Jay Scherick – Behind the Proscenium

The Smurfs

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

What the Smurf?!?

Another Smurfing CGI poopfest of the summer of pooping Smurfed-up films?

The movie studios have Smurfed us again – right up the Smurfhole.

If animated characters take on real actors, then alarm bells should ring. Excluding again the extraordinary movie gem Beowulf (genius!), it is also already hard at all to call a movie of this kind that can convince.

Then, when a studio then tries the popular cartoon series The Smurfs and in this, is messed up, then red alert should be achieved!

Success!

Anyone who is curious nonetheless: Yes, The Smurfs is really a very weak movie that nobody has to look at – but if you do, blame only yourself (or your Smurfingly annoying mate who said it would be good – dump her now!).

Smurfs live concealed in a village, hidden from the outside world. And it also has a good reason: Among others, it has the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) who dicks with Smurfs (not literally – it’s kids movie!). But eventually he succeeds and his cat, Azrael (who does not dick), still make the village identified and found.

During their flight, a little Smurf group, including Papa Smurf and Smurfette (whore), in a magic vortex that brings them into an alien world: New York City – in and of our time.

Then, even Smurfs can’t get a ticket to Book of Mormon (sad Smurfs). And since Gargamel was also to New York, they seek refuge with Grace (Jayma Mays – boring in Glee. Have sex with Mr. Schuester already!) and Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris – ladykiller!), who are trying to help the Smurfs on their way back.

The concept is simple: Take a well-known franchise (in this case, The Smurfs), invent a hair-raising story line and try with as simplistic gags at least a little pep in the boring construct bring.

Or not.

The Smurfs makes it quite simple and shipped the blue little people with the help of a rather cheap gimmick in our world to be found (this is confusing).

As a consequence of a classic culture clash show is taken off, but unfortunately it lacks the rear to the front of even a semi-good idea.

The highlight is when there already is a hopelessly misplaced Gargamel heedless of a braking car.

Hurp durp.

Yes, The Smurfs actually tried it with only the very stale gags that were boring 25 years ago (or more – think vaudeville… IF YOU DARE!) and have since been contradicted by constantly chewed just such ideas and soulless, embarrassing movies.

For any half-experienced viewers of the film ensures only for a large dollop of boredom and who is looking for something for children, should be no problems have a better alternative to find the pool of wonderful animated films.

Even Neil Patrick Harris fans can save the visit as the How I Met Your Mother star burned here is just merciless.

Something like The Smurfs comes out just when they (money grubbing studio tycoons like Khan Manka, Jr.) tries again every last cent out of an old franchise to push.

The story is bleh, the gags are all lukewarm damp squishy sandwich and otherwise it is primarily a high dumbness.

View may well be the only very young audience, but otherwise everyone else of the moviegoers already implemented have seen better.

If I had paid any Smurfing money to see this Smurf-fest… well, I would have yelled “Smurf off and die!” Smurfing Smurf Smurfers. So, one thumb – Smurfing… downward.

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. This learned from The Glee Project – Ryan Murphy is a tool.

Zookeeper

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

When one in thinking comedy, especially in these comedies, the tastes are as varied as in almost any other genre.

So there are the sophisticated, witty humor, the dark British humor, but also the “hurr durr” and/or “herp derp” or naive childlike humor.

Somehow, yes, any of these styles can be quite irritable (like a bowel) and – according to doses used – to provide lots of fun in the cinema, yet not out of the cinema.

Why leave but Kevin James and Adam Sandler for years on the constant same thing, now worn-kind, one must ask already.

While with “Grown Ups” could see at least a slight upward trend, fueled by the hope was that even Adam Sandler grows up again, unfortunately, we are now witnessing one of his (James, not Sandler) weakest comedies.

Paul Blart is now his Citizen Kane?

In this universe it is the curse.

We get Zookeeper.

We are Job.

Griffin Keyes is a zookeeper and the animals extremely popular, because it deals with them very closely and with devotion (“it” being “he” – you get it! Me too!).

But his job is in his love life very much in the way (damn!), because his dream woman wants to marry him not because he “is just a zookeeper” but because he is just a zookeeper.

Fortunately, the animals can understand people, not only us, but also speak with us – if they want, because a code that forbids them actually.

Animals are shifty and have rules. But to Griffin’s love life to fix it, decide the zoo, to obtain information on the rules of time and explain to the people even as it ensnares the beloved correctly.

What?

Unfortunately, the posturing of a bear is just as beneficial as the territorial markings of a wolf – at least with a human woman. This is true – I’ve seen it on the internet.

Even in the rough story one suspects that the level of humor is rather childish. How bad it really is but then, only in the course of the film clear, because at least when Kevin James pisses middle of the restaurant to a potted palm, because it was recommended by an animal, is such a limit is exceeded.

What?

Very mediocre (this is a short sentence). Wants above all, because there are quite a few such scenes in which we, as viewers, leave the theater either fled or sink in the chair – but not both for that is impossible.

Only the trip with the only really creative and well-developed character – the gorilla (better than Ed, the farting and baseball playing chimp – thanks for this Matt LeBlanc!) – knows how to convince.

This flashes on the existing definitive sense of timing and situation comedy, and fortunately remains sustainable even in the head (in my head or yours? Let me know in the comments!). Is a pity that one is linked somehow many, though not more, strands of plot processed.

Seriously.

Overall, Zookeeper, unfortunately, a disappointment (shocker! Although I expected Sasha Grey level suckage (naughty!) – go “Entourage”!).

There is much reason to be ashamed of strange and often situations that are very drawn to construct and bring on the hair (man I’m drunk). It simply lacks the spark of feeling for a humorous line.

Fans of the usual rather childish level Sandler / James movies will certainly enjoy themselves while here, but everyone else be warned: There is one funny – really only the gorilla excursion, which is hinted at in the trailer already. Everything else is unfortunately not worth the cinema ticket.

One thumb, wagging downward – like photo before in Cialis ad.

Bummer.

“I’m mad…And that’s a fact
I found out…Animals don’t help
Animal think…They’re pretty smart
Shit on the ground…See in the dark.”

“Animals” by The Talking Heads

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Summer television is the suck.

Tag: Jay Scherick

The Smurfs [REVIEW]

Zookeeper [REVIEW]