Joel Negron – Behind the Proscenium

21 Jump Street

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First, a truth.

In a second week – I was having the déjà vu, right in my face.

Something else from my happy child times is under attack.

From Hollywood.

The greatest showing in television that wasn’t “Baywatch” (which is the best if only for the great mammary swings in a slower motion – hot stuff!).

And even I, when high or even not, was not much for the original of “21 Jump Street.” Richard Grieco freaked me out – his skin was unnatural and unholy.

But still – why do the Hollywood persons have to bend over everything that was from our pasts and violate the brown eye?

Sometimes the past memory needs its hole revisited.

This past memory is this movie.

If you were to judge the success of a movie-play simply by how much or how little you made me laugh, “21 Jump Street“ would be one of the best I’ve seen in a while.

The effectiveness of the film is amazing, especially based on the same television series of the 80’s whose greatest legacy to cinema it was Johnny Depp (what in bloody hell have you done to Barnabas Collins, Johnny? – I will hurt you when I see you next).

The directors of “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, transfer the same energy and humor that characterized that great this new animated comedy, thankfully, is rated “R”, for full of delicious dirtiness.

The dick jokes were particularly welcome from the mouths of the leads.

Among the best sequences are a feature film that revolves around a trip of hallucinogen (I sure love drugs!) and one in which our “heroes” are involved in a chase on the highway.

Absurd first in nature and the second with his parody of the clichés of the genre of action, show that neither the directors nor the screenwriter Michael Bacall are taken very seriously, which invites the audience to laugh at and with the film.

And then the invitation is make to fire up the bong.

Then the movie is near perfect and good – simultaneously.

Thank you, weed.

Plot? Come on, a plot is needed?!?

O.K. it exists.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star as Schmidt and Jenko, two incompetent cops are reassigned to an old unit not activated from the 80’s that infiltrates as students in a college to stop the transfer of a deadly narcotic.

Ice Cube scowls as the new superior, Captain Dickson, and then he scowls again. And scowls one more time.

I wanted to smoke him out and bring on the smiling. Next time, Mr. Cube.

Things happen. Roles from High School (heh, high school) are reversed.

A big dick in olden days is no longer respected. Fat kids who were openly slapped for smelling like bacon are now the cool.

Up is down.

Sideways is straight.

And comedy is had by all.

Note to self – when stoned at funny movie DO NOT hold ice cream bon bons in the lap – without knowledge you can freeze your nuttles.

Pain!

So, two thumbs higher than I was when seeing this screening!

Funny, clever and no Richard Grieco leather face to give me nightmares.

Better than the stupid show it was “based” on (really only the title is shared correctly).

And my testicles have thawed sufficiently so that the panic is gone from my voice.

Success!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo on Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

Next week – “The Hunger Games.” My Katniss inspired wood is filling with sap.

P.S. To the “sports expert” who helped me with my first NCAA March Insanity pool… you are an asshole. Thank you for saying “Kimmo, take Montana all the way.” No money for me now. I hope your eyeballs fall out and are eaten by your cat. This I mean! Dick.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First, a discredit: I love Megan Fox (Jennifer’s Body – yowza! I was almost made to forgot Ginnifer Goodwin!).

And Shia LeBoeuf now credit can be given for the giving of the meat(!) while she was with her 90210 husband?

Not cool, Shia… not cool.

Now to the reviewing.

Michael Bay has been a director always who has the lowest standard given free rein in his films.

Feminine curves (these are good), the delight in the perfectly shaped poses from the most daring of view (that’s right), the male senses, polished stainless bodies that cast a sea of lens flare into the cameras (look out JJ Abrams!) and real heroes in uniform who carry the backlight in distinctive silhouettes.

The real guy who sleeps in each one of us suggests that it displays them on the hairy chest and shouts out a fervent Tarzan screaming in the world (much like me).

But while the introverted and sensitive wearer scrapes with his pencil on his forehead and dismisses a disillusioned sigh (my brother, Jarri, he is a real forehead pencil scraper).

Here is Michael Bay talking: “A real guy needs a movie with testosterone in the bloodstream, and an eye for the essentials: cars, butts, aliens (not in that order)!”

Transformers the 3rd: Dark of the Moon (Lazer Floyd!) is the film revelation and epileptic overkill, which the audience and the cinema owners were hoping for so long. The stylized action vindicated the over-priced 3D effect, and vice versa. The humor may now again be laughed heartily without interfering on the borderline banality of the second part.

Transformers the 3rd takes a whopping 157 minutes and operates on a broad level. Megan Fox’s ass and marble belly while leaving a gaping hole (don’t even think it, Shia), but Rosie Huntington-Whiteley gazelle legs and an absence of self-esteem affects what sexy outfits, makes the loss more than up for it (almost, but I admit that she is lengthy!)

Michael Bay will never grow up and his camera never not move and that’s why we love him?

What?

Since it not hurt that the series itself basically just over and over and fail to real surprises. The sensitive and thoughtful boy agrees, in some respects (to be sure, I’ll ask brother Jarri later).

The 3D effect is due to the native style handsomely turned out – but just as volatile as the paint on the Autobots. Also, the content of amateurism from Transformers 2 will be largely spared.

If you still remember the slogan from the second film recalls says that “Only a Prime can kill a Prime” – which is to capture the action of the third part in full: “Only a Prime can resurrect a Prime.”

Knowing about these facts once swallowed, the rest of the film stripped of leaves before the mind’s eye and the viewer is unaffected from surprises. But the Transformers movies were anyway never looked for their offense, at least, is an old saying – so old as to be not understandable.

Nevertheless, a fairly logical and understandable sequence of actions will be gratefully accepted. The more effortless a film executes its structural plot points, the more positive the effect on the film – what Bay’s third try masters solid.

But the fact remains that the film series has reached a dead end. The same hero stereotype, the same car brands, the same threats, same jokes.

With the new Shia LaBeouf (asshole!) again on the site itself needs love are back at 0. It was a physical impossibility, that could turn Transformers the 3rd worse than its immediate predecessor – and this is proven correct.

But as B.B. King sang, “the thrill is gone”, Michael Bay‘s robot toys have lost their appeal, what remains is a pile of crap metal that sparkles in sunlight and impressed by its size – but no more.

Size doesn’t matter. Which is what Megan probably said to the Shia meat (Carey Mulligan, too). We can dream.

Kimmo Mustonene (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Once again, The Glee Project! I’m rooting for the munchkin and the bitch! You?

Tag: Joel Negron

21 Jump Street [REVIEW]

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon