Wendy Chuck – Behind the Proscenium

July 26, 2012

The Watch [REVIEW]

The Watch

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

The times that movies are not good are the long times.

We sit and wait.

Something must be better.

If not a plot or a funny, will the smoke make the bad the good?

Will an end come that is better than the beginning?

We hope.

We wait.

Mostly in vain.

Such it is with this dog poo stuck in the waffle tread of my cool Wolverines. It smells, it adheres and refuses to go away.

With a stick I dig, little flecks of “The Watch” leave my brain thoughts and flop to my carpet.

Then more for the digging of movie crap off of my sole.

And yet the smell of “The Watch” lives on up my nose-hole.

Can I not rid myself of the stink cloud? Perhaps shots of Kossu will clean my brain with sweet, sweet “I forget.”

But no.

What is seen cannot be unseen. What is smelled is forever in my nose front face.

Dammit.

I will put Kossu in my neti-pot and flush my mucus creators forever.

Who needs smell when smell is now always crap? Not Kimmo, that is sure!

Plot? I guess.

Ben Stiller is anal control freak at Costco. Murder! Skinned corpse!

Then Vince Vaughn (bloated like a drunken Swede) who is more for the party (shock!), less for the funny (how many years since “Swingers”? Too many).

Jonah Hill has returned to the fat and is now again funny (well, for this movie anyway) and angry because he is not a cop.

Then there is an English black guy (Richard Ayoade) who deserved to be in better cinema, but must have done something to be punished here.

Free Richard Ayoade!

These wacky misfits are the neighborhood watch!

Zany!

They have an adventure! Aliens!

Dick jokes! Alien dick jokes!

So much bad. So much.

What have I done wrong to deserve this?

So, name irony. “The Watch.”

Really? More likely “The Look At Bloody Car Wreck.”

Eyeballs don’t go to the screen for the funny – they can’t possibly look away. And then there is the hope from the above that I spoke.

And hope is the cruelest thing…

So, two thumbs just kind of doing thumb things. Not happy thumbs. Not suicidal thumbs. Just thumbs that are needing the entertainment to happen.

Thumbs that didn’t get squat from “The Watch.”

I am so excited for next week! Another re-make! That is so novel!

Never done in Hollywood! They are so original!

“Total Recall” will be all time the great one that needed a re-boot.

Sony Pictures can kiss my whirling butt-cherry.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Become my friend on Facebook. That is the only way that the truth of our friendship can be true. Do it!

P.P.S. Summer T.V. is turning from suck to Summer Olympics. What is the difference?

November 18, 2011

The Descendants [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Election, About Schmidt, Sideways, The Descendants, Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, Kaui Hart Hemmings, George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller, Nick Krause, Patricia Hastie, Grace A. Cruz, Kim Gennaula, Karen Kuioka Hironaga, Carmen Kaichi, Beau Bridges, Matt Corboy, Matt Esecson, Michael Ontkean, Stanton Johnston, Jeff Bridges, Jon McManus, Hugh Foster, Tiare R. Finney, Tom McTigue, Milt Kogan, Mary Birdsong, Rob Huebel, Laird John Hamilton, Aileen 'Boo' Arnold, Esther Kang, Melissa Kim, Robert Forster, Barbara L. Southern, Celia Kenney, Matthew Reese, Zoel Tumbull, Matthew Lillard, Judy Greer, Linda Rose Herman, Scott Michael Morgan, Darryl K. Gonzales, Koko Kanealii, Romey 'Keola' Yokotake, Fileena Bahris, Tracy Boyd, Jim Burke, George Parra, Jim Taylor, Phedon Papamichael, Kevin Tent, John Jackson, Jane Ann Stewart, T.K. Kirkpatrick, Matt Callahan, Wendy Chuck, Julie Hewett, Debra Rego, Renee Confair, Mads Hansen, Scott August, Richard Fox, Brian Costa, Craig H. Davidson, Marcus Young, Troy Boggess, Don Chong, Wes Ford, Andy Henry, Brian Bautista, Christine Carr, Joe Finley, Coleen Aiello, Deidre Backs, Sean Burke, Tal Fiala, Jeff Dash, Nancy Honeycutt, Dagny Looper, Lisa Lee Mitchell, Troy Manandic, Larissa Martinez, Courtney McCrory, Anna Musso, Anthony Ocasio, Jason Skweres, Cameron Spencer, Susan Wyshynski

The Descendants

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I begged for a savior.

A savior from the sameness of the same that is bad.

A savior from having to drink “Twilight” out of my brain thoughts until I had beach ball liver and bloody stool.

Thank the Lord!

I got two!

One, Alexander Payne.

He made Reese Witherspoon not annoying (“Election”). He got Mr. Oscar nominations for saggy, naked, and old woman – plus for once cool crazy man (“About Schmidt”). He made wine and golf together for Mr. Oscar that they were cool, almost (“Sideways”).

Two, George Clooney – the being only in Hollywood with more hotter than “Puss In Boots”.

Will Payne get Clooney Mr. Oscar? Am I happy to get to make that question?

Story?

Yes!

Matt King is of Hawaii, drowned in its affairs, indifferent husband and father who suddenly is accountable when his woman falls into a coma after her head bounces off of a boat.

The Matt must find a way to sort out and come close to two daughters, 10 and 17 years, while to realize himself how careless he was (although the daughters heads and boats were never in danger).

The concept of the “The Descendants” seemed particularly interesting. Although certainly not original (but, yes, it is), the casting of Matt was the selection of George Clooney in the starring role.

The script, as always is excellent with the embarrassing, almost slapstick comedy, melodrama in heavy and vice versa (which is not heavy, like my brother). Playing with all sorts of issues relating to differences between generations, bequests and by-laws, but never falls into the trap of a sermon.

Sermon movies? Go see Tyler Perry (he is not a lady! No kidding!).

Although the known slowness of the director is here again, certainly in this case has raised a speed, because you will not see nor suffer art house shots or tedious sour face close-up to the protagonist.

But then there are no naked clowns, either. They are in the art house welcome.

Payne not only managed to find the perfect role for Clooney, whose never disputed that his awesomeness was acting skills (as opposed to directing), but plays shamelessly with him, putting a rival, as… wait for it, Matthew Lillard, making it even more sympathetic to the viewer and you get one of the best interpretations.

All movie rivals shall now be played by Shaggy. Ruh roh!

Thus, and “The Descendants” looks like the perfect transition. A small production with big Hollywood actor and is digestible, unlike a shrub.

A very good movie with great story and a terrible Clooney steals the show.

Terrible good!

I mean, terrible great!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Note to Twi-tards: If you don’t like my “Twilight” review, you can suck it. So and then e-mail and tweet the link to all of your friends (online, not IRL – that way you have more than one) so to have them leave nasty comments! I dare you.

P.P.S. Kyrle – send me on the hour a hit count. We are going to score!

August 26, 2011August 26, 2011

The Help [REVIEW]

“The Help”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“The Help” is funny and touching (right in the heart chamber) adaptation of the novel of the same title published in 2009 by Kathryn Stockett.

How come it took so long to hang the book on the screen? I laugh at me.

Sockett’s book, a success in the Anglo market, makes a young American, “Skeeter” Phelan, whose relationship with two African-American women raised early sixties, a key cheerful and endearing, which was the movement Civil Rights in that country.

Was ever a more cheerful time?

With their impeccable debut film adaptation behind the camera to actor Tate Taylor, under whom works an excellent cast led by Emma Stone (“Easy A” – hubba!), Mike Vogel, Bryce Dallas Howard (she kicked my butt in “Terminator: Salvation”, even with red hair), Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer and Allison Janney (CJ in “The West Wing” and voice in those annoying Kaiser-Permanente commercials – I don’t want to thrive, alright?!?).

Broadly speaking, the script preserves the essential novel by Kathryn Stockett and gets carried away by the personality of three unforgettable characters: Aibileen Clark (Viola Davis), an African-American middle-aged white babysitter (white babies, Aibilieen is not white – this is important later), shattered by the loss of a son, Jackson Minny (Octavia Spencer), another black maid who dreams of a stable job (one that lasts awhile, not with horses), and Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone), the young graduate and aspiring writer who returns home and realizes that certain prejudices weigh like a millstone.

Except when you’re hot.

Set in Jackson, Mississippi, “The Help” portrays, through the comedy of manners and the intimate drama, the complicated emotional relationship plotted between white and black (no gray area here) communities throughout the sixties, just at that stage in which, happily, it all started to change.

Except for poor George Wallace. He wasn’t happy at all.

The success of this production will not surprise those who know the reputation that precedes the novel by Kathryn Stockett (if I write her name three times I get a free Kindle! Success!), a delightful book, which was rejected by sixty literary agents before they achieved the feat that is already on his lapel (contortionists – before you make letters, I know “feat” and “feet” are not the same. I’m from Finland, not Retardia.), selling five million copies and remain one hundred weeks on the bestseller list of The New York Times.

With Emma Stone and Viola Davis hired for the main roles, the rest of the casting was a relatively simple task. Throw a copy of the book down Sunset, hit an actor head-wise and “you’re in a movie!” Invented by Soderbergh. Genius.

And what about the atmosphere? This is another chapter in which the film succeeds completely (although it can’t really be seen – much like the air atmosphere we breath).

To preserve the spirit of the age and local color, the team moved to Greenwood, Mississippi.

Parts of the film also took place Jackson,Clarksdale and Greenville. Undoubtedly, all contribute to the feeling of breathing the whole truth. And being surrounded by hicks.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. The Glee Project?!? WTF?!?! Lindsay, if you need comfort, contact me at Manka Bros. You have made Ginnifer Goodwin no longer exist on me. Forever.