The Death Of A Mogul

Good morning.

On March 7, 1958, my Uncle Simeon died.

The next day, his body was flown back his birthplace (Yambol, Bulgaria) for burial.

My asshole father, Harry, did not attend nor did he talk to Simeon during the last five years of his life.

Uncle Simeon’s story is a tragic Hollywood tale of weakness and insanity.

He died on March 7, 1958 on Hollywood Boulevard wearing only a sandwich board advertisement for “Benny’s World Of Beef.”

I have never heard of Benny’s World Of Beef so obviously he didn’t do a very good job promoting it. Perhaps he wasn’t promoting it at all and simply wore the sign because he had no other clothes.

From what I understand from my father, Simeon went insane around the turn of the 20th century. He would have been 18 at the time. That means he was insane for 58 years. 

All I remember is that he used to bang into stuff all the time.

He dubbed Manka Bros.’ films into Bulgarian doing all of the voices himself (it was very small market for us).

He urinated on everything at the studio – marking his territory I suppose.

He would urinate on movie sets, on movie stars, the food in the cafeteria… everything.

He must have constantly been hydrating.

But I digress… this is not a day to piss (excuse the pun) on his grave. This is a day to remember one of the founding brothers of this great company – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company.

He was the only Manka brother to be buried in their homeland of Bulgaria.

My other uncle (the great Khan Manka) wanted to be buried next to Napoleon (he wasn’t… Forrest Lawn actually); and my father Harry was buried under his old office (currently my office) here on the Manka Bros. Studio lot (Main Administration Bldg. 2).

So Manka Bros. employees, take a moment to remember your company’s history and then get back to fucking work – we’re having a terrible year!

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company