O'Hare, Shin-Ichiro Okajima, Annie Penn, Jenny Rainsford, Wannaporn Rienjiang, Florian Robin, Zed Sevcikova, C.C. Smiff, Louisa Staples, Shane Steyn, Richard Thomson, Wambui Wa-Ngatho, Ian Whyte, Berhane Woldegabriel, Michael Costigan, Michael Ellenberg, David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Nikolas Korda, Tony Scott, Marc Streitenfeld, Dariusz Wolski, Pietro Scalia, Nina Gold, Arthur Max, Alex Cameron, Sonja Klaus, Janty Yates, Sam Breckman, Leifur B. Bagfinnsson, Finnur Johannsson, Nikolas Korda, Hermione Ninnim, Matthew Baker, Sarah Brand, Max Keene, Tony Christian, Stuart Clark, james Embree, Peter Miles, Ed Coy, Shaun O'Dell, Marc Wolff, James Barham, Nick Davis, Kathleen Latlip, John Barrett, Roger Suen, Paul Allen, Philip Ball, Alex Boyd, Emma Brazier, Aneta Chalas, Andrew Cooke, Luke Clare, Kay Di Rezze, Charles Edwards, Andri Egilsson, Bima Paulina Einarsdottir, Charlie Elson, Scott Ennis, Steve Hart, James Linville, Nick Murray, Joana Powell, Jacek Pulanecki, Ranya Ruby, Sarah Trowse, Josh Weston, Vanessa Whyte, Ed Wise, Paul ZieleniecAlso the cast of Scott in the film include Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron as “robot” and “ruthless woman” respectively and are highly successful.

Charlize has given me two cinematic boners in my pants this year.

This is a good year for Kimmo!

Noomi Rapace is the good.  No shit.

She is the girl in a shrink-to-fit-with-blow-dryer space suit that showed her a good ass actor.

So confusion comes.  Is this cinematic boner for Noomi or Charlize?

Do I really care?

So, two thumbs throbbing like my love of the Charl-oomi.

I want.  And then I want more.

The view is the almost obligatory to all lovers of science fiction and general lovers of the dark room.

Go see this thing.

Twice.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Game of Thrones” season 2 in the books.  We have White Walkers in Finland.  We call them “drunk relatives in the snow.”  They are less scary in Finland but smell worse.  Now, back to my bong and the worry thoughts that will bring me to tomorrow.  If I must not drink of the kossu, is live worth living?  These thoughts must be thought.

John Carter [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, John Carter, Disney, Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston, Polly Walker, Daryl Sabara, Arkie Reece, Davood Ghadami, Pippa Nixon, James Embree, Phillip Philmar, Figs Jackman, Emily Tierney, Edmund Kente, Rupert Frazer, Nicholas Woodeson, Kyle Agnew, Don Stark, Josh Daugherty, Jared Cyr, Sean Carrigan, Dusty Sorg, Christopher Goodman, Amanda Clayton, Akima, Joseph Billingiere, Aldred Montoya, Phil Cheadle, David Schwimmer, Arnie Alpert, Ian Ray, Peggy Clements, Evelyn Dubuc, Jhil McEntyre, Daniel O'Meara, Emma Clifford, Oliver Boot, Rebecca Sarker, Philip Arditti, Jon Favreau, Art Malik, Holly Weston, Gary Milner, Cate Fowler, Darwin Shaw, Eileen Page, Simon Page, Simon Evans, Myriam Acharki, Steven Cree, Garry Tubbs, Jeremy Booth, Jill Baker, Lindsey Collins, Jim Morris, Bob Roath, Colin Wilson, Michael Giacchino, Daniel Mindel, Eric Zumbrunnen, Marcia Ross, Nathan Crowley, David Allday, Ryan Church, Paki Smith, Mayes C. Rubeo, Kevin Alexander, Kim Ayers, Sarah Hamilton, Lora Laing, Katie Lee, Gemma Richards, Linda A. Borgeson, Duncan Broadfoot, Jan Foster, Steve Harding, Lori Komgiebel, Ellen H. Schwartz, Sharyn Shimada-Huggins, Adam Teeuw, Jennifer Teves, Mark Andrews, Chloe Chesterton, Joey Coughlin, Bac DeLorme, Ben Dixon, Fraser Fennell-Ball, Lily Garcia, Tommy Gormley, Toby Hefferman, Toby Hosking, James McGrady, David Pearson, Samar Pollitt, Ellen Rosentreter, Mollie Stallman, Jeff Taylor, Andrew Ward, Laine Abramson, Wayne Barlowe, Tim Browning, Jim Buchan, Jenne Lee, David Krentz, Michael King, Doug Cram, Paul Daiko, Russell Darling, Lee Dexter, Amber Wilkins, Nina Armstrong, Bruce Cain, Sy Hollands, Aaron Lee Lopez, Maxine Whittaker, Rene Adefarasin, Eric Amundsen, Colin Anderson, Rocky Babcock, Kurtis Burr, Kristen Correll, Holly Dorff, Katy Jensen, Colin Jones, Toby Spigel, Gail Stevens, Perry Goyen, Milton Adamou, Alex Anstey, Ralph Foster, Toby Looyd, Ben McCambridge, Lindsey Morrow, Will Snow, Peter Boyer, Andrea Datzman, Stephen Davis, Ira Hearshen, Julie Minasian, Bobbi Page, Stephen Lawrence, Gerry Turner, Josh Allan, Will Barker, Dallin Bassett, Danielle Bennett, Ashley Berlanga, Valentina Borfecchia, Lucie Bourgeau, Evan Brainard, Krystal Call, Stephanie Cannon, Erika Carlson, Shoky Carter, Cindy Ceglarek, Karolina Cerna, Claire Chandou, Paige Chaytor, Felix Chen, Kit Conners, Natania Cook, Lucy Cover, Richard Daldry, Kelsey Daniels, Alicia Davies, Holly Dorff, Ellie Downham, Rachelle Duncan, Angus Ellis, Joy Ellison, Richard Enriquez, Neale Fishback, Jeffrey Fox, Jenny Fumarolo, Carla Gale, Paul Gibbs, STeve Goldstein, Sarah Goller, Tiffany Gomes, Daniel Gonzalez, Nicky Gregory, Anna Halberg, Brandon Hamilton, Lucy Howell, Meredith Humbracht, Michael Johnson, Matthew Lawson, Katherine McCormack, Ryan McDowell, Alastair McNeil, Jennifer Milliman, Todd Minobe, Rachel Moceri, John David Moffat, Alex Molden, Ciaran Moran, Michael Mungroo, Chris Norman, Russell Nunley, Ann Ormesher, Dilip Patel, Kyle Paul, Brigitte Pauli, Ryan Pederson, Annie Penn, Jason Potter, Leslie Quan, Jason Ragosta, Bobby Ravanshenas, Brooke Redmon, Bob Roath, Nanw Rowlands, Matthew Sampson, Brooke Schaertl, Shane Schoeppner, Andy Scoty, Jason Seaton, Gianna Simone, Kelly Taylor-Dias

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, John Carter, Disney, Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston, Polly Walker, Daryl Sabara, Arkie Reece, Davood Ghadami, Pippa Nixon, James Embree, Phillip Philmar, Figs Jackman, Emily Tierney, Edmund Kente, Rupert Frazer, Nicholas Woodeson, Kyle Agnew, Don Stark, Josh Daugherty, Jared Cyr, Sean Carrigan, Dusty Sorg, Christopher Goodman, Amanda Clayton, Akima, Joseph Billingiere, Aldred Montoya, Phil Cheadle, David Schwimmer, Arnie Alpert, Ian Ray, Peggy Clements, Evelyn Dubuc, Jhil McEntyre, Daniel O'Meara, Emma Clifford, Oliver Boot, Rebecca Sarker, Philip Arditti, Jon Favreau, Art Malik, Holly Weston, Gary Milner, Cate Fowler, Darwin Shaw, Eileen Page, Simon Page, Simon Evans, Myriam Acharki, Steven Cree, Garry Tubbs, Jeremy Booth, Jill Baker, Lindsey Collins, Jim Morris, Bob Roath, Colin Wilson, Michael Giacchino, Daniel Mindel, Eric Zumbrunnen, Marcia Ross, Nathan Crowley, David Allday, Ryan Church, Paki Smith, Mayes C. Rubeo, Kevin Alexander, Kim Ayers, Sarah Hamilton, Lora Laing, Katie Lee, Gemma Richards, Linda A. Borgeson, Duncan Broadfoot, Jan Foster, Steve Harding, Lori Komgiebel, Ellen H. Schwartz, Sharyn Shimada-Huggins, Adam Teeuw, Jennifer Teves, Mark Andrews, Chloe Chesterton, Joey Coughlin, Bac DeLorme, Ben Dixon, Fraser Fennell-Ball, Lily Garcia, Tommy Gormley, Toby Hefferman, Toby Hosking, James McGrady, David Pearson, Samar Pollitt, Ellen Rosentreter, Mollie Stallman, Jeff Taylor, Andrew Ward, Laine Abramson, Wayne Barlowe, Tim Browning, Jim Buchan, Jenne Lee, David Krentz, Michael King, Doug Cram, Paul Daiko, Russell Darling, Lee Dexter, Amber Wilkins, Nina Armstrong, Bruce Cain, Sy Hollands, Aaron Lee Lopez, Maxine Whittaker, Rene Adefarasin, Eric Amundsen, Colin Anderson, Rocky Babcock, Kurtis Burr, Kristen Correll, Holly Dorff, Katy Jensen, Colin Jones, Toby Spigel, Gail Stevens, Perry Goyen, Milton Adamou, Alex Anstey, Ralph Foster, Toby Looyd, Ben McCambridge, Lindsey Morrow, Will Snow, Peter Boyer, Andrea Datzman, Stephen Davis, Ira Hearshen, Julie Minasian, Bobbi Page, Stephen Lawrence, Gerry Turner, Josh Allan, Will Barker, Dallin Bassett, Danielle Bennett, Ashley Berlanga, Valentina Borfecchia, Lucie Bourgeau, Evan Brainard, Krystal Call, Stephanie Cannon, Erika Carlson, Shoky Carter, Cindy Ceglarek, Karolina Cerna, Claire Chandou, Paige Chaytor, Felix Chen, Kit Conners, Natania Cook, Lucy Cover, Richard Daldry, Kelsey Daniels, Alicia Davies, Holly Dorff, Ellie Downham, Rachelle Duncan, Angus Ellis, Joy Ellison, Richard Enriquez, Neale Fishback, Jeffrey Fox, Jenny Fumarolo, Carla Gale, Paul Gibbs, STeve Goldstein, Sarah Goller, Tiffany Gomes, Daniel Gonzalez, Nicky Gregory, Anna Halberg, Brandon Hamilton, Lucy Howell, Meredith Humbracht, Michael Johnson, Matthew Lawson, Katherine McCormack, Ryan McDowell, Alastair McNeil, Jennifer Milliman, Todd Minobe, Rachel Moceri, John David Moffat, Alex Molden, Ciaran Moran, Michael Mungroo, Chris Norman, Russell Nunley, Ann Ormesher, Dilip Patel, Kyle Paul, Brigitte Pauli, Ryan Pederson, Annie Penn, Jason Potter, Leslie Quan, Jason Ragosta, Bobby Ravanshenas, Brooke Redmon, Bob Roath, Nanw Rowlands, Matthew Sampson, Brooke Schaertl, Shane Schoeppner, Andy Scoty, Jason Seaton, Gianna Simone, Kelly Taylor-DiasJohn Carter

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

This week starts with a happiness explosion from my head mind (but not in the pants, dirty people).

“Kimmo, you are the man with a bag of lucky!” say I, Kimmo, to the self inside.

You see, I am to review my first love.

Not a human person.  But a reading experience of youth.

Yes, the books series that made many endless Finnish nights come to an end.

An end that of happiness.  That in Finland we call “morning.”

From “A Princess of Mars” through the crappy yet wonderful “John Carter of Mars: Skeleton Men of Jupiter” all asses were kicked.

Green and caucasian. Those from Helium to far off Ptarth

Then my first meat whacking to thoughts of Dejah Thoris (so hot in my mind!  Best whack ever!).

How could Mr. Hollywood put the screw in the butt of “John Carter?”

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, John Carter, Disney, Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston, Polly Walker, Daryl Sabara, Arkie Reece, Davood Ghadami, Pippa Nixon, James Embree, Phillip Philmar, Figs Jackman, Emily Tierney, Edmund Kente, Rupert Frazer, Nicholas Woodeson, Kyle Agnew, Don Stark, Josh Daugherty, Jared Cyr, Sean Carrigan, Dusty Sorg, Christopher Goodman, Amanda Clayton, Akima, Joseph Billingiere, Aldred Montoya, Phil Cheadle, David Schwimmer, Arnie Alpert, Ian Ray, Peggy Clements, Evelyn Dubuc, Jhil McEntyre, Daniel O'Meara, Emma Clifford, Oliver Boot, Rebecca Sarker, Philip Arditti, Jon Favreau, Art Malik, Holly Weston, Gary Milner, Cate Fowler, Darwin Shaw, Eileen Page, Simon Page, Simon Evans, Myriam Acharki, Steven Cree, Garry Tubbs, Jeremy Booth, Jill Baker, Lindsey Collins, Jim Morris, Bob Roath, Colin Wilson, Michael Giacchino, Daniel Mindel, Eric Zumbrunnen, Marcia Ross, Nathan Crowley, David Allday, Ryan Church, Paki Smith, Mayes C. Rubeo, Kevin Alexander, Kim Ayers, Sarah Hamilton, Lora Laing, Katie Lee, Gemma Richards, Linda A. Borgeson, Duncan Broadfoot, Jan Foster, Steve Harding, Lori Komgiebel, Ellen H. Schwartz, Sharyn Shimada-Huggins, Adam Teeuw, Jennifer Teves, Mark Andrews, Chloe Chesterton, Joey Coughlin, Bac DeLorme, Ben Dixon, Fraser Fennell-Ball, Lily Garcia, Tommy Gormley, Toby Hefferman, Toby Hosking, James McGrady, David Pearson, Samar Pollitt, Ellen Rosentreter, Mollie Stallman, Jeff Taylor, Andrew Ward, Laine Abramson, Wayne Barlowe, Tim Browning, Jim Buchan, Jenne Lee, David Krentz, Michael King, Doug Cram, Paul Daiko, Russell Darling, Lee Dexter, Amber Wilkins, Nina Armstrong, Bruce Cain, Sy Hollands, Aaron Lee Lopez, Maxine Whittaker, Rene Adefarasin, Eric Amundsen, Colin Anderson, Rocky Babcock, Kurtis Burr, Kristen Correll, Holly Dorff, Katy Jensen, Colin Jones, Toby Spigel, Gail Stevens, Perry Goyen, Milton Adamou, Alex Anstey, Ralph Foster, Toby Looyd, Ben McCambridge, Lindsey Morrow, Will Snow, Peter Boyer, Andrea Datzman, Stephen Davis, Ira Hearshen, Julie Minasian, Bobbi Page, Stephen Lawrence, Gerry Turner, Josh Allan, Will Barker, Dallin Bassett, Danielle Bennett, Ashley Berlanga, Valentina Borfecchia, Lucie Bourgeau, Evan Brainard, Krystal Call, Stephanie Cannon, Erika Carlson, Shoky Carter, Cindy Ceglarek, Karolina Cerna, Claire Chandou, Paige Chaytor, Felix Chen, Kit Conners, Natania Cook, Lucy Cover, Richard Daldry, Kelsey Daniels, Alicia Davies, Holly Dorff, Ellie Downham, Rachelle Duncan, Angus Ellis, Joy Ellison, Richard Enriquez, Neale Fishback, Jeffrey Fox, Jenny Fumarolo, Carla Gale, Paul Gibbs, STeve Goldstein, Sarah Goller, Tiffany Gomes, Daniel Gonzalez, Nicky Gregory, Anna Halberg, Brandon Hamilton, Lucy Howell, Meredith Humbracht, Michael Johnson, Matthew Lawson, Katherine McCormack, Ryan McDowell, Alastair McNeil, Jennifer Milliman, Todd Minobe, Rachel Moceri, John David Moffat, Alex Molden, Ciaran Moran, Michael Mungroo, Chris Norman, Russell Nunley, Ann Ormesher, Dilip Patel, Kyle Paul, Brigitte Pauli, Ryan Pederson, Annie Penn, Jason Potter, Leslie Quan, Jason Ragosta, Bobby Ravanshenas, Brooke Redmon, Bob Roath, Nanw Rowlands, Matthew Sampson, Brooke Schaertl, Shane Schoeppner, Andy Scoty, Jason Seaton, Gianna Simone, Kelly Taylor-DiasApparently with the ease of an experienced person who screws the butt of most great books for reading.

Disappointment is a pain that crawls in my stomach like a worm.

Or, here, like green four-armed Tars Tarkas (read the damn books!).

Crappy 3-D?  Check!

CGI that is less than real than fake!  Check!

$250 million spent on the crapping?  Check!

Plot?  Too much.

John Carter to Barsoom is somehow to there from here (Barsoom is Mars to Martians and others that have been to visit… Mars).

John falls in with Tharns who are green, four-armed, and totally whack.

I didn’t know that the William Dafoe had four arms – he is a good actor.

Carter (the hero) is played as a piece of white bread (Taylor Kitsch) with muscles.

And the whack queen of my first teens, Dejah Thoris, is the un-whack worth Lynn Collins.

Hollywood, you had almost 100 years to make a piece that is of a master and this is the warm pile that comes out?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, John Carter, Disney, Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston, Polly Walker, Daryl Sabara, Arkie Reece, Davood Ghadami, Pippa Nixon, James Embree, Phillip Philmar, Figs Jackman, Emily Tierney, Edmund Kente, Rupert Frazer, Nicholas Woodeson, Kyle Agnew, Don Stark, Josh Daugherty, Jared Cyr, Sean Carrigan, Dusty Sorg, Christopher Goodman, Amanda Clayton, Akima, Joseph Billingiere, Aldred Montoya, Phil Cheadle, David Schwimmer, Arnie Alpert, Ian Ray, Peggy Clements, Evelyn Dubuc, Jhil McEntyre, Daniel O'Meara, Emma Clifford, Oliver Boot, Rebecca Sarker, Philip Arditti, Jon Favreau, Art Malik, Holly Weston, Gary Milner, Cate Fowler, Darwin Shaw, Eileen Page, Simon Page, Simon Evans, Myriam Acharki, Steven Cree, Garry Tubbs, Jeremy Booth, Jill Baker, Lindsey Collins, Jim Morris, Bob Roath, Colin Wilson, Michael Giacchino, Daniel Mindel, Eric Zumbrunnen, Marcia Ross, Nathan Crowley, David Allday, Ryan Church, Paki Smith, Mayes C. Rubeo, Kevin Alexander, Kim Ayers, Sarah Hamilton, Lora Laing, Katie Lee, Gemma Richards, Linda A. Borgeson, Duncan Broadfoot, Jan Foster, Steve Harding, Lori Komgiebel, Ellen H. Schwartz, Sharyn Shimada-Huggins, Adam Teeuw, Jennifer Teves, Mark Andrews, Chloe Chesterton, Joey Coughlin, Bac DeLorme, Ben Dixon, Fraser Fennell-Ball, Lily Garcia, Tommy Gormley, Toby Hefferman, Toby Hosking, James McGrady, David Pearson, Samar Pollitt, Ellen Rosentreter, Mollie Stallman, Jeff Taylor, Andrew Ward, Laine Abramson, Wayne Barlowe, Tim Browning, Jim Buchan, Jenne Lee, David Krentz, Michael King, Doug Cram, Paul Daiko, Russell Darling, Lee Dexter, Amber Wilkins, Nina Armstrong, Bruce Cain, Sy Hollands, Aaron Lee Lopez, Maxine Whittaker, Rene Adefarasin, Eric Amundsen, Colin Anderson, Rocky Babcock, Kurtis Burr, Kristen Correll, Holly Dorff, Katy Jensen, Colin Jones, Toby Spigel, Gail Stevens, Perry Goyen, Milton Adamou, Alex Anstey, Ralph Foster, Toby Looyd, Ben McCambridge, Lindsey Morrow, Will Snow, Peter Boyer, Andrea Datzman, Stephen Davis, Ira Hearshen, Julie Minasian, Bobbi Page, Stephen Lawrence, Gerry Turner, Josh Allan, Will Barker, Dallin Bassett, Danielle Bennett, Ashley Berlanga, Valentina Borfecchia, Lucie Bourgeau, Evan Brainard, Krystal Call, Stephanie Cannon, Erika Carlson, Shoky Carter, Cindy Ceglarek, Karolina Cerna, Claire Chandou, Paige Chaytor, Felix Chen, Kit Conners, Natania Cook, Lucy Cover, Richard Daldry, Kelsey Daniels, Alicia Davies, Holly Dorff, Ellie Downham, Rachelle Duncan, Angus Ellis, Joy Ellison, Richard Enriquez, Neale Fishback, Jeffrey Fox, Jenny Fumarolo, Carla Gale, Paul Gibbs, STeve Goldstein, Sarah Goller, Tiffany Gomes, Daniel Gonzalez, Nicky Gregory, Anna Halberg, Brandon Hamilton, Lucy Howell, Meredith Humbracht, Michael Johnson, Matthew Lawson, Katherine McCormack, Ryan McDowell, Alastair McNeil, Jennifer Milliman, Todd Minobe, Rachel Moceri, John David Moffat, Alex Molden, Ciaran Moran, Michael Mungroo, Chris Norman, Russell Nunley, Ann Ormesher, Dilip Patel, Kyle Paul, Brigitte Pauli, Ryan Pederson, Annie Penn, Jason Potter, Leslie Quan, Jason Ragosta, Bobby Ravanshenas, Brooke Redmon, Bob Roath, Nanw Rowlands, Matthew Sampson, Brooke Schaertl, Shane Schoeppner, Andy Scoty, Jason Seaton, Gianna Simone, Kelly Taylor-DiasWhat happened Mr. Director (Andrew Stanton)?  With “Wall-E” I cried at mechanical homeless person who was lost among obese Americans lost in space.

Now even green, multi-limbed, bad-ass Tharns are like mouth pudding flavor free.

The loss of the hours wasn’t so much a hurt – watching my childhood friends of imagining being ass-raped (see “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”) was a pain that I will remember as long as I can – you see, even with the smoking of many loads of the wonderful Super O.G. Kush I could not find the liking… only the hating.

And the stomach-crawling disappoint.

So I have no more to say.

One thumb droops in mourning – the death of my childhood fantasies and hopes are now the truth of the screen.

The other thumb is to be right in the Mr. Disney butt – so now Mr. Disney, you know how “John Carter” feels.

I am sad.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol” – cannot next year (if there is one to be) have just one woman (who doesn’t make the eyes pain) over the age of 18?  The “Season of Fugly” will no longer be watched.  I watch “The Voice” now, waiting for Christina Aguilara’s imminent boob explosion.  I quiver with the waiting.