Immortals [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, Immortals, Tarsem Singh, Charley Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides, Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto, Luke Evans, John Hurt, Joseph MOrgan, Anne Day-Jones, Greg Bryk, Alan Van Sprang, Peter Stebbings, Daniel Sharman, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Steve Byers, Stephen McHattie, Matthew G. Taylor, Romano Orzari, Corey Sevier, Conrad Pla, Neil Napier, Tyrone Beneskin, Abdul Ayoola, Dylan Smith, Robert Naylor, Mercedes Leggett, Kaniehtiio Horn, Ayisha Issa, Danny Blanco Hall, Robert Maillet, Alain Chanoine, Edward Yankie, Gage Munroe, Aron Tomori, Marcella Bezina, Roc La Fortune, Jade Larocque, Charlie Duret, Alisha Nagarsheth, Makayla Jade McManus-Legett, Madison McAleer, Zelia Mouana-Bankouezi, Andre Kasper Kolstad, Tyler Hynes, Carlo Mestroni, Chantal Simard, Brent Skagford, Jason Cavalier, Kevin Kelsall, Patrick Sabongui, Samuel Platel, Lise Sita, Francise LaFreniere, Shyrelle Yates, John Churchill, Austin Beauchamp, Jimmy Duperval, Randy Herman, Emilie Paquet, Robbie Brenner, Mark Canton, Jason Felts, Craig J. Flores, Ogden Gavanski, Tony Grazia, Ken Halsband, Ryan Kavanaugh, Jamie Marshall, Gianni Nunnari, Rene Rigal, Nico Soultanakis, Tucker Tooley, Tommy Turtle, Jeff Waxman, Trevor Morris, Brendan Galvin, Wyatt Jones, Stuart Lew, Andrew Kenyon, Tom Foden, Jille Azis, Eiko Ishioka, Ken Diaz, Daniel Auclair, Ken Halsband, Christopher Kulikowski, Dana Reaves Bolla, Michael R. Sloan, Alexandre Bernard, Angele Gagnon, Chanel Lavoie, Jamie Marshall, Julien Pratte, Evelyne Renaud, Michael Viglietta, Wade Barnett, Nicolas Becker, Ric Schnupp, Alain Berard, Artie Malesci, Garrett Warren, Max White, Geoffroy Beauchernin, Tom Gibbons, Markus Czyzewski, Danny Elhaj, Ian Broucek, Amber Asaro, Brent Beath, Hank Bedford, Maggy Belzile, Kim Berner, Taylor Black, Christina Buchli, Gerrard Coffey, Tana David, Nicolas Fafard-Trudel, Andree-Anne Faucher, Cristina Fuller, Sonia Garcha, Etienne Geoffrion, Brandon Gold, Silvy Kim, Michael Lippman, Josianne Mailloux, Marr Morgan, Caroline Morissette, Jean-Charles Myrand, Eva Quiroz, Marlaine Reiner, Ryan Ross, Marc Salouze, Esteban Sanchez, Mona Sishodia, Justine Winkler, Evagelia Zouliatis

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, Immortals, Tarsem Singh, Charley Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides, Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto, Luke Evans, John Hurt, Joseph MOrgan, Anne Day-Jones, Greg Bryk, Alan Van Sprang, Peter Stebbings, Daniel Sharman, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Steve Byers, Stephen McHattie, Matthew G. Taylor, Romano Orzari, Corey Sevier, Conrad Pla, Neil Napier, Tyrone Beneskin, Abdul Ayoola, Dylan Smith, Robert Naylor, Mercedes Leggett, Kaniehtiio Horn, Ayisha Issa, Danny Blanco Hall, Robert Maillet, Alain Chanoine, Edward Yankie, Gage Munroe, Aron Tomori, Marcella Bezina, Roc La Fortune, Jade Larocque, Charlie Duret, Alisha Nagarsheth, Makayla Jade McManus-Legett, Madison McAleer, Zelia Mouana-Bankouezi, Andre Kasper Kolstad, Tyler Hynes, Carlo Mestroni, Chantal Simard, Brent Skagford, Jason Cavalier, Kevin Kelsall, Patrick Sabongui, Samuel Platel, Lise Sita, Francise LaFreniere, Shyrelle Yates, John Churchill, Austin Beauchamp, Jimmy Duperval, Randy Herman, Emilie Paquet, Robbie Brenner, Mark Canton, Jason Felts, Craig J. Flores, Ogden Gavanski, Tony Grazia, Ken Halsband, Ryan Kavanaugh, Jamie Marshall, Gianni Nunnari, Rene Rigal, Nico Soultanakis, Tucker Tooley, Tommy Turtle, Jeff Waxman, Trevor Morris, Brendan Galvin, Wyatt Jones, Stuart Lew, Andrew Kenyon, Tom Foden, Jille Azis, Eiko Ishioka, Ken Diaz, Daniel Auclair, Ken Halsband, Christopher Kulikowski, Dana Reaves Bolla, Michael R. Sloan, Alexandre Bernard, Angele Gagnon, Chanel Lavoie, Jamie Marshall, Julien Pratte, Evelyne Renaud, Michael Viglietta, Wade Barnett, Nicolas Becker, Ric Schnupp, Alain Berard, Artie Malesci, Garrett Warren, Max White, Geoffroy Beauchernin, Tom Gibbons, Markus Czyzewski, Danny Elhaj, Ian Broucek, Amber Asaro, Brent Beath, Hank Bedford, Maggy Belzile, Kim Berner, Taylor Black, Christina Buchli, Gerrard Coffey, Tana David, Nicolas Fafard-Trudel, Andree-Anne Faucher, Cristina Fuller, Sonia Garcha, Etienne Geoffrion, Brandon Gold, Silvy Kim, Michael Lippman, Josianne Mailloux, Marr Morgan, Caroline Morissette, Jean-Charles Myrand, Eva Quiroz, Marlaine Reiner, Ryan Ross, Marc Salouze, Esteban Sanchez, Mona Sishodia, Justine Winkler, Evagelia Zouliatis“The Immortals”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“The Immortals” is crap.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

That is my review.

But the editor says I must write more words than “crap.”

O.K. – it is also turd sandwich in… 3D!

Story?

We have in a long time ago, the Greek gods defeated the Titans.  They locked the creatures in a prison deep in a mountain.

In a later era wants King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke – creepy!) encounter the gods from their thrones – and to release the Titans.

Necessary to the Epirus-bow (huh?) he wants to help with the visions of the Oracle (see Freida Pinto.  I saw her.  A tent was pitched.).

On his expedition he also lays the village of slave Theseus (Henry Cavill) to rubble, killing his mother.  We will find you do NOT kill the slave baby momma.

Obsessed with revenge wants, Theseus’s death to place on Hyperion.  Help comes not only from the Oracle and some warriors (including Stephen Dorff – really), but by god Zeus (Luke Evans), who has for years stood by him in the guise of an old man (John Hurt).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, Immortals, Tarsem Singh, Charley Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides, Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto, Luke Evans, John Hurt, Joseph MOrgan, Anne Day-Jones, Greg Bryk, Alan Van Sprang, Peter Stebbings, Daniel Sharman, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Steve Byers, Stephen McHattie, Matthew G. Taylor, Romano Orzari, Corey Sevier, Conrad Pla, Neil Napier, Tyrone Beneskin, Abdul Ayoola, Dylan Smith, Robert Naylor, Mercedes Leggett, Kaniehtiio Horn, Ayisha Issa, Danny Blanco Hall, Robert Maillet, Alain Chanoine, Edward Yankie, Gage Munroe, Aron Tomori, Marcella Bezina, Roc La Fortune, Jade Larocque, Charlie Duret, Alisha Nagarsheth, Makayla Jade McManus-Legett, Madison McAleer, Zelia Mouana-Bankouezi, Andre Kasper Kolstad, Tyler Hynes, Carlo Mestroni, Chantal Simard, Brent Skagford, Jason Cavalier, Kevin Kelsall, Patrick Sabongui, Samuel Platel, Lise Sita, Francise LaFreniere, Shyrelle Yates, John Churchill, Austin Beauchamp, Jimmy Duperval, Randy Herman, Emilie Paquet, Robbie Brenner, Mark Canton, Jason Felts, Craig J. Flores, Ogden Gavanski, Tony Grazia, Ken Halsband, Ryan Kavanaugh, Jamie Marshall, Gianni Nunnari, Rene Rigal, Nico Soultanakis, Tucker Tooley, Tommy Turtle, Jeff Waxman, Trevor Morris, Brendan Galvin, Wyatt Jones, Stuart Lew, Andrew Kenyon, Tom Foden, Jille Azis, Eiko Ishioka, Ken Diaz, Daniel Auclair, Ken Halsband, Christopher Kulikowski, Dana Reaves Bolla, Michael R. Sloan, Alexandre Bernard, Angele Gagnon, Chanel Lavoie, Jamie Marshall, Julien Pratte, Evelyne Renaud, Michael Viglietta, Wade Barnett, Nicolas Becker, Ric Schnupp, Alain Berard, Artie Malesci, Garrett Warren, Max White, Geoffroy Beauchernin, Tom Gibbons, Markus Czyzewski, Danny Elhaj, Ian Broucek, Amber Asaro, Brent Beath, Hank Bedford, Maggy Belzile, Kim Berner, Taylor Black, Christina Buchli, Gerrard Coffey, Tana David, Nicolas Fafard-Trudel, Andree-Anne Faucher, Cristina Fuller, Sonia Garcha, Etienne Geoffrion, Brandon Gold, Silvy Kim, Michael Lippman, Josianne Mailloux, Marr Morgan, Caroline Morissette, Jean-Charles Myrand, Eva Quiroz, Marlaine Reiner, Ryan Ross, Marc Salouze, Esteban Sanchez, Mona Sishodia, Justine Winkler, Evagelia ZouliatisTotally makes sense.

Now, however, Zeus has forbidden the other gods on Olympus to interfere in the war of the people.  They should do it alone, led by Theseus.  This is misleading in intent.

Never effin’ happened!

Why not now make the Nativity movie with the Amish and showgirls and talking goats?  I would see that movie.

Instead of Amish, showgirls, and the goats we get “The Immortals”.

There is so much to love about the movie – the costumes by Eiko Ishioka, the excessive violence, the über-hot Freida Pinto.

And that is all.  So not so much.

But it all comes together never close to completely correct, it remains as a spectator weird creep whereby lengths and accepts it all with a shrug.

To get to the point: If you liked the slightly less shit-storm (equally stylized) “300”, this was cooked for you. 

You are so bold as to be cool.  In your tiny mind.

It is self-explanatory, that this world never looks realistic.

It begins with these goddamn cliffs.

Almost every village, every temple seems built on a cliff.  This looks even nice, but again and again – is monotone.

There is also the practical question: Is it really safe to go to the temple from the house, on a footpath, which is three feet wide, has no railings and where, at the slightest misstep, hundreds of yards into the ocean you splat?!?

Just think of children playing.  Drunks.  Old people.  Drunk old children.  Epileptics.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, Immortals, Tarsem Singh, Charley Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides, Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto, Luke Evans, John Hurt, Joseph MOrgan, Anne Day-Jones, Greg Bryk, Alan Van Sprang, Peter Stebbings, Daniel Sharman, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Steve Byers, Stephen McHattie, Matthew G. Taylor, Romano Orzari, Corey Sevier, Conrad Pla, Neil Napier, Tyrone Beneskin, Abdul Ayoola, Dylan Smith, Robert Naylor, Mercedes Leggett, Kaniehtiio Horn, Ayisha Issa, Danny Blanco Hall, Robert Maillet, Alain Chanoine, Edward Yankie, Gage Munroe, Aron Tomori, Marcella Bezina, Roc La Fortune, Jade Larocque, Charlie Duret, Alisha Nagarsheth, Makayla Jade McManus-Legett, Madison McAleer, Zelia Mouana-Bankouezi, Andre Kasper Kolstad, Tyler Hynes, Carlo Mestroni, Chantal Simard, Brent Skagford, Jason Cavalier, Kevin Kelsall, Patrick Sabongui, Samuel Platel, Lise Sita, Francise LaFreniere, Shyrelle Yates, John Churchill, Austin Beauchamp, Jimmy Duperval, Randy Herman, Emilie Paquet, Robbie Brenner, Mark Canton, Jason Felts, Craig J. Flores, Ogden Gavanski, Tony Grazia, Ken Halsband, Ryan Kavanaugh, Jamie Marshall, Gianni Nunnari, Rene Rigal, Nico Soultanakis, Tucker Tooley, Tommy Turtle, Jeff Waxman, Trevor Morris, Brendan Galvin, Wyatt Jones, Stuart Lew, Andrew Kenyon, Tom Foden, Jille Azis, Eiko Ishioka, Ken Diaz, Daniel Auclair, Ken Halsband, Christopher Kulikowski, Dana Reaves Bolla, Michael R. Sloan, Alexandre Bernard, Angele Gagnon, Chanel Lavoie, Jamie Marshall, Julien Pratte, Evelyne Renaud, Michael Viglietta, Wade Barnett, Nicolas Becker, Ric Schnupp, Alain Berard, Artie Malesci, Garrett Warren, Max White, Geoffroy Beauchernin, Tom Gibbons, Markus Czyzewski, Danny Elhaj, Ian Broucek, Amber Asaro, Brent Beath, Hank Bedford, Maggy Belzile, Kim Berner, Taylor Black, Christina Buchli, Gerrard Coffey, Tana David, Nicolas Fafard-Trudel, Andree-Anne Faucher, Cristina Fuller, Sonia Garcha, Etienne Geoffrion, Brandon Gold, Silvy Kim, Michael Lippman, Josianne Mailloux, Marr Morgan, Caroline Morissette, Jean-Charles Myrand, Eva Quiroz, Marlaine Reiner, Ryan Ross, Marc Salouze, Esteban Sanchez, Mona Sishodia, Justine Winkler, Evagelia ZouliatisThat question should be immediately banned from the head – there are no epileptics in “The Immortals”.  Like so many others movies.

The shit continues – about how useful it is for the army of evil, to bear such huge helmets, they can’t wipe the ass-crack, let alone fight (and wiping is not as hard as fighting – unless there is much cheese ingestion).

Or why the Greeks the Oracle stupidly deflower (although deflowering Freida Pinto is never stupid, as long as we see her naked).

These and many other discrepancies plaguing the film.

They didn’t even release the Kraken (I yell this during bowel movements)!

I could write more of a response, but I’m too with depression.

Would it, in a better universe, then had “The Immortals”, the makings of a truly great film?

Only good (other than previously talked Freida Pinto – Ass of a Goddess!  This would be better movie, too) Mickey Rourke enjoys evil-being, even if he was mumbling and muttering and one does hardly understands.

But ultimately crap – this one goes in the mouth, is chewed, relies on the 3D glasses, swallowed, admired the vision of director, digested, you buy ticket, and the film is shat onto the screen.

Did I mention it was crap?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Ryan Murphy, I don’t need you!  Lindsay Pearce is Snow White in “A Snow White Christmas” at the El Portal in North Hollywood,CA.  Kyrle, get me a ticket!  I will follow her home (NOT!  Being serious!  I want no crimes committed.).  I will just beg for her love at the stage door.  Keep open for updates!

P.P.S.  Joe Paterno, if you hear little children are being diddled you go to the police when the diddling is told.  Good job, JoePa!  Fucking asshole.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, J.K. Rowling, David Yates, Steve Kloves, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Evanna Lynch, Domhnall Gleeson, Clemence Poesy, Warwick Davis, John Hurt, Helena Bonham Carter, Graham Duff, Anthony Allgood, Rusty Goffe, Jon Key, Kelly Macdonald, Jason Isaacs, Helen McCrory, Tom Felton, Ian Peck, Benjamin Northover, Ciaran Hinds, Hebe Beardsall, Matthew Lewis, Devon Murray, Jessie Cave, Afshan Azad, Isabella Laughland, Anna Shaffer, Georgina Leonidas, Freddie Stroma, Alfie Enoch, Katie Leung, William Melling, Sian Grace Phillips, Bonnie Wright, Ralph Ineson, Suzanne Toase, Maggie Smith, Jim Broadbent, Scarlett Byrne, Josh Herdman, Louis Cordice, Amber Evans, Ruby Evans, Miriam Margolyes, Gemma Jones, George Harris, David Thewlis, Julie Walters, Mark Williams, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Chris Rankin, David Bradley, Guy Henry, Nick Moran, Natalia Tena, Philip Wright, Gary Sayer, Tony Adkins, Dave Legeno, Penelope McGhie, Emma Thompson, Ellie Darcey-Alden, Ariella Paradise, Benedict Clarke, Leslie Phillips, Robbie Jarvis, Rohan Gotobed, Geraldine Somerville, Adrian Rawlins, Toby Papworth, Robbie Coltrane, Gary Oldman, Peter G. Reed, Judith Sharp, Emil Hostina, Bob Yves Van Hellenberg Hubar, Granville Saxton, Tony Kirwood, Ashley McGuire, Arthur Bowen, Daphne de Deistegui, Will Dunn, Jade Gordon, Bertie Gilbert, Helena Barlow, Ryan Turner, Sean Biggerstaff, David Barron, Debbi Bossi, David Heyman, Tim Lewis, John Trehy, Lionel Wigram, Alexandre Desplat, Eduardo Serra, Mark Day, Fiona Weir, Stuart Craig, Andrew Ackland-Snow, Stephenie McMillan, Jany Temime, Bill Daly, Simon Emanuel, Tom Browne, Glenn Carroll, Jamie Christopher, Arabella Constance-Churcher, Stewart Hamilton, Chaz Johnson, Ashley Lamont, Ian Murray, Vikas Raiput, Jason White, Paul Lowe, Sam Creed, Bradley Farmer, Marc Mailley, David Holmes, David Armstrong, Kate Baird, Alex Fenn, Peter Clarke, Karen Fayerty, Natasha Hook, David Keadell, Nicoletta Mani, Anji Oliver, Ben Quirk, Oliver Wiseman, Richard Osborne, Jon Roper

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, J.K. Rowling, David Yates, Steve Kloves, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Evanna Lynch, Domhnall Gleeson, Clemence Poesy, Warwick Davis, John Hurt, Helena Bonham Carter, Graham Duff, Anthony Allgood, Rusty Goffe, Jon Key, Kelly Macdonald, Jason Isaacs, Helen McCrory, Tom Felton, Ian Peck, Benjamin Northover, Ciaran Hinds, Hebe Beardsall, Matthew Lewis, Devon Murray, Jessie Cave, Afshan Azad, Isabella Laughland, Anna Shaffer, Georgina Leonidas, Freddie Stroma, Alfie Enoch, Katie Leung, William Melling, Sian Grace Phillips, Bonnie Wright, Ralph Ineson, Suzanne Toase, Maggie Smith, Jim Broadbent, Scarlett Byrne, Josh Herdman, Louis Cordice, Amber Evans, Ruby Evans, Miriam Margolyes, Gemma Jones, George Harris, David Thewlis, Julie Walters, Mark Williams, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Chris Rankin, David Bradley, Guy Henry, Nick Moran, Natalia Tena, Philip Wright, Gary Sayer, Tony Adkins, Dave Legeno, Penelope McGhie, Emma Thompson, Ellie Darcey-Alden, Ariella Paradise, Benedict Clarke, Leslie Phillips, Robbie Jarvis, Rohan Gotobed, Geraldine Somerville, Adrian Rawlins, Toby Papworth, Robbie Coltrane, Gary Oldman, Peter G. Reed, Judith Sharp, Emil Hostina, Bob Yves Van Hellenberg Hubar, Granville Saxton, Tony Kirwood, Ashley McGuire, Arthur Bowen, Daphne de Deistegui, Will Dunn, Jade Gordon, Bertie Gilbert, Helena Barlow, Ryan Turner, Sean Biggerstaff, David Barron, Debbi Bossi, David Heyman, Tim Lewis, John Trehy, Lionel Wigram, Alexandre Desplat, Eduardo Serra, Mark Day, Fiona Weir, Stuart Craig, Andrew Ackland-Snow, Stephenie McMillan, Jany Temime, Bill Daly, Simon Emanuel, Tom Browne, Glenn Carroll, Jamie Christopher, Arabella Constance-Churcher, Stewart Hamilton, Chaz Johnson, Ashley Lamont, Ian Murray, Vikas Raiput, Jason White, Paul Lowe, Sam Creed, Bradley Farmer, Marc Mailley, David Holmes, David Armstrong, Kate Baird, Alex Fenn, Peter Clarke, Karen Fayerty, Natasha Hook, David Keadell, Nicoletta Mani, Anji Oliver, Ben Quirk, Oliver Wiseman, Richard Osborne, Jon RoperHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

With “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2”, Harry Potter moves into the final battle.

Really the very last.

Sad people everywhere.

For Harry Potter fans, the “Harry Potter” movies are as a kind of Horcruxes – those in which the arch-enemy Voldemort small pieces swapped of his soul and has spread to delay his death (if you say “what?” read the dang books already).

In particular, since the last book appeared in 2007, the disciples of each film have a small piece of the Potter fortune invested, and a director would have to make very many mistakes to screw up the brains of the masses into a revolt which would turn into a hatred of young Harry and his movie.  It is a bulletproof film yet still delivers like a train to the heart.

Especially Hermione.  Cannot forget her (yowza!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, J.K. Rowling, David Yates, Steve Kloves, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Evanna Lynch, Domhnall Gleeson, Clemence Poesy, Warwick Davis, John Hurt, Helena Bonham Carter, Graham Duff, Anthony Allgood, Rusty Goffe, Jon Key, Kelly Macdonald, Jason Isaacs, Helen McCrory, Tom Felton, Ian Peck, Benjamin Northover, Ciaran Hinds, Hebe Beardsall, Matthew Lewis, Devon Murray, Jessie Cave, Afshan Azad, Isabella Laughland, Anna Shaffer, Georgina Leonidas, Freddie Stroma, Alfie Enoch, Katie Leung, William Melling, Sian Grace Phillips, Bonnie Wright, Ralph Ineson, Suzanne Toase, Maggie Smith, Jim Broadbent, Scarlett Byrne, Josh Herdman, Louis Cordice, Amber Evans, Ruby Evans, Miriam Margolyes, Gemma Jones, George Harris, David Thewlis, Julie Walters, Mark Williams, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Chris Rankin, David Bradley, Guy Henry, Nick Moran, Natalia Tena, Philip Wright, Gary Sayer, Tony Adkins, Dave Legeno, Penelope McGhie, Emma Thompson, Ellie Darcey-Alden, Ariella Paradise, Benedict Clarke, Leslie Phillips, Robbie Jarvis, Rohan Gotobed, Geraldine Somerville, Adrian Rawlins, Toby Papworth, Robbie Coltrane, Gary Oldman, Peter G. Reed, Judith Sharp, Emil Hostina, Bob Yves Van Hellenberg Hubar, Granville Saxton, Tony Kirwood, Ashley McGuire, Arthur Bowen, Daphne de Deistegui, Will Dunn, Jade Gordon, Bertie Gilbert, Helena Barlow, Ryan Turner, Sean Biggerstaff, David Barron, Debbi Bossi, David Heyman, Tim Lewis, John Trehy, Lionel Wigram, Alexandre Desplat, Eduardo Serra, Mark Day, Fiona Weir, Stuart Craig, Andrew Ackland-Snow, Stephenie McMillan, Jany Temime, Bill Daly, Simon Emanuel, Tom Browne, Glenn Carroll, Jamie Christopher, Arabella Constance-Churcher, Stewart Hamilton, Chaz Johnson, Ashley Lamont, Ian Murray, Vikas Raiput, Jason White, Paul Lowe, Sam Creed, Bradley Farmer, Marc Mailley, David Holmes, David Armstrong, Kate Baird, Alex Fenn, Peter Clarke, Karen Fayerty, Natasha Hook, David Keadell, Nicoletta Mani, Anji Oliver, Ben Quirk, Oliver Wiseman, Richard Osborne, Jon RoperDavid Yates, who is responsible for all films since the fifth volume, has done nothing wrong!  And that is so right!

The second part of “Deathly Hallows” is a seamless continuation of the first one with Harry, Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson) – with the house-elf Dobby the helpful on the beach – and seems at this beach now, very briefly, the sun (this is complicated business).

Then it is dark again, and Harry is alone again.  Naturally.

Again, what could be said from the first part of “Deathly Hallows”: Yates has not illustrated the book, but a mood – a mood of farewell and goodbye.

This is not the romantic, but barren volcanic landscapes, almost surreal in its vastness and desolation, as though Harry Potter’s soul Salvador Dalí carted out and cast in stone.

One would hardly have thought it possible, but “Deathly Hallows 2” is even darker – a more solitary Harry.

The first part staged the “us-versus-the-rest-of-world” friendly celebration of Harry, Ron and Hermione; the second now the “I-need-act-alone” by Potter.

And alone acting is cool.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, J.K. Rowling, David Yates, Steve Kloves, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Evanna Lynch, Domhnall Gleeson, Clemence Poesy, Warwick Davis, John Hurt, Helena Bonham Carter, Graham Duff, Anthony Allgood, Rusty Goffe, Jon Key, Kelly Macdonald, Jason Isaacs, Helen McCrory, Tom Felton, Ian Peck, Benjamin Northover, Ciaran Hinds, Hebe Beardsall, Matthew Lewis, Devon Murray, Jessie Cave, Afshan Azad, Isabella Laughland, Anna Shaffer, Georgina Leonidas, Freddie Stroma, Alfie Enoch, Katie Leung, William Melling, Sian Grace Phillips, Bonnie Wright, Ralph Ineson, Suzanne Toase, Maggie Smith, Jim Broadbent, Scarlett Byrne, Josh Herdman, Louis Cordice, Amber Evans, Ruby Evans, Miriam Margolyes, Gemma Jones, George Harris, David Thewlis, Julie Walters, Mark Williams, James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, Chris Rankin, David Bradley, Guy Henry, Nick Moran, Natalia Tena, Philip Wright, Gary Sayer, Tony Adkins, Dave Legeno, Penelope McGhie, Emma Thompson, Ellie Darcey-Alden, Ariella Paradise, Benedict Clarke, Leslie Phillips, Robbie Jarvis, Rohan Gotobed, Geraldine Somerville, Adrian Rawlins, Toby Papworth, Robbie Coltrane, Gary Oldman, Peter G. Reed, Judith Sharp, Emil Hostina, Bob Yves Van Hellenberg Hubar, Granville Saxton, Tony Kirwood, Ashley McGuire, Arthur Bowen, Daphne de Deistegui, Will Dunn, Jade Gordon, Bertie Gilbert, Helena Barlow, Ryan Turner, Sean Biggerstaff, David Barron, Debbi Bossi, David Heyman, Tim Lewis, John Trehy, Lionel Wigram, Alexandre Desplat, Eduardo Serra, Mark Day, Fiona Weir, Stuart Craig, Andrew Ackland-Snow, Stephenie McMillan, Jany Temime, Bill Daly, Simon Emanuel, Tom Browne, Glenn Carroll, Jamie Christopher, Arabella Constance-Churcher, Stewart Hamilton, Chaz Johnson, Ashley Lamont, Ian Murray, Vikas Raiput, Jason White, Paul Lowe, Sam Creed, Bradley Farmer, Marc Mailley, David Holmes, David Armstrong, Kate Baird, Alex Fenn, Peter Clarke, Karen Fayerty, Natasha Hook, David Keadell, Nicoletta Mani, Anji Oliver, Ben Quirk, Oliver Wiseman, Richard Osborne, Jon RoperDaniel Radcliffe plays his last days surrounded by magnificent scenery as a harried warrior who out of sheer guilt (there had been enough to die for Harry Potter – but who wouldn’t?) accept more aid and the fight against the Dark Lord finally wants to put behind him.

Since there is no heroic martyr, Harry, as a reluctant hero rushes into battle, as if he were going through the stations of a sadistic treasure hunt, to destroy Voldemort along with his Horcruxes and find the three “Deathly Hallows”.

These tasks must be ticked off as soon as possible so that Potter, finally (whew!), has his rest.

And if it is the eternal – no matter.

Which does not mean there is no action spectacle awaiting viewers: Some people speculated on the quiet first part that the director had abolished all the effects for the final.

Wrong, buster!

Yates is interested in still more for characters than for dramatic showdowns.  The villains implode rather incidentally – the grandeur of Hogwarts castle turns into a refugee camp.

Crazy.

What an ending!

SPOILER ALERT!

The much-criticized epilogue to make us go “19 years later” wasn’t as much suck as you would thought at first glance (again, you perplexed?  Read the dang book!).

Daniel Radcliffe and one that was made earlier with the help of ‘digital 19 years later’ and now looks like Marty McFly, but not so much older than 17.

No, we do not want to keep Harry Potter in memory.  No, we want a Harry Potter heart.

At least there will be no more “is your Potter Hairy?” jokes.  And God is thanked for that!

Two vigorously wagging thumbs.

This the end that really ends things.  Take that “Lost”.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

Melancholia [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna Lundin

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinIs Nazi lover Lars now feeling “Melancholia” (ha!)?

With wit, reviewed by guest critic Kimmo Mustonenen

Impacts Cannes:  The apocalyptic drama “Melancholia” are pushed into the background – of a provocateur Lars von Trier and his statement that he was a Nazi.

The man is 55, but his reputation as the eternal enfant terrible of cinema, he apparently wants to do justice to all eternity.  Not only in his radical films for which he is loved all over the world and feared, but also outside in a lot more confusing life (is his).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinAt the press conference in Cannes on Wednesday afternoon to his apocalyptic drama “Melancholia”, he was – unfortunately – in this respect too great shape.

He said not only to gentle horror of his leading lady Kirsten Dunst, she was suffering from depression, but claimed this week to shoot on the request of his actors a porno.  Yes!

What?

And when this was not enough, he outed himself as a Nazi even – after his family had German roots.  Hitler was indeed made “a few bad things”, but “I can imagine him in his bunker, in the end, sad.”  Lordy.

The manager of the Film Festival will take place this kind sardonic submissions not funny.  In the early evening, they said in such a short communiqué as sharp, they would never allow such submissions become the stage of Cannes.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinLars von Trier had to ask an explanation for his behavior, now apologized, saying he had “carried away by a provocation” to.

The most peculiar tendency to self-promotion was already in the press release for “Melancholia” are visible.  There, Lars von Trier makes ado self insult to the principle.

“Cream of the Cream,” his film has become, and only the poster, the film stills, the trailer:  The see everything “sort of shit” from.  Likely to say the enfant terrible with the fact that his new film is a great place.  In any case, somehow.

See?  I am not afraid to say it.

At least it is pleasing – or so it seemed up to the press conference – that Lars von Trier has made a deep depression, he set two years ago with “Antichrist” is a frightening monument, found apparently. 

“Melancholia” but told by an identically-giant planet speed towards the earth and swallows them, of nothing less than the end of the world – by swallowing (what?).

But instead of torturing his film characters, as then, his audience physically and mentally, Lars von Trier celebrates its fatalism and nihilism in a disaster film, as we have seen him in such peace before.  And for his concise history, he needs only one scene with highly transparent personnel.

What?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinJustine (Kirsten Dunst in fine forming, but no Ginnifer Goodwin) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgard) celebrate their wedding in a castle, one with an adjacent golf course on the lake, Justine’s sister, Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband John (Kiefer Sutherland).

With the hand-held camera filmed nervously close to the people (like “Cloverfield” – awesome!), the party, not least through active support of the embodied by Charlotte Rampling bride’s mother, similarly gruesome next, as was the family party in Thomas Vinterberg’s Dogma classic “Festen” (1998).

The couple separated on the wedding night, and the mentally unstable Justine remains with Claire’s family on the property alone.  Meanwhile, the planet is approaching inexorably Melancholia:  In five days he should, say the optimists among scientists, just pass by the earth.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Jill Kennedy, OnMedea, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Lars Von Trier, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kyrle Lindhoffer, Ben Silverman, movie review, Melancholia, Cannes press conference, Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Dogma, enfant terrible, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Keifer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier, Jesper Christensen, Deborah Fronko, Cameron Spurr, Bettina Brokemper, Remi Burah, Madeleine Edman, Thomas Eskilsson, Meta Louise Foldager, Peter Garde, Marianne Jul Hansen, Peter Aalbaek Jensen, Lars Jonsson, Katrine Sahlstrom, Marianne Slot, Louise Vesth, Manuel Alberto Claro, Morten Hojbjerg, Molly Marlene Stensgaard, Jette Lehmann, Jessica Balac, Mouns Overgaard, Maj-Britt Paulmann, Peter Hjorth, Pontus Klange, Anders Refn, James Velasquez, Rikard Andersson, Klas Ankelstam, Anna LundinOnly Justine (turning whiter)- or rather, feel – better.  And she suspects the reason the reverse story of creation.  The earth is as evil as the earthlings, and a life out in space after the big bang, there is not anyway.  But this is too much.

If I say again, why see it, no?

A new masterpiece by Lars von Trier?  In “Dancer in the Dark”, which he won the Golden Palm in 2000, reaches “Melancholia” not approach (“Melancholia” to “Dancer in the Dark” – I’m not clear).  But even if the movie almost seems to shrink in proportion as the light blue shimmering star grows into full-length canvas size, it remains a suggestive impressive experience.

Just like the astronomers, because if the human race should flourish once a similar fate, please call the killer planet differently.  Like Conan.  Or Jack Bauer

“Melancholy” does not kill, but is a worthy temperament that helps understand life.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Ginnifer Goodwin to make fun in new television serial this fall on television!  More news when known!