movie reviews – Behind the Proscenium

July 28, 2011July 28, 2011

Cowboys & Aliens [REVIEW]

Cowboys & Aliens

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Cowboys & Aliens. Who didn’t play this game in the backyard, when you were children?

I was always a cowboy for I had a hat. It (the scenario) was better on my neighbor Kurri’s backyard; than it was on the big-ass screen.

Story? Well, here goes something…

If a stranger wakes up in the middle in New Mexico in 1873, he does not have memory of his past.

So says this film.

The only reference point which he has is, clamped to his wrist, an outlandish metal bracelet.

The foreigner walks into the city of Absolution and confuses and angers of the local cattle baron – his son. And he has run afoul and a brigand (yes, at the same time).

But when he finds out why he can’t think (not booze – though that has made me not think – like last Wednesday… but that is for another article – boy, I was drunk) – I just got lost in my own sentence.

And from here, Cowboys & Aliens enters into same old, same old cycle, which has the again formed group to run into sporadic detours on their journey – only to be alien attacked again and again.

I miss Indians.

The attacks are shot acceptable. Director Jon Favreau is not stranger to the shooting activity, but there’s no tension, no edge of their seat excitement, which should come at all directions and from each possible position of constraint.

And then we find the heroes can die.

No one never did die in the Kurri’s backyard (not for lack of trying).

Cowboys & Aliens is played fast and loose. The film wastes no time with receiving firmly into and soon it is alien time.

This sets the movie away from other, shy, films. Like Super 8. Show the monster already!

Daniel Craig forms persuasive ass-kicker, for very much a cowboy. That is, if you’ve never seen a movie about cowboys – with or without aliens.

I won’t spoil the alien look. They’re gnarly and ugly – like Kathy Griffin (ha! A joke!).

But even awkward exhibition and lengthy letters can work on their way into an exciting adventure film. Unfortunately, no person it seems in Cowboys & Aliens seems to have fun.

Harrison Ford grumbles with constipation, which does in each film for the last several years (two words – stool softener. Changed my life).

There are moments here and, where he and Craig talk to each other with their eyeballs. Those moments are cool.

Sam Rockwell seems the only member which thoroughly amuses himself. At my screening, the chant “More Sam, more Sam” made the rafters dance (disco!).

And this disappointment continues and on into approximately each aspect of Cowboys & Aliens (that is fun to type).

A western film, tries to have John Ford landscapes, can not strike the necessary boundry-lessness of the west – and the alien motivation for the Earth grabbing? Stupid, stupid, stupid (my editor stops me at three stupids).

Summary: Cowboy & Aliens was better in the Kurri’s backyard of my childhood than in the multiplex which now probably fills the backyard of your youth.

Oh, and Olivia Wilde is fetching (new word)!

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

July 15, 2011July 15, 2011

Winnie the Pooh [REVIEW]

Winnie the Pooh

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Of more than 35 years since his last major movie appearance he is finally back: Winnie the Pooh, the honey-loving, always good-natured bear from the woods (where Pooh the bear goes – well… – The Pope is Catholic, right?).

In many places is the question – where the Heffalump has the Pooh been?

Forgotten, ignored, displaced?

This theatrical release alone is enough to run under the great banner of Walt Disney (and his frozen head – article later).

For this had been entirely based on old traditions and even if the marketing was on the safe side, and a post-modern piece of animation a la “Shrek” purported to end – it was a classical fairy tale and a good one at that.

With Winnie the Pooh, Disney goes a step further (or back, in both space and time), but here is a very old-fashioned, even to two-dimensional cartoon (not 3D, much thanks to God).

Is that nice?

Heffalump yes it is!!!

For content, one has taken three original stories of Winnie the Pooh inventor A.A. Milne.

Everything is as usual, feels familiar and exudes the nostalgic charm of the original and would smell like a cookie.

Childhood memories, surprises remain out completely (and we know that surprised children can be calamitous). It is just what you expect.

Pooh has in search of fresh honey, Eeyore lost his tail and then disappears (but not like in Hostel – that would freak me out!).

The story is really Heffalumping slow going, but in this case is not a disadvantage, because the film is primarily designed for a very young audience, and for many it will be the first cinema experience (Playskool’s “My First Cinema!” Send me a check, Playskool).

It will be taken for all time, faster, more exciting passages are interspersed with quiet moments at the pause (I think). Which is for the drooling old and much for the drooling young. And both go in their pants.

By a narrator who is voiced by John Cleese, opens up a playful connection between audience and film world.

Among the hand-drawn pictures in watercolor style are also found numerous pages of a book whose words are the story and interact with Pooh as well as with his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Especially at this point it is interesting for older viewers, since in Winnie the Pooh are many word games and gimmicks with the fourth wall (thanks for that one, theater school!).

Also emphasize the positive, was very successful finale, in which provides an involuntary seizing of the characters in a self-dug pit for jokes – like a “Saturday Night Live”.

Winnie the Pooh is no more, no less, no up, no down. Is a great movie for kids, a nostalgia for the grown and enjoy a short (in the beginning) – namely “The Ballad of Nessie”.

So, as like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (what a good weekend for movies!) – two more vigorous thumb wavings – old fashioned and refreshing (lemonade!).

If you don’t go, you are Heffalumping crazy! I stand by this statement.

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. If you have a hatred for my English – go Heffalump yourself! In the pore!

May 11, 2011May 31, 2011

Priest [REVIEW]

Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Lily Collins, Brad Dourif, Stephen Moyer, Christopher Plummer, Alan Dale, Madchen Amick, Jacob Hopkins, Dave Florek, Joel Polinsky, Josh Wingate, Jon Braver, Casey Pieretti, Theo Kypri, John Griffin, David Backus, Roger Stoneburner, David Bianchi, Tanoai Reed, Arnold Chon, Henry Kingi Jr, Cory Goodman, Scott Charles Stewart, Min-Woo Hyung, Austin Priester, Marilyn Brett, Kanin Howell, Julie Mond, Michael D. Nye, Reiner Schone, Kevin T. McCarthy, Boyuen, Anthony Azizi, Pramod Kumar, Lafayette R. Dorsey, Josh Bratman, Michael De Luca, Joshua Donen, Glenn S. Gainor, Steve Galloway, Stuart J. Levy, Mitchell Peck, Sam Raimi, Nicolas Stern, Christopher Young, Don Burgess, Lisa Zeno Churgin, Rebecca Weigold, Rick Montgomery, Albert Cho, Aaron Critchlow, Steve Danton, Charles Gibson, Cecilia Mak, Jennifer Blair, Dawn Turner, Zia Bales, Matthew Cuny, John Graham, Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind The Proscenium, movie blog, movie reviews, Rotten Tomatoes

Priest

With wit, reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

Another comic, another fairy tale, everything is so commonplace that one can only sit back and anticipate the events of the film.

Even the trump card – an explanation of all that is happening on the screen, issued at the beginning of the tape.

What?

And, apparently, the authors rely on the most stupid – you are no parables, all shows pictures, against which the voice of simple monosyllabic sentences, explains:

“There have always been people, and have always been vampires.”

Thanks Voice!

In the distant future, the remnants of civilization are concentrated in cities surrounded by wasteland. In the desert, scattered small settlements and numerous colony-reservation containing vampires.

About how the U.S. turned into a desert, why in the towns, settlements, all seem to the Wild West, and big cities are more like dungeons that hold the power of the totalitarian-minded priests – come on now! Not reported!

In the comic, the previous film, showing only the Middle Ages and the recent past, but says nothing about what needed nuclear carpet bombing.

However, one detail still unknown – the vampires have helped overcome the guys from the church SWAT called “pastors.” These brisk as worms, priests, nearly all suppressed the rebellion of vampires, but after all that they needed neither the church and were dismissed.

Everything changes after one town attacked the vampires and kidnapped relative of one of the pastors. That, of course, goes against the decision of the church council and sent to rescue a girl who suddenly (!) turns out to be his daughter. Well, the church council also not be a fool after sending him to the other shepherds with orders to return to the apostate dead or alive.

I always want to look into the eyes of filmmakers, who took off one of squalor, not complacent, and immediately, the very next day after failing to hire them to be taken to create a new epic movie.

What?

I must admit that Scott Charles Stewart learned a lot since his debut – sadly, nauseating film “Legion“, the most interesting aspect of which was an advertising trailer.

In the “Shepherd” Scott realized that, firstly, the religious themes are already not too terrified minds, especially those viewers that they believe in the Buddha and other Bhagavad-Gita, and secondly, two billion potential viewers on Christian motives for and large, do not care.

Therefore, hastily changing the archangels with the priests uncertain religion, only the cross (and even then – not canonical) reminiscent of Christianity, and all sorts of adversity Doomsday – and also vampires.

Still, the film is ready. Especially handy is the sidekick Paul Bethany, has played in a masterpiece of “Legion” of the main good-natured person that went against God’s will.

“What’s next?” – thought Scott Charles Stewart. Indeed, one priest, struggling with the vampires, does not go far, and in general – “Blade” is still fresh in memory (tax evasion). Means it is necessary to add something, right?

The main villain invented obviously under the influence of the film “John Hex“- yet another monstrously miserable comics masterpiece, as a vampire in a cowboy outfit (with a dog, and a fox… Megan Fox that is. What?) – it’s sort of cool, not un-sucky. It turned out funny film – it is not clear to whom it is intended.

Fans of horror and vampire fighters will spit on the pathetic dialogue, causing a gagging impulse, whereas these impulses should call the cruelty of prohibitive. Kids watch this film – though there’s no nudity and vulgarity, to sleep after such horror, kids will, quite frankly, bad. BAD!

Mass audience? It is unlikely that someone decides to go on a date for this movie here. There are only fans of the “Legion “, but judging by the collections, such – not enough to swear by.

And then there was unbearably serious Paul Bethany. In his companions gave Maggie Q playing the protagonist in love with a colleague on a religious commandos, and Cam Gigandet in the role of the local sheriff who helps the protagonist. All of this trio looks absurd – well, they did not seem like to a team, no chance to meet people of liking.

Somewhere that does not sink or float.

Or swim, by floating.

What?

And when they start talking … well, about the conversations I have already mentioned.

The only thing I can not praise this film – the visual design. Locations quite a lot you see, they are interesting and varied. Plus a few scenes where the pastor and his comrades destroy the vampires and their minions are well supplied. With regard to 3D – a help for him very little, and watch in 3D there are not at that and no one else.

Verdict : Compared with the “Legion” – this film is a real breakthrough. No “Fast and the Furious Five“, but yes. But Bethany is still dull, and Scott Charles Stewart, whatever.

Just add Ginnifer Goodwin, and at hand is a classic.

Ginnifer Goodwin. What?

Kimmo Mustonenen
Follow @KimmoMustonenen