Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari Wilson

The Watch [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari Wilson The Watch

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

The times that movies are not good are the long times.

We sit and wait.

Something must be better.

If not a plot or a funny, will the smoke make the bad the good?

Will an end come that is better than the beginning?

We hope.

We wait.

Mostly in vain.

Such it is with this dog poo stuck in the waffle tread of my cool Wolverines. It smells, it adheres and refuses to go away.

With a stick I dig, little flecks of “The Watch” leave my brain thoughts and flop to my carpet.

Then more for the digging of movie crap off of my sole.

And yet the smell of “The Watch” lives on up my nose-hole.

Can I not rid myself of the stink cloud?  Perhaps shots of Kossu will clean my brain with sweet, sweet “I forget.”

But no.

What is seen cannot be unseen.  What is smelled is forever in my nose front face.

Dammit.

I will put Kossu in my neti-pot and flush my mucus creators forever.

Who needs smell when smell is now always crap?  Not Kimmo, that is sure!

Plot?  I guess.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari WilsonBen Stiller is anal control freak at Costco.  Murder!  Skinned corpse!

Then Vince Vaughn (bloated like a drunken Swede) who is more for the party (shock!), less for the funny (how many years since “Swingers”?  Too many).

Jonah Hill has returned to the fat and is now again funny (well, for this movie anyway) and angry because he is not a cop.

Then there is an English black guy (Richard Ayoade) who deserved to be in better cinema, but must have done something to be punished here.

Free Richard Ayoade!

These wacky misfits are the neighborhood watch!

Zany!

They have an adventure!  Aliens!

Dick jokes!  Alien dick jokes!

So much bad.  So much.

What have I done wrong to deserve this?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari WilsonSo, name irony.  “The Watch.”

Really?  More likely “The Look At Bloody Car Wreck.”

Eyeballs don’t go to the screen for the funny – they can’t possibly look away.  And then there is the hope from the above that I spoke.

And hope is the cruelest thing…

So, two thumbs just kind of doing thumb things.  Not happy thumbs.  Not suicidal thumbs.  Just thumbs that are needing the entertainment to happen.

Thumbs that didn’t get squat from “The Watch.”

I am so excited for next week!  Another re-make!  That is so novel!

Never done in Hollywood!  They are so original!

“Total Recall” will be all time the great one that needed a re-boot.

Sony Pictures can kiss my whirling butt-cherry.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Become my friend on Facebook.  That is the only way that the truth of our friendship can be true.  Do it!

P.P.S.  Summer T.V. is turning from suck to Summer Olympics.  What is the difference?

8 comments

  1. Horrible · July 26, 2012

    Looks absolutely horrible. Ben Stiller has betrayed the country. He was funny. Now he sucks. BETRAY!

  2. Alan Lund · July 26, 2012

    Agreed. What happened to Ben Stiller? Tower Heist now this?

  3. Tall Bobbin · July 26, 2012

    I am considered old if I remember when Ben Stiller was funny and Vince Vaughn was a heartthrob??

  4. Such Crap · July 26, 2012

    When are these guys and this includes Ferrell and Sandler going to grow up and do a good movie again!?!? The first couple of movies they did were truly funny but now it is beyond ridiculous! Quit beating a dead horse already!!

  5. Megan Reynolds · July 26, 2012

    Yes, agreed. These movies are a dime a dozen nowadays. I still have hope for better movies from Stiller, Ferrell, and Sandler…but won’t be holding my breath!

  6. Joqhuin Lexii Ferrari · July 26, 2012

    Aliens and dick jokes are funny

    9/10

  7. Lisa · July 26, 2012

    Absolutely horrible movie. Wasted $40 bucks and walked out. It could have been a good movie without all the filthy language and sexual content. I think I will stick with the old classics. Don’t waste your time seeing this movie, it truly sucked!

  8. Pingback: Ben Stiller Richard Ayoade – Go Read