Richard Armitage – Behind the Proscenium

The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

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Here are the facts:

The Fellowship of the Ring – Book pages 432 – Film minutes 2:58

The Two Towers- Book pages 352 – Film minutes 2:59

Return of the King- Book pages 512 – Film minutes 3:21

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The Hobbit – Book pages 300

Now for the movies.

The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey – 2:49

The Hobbit – Desolation of Smaug – 2:41

The Hobbit – Ka-ching!!! – Who the hell knows?

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So, The Lord of the Rings – Book pages 1296, Total Time 9:18

The Hobbit – Book pages 300, Total Time (so far) 5:30

‘Nuff said.

Are we still there for the caring?

I am done.

How long can this go on?

The Hobbit (Kim Kardashian) continues on its quest.

Things go on forever. BUT, 3-D IMAX made my pants a place for the peeing.

Awesome!!

Go see it.

You will if I do or if I do not say the right things.

As much as thinking Peter Jackson drools over money, the film still makes the mind flop on itself.

Good work, moneygrubber!!!

In other ways, go see “Afternoon Delight.” Independent films make on feel the smarter.

This is the time of year when Hollywood makes the liking of Hollywood seem like the boning of one’s sister.

Kind of hot. Totally sleazy.

If Hollywood was a man, “The Hobbit” would have been 10 movies.

Hollywood – you are a pussy.

So…Two thumbs up.

Made up story is still good story. IMAX 3-D is still IMAX 3-D.

Hey, Hollywood whoredom works. I must deal with this.

See this three times.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Now for brain expanding Vonnegut (Dead Eye Dick – 1982 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadeye_Dick) – “We all see our lives as stories, it seems to me, and I am convinced that psychologists and sociologists and historians and so on would find it useful to acknowledge that. If a person survives an ordinary span of sixty years or more, there is every chance that his or her life as a shapely story has ended, and that all the remains to be experienced is the epilogue. Life is not over, but the story is.

Some people, of course, find inhabiting an epilogue so uncongenial that they commit suicide.

P.P.S. “Survivor” finale on Sunday! Whoop dee whoop!!

Captain America: The First Avenger

With With, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Back on the good old days as a new superhero epic didn’t look on film screens apparently every other week, film producers used to satisfy we, us, the public with nothing more than bare exhibitionism.

Now they are just a bore.

Or am I exhausted (thanks for the tired, Transformers)?

Captain America: The First Avenger has strong opening times, a noble execution for sure.

Unfortunately they cannot this standard of the quality support and into crappy melodrama in the last hour ignore (if you can stay awake – yet so loud, how can you sleep?).

This is a dishonor, because a world-striking film of the Captain America could have caused indisputable momentum (my new superhero name!) for The Avengers.

Unfortunately, it is to be not.

Which we have here something I condemn to be underneath the average film, by choppy drawing up and the characters of one dimension (more on this later).

Thus it goes.

As Thor early in the season, Captain America: The First Avenger is requested, in order to do a terrible lot. And that is to explain to us the origin of a Marvel Comics guy, who we don’t know – also to his friends, the family and the sidekicks, then place it in world saving an adventure to the exhibition.

And more!

Suggest a point of romance and prepare for its inevitable sequels as part of the next years studio profits generator, known as The Avengers. Ka-ching!

Chris Evans plays as Steve Rogers – a child of Brooklyn, would like so much his country to serve, and would like the leading role to beat the Nazis in the Second World War (and in the face).

Unfortunately he’s a small guy – with many physical problems, thus Rogers is deemed unsuitable – he even tries to register several times under different names and with different physicians completely around New York.

This has gotten the attention of Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) – a mysterious scientist working with defense contractor Howard Stark (Domenic Cooper), American Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) and British agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) to develop a medical procedure to turn everyday soldiers into super soldiers.

In Finland, we call these push-ups.

When the procedure works, how can Steve Rogers best serve his country?

He best serves it by not being in a movie as lousy as The Green Hornet but that is not too hard.

Well, he becomes Captain America.

Who wouldn’t?

Most badly of all, Captain America: The First Avenger we get like two films, which are in one smashed.

We could have been with the first part of the film contently, with the Rogers and his abilities discovered and prove ourselves, a hero to be, but director Joe Johnston and the writing team believed to the necessity to go back and start a whole again other plotline over Nazi badasses, which tries to stand for one even still more bad leader than Hitler (what?!?) bent on world domination, Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving).

Is this Captain America nemesis number one? Better to save him for the upcoming sequel movie. This one is too long.

So, I give one drooping thumb.

Movie is in 3D, too bad script arrived in 2D – which is still 1D better than the acting!

Sad face for me.

Sad face for Captain America: The First Avenger.

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

Tag: Richard Armitage

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Captain America: The First Avenger [REVIEW]