Judd Apatow – Behind the Proscenium

April 27, 2012

The Five-Year Engagement [REVIEW]

The Five-Year Engagement

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First, cliché joke (I will not be the single sayer of this) – “The Five-Year Engagement” is also what seems to be the running time of the film.

It goes on.

And on.

And then on some more.

The butt hurts.

The movie doesn’t care.

The movie laughs at my discomfort.

But I don’t laugh at the movie.

Which is a comedy. Or an Apatow-medy.

So there are jokes on the dick.

The word “fuck” is used more than in “Glengarry Glen Ross.”

That is a lot of fucks.

But when people get to the fucking, all the women-types leave their tops on. Not a boob to make me smile.

America is weird.

Plot? Sure!

The film tells the story of the couple Violet Barnes (Emily Blunt – like the blunt that was for the smoking before the film) and Tom Solomon (Jason Segel – he gets naked and is covered in moles – creepy), whose relationship becomes strained when they realize they have much longer engagement (like 5 years, duh).

For lack of time, the two delay marriage for next year and, moreover, Violet enrolls at the University of Michigan for the studying.

Then is promoted at work by her boss (asshole, with sick karate skillz), and this entails the need to move to another city.

I think.

Or the same one, but for more bad times.

When formalizing the relationship seems to move a background in the lives of two lovers, paradoxically, parents are beginning to put pressure on them to hasten the wedding.

In addition, some older relatives die and not get to see even more young people to the altar.

And die, and die, and die.

These deaths were funny.

More deaths would have been better.

Troubled situation, Violet and Tom must decide quickly what they want from life and to manage better time because, otherwise, things seem to spiral out of control.

No more spoilers.

Funny things happen. Stifler from “American Reunion” is cloned into another person named Alex (Chris Pratt) for this.

Cinema wants more of the Stiflers. An entire mouth-word exchange is done as Cookie Monster and Elmo.

Emily Blunt is too much damn cuteness. Things happen that are too easy.

And a taco truck. If only there was a taco truck outside of the screening place.

Man, munchies can give one the drool face…

So, two thumbs taking a nap on the sideways.

All movie inhabitants were the likable people, but the thing made two hours many more hours of feeling. In my butt. Until my butt went to sweet, sweet sleep. Only to wake up at the credits – angry and painful.

Wait for DVD when it is Netflixing time. The unrated cut will last four and a half hours – but seem like six.. Sweet Jesus!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “The Voice” is fun! Blake Shelton is drunk! Christina lost weight! Cee Lo is borderline homosexual! Adam Levine is a douch-nozzle! No more “American Idol” for me!

February 24, 2012

Wanderlust [REVIEW]

Wanderlust

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Sad writing times still sad.

To you, one less ferret.

To me, one less heart string by rodent warmed (Ed. Note – see last week. Sad.).

Movies? Films? Cinema?

Do now I even care?

Well. Yes.

I am a professional.

Roger Ebert never had the losing of constructive three weeks ruined. He is just jawless. Which is BADASS!!!

I am high.

“Wanderlust.”

WTF?

Good for the hoping?!? “Hells yes!”, in my mind I thought.

Why not? David Wain? Pretty funny for sure.

Some Appatow producing? Why THE HELL not?!?

The world needs more penis jokes.

Full disclosure: I am almost the gay for Paul Rudd as for the “Puss In Boots.” Malin Akerman makes my man parts yearn to the moon (and beyond). Ken Marino? Funny, bitches!

Movie? Film? Cinema?

Meh.

Plot? Not really, but try I must (Do, Kimmo, do! I hear you, Yoda!).

Linda (Jennifer Aniston) and George (Paul Rudd) have losing of work and only hitting hard the road can anything worthy of thought matter.

Then (being caught of the disease “movie dumb”), into Georgia they wander really.

Not good Georgia (former Soviets, science, industry) – but retard Georgia (peanuts, Creationism, crackers). Yet by not making Georgia they find communal living.

And Malin Akerman. More to come.

Jokes? Yes! And bad. Pubic hair.

Saying “dick” (funny when high, so funny at this time to me). Stereotypes that were original in the period of Never.

Oh! And closing credit out-takes!

Odin, this is the bestest! Never done in my life before my eye holes!

This movie is defeating me. Ennui hurts more than any other tired.

Now we leave the review for momentarily…

Why in February?

Is Universal much about the write off loss (so many questions – damn Kossu shots!). I have never tasted the accounting and still for the numbers I strain.

Are the Universal hoping for cinema death, to write off against anything that bathes in money?

Oh, to bath in money.

The entire movie taste is placed on the liking of the leads.

In your mind Rudd sucks? Then this sucks.

In your mind Aniston sucks? Same.

In your mind Akerman sucks? I will kill you. In your goddamn face. And don’t even touch her. Your death would be epic (for me) and of agony (for you). With fucking fire. Bitch.

So… really. See this crap if you are for the $15 to pump back into Uncle Sam. One thumb sideways. Malin Akerman is a goddess.

Else? Whatever. Do what you have to do. I cannot stop you.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. As “Fringe” comes to an end I want to J.J. Abrams say “nice job”. We will never again mention “Lost”. You asshole.

P.P.S. Fluffy. I said it. Crying begins once more. Damn.

July 8, 2011

Zookeeper [REVIEW]

Zookeeper

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

When one in thinking comedy, especially in these comedies, the tastes are as varied as in almost any other genre.

So there are the sophisticated, witty humor, the dark British humor, but also the “hurr durr” and/or “herp derp” or naive childlike humor.

Somehow, yes, any of these styles can be quite irritable (like a bowel) and – according to doses used – to provide lots of fun in the cinema, yet not out of the cinema.

Why leave but Kevin James and Adam Sandler for years on the constant same thing, now worn-kind, one must ask already.

While with “Grown Ups” could see at least a slight upward trend, fueled by the hope was that even Adam Sandler grows up again, unfortunately, we are now witnessing one of his (James, not Sandler) weakest comedies.

Paul Blart is now his Citizen Kane?

In this universe it is the curse.

We get Zookeeper.

We are Job.

Griffin Keyes is a zookeeper and the animals extremely popular, because it deals with them very closely and with devotion (“it” being “he” – you get it! Me too!).

But his job is in his love life very much in the way (damn!), because his dream woman wants to marry him not because he “is just a zookeeper” but because he is just a zookeeper.

Fortunately, the animals can understand people, not only us, but also speak with us – if they want, because a code that forbids them actually.

Animals are shifty and have rules. But to Griffin’s love life to fix it, decide the zoo, to obtain information on the rules of time and explain to the people even as it ensnares the beloved correctly.

What?

Unfortunately, the posturing of a bear is just as beneficial as the territorial markings of a wolf – at least with a human woman. This is true – I’ve seen it on the internet.

Even in the rough story one suspects that the level of humor is rather childish. How bad it really is but then, only in the course of the film clear, because at least when Kevin James pisses middle of the restaurant to a potted palm, because it was recommended by an animal, is such a limit is exceeded.

What?

Very mediocre (this is a short sentence). Wants above all, because there are quite a few such scenes in which we, as viewers, leave the theater either fled or sink in the chair – but not both for that is impossible.

Only the trip with the only really creative and well-developed character – the gorilla (better than Ed, the farting and baseball playing chimp – thanks for this Matt LeBlanc!) – knows how to convince.

This flashes on the existing definitive sense of timing and situation comedy, and fortunately remains sustainable even in the head (in my head or yours? Let me know in the comments!). Is a pity that one is linked somehow many, though not more, strands of plot processed.

Seriously.

Overall, Zookeeper, unfortunately, a disappointment (shocker! Although I expected Sasha Grey level suckage (naughty!) – go “Entourage”!).

There is much reason to be ashamed of strange and often situations that are very drawn to construct and bring on the hair (man I’m drunk). It simply lacks the spark of feeling for a humorous line.

Fans of the usual rather childish level Sandler / James movies will certainly enjoy themselves while here, but everyone else be warned: There is one funny – really only the gorilla excursion, which is hinted at in the trailer already. Everything else is unfortunately not worth the cinema ticket.

One thumb, wagging downward – like photo before in Cialis ad.

Bummer.

“I’m mad…And that’s a fact
I found out…Animals don’t help
Animal think…They’re pretty smart
Shit on the ground…See in the dark.”

“Animals” by The Talking Heads

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Summer television is the suck.

May 25, 2011June 1, 2011

Bridesmaids [REVIEW]

Bridesmaids

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Yes, I know I’m not the target audience for a movie called Bridesmaids.

But if a producer Judd Apatow guarantees with its name, then this promises to be something different to what the title suggests. And as expected, is also a film Bridesmaids of opposites.

This is thoroughly Chick Flick, but the only genre in which a woman with the words “It’s like hot lava” poops in a sink (yes!).

It is a film about female friendships, but in a way that men can understand very well because he stringing together not only Sex And The City bimbo stereotypes. It is a film one can laugh, the one affected and one marks his sincere compassion for all figures.

The pivotal point of the bride alarm is Kristen Wiig, who is their role vulnerable, but strong play. It is one of the few women in Hollywood who are really funny without descending into silliness.

Although it appears from a foot in the next, it never seems ridiculous, and as a spectator while you laugh over their misfortunes, but never over (at) it.

Instead, you feel with her and pressed her fingers crossed that she finds it to a successful conclusion. Must be comedies, then the audience does not care.

That’s bad.

For many years Kristen Wiig fans of this unequal, long, emotionally engaging and representing discreetly ambitious film is a welcome and overdue step away from their popular skits on Saturday Night Live and toward something that is sustainable and powerful. Apart from this it is a pretty funny movie.

If Bridesmaids is a women’s film, then call me quiet a woman. The film is witty and funny, touching and lewd. It crosses borders by making it cheerfully ignored.

In a moment of alarm for a bride is broad-gauge farce explores the sex (but not enough), from the standpoint of a woman from the next moment then it is a comedy of manners and class, which plays off against each other two bridesmaids.

If I were waiving thumbs, Bridesmaids would get more thumbs than my hand part protrudes.

And that is good.

Kimmo Mustonenen – Behind The Proscenium (Kimmo On Kino)